Name: Simba (although I used to be known as Gwen(dolyn) Evans Shiz)

Age: 17

From: England

Living now: in Texas (in the US)

Hair: short, spiky, red

eyes: green with gold specks (opposite of hazle basically. lol)

Height: 5 ft 2 for you americans

Who I look like according to my friends: I look like either Lily Evans, or more popularly, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen from Twilight except with red hair and human eyes (I'm even pale like her)

Fav books: Harry Potter, Twilight series, Morganville vampire series, Kissed by an Angle, Guitar Girl, Jodi Picoult, The Notebook...

Fav colour: purple and black. and red plaid

Meet my muses:
One of them is a tall 17 year old boy with messy jet black hair and square framed glasses. He's bi (he told me once), but he gives me my best ideas. He reminds me of one of my best guy friends. His name is Rycki
Another one is a little 12 year old with blonde ringlets. She always asks me in this sweet little voice to tell her stories and they just appear in my head. Her name is Heidi.
Then, there is this girl that ages with me and she won't shut up until I write what she's saying. She gets annoying, but she gets the job done. She has short, spiky, red hair (like me) and bright green eyes. She's short and her name is Chrys, short for Chrysanthemum.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

Girl: She gives him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.

Interesting Tidbits

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future

Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

I remember doing almost all of these lol

If your parents or anyone else roll there eyes at you when you relate anything to Twilight, copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you are so obsessed with the series you can practically quote parts of the book (or chapters), copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your asses off.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever said something twice, and when someone said something, you had no recollection of saying it either time, copy and paste to your profile.

If you have ever asked the same question 3 times in 5 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile.

Don't forget to add to this, cause if you think about it, its loads of fun.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

I'm bored...If you’re bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...Signs you live in 2008

1. You are on your computer everyday

2. You are more inside, than out.

4. You are on this site often.

5. As you read this, you keep nodding and smiling.

6. You were too busy, reading, nodding, and of course smiling, that you didn't notice there wasn't a number three.

7. You looked back to see if there was a number three.

8. You feel a bit stupid.

9. You think this is funny.

10. You want to copy this in your profile, right now - feel free.

98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONEThings I learned from Twilight!

1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and saefest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Grand Theft Auto is bad...unless its a porche
31. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

My Top Ten Favorite Harry Potter Characters (in no specific order)

1. James Potter

2. Lily Evans

3. Sirius Black

4. Remus Lupin

5. Ron Weasley

6. Aberforth Dumbledore

7. Godric Gryffindor

8. Salazar Slytherin

9. Alice Longbottom

10. Mary MacDonald

1. Have you read a five/ten fic before?
Ron Weasley/Mary MacDonald? Can’t say I have

2. Do you think three is hot? How hot?
Sirius Black. He’s way hot, but not as hot as James Potter.

3. What would happen if six got one pregnant?
Aberforth got James pregnate? We’d live in a very odd world.

4. Do you recall any good fics about nine?
Alice Longbottom? There’s some good ones with her and Frank being a side story in a Lily/James story, I can’t recall the titles though...

5. Would seven and two make a good couple?
Godric Gryffindor and Lily Evans? If we go into a realm where they’re the same age I guess they might... I don’t know, I’m more of a Godric/Salazar person myself (I read a really good fic about them and a shag rug the other day...)

6. Four/eight or four/nine?
Remus/Salazar or Remus/Alice? I’d pick Remus/Salazar

7. What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?
Godric discovered Sirius and Salazar in a secret relationship? Let’s revisit that realm where they’re the same age. Godric would be devastated.

8. Make a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic.
Lily/Aberforth? Um... “Lily visits the Hogs Head and finds comfort from an unexpected source, Albus’ brother, Aberforth. Why’s Lily in the Hogs Head and how does Aberforth help her through whatever it is she’s going through?”

9. Is there a such thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?
Remus Lupin/Mary MacDonald romantic fluff? Most likely, but I’m a Remus/Sirius shipper personally.

10. Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.
A James/Ron Hurt/Comfort fic? Uh... “Pain in Heaven”

11. What kind of plot would you use if four wanted to seduce one?
If Remus wanted to seduce James? (Don’t fret, I’ve seen it done before in fics. There’s some pretty good Remus/James stories out there that I’ve read. Don’t knock it ‘till you try it) Remus would probably use some plot where he was trying to make Sirius jealous and James was trying to make Lily jealous... How James’d get Lily by going out with Remus beats me, but oh well.

