Flowers of Artemis
 Hello to all fan fiction users. Thanks to an awesome friend, I decided to make an account. Hope you guys like my profile page.:) I am a huge fan of Harry Potter, PJO, and everything weird!!!!!! :) Sorry i have so much random stuff, i just love everything that makes me laugh or cry! I made my avatar on this really cool website called Lunaii Dollmaker. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile. Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile A teenage girl of about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, Truest words ever spoken You say Love Song, I say Love Bug Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it; or drown, your choice. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others. If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing from something that happened YESTERDAY, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson If you're against racism, prejuice, discrimination, or even stereotype, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are over the age of 12 and still watch cartoon network, disney channel ect., and are proud of it, copy this into your profile. If you want animal neglect and abuse to stop then copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list: SamManson14, Jessica01,master123456789, TdiBridgette, XshoppingshortieX, Einstinette, Flowers of Artemis, Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FreakyTwilightLovero.o, emoTWiLiGHT. Obsessed.with.writing, -TeAm EdWaRd32- 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7, xshoppingshortiex, Einstinette, Flowers of Artemis, Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile. Arguing with yourself is fine. It's when you argue with yourself & LOSE that's weird. If you've ever done that, copy & paste this on your profile. If you have a small but dedicated circle of friends, copy and pate this into your profile. If you like animals, copy and paste this into your profile. If you listen to alternative rock, copy and paste this into your profile. Love knows no gender, age or color. If you totally agree with me, put this in your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If youve ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile. 5.5 million people are on the internet right now. Copy this onto your profile if you are one of them. If you have ever pasted anything on your profile, paste this on your profile. If you have a profile, paste this on your profile. If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile. If you love Percabeth, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Silendorf, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Groniper, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile If you say "LOL" when you laugh with your friends, copy and paste this onto your profile. Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. 1% are pushing Justin off the building. If you are part of that 9 or 1%, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are an expert at doing absolutely nothing for hours on end, paste this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile. If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! (\ _ /) This is Bunny. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile 97 percent of youth would go emo if Miley Cyrus was on top of a building about to jump. If your one of the 3 percent that would be screaming "JUMP BITCH JUMP" and pushing her off , copy and paste this onto your profile. 98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FreakyTwilightLovero.o, emoTWiLiGHT, sk8rchick2355, Number-1-Twilighters, HerMemoriesErased, x.rosalieorcatherine.xlol, daydreamingxxx, RabidFangFan, SeaweedGirl1, Flowers of Artemis, If you: love to read and act crazy, laugh and have fun, ignore people who call you names or think you are less than them, are always there to help your friend in their greatest time of need, run bare foot through the grass just for the joy of the sea of cold green that tickles your feet, spend as much time outside as you do reading or on the computer, are a night owl who hardly sleeps, act weird and crazy just to scare other people or make them laugh with you, then we would be great friends. :D Copy and paste this in your profile if this is you. If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.I am a girl. My name is Chris I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else I’m locked up All day long. When I’m awake I’m all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe I’ll just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall. I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says it’s my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door. He’s already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!” I scream But it’s now much too late. His face has been twisted Into an unimaginable shape. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Chris I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me. If you are against child abuse, put this in your profile...I did. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school He told his friends that it was cool And when he pulled the trigger back It shot with a great crack Mummy I was a good girl I did what I was told I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another And all because he got the gun from his older brother Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush And tell my little sister that she is the only one now And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class And never to forget this and please don't let this pass Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack Mummy listen to me if you would I wanted to go to college I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with daddy On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married I wanted to have a kid I wanted to be an actress Mummy I wanted to live But mummy I must go now The time is getting late Mummy tell my Chris I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date I love you mummy I always have I know you know it's true Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you" In memory of the Colombian students that were lost Please if you would Pass this around I'd be happy if you could Don't smash this on the ground If you pass this on Maybe people will cry Just keep this in heart For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" Now you have two choices 1) re-post and show you care 2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!! YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. TOTAL:13 (better than being a girl-girl) :P YOUR GIRL SIDE: x You wear lip gloss/chapstick. (chapstick when necessary, never lip gloss) TOTAL:8 (im a girl so...) Wisdom of Life - Quotable Quotes and Facts of Life A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality. Hold your head high, gorgeous, there are people that would kill to see you fall. When you're weird, you're normal. If you're normal, then you're weird. Have fun, laugh at things that aren't funny, and make a HUGE loser out of yourself in public. Don't take life so seriously. No one gets out alive. Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! Hold your head high, gorgeous, there are people that would kill to see you fall. Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! Don't hit kids. . . . . no seriously, they got guns now. Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity . . . not so sure about the universe. I'm rad, you're rad . . . but if you hug me, I will slap you silly. People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers. Pictures fade away but memories are FOREVER! . . . unless you're an amnesiac. Take candy, not drugs. Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift; that's why we call it present. Friendship is like peeing your pant; everyone can see it, but only you can feel it. Hold your head high gorgeous, there are people that would kill to see you fall. Don't like my attitude? Call 1-800-KISS-MY-ARSE If you're gonna be two faced, sweetie, at least make one of them pretty. Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much. Welcome to the internet, pants optional. Elmo watches you from your closet. My imaginary friend thinks you have some SERIOUS problems. Life is like a pack of gum . . . I have yet to figure out why. Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws :) The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. Attempting to give a damn . . . . . Unable to give a damn. Stopping . . . . Process failed. Damn not given. I'm not so good at advice; may I intrest you in a sarcastic reply? Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep. WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs. Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real. I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. (I don't have ADD, I have SAS: short attention span) What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man? I'm not littering . . . just donating to the Earth. It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing. I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead. Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. My favorite word is sarcasm. Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people. If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet? Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Screw fire and save matches!! Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back! There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed. One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons. I hear your silence loud and clear. According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Tell the truth and run. Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat. Generally, generalizations are wrong. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research. Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts. The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here? Whatever you are, be a good one. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. We are the people our parents warned us about. Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. Belief gets in the way of learning. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear. Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. Have the courage to live. Anyone can die. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. Cynics are made, not born. What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week. Maybe this world is another planet's hell. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? My mind works like lightning . . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Don't underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains. Never say that! Never! Run before you walk! Fly before you crawl! Keep moving forward! Because if we fail, I'd rather fail really hugely. All or nothing! Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . . When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing. If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me. Don't pop my bubbles. I'll get depressed. Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was. If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up. People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang", I don't think you'd kill too many people. He who laughs last didn't get it. If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous. They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out. The 50-50-90 rule: any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter. Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you. Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done. If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, but only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life? Silence is golden . . . duct tape is silver. When life gives you lemons . . . Be insane- well behaved people never made history. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions. It's always in the last place you look . . . of course it is, why would I keep looking for it? Happiness is just around the corner! . . . Too bad the world is round . . . I'm not random . . . I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it! If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *!" Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where Paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in paper. I hate it when people say there is no such thing as normal. There IS such thing, as normal means average, what is considered to be most common. Normal. Of course, I'm not normal at all so I have no idea what I'm on about. If you want to learn how to explode things, crush things, cause things harm, or whatever random things you need, I'm your girl. If you want to know about anything that you will actually USE in life, go somewhere else. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . . Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to wa lk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! She's broken. She believed. The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity. No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won’t make you cry. Adults are just kids with money. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 to reach out and slap someone Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is. Be yourself. That's crazy enough. You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail. The trouble with real life is that there is no background music There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes If you had a life you would stop talking about mine We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction! Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah! Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret! Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll. By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks? I'm smiling cause I'm your sister, I'm laughing cause theres nothing you can do about it! MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men! Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems! We fear rejection, want attention, crave affection and dream of perfection Sorry, there are some bad words, i don't like them. I just copy and pasted this, but ill try to put those little star things. (*) It's just really long. Not all of them are words but i still put the star because i dont like those words. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible s*. I HAVE STRAIGHT A's so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I have a BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be f* them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems Steretypes can hurt people, and are generally not true. Please Repost this i f you agree I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7, xshoppingshortiex, Einstinette, Flowers of Artemis, The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... The Percy Jackson pledge: I promise to remember Percy I promise to remember Annabeth I promise to protect nature I promise to remember Luke I promise to remember Chiron I promise to remember Tyson I promise to remember Thalia I promise to remember Clarisse I promise to remember Bianca I promise to remember Nico I promise to remember Zoe I promise to remember Rachel yes I promise to remember PJO Copy & Paste: Girls Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants, who holds your hand in front of all his friends, who thinks your beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you, THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER! Who doesn't want a guy like this? So hard to find them like this these days... Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile How to check if you live in 2012 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years. (on my labtop) 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job... 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. Here's what ya do: mark your answers with a little 'x' in the () if its true, but BE HONEST (I was)!! Then copy and paste it onto your profile! 1 (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking 3 (x) You have ran into a glass/screen door 4 () You have jumped out of a moving vehicle 5 (x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks 16 () Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde 18 () You have accidentally caught something on fire 20 (x) You have caught yourself drooling 21 () You've fallen asleep in class 22 (x) Sometimes you just stop thinking 29 (x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it 30 (x) You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket 31 (x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you, like on a myspace... 