Salutations. I'm Astarael's Get, but I'm sure I won't mind you calling me Aster if you want. I'm seventeen, I live in the UK, and I love to write. I'm a complete perfectionist, so you shouldn't worry if I keep editing my stories... I like to reread them now and again. I always find mistakes. I'm the sort of person who would lie awake all night because she misspelled someone's name. And so I'm sorry if updates are really weird, like three chapters in one day or none for a hideously long period of time.

And I'm a girl, in case you were wondering. I do get confused for a boy sometimes, but I can assure you, I'm female. At least, I was last time I looked.

I've got about a million stories on the go right now, for about a million different things. The range of movies, cartoons, books, anime and manga that I like is pretty wide; I like everything from Dragonball Z and Yu-Gi-Oh to Final Fantasy and Golden Sun, to the Old Kingdom Trilogy and Harry Potter and even the Famous Five.

I also like both ninjas and pirates. I'm a ninja most of the time but on certain days of the week and when I'm feeling particularly in the mood for rum, I turn into a pirate. Yep, I'm a shapeshifter.

Oh, and if I up and try to kill you with a paper aeroplane, feel free to knock me out. Just don't expect me to remember it afterwards.

And all my muses have names. Problem? Deal with it.

Works in Progress

Note: Truth is, for most of these (and some of the ones I haven't posted, as well), I have various chapters floating around my notebooks that simply need typing up when I have the time. Updates, as usual, will be lamely slow TTTT I'm sorry. I have a truckload of homework now I'm starting A-levels... Ugh. At the moment, Drunken Uchiha Incident is the one I'll probably be updating most, because I'm in the mood for some Karin-bashing. Killerbee, we love you~

My Crazy Deadline: This is fun to write, but little Eve doesn't seem to want to do anything at the moment- I think she may be sulking. I write more for this one every time I'm stressed, so if it gets updated you know I'm cheering myself up and probably eating a cookie as well.

Leader's Towel: Also known as We Eat Babies. A work in progress, my friend, a definite work in progress. At the moment I'm writing chapters and leaving them a week or two, then reading them again to find the mistakes- think of it as beta-ing my own story. But I love it, and I'll stick chapters up when I'm happy with them.

Insanity is a Birth Defect: Also known as A Story of Childhood. It has begun... with a very short first chapter. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you! I will! With an extra long next chapter! Though it may take quite a while to write. This is Rei, Tei and Anno's childhood in Konoha. Just for those who want a little backstory for our favourite psychopathic idiots.

Gender Issues: Also known as They Said I'd Grow Out Of It. Tobi's going through puberty a little late, and he's decided that he wants to be a girl. It also seems that several of the Akatsuki have never been given the 'Birds and the Bees' talk... Rei takes it upon herself to amend this. Hilarity (and unimaginable chaos) ensues. Also, Deidara recalls falling down a hole.

Caffeine is a Drug: Also known as Leader's Not-So-Bright Idea. I absolutely love this story. I'll try to update it real soon, I will. It's got everything- coffee, alcohol, mad grandparents, long-lost illegitimate love children, Uchiha issues, a raccoon, Crazy Blondes one through seven... At least I think it's seven... Anyway, I think the only thing it hasn't got is a kangaroo. Though I could probably get one in there if I tried.

The Drunken Uchiha Incident: Also known as Do You Think He's Compensating For Something? Hoorah! Well, finally a story that features a non-Akatsuki as a main character. It's our favourite emo, getting real drunk. And what's that Karin has in her bag? Oh dear. This is not going to end well. For her, at least. Ahaha. Sasuke is confused at Itachi's... brotherly-ness. This is called taking canon material and stretching it to the extreme, people.

Christmas Special: The Underwear Monster: Do you love it? Do you hate it? Kakuzu doesn't know what to give people for Christmas without spending money... so he distracts them with an extremely embarrassing gift. Yeah! Merry Non-Denominational Midwinter Festival/Christmas/Yule/Whatever Festival You Celebrate At This Time, everyone! May Xox bless us all!

A Day In The Life: A oneshot challenge for the weekend. I felt that Rimu didn't get any attention, so here you are. Yes. He really is that much of an asshole. There's a Sai-shot for this one in the works too, but I'm not sure how to finish it.

Future Works

Gender Issues: Also known as They Said I'd Grow Out Of It. Tobi's going through puberty a little late, and he's decided that he wants to be a girl. It also seems that several of the Akatsuki have never been given the 'Birds and the Bees' talk... Rei takes it upon herself to amend this. Hilarity (and unimaginable chaos) ensues. Also, Deidara recalls falling down a hole. I have the first chapter of this written, but I'm feeling that it has far too much Leader-bashing in it... is that okay? Tell me in a PM?

Shoulda Seen That Coming: Also known as My God, It's Human. This one deals with Rei and Tei joining Akatsuki, and their reactions to each member, their new home, and their new jobs. Also, the first time Tei makes Leader MAD, and the truth of Tobi's room. This one has to follow straight on from a story of Lady Lilliana's, so you have to read that one first- when she's finished it.

Tobi's Puppy: Also known as Can I Keep Her? Oh dear. Tobi's found a puppy. He names her Waffles. And she fits in well- she's just as crazy as the rest of the Akatsuki. Tobi, Rei and Tei have their jobs cut out for them keeping Waffles safe from her new family. But what's this? An ally in... LEADER?! This story has to wait until I've written all the others. Lilly said so. TT-TT

The Quotes of Awesome (More to come)

'Harry took a deep breath. “Snape killed Dumbledore.”

“WHAT?”

“Yeah. He couldn’t handle The Circle of Love. So then he became Headmaster, and now… well now he thinks he’s Hitler.”

Ron scratched his chin. “I see… And people called ME crazy.”

“You tried to kill Pansy Parkinson with a stick of celery.”

“Hmmm. Celery or Hitler. WHICH IS WORSE, HARRY?”' How Hogwarts Destroyed Music, Twonk

'.:Your moments of intelligence are so elusive that even I have trouble predicting them:. ' Harry Potter and the Dream Come True, grand admiral chelli

“Bugger,” Harry said. “I knew beating the crap out of him in public was going to come around to bite me in the ass.” A Black Comedy, nonjon