12. Does anyone on your friends list read number seven/nine slash?
Godric/Alice slash? Um male/female slash? Let me know how that works out and I’ll let you know.

13. If you wrote a songfic about number ten, what song would you chose?
A songfic about Mary Macdonald? Um, I’d pick My World by Avril Lavigne

14. If you wrote a two/three/six fic, what would the warning be?
Lily/Sirius/Aberforth? Warning: Lots of drunken fun! Yeah baby!!

15. What pick-up line might eight use on five?
Salazar Slytherin use on Ron Weasley? “Join the dark side... We’ve got cookies!!” (Which could so totally be a pick up line)

16. Challenge: Write a drabblefic for ten/eight.
Mary MacDonald and Salazar Slytherin? Um okay...

Background: Let’s pretend that the Dark Magic that was used on Mary caused her to go back in time for a while... Back to the Founders time. The first person Mary encounters is Salazar. Here’s the encounter.

“Hello there dear. What are you doing here? You don’t look to familiar,” Salazar said to Mary.
“I don’t know why I’m here. I just remember being hit by a some Dar... Are you Salazar Slytherin? Founder of Slytherin house at Hogwarts? Because you look like him...” Mary commented.
“Who else would I be? Of course I’m Salazar Slytherin. Although I don’t know what you’re talking about with this Hogwarts. I’ve never heard of it, let alone, what did you say? Founded a house in it,” Salazar remarked.
“Oh... How old are you?” Mary questioned.
“Twenty,” Salazar answered.
“Oh, Hogwarts hasn’t been founded yet. Wait! What the hell happend to me then??” Mary realized, starting to freak out.
“Come to my house and I’ll help you figure out what happened and how to send you back to wherever you came from,” Salazar said, being helpfull.

“Mary! Mary! Wake up Mary!” Lily screamed. Slowly, Mary opened her eyes. With the help of Salazar Slytherin, she’d returned to the right time period. And Salazar, with the help from Mary MacDonald, knew that he’d be great on day and was always looking out for people by the name of Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, and Rowena Ravenclaw so they could form Brittan’s greatest wizardry school.

-Fin-

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

Mary had a pocket watch

She swolled it one day

The dr gave her casteroil

To pass the time away

The casteroil did now work,

The time it did not pass

But if you need to know the time of day

Just look up Mary’s uncle, he has a pocket watch too!

The boyfriend I want...

When you break her heart=== the pain NEVER really goes away

WHEN SHE MISSES YOU=== SHES HURTING INSIDE

When she says its over=== she STILL wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin=== she wants you to read it

When she walks away from you mad=== Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth=== Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you=== Grab her and don’t let go

When she start's cursing at you=== Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet=== Ask her what’s wrong

When she ignore's you=== Give her your attention

When she pulls away== Pull her back

When you see her at her worst=== Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying==Just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking== Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared=== Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder=== Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat== Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you=== Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time=== reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt== Back yourself up with the TRUTH

When she say's that she like's you== she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands=== Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you=== bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret=== keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes=== don’t look away until she does

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
- DON'T let her have the last word
- call her hot BUT Gorgeous or beautiful is soo much better
- Say you love her more than she could ever love you
- Argue that she is the best girl ever
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don’t believe it, talk with her
- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you
- Tease her and let her tease you back
-Stay up all night with her when she's sick
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
- Give her the world
- Let her wear your clothes
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
- Let her know she's important
- Kiss her in the pouring rain
- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

Some good Christian humor...

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that god damned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

God saw he was getting tired and
the cure was not to be. So He put
his arms around him and
whispered
"Come with me"
With tearful hearts we watched
him fade away. Althought we
loved him dearly, we could not
make him stay. A golden heart
stopped beating, hard working
hands to rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to
us,
He only takes the best.

"How Do You Live Your Dash"

I read of a man, who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on his tombstone
from the beginning to the end.
He notes that first came the date of birth,
and spoke the following date with tears.
But he said what matters most of all,
was the DASH between those years. (1954-2009)
For that DASH represents all the time
that he spent alive on Earth.
And now only those who loved him
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own;
the cars... the house... the cash.
What matters is how we LIVE and LOVE,
and how we spend out DASH.
So think about this long and hard;
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
That can still be rearranged.
If we can just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real;
and always try to understand the way other people feel.
Be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more.
And love the people in our lives like we never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special DASH
might only last a little while.
So, when your Eulogy's being read with your life actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your DASH!

In loving memory of

Thomas Joe Cleaver
November 23, 1954 - January 15, 2009