RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!That is my battle cry. I use it often.

I am a grey wolf living with a small pack in a magical forest at the summit of Mount Olympus. If I concentrate hard enough, I can turn into a rainbow coloured, but mainly purple, butterfly. In my spare time, I mostly occupy myself hiding in peoples' wheely bins and shouting "WALRUS!" at them when they least expect it. Every Friday 13th, I feast on walnuts and sugar cubes in order to appease the evil spirits and thereby protect myself from them. Sometimes I stand out in the street with a torch on my head to see what it would be like if I was a streetlight. I have never served salad to a person named George. In fact, I have never served salad to anyone. I have only ever metaphorically riden a bicycle.

For religious reasons, I do not believe in god. I am not particularly keen on picnic benches. I do not understand rollerskates. My greatest aspiration is to one day become a ninja pirate. Speling mustakes infureate mee. Me can't not stand no bad grammar. I have forgotten what I wanted to write here. I do not believe in the laws of physics and therefore they do not apply to me. I stay on the ground because I choose to, not because of gravity. I believe in a thing called love. Just listen to the rythem of my heart. There's a chance we could make it now. We'll be rockin' till the sun goes down. I believe in a thing caaaaled LOOOOOOooooOOOve!

I am the hallucination of a child named Jimothy Doublebarrelled-Surname.

Weasel.

Cheese mights fear my presence. I once made an onion cry. I think "Steven" is a nice name. Some people disagree with me. Some agree with me. I am one of the latter. I like castles but I do not like uneven shrubberies. I am allergic to Mondays-they give me headaches. The very idea of gorgonzola makes my stomache turn-not because I dislike the taste or the smell, but because I find it morally disgusting. I always chuckle at the idea of a guerrilla gorrilla. Hahaha. I am often, but not always, seen with a 5 inch long, 1 inch thick plank of wood who goes by the name of Sir Reginold G'ffawsworthy-Trumpettington-Smithe. I rarely give bagels a second thought. Armchairs...I find rather comforting...and I don't like tea...

Well, I think you know quite enough about me now. Good day.