32 () You break a lot of things 33 () Your friends know not to use big words around you 34 (x) You sometimes tilt your head when you' re confused 37 (x) The word 'like' is used many times a day 38 () You called a friend and then completely forgot what you were gonna say 39 (x) You have spelled your name wrong Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: no. Girl: Do you like me? Boy: no Girl: Do you want me? Boy: no. Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: no. Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: no. Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: no Girl: Choose: me or your life. Boy: My life. The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says: Boy: The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason why I don't want you is because I need you. The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I wouldn't do anything for you is because I would do EVERYTHING for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad When she stares at your mouth When she pushes you or hits you When she starts cussing at you When she's quiet When she ignores you When she pulls away When you see her at her worst When you see her start crying When you see her walking When she's scared When she lays her head on your shoulder When she steals your favorite hat When she teases you When she doesn't answer for a long time When she looks at you with doubt When she says that she likes you When she grabs at your hands When she bumps into you When she tells you a secret When she looks at you in your eyes When she misses you When you break her heart When she says its over When she re-post this bulletin Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's OK don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it??? October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!! What a year!! Ha Ha Ha o The List Of Things I Am NOT Allowed To Do At Hogwarts No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology". "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore". If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends". I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. I am not a sloth Animagus. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar. I will not lick Trevor. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda. It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?" My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf." First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. -Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force". I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real father in a raspy voice. I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather. -Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise. I am to stop asking Professor Snape to Yule Ball. Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is inappropriate. Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it. I will stop sending Professor Snape forged love notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office'. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group. Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong. -So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them. Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate. -Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge. Every time I see a dementor, I will not go, "Ssssssssshire...Bagginsssss". - or "The Shire/Frodo is That Way!" Every time I see Dobby I will not say something about 'master' or 'Precioussssss'. "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" is not a transfiguration spell. Neither is "Oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang" Not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "mini me." I should not remark that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" when Snape gets angry. Ever. If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell "MORPHIN' TIME!" every time I change. - I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either. Adding "-us" to the end of a word does not make it a spell. -Neither does adding "izzle". Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'. Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'. Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: Hiding from you. Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby? Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Guy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you. Girl: But would you stay there? Ways to get Kicked out of Wal- Mart 1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart 2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment 3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham 4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!! You're ALIVE!! It's a MIRACLE!! etc." 5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _ 6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!" 8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!" 9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!" 10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell "PICK ME" 11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men 13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them 14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice 15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts 16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "code three in house ware" and see what happens 18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department 19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap 20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor 21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 22. Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" 23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation 24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..." 25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool... 26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it 27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind." 28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song 29. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?" 30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!!" Then run out of the store screaming 31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called wal mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names? 32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles 33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them 34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out 35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, "I like to move it, move it! Or say "You got chicken legs!" 36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room 38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food" 39. TP as much of the store as possible 40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! then get back up & act normal 41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely." 42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke 43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one... I know I know... hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off 44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day 45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department 46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom 47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!" 48. Over the intercom say there is a big sale on all items in electronics department and first 10 people to the check outs gets one item free... & see what happens 49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in peoples carts 50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners 51. Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!! 52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night 53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras 54. Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand 55. Go up to some of the customers while your carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face 56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by 57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie." 58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a Mcchicken 59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better" 60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, "A clue a clue!" 61. Go to a clerk and tell them u lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask u his name make up a ridiculous name 62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters 63. While Humming the theme to Mission Impossible While wearing all black, knock over all of the cans 64. Take all the CD's put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again 65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you 66. Take a friend with you and a younger child and start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store and yell CILLY COME BACK!! 67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing 68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!!" 69. Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head 70. Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say "your wish is granted" 71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!!" 72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say... sir or madam... don't think that. 73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there." 74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman. 75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song 76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store 77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead 78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar!! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you 79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles 80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous." 81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down 82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham 83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags 84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle 85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions 86. Swing on the half price banners 87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you're annoyed 88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty 89. Hold Barbie for ransom 90. Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen's "We Will Rock You" 91. throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart 92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!" 93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!" 94. Do your own radio show over the intercom 95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father" and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask 96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up 97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming 'EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN! 98. find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you 99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices 100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over 101. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund 102. get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby 103. Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, "I know how you feel..." 104. Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded 105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items 106. Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, "I will not be silenced!!" 107. Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!!" 108. Hug someone randomly and say, "I love u mommy!" 109. Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit 110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!" 111. Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around 112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!!" 113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell " COOKIE!! COOKIE!! NOOOOOO!!" Then start rolling around 114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well... I've been waiting..." 115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy frys. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the frys above their head like there getting married 116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!" 117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in 118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture. 119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you. 120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying. 121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend. 122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from McDonalds, but not Walmart 124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things 125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too. 126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. 127. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure. 128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store. 129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can. 130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song. 131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized. 132. Light a match under a sprinkler 133. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away. 134. Buy something that is like 5 and give the cashier all pennies. 135. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!! I haven't seen you in so long!!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy. 136. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this" 137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up. 138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone. 139. start hitting on the mannequins. 140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up. 141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap. 142. Put women's clothes into men's carts. 143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men's carts when they aren't looking. 144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming "COPYCAT!" 145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won. 146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say "WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!" 147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!" 148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel 149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME! 150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!" 151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused. 152. Ask for Goat Milk 153. Make sure somebody's in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say "AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!" Until someone asks if you're alright. When they do, get up and say, "Yes, I'm fine, why?" And then walk away calmly like nothing happened. 154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, "WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!" 155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people 156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!" 157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can't see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling "Hey, I'm Using the Bathroom in here!!" 158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, "Can I have some toilet paper?" 159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans! 160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer. 161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing "Surfin' USA" 162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, "God has spoken!!" 163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way. 164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker! 165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins 166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head. 167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3. 168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it. 169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face 170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time. 171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg. 172. Start playing the violin. 173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, "Shh, this is my favorite show!" 174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead. 175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in. 176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce lika a bum 177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!!" 178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily 179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan. 180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend. 181. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically 182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!" 183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!" 184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff 185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes. 186. Walk around in a court jester costume 187. Run at people with a pitch fork 188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack 189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them 190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two." 191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?!" 192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people 193. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair' 194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can. 195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day 196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals 197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera 198. Yell curse words at people 199. Knock down as many displays as you can 200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away. 201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people 202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away 203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?" 204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle 205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces 206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!" 207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone. 208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming. 209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes. 210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store. 211. Start singing, "Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that's real far! Up above us in the sky! It's weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!" 212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years. 213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short. 214. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!" 215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!" 216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, "I'll have that one. And that one. And that one..." Keep going until you've pointed to every fish they have in stock 217. Tap dance through the store 218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican 219. Rip open every package you see 220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way. 221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically) 222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi." 223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again. 224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!" 225. Follow a male security dude and ask him where the "feminine needs" are. 226. Go to the toy isle, set up the GI joe figures and yell, " Then it's WAR!!" 227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers. 228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see. 229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish. 230. Grab a strawberry shortcake doll and go to the bakery section. Tell the baker "I'd like to buy strawberry shortcake!" and hold the doll in their face. 231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you. 232. Announce that there's a huge sale at Target 233. Throw a party in a busy isle 234. Test drive lawn mowers 235. Have a tennis tournament in the middle of the store 236. Throw all the bouncy balls in the toy section everywhere and let them bounce around 237. Carry a bomb and make it explode 238. Eat a bunch of candy and refuse to pay for it 239. Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager 240. Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by 241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!" 242. Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you. 243. Take a marker to all the happy faces. Then change the prices. That will start an uproar 244. When a clerk stops you and asks your name read their name of their id card. When they say it's not your name scream, "IDENTITY THEFT!!" 245. Throw jelly sweets at the cashiers 246. Steal a shopping cart(As in take it out of the store and put it in your car) 247. Ride on the back of the carts. (they hate it when you do that) Run into other carts yelling like a maniac. 248. Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When the snap and yell at you scream, "STALKER!!" 249. Pretend like you're a person who works there and walk around saying, "Can I help you find anything?" 250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it 251. Pretend like you're blind and can't find what your looking for. Go up to random people and ask, "Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?" 252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda 253. Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, "It lowered my cholesterol!" 254. Order a pizza from the cashier 255. Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred 256. Start a food fight 257. Go up to a fat woman and say, "Taxi?" 258. Put underwear over your shorts, get a blue shirt, yellow paint, and red paint, paint an s on the shirt, go to the material section, cut a red cape, then get an umbrella, open it, and jump off the tops of shelves. 259. Take the spray paint and paint all the people around you 260. Go up to random people and hug them while putting a 'Kick Me' sign on the back of their shirt 261. Hide in dark places with a golden ring. when people walk by, jump out at them hissing, "We wants it! You cants have it!" Then gently whisper, "it will be alright my precious" 262. Flip off the manager 263. Go to the food section, take all of the boxed items out, and stack them up to make a fort. Glue can help. And creating a 'distraction' elsewhere for the employees to handle while you work does too... 264. Drop a pen and let someone else go and pick it up for you. When they do try to pick it up yell to them, "HEY THATS MY PEN THEIF!" 265. Bring a slip n' slide blast some Music and bring some random people to it and kick their back so they slide accross the slip n' slide and scream "PARTY IN THE HIZ HOUSE!!" 266. Throw a dance party 267. Write on the floors 268. Pull all the clothes off the racks into a pile on the floor and hide under it, and when someone tries to pick the clothes up, leap out cackling madly and run down the aisles, still cackling. 269. Go up to someone and say "look over there" Then pull down their pants. And, if you're lucky, their underwear. 270. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and when someone tries to help you, bite them. Or pretend to faint. 271. Get a bag of chips and walk around the store eating them. When an employee tries to stop you or make you pay, tell them that they're your chips! Keep screaming it. 272. Spray a customer with pepper spray and scream, "Help! Help! He's a rapist!" 273. Pretend to be a rabid dog and run around growling at people. Then if someone tries to stop you, bite them. 274. Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out. 275. Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, "Monster Truck Mania!!" 276. Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down. 277. Take red juice Pour it on your face make streaks or stripes then layout on the floor with a flower in your hand when a crowd of people come stand up and walk like a zombie! 278. Grab a bowl, spoon, milk, and cereal. Eat it right there and tell them you'll pay when your done. 279. Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill... then ask for a speed increase 280. Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy looking for your wife, Cleopatra 281. Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time. 282. If you are in Target, say there is a code yellow 283. Get some candy corn form the candy aisle put two on your canine teeth and go around the store biting peoples necks 284. Flirt with the manager's wife/husband 285. Walk calmly to the CDs, when u see one that has Hilary Duff, yell (if you're a fan) OHMIGOD! HILARY'S LATEST! OHMIGOSH, I, LIKE HAVE TO HAVE THIS! (if you're not a fan) Find a hammer, take the CD, gently put it on the floor, then mash it like a madman. 286. Run around spinning and say you're the Tasmanian devil 287. Run around in circles and yell, "I'M THE CIRCLE MAN!" 288. Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It's actually really fun... 289. Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down 'to take over Wal-Mart' and turn it in 290. Get a water gun and threaten someone with it. A cashier is usually a prime candidate. Then say in a low, dangerous voice (without collapsing into laughter) "Empty out the cash register." 291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people. 292. Hide in the clothes so when someone comes to look you yell, "PICK ME!" 293. Request that an employee find you an imaginary product, then keep saying: "I know it's here somewhere, just keep looking!" Eventually the employee will run out of patience, so then you say: "You've been punked!" And run out screaming and laughing. (Maybe you won't get kicked out, but you'll freak an employee out...) 294. Print out a bunch of advertisements for Target, Marshalls, etc... Then calmly go around taping/gluing/stapling them to products, people, and walls. It helps to have a WHOLE lot of them. 295. Move things around. (Put frozen food in with the barbies, etc...) 296. If a fat person has a twinkies in their cart take it out and start eating it and spit it out on them and yell, "That crud is sick!" 297. Point at an old man and yell, "LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!" 298. Put a ski mask on and wear a black cape with black clothes and a fake sword and yell, "Zoro has returned!" 299. Dress up as an old lady and whack people with your purse and when employees come to stop you, pretend to faint 300. Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning and do cartwheels around the store screaming, "I'm pregnant!" 301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas 302. Break some glass, then accuse a flying monkey 303. Threaten a cashier with a candy bar 304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over. 305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry. 306. Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, "What if the cows aren't ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!" 307. Redecorate the Rollback Smiley Face so he is green with neon pink eyes. 308. Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is. 309. If you see a couple holding hands, run through their hands and scream, "RED ROVER!" 310. Grab a gnome, then hide in a clothes rack and when someone picks out a shirt or whatever jump out and yell "The gnome did it! The gnome did it!" Then throw the gnome and run. 311. Put up free sample signs all over the store and watch people leave with their "free samples." 312. Run around the store screaming, "OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!" 313. In Walmart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them. 314. Get a bunch of your friends, about 10 or more, and go up to a lady who looks like she's in her 20's. When there are lots of people around, ask, "Mommy? Can we have some ice cream?" 315. Spit in the manager's face 316. Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, "Hello, hello, hello" nonstop until they get really mad 317. Go to customer service and say, "Your fat vallet guy stole my car." 318. Put an "Out of Order" sign on the manager's butt 319. Go up to customers and whisper, "Seven Days..." and if they turn around, pelt them with Skittles 320. Melt chocolate, then scream, "Free face masks!" 321. Wear a pair of bright yellow pants on your head and run around screaming, "They Got Me!!" 322. Slap the manager and scream, "He's alive! He's ALIVE!!" 323. Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people 324. Run around the store five times, and when you are done, scream, "I WIN!" and do a victory dance 325. Let a collie lose in the store, then scream, "Lassie, come home!" 326. Make your friend that's a guy try on girl clothes and then have him run around like a crazy person. 327. Hide in a boys clothes rack, and when a boy with glasses walks by, scream, "You're a wizard, Harry!" 328. Grab lots of G.I. Joe action figures and Water Bombs and yell, "ITS WAR!!" whenever someone walks by and throw the bombs at them. 329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!" 330. Buy a fake but expensive looking vase. (ex. a cheap glass pot.) Fill it with some ash and soot. Then take it to an employee, bump into him and drop it so it shatters. Then keep screaming at him that it was your mother and you will sue him for every thing he owns, and tell him he has to pick it up then and there or he will be cursed for 10 years. 331. Put a squirt gun in a stuffed elmo's hand and scream, "Everybody down!! Elmo's got a gun!" 332. Drive around in a kiddie car singing the batman theme song. 333. Run around with underwear on your head screaming, "I'm Blind!! DORMITORY: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ANIMOSITY: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: PLEASE READ. If this doesnt touch you... ,( meanie heartless person! I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy to reach. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Girls don't realize these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet alot of girls do too. Annoying things to do on an elevator: LOLZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. (Put this on your page if u like music) Put this in your profile If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't do drugs. I do chocolate. If you are like me and do chocolate, paste this on your profile. You're a 90's kid if: You can finish this 'ice ice _' In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.(but i don't have any other time to use it!) On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(damn you fritos!) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."(...how do i use regular soap????) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(but i love the frozen crunchy-ness) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(...i wonder what happens XD) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."(i thought it was gonna be cold! isn't that what heating is?) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."(but its quicker!) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."(we'd be so much safer if them damn 9 year olds stayed off the road!) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."(I hope so!) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."(as opposed to space) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."(oh i know the other use...the killing people use...right?) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."(damn it! why would you put nuts in peanuts???) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(what if i wanna eat the nuts before opening the packet?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(damn i hought i'd really be superman) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."(but its the most convenient way!) tHINGS MOTHER TAUGHT ME :p 1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. To Every Girl: To every girl that is SCARED to To every girl that has been To every girl that To every girl who To every girl that will spend her To every girl who gets her heart To every girl that would die To every girl who would just once To every girl that cries at night To every girl that won't get To every girl that To every girl that To every girl who To every girl who would just To every girl who To every girl who lies To every girl that To every girl that To every girl who shows how much To every girl that thought To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff To every girl who is just To every girl that doesn't want To every girl who wants To every girl that fell for all the lies To every girl that gave her heart away To every girl that has faith that If you are a nice girl put this on you profile under the title : "To every girl." -If You Live In America, you post this Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there but these are very true) 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb a$%?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run b$%& run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! we messed up!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds a#$ that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!" FRIENDS: Would read & ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this s@#$! If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name Shorty/Kris KG/Lizzy Wisegirl101/Lindsay WiseOne27 SeaweedBrain013/Sebz CloudyAlore/Faye XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells xXthe shadow huntressxX annapercy1 Hula The New Ace of Spies 7Cerberus7 Storyteller-221/Kali Lennor AthenaPersephone14 Laserfire JBaddict1234 SeaweedGirl1 Goddess of Discord and Cookies/Kristen Flowers of Artemis |
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