Author has written 1 story for X-overs. like: reading, watching tv, and obviously writing hate: waking up early, commercials, and waiting for something to come out Favorite movies:iron man 3, man of steel, captain america, green lantern, the amazing spider man, Favorite books are the Heroes of olympus series as well as the Percy Jackson series's. Airman. Harry Potter. people Youtubers like Skydoesminecraft,Cavemanfilms,Antvenom, Pewdiepie,ThatGuyBarney,JinBop, And Minecraft Universe. i am insane the fun kind through. i am constantly hungry I hate anybody who can eat a lot of food yet stays skinny i like to read anything about mysteries and mythology. i like to think what it would be like if the mythological gods where real. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. (my favorite)My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."(so, not eating your veggies makes you young forever? I FOUND THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH! 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. GOD IS LOVE If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Six Truths in Life 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical imposibility 2. All idiots, after reading this will try it 3. And discover that it's a lie 4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot. 5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see. 6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. HOW TO BE AWESOME: 1. Be yourself 2. Do the impossible 3. Ignore step 2. Do the possible 4. Ignore step 3. Do the imposimpible. 5. Do amazing things 6. BE AWESOME!!! Anybody who does not be awesome has no life. Favorite jokes (especially Chuck Norris Jokes XD): Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted. Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom. (Favorite) Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just too afraid to move. Ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories. Chuck Norris has already been to mars; that's why there are no signs of life. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience. Chuck Norris went into a maze... the maze got lost. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are know today as giraffes. Chuck Norris couldn't go to school because he was considered as a weapon. A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love Colored or Not? A black man walks into a café one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, “Colored people are not allowed here.” The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: “When I was born I was black,” “When I grew up I was black,” “When I’m sick I’m black,” “When I go in the sun I’m black,” “When I’m cold I’m black,” “When I die I’ll be black.” “But you sir…” “When you’re born you’re pink,” “When you grow up you’re white,” “When you’re sick, you’re green,” “When you go in the sun you turn red,” “When you’re cold you turn blue,” “And when you die you turn purple.” “And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!” The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away… Pass this on and help erase racism! (Erasism.) You squeeze a lemon, you get lemon juice. You squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. So how come when you squeeze a cow, you get milk??? COW JUICE, PEOPLE!!! How to tell a real friend from a fake friend: FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. (Where's 8? 0.0) 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go. 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity... Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. Things to do when you're in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay buy. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!" Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no army, yet kings feared him... PJO Fans/ Normal people! NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: On a bad day will say "Today is just not my day." PJO FANS: will say "The Gods Hate Me! NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile! Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When… -You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor. -There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!” -Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes. -When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses. -You burn food to see if it smells good. -You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!” -Everyone else is creating a Twilightfamily and you create a PJO family. -You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda… -You sometimes try to control water. -You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months. -You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address. -Even though notdiagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent. -You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat. -You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games. -Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt. -You are a PJO character for Halloween. -Recite lines randomly from the books. -When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.(all the time!) -Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related. -You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol. -You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you. -You have dreams about PJO characters/events -You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket. -That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword. -In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!" -You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?" -When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!" -You are known to scream names of the characters at random times. -You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of emergencies -And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth. -You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer. -You give all your siblings god parents -You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians. -You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win. -You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site. -You still think Thuke could happen. You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head (PERCABETH!!) You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, tLO PJO and use it in conversations. You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?" The Lightning Thief Prophecy: You shall go west and face the god who has turned. You shall find what was stolen and see it safely returned. You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend. And you shall fail to save what matters most, in the end. The Sea of Monsters Prophecy: You shall sail the iron ship with warriors of bone, You shall find what you seek and make it your own, But despair for your life entombed within stone, And fail without friends, to fly home alone. The Titan's Curse Prophecy: Five shall go west to the goddess in chains, One shall be lost in the land without rain, The bane of Olympus shows the trail, Campers and Hunters combined prevail, The titan's curse must one withstand, And one shall perish by a parent's hand. The Battle of the Labyrinth Prophecy: You shall delve in the darkness of the endless maze, The dead, the traitor, the lost one shall rise. You shall rise or fall by the ghost king's hand, The child of Athena's final stand. Destroy with the hero's last breath, And lose a love to worse than death. THE GREAT PROPHECY: A half-blood of the eldest gods, Shall reach sixteen against all odds. And see the world in endless sleep, The hero's soul, cursed blade shall reap. A single choice shall end his days. Olympus to preserve or raze. THE NEXT GREAT PROPHECY: Seven half-bloods shall answer the call. To storm or fire, the world must fall. An oath to keep with a final breath, And foes bear arms to the Doors of Death. Friend: Will bail me out of jail Best friend: Would be in the room next to me saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!! Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks up with me Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost Friend: Will help me learn to drive Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Friend: Will go to a concert with me Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks my heart Friend: Calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. Friend: Has never seen you cry Friend: Never asks for anything to eat or drink Friend: Asks you to write down your number. Friend: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back Friend: Only knows a few things about you Friend: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing Friend: Will help you find your prince. Friend: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. Friend: Will offer you a soda. Friend: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. Friend: Will give you their umbrella in the rain. Friend: Will help you move. Friend: Will console you when you house catches on fire. Friend: Will ask why you're crying. Friend: Will tell you she knows how you feel. Friend: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. Friend: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. Friend: Will never ask for food. Friend: Will knock on your front door. Friend: Will say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. Friend: Will say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. Friend: Hides me from the cops Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Don't upset me, i'm running out of places to hide the bodies. Be optimistic, someday everyone you hate are going to die. Sometimes i lay awake at night and ask "Where have i gone wrong?" and a little voice in my head says "This is gonna take more than one night." The buddy system is essential to survive, it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. Forgive your enemies, it messes with their heads. 9 out of the 10 voices in my head agree that I'm sane. I'm not afraid of death, what's it gonna do? Kill me? Boys are like slinky's, useless but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I used to have super powers but then my therapist took them away. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. Go to hell!" "Been there, done that, got bored, bought a t-shirt, came back. When I argue with myself it's normal. It's when I argue with myself and I LOSE that it's weird. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. It is surprising that history should be so dull considering that so much of it is invented. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Heaven kicked me out. Hell is afraid I'll take over. (Someone boring talking to you) "Hold that thought, I need to do something" walk over and stare at a wall "yup, a lot more interesting" I used to think that the whole world was against me. Now I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. "If there's a light at the end of the tunnel it's the oncoming train" "Whoever said that words don’t hurt, never got hit by a dictionary." Parents spend the first half of your life teaching you to walk and talk, and the other half telling you to sit down and shut up. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh harder. People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. 'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is. Don’t steal, the government hates competition. Your village called, their idiot is missing An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work. If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried. This isn't school! This is Hell with fluorescent lighting. If con is the opposite of pro, tell me, what is the opposite of progress? I'm never wrong. Once, I thought I was, but I was mistaken. If it wasn’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. If you hate someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way you are a mile away from them AND you have their shoes. Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you throw it hard enough. Whoever said, "Nothing is impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door. You are an asset, when you’re not being a pain in the asset. Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish. You can have as many friends that money can buy, but I’ll still hate you for free. I never apologize. I’m sorry, that’s just the way I am. The following statement is true. The previous statement is false. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life. If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing. I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. When butterflies fall in love do they feel humans in their stomachs? Me? Fail English!? … That’s unpossible! I wonder if people wonder what I wonder, because I wonder what people wonder. Do YOU wonder what I wonder? Now THAT is what I wonder. I wonder what you’re wondering as you wonder what I wonder, if of course you’re even wondering what I’m wondering… I wonder... I ate my homework cos my teacher said it was a piece of cake. – she lied. If all the world's a stage... where the heck is the audience sitting?? Don’t expect the unexpected unless the unexpected expects you. I am a member of NAPWDLA…National Association of People Who Don’t Like Abbreviations There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity… I like to jump rope with that line. In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. The rest was made in China. I am never serious. Seriously. A message to LIFE: Please stop giving me lemons, can I have some chocolate now? I don’t walk away from fights, I prefer running. Many of us have sought the meaning of life. Fortunately it’s out on DVD now. I’m always right… except when I’m wrong. It’s bad luck to be superstitious. Excuse me, but do these stairs go up? Traffic is moving at a standstill. I have multiple personalities, and so do I. I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me. Wait. I always lie. Trust me. To kill a mocking bird. Now that’s one less bird that will wake you up, with it’s chirping. If aliens come down to earth looking for intelligent life. Wrong planet. Sorry. If life gives you lemons, say, “Great! I love lemons! What else ya got?” Who’s stupid, the stupid that called the stupid, stupid, or the stupid who was called stupid by the stupid? HEY CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THE CAPS LOCK KEY IS FOR. Why can’t I get any soup with this fork? Today, I took an elevator up from the top floor to the basement. It was up-lift-ing. The is a thin line between a stupid and a fool. I’m on a quest to discover whether it was an idiot or a fool who erased it. We cannot give you the weather today because we depend on weather reports from the airport which is shut due to weather conditions. We might be able to give you a weather report tomorrow depending on the weather. A day without sunshine is, like night. People always say you can be who you wanna be but I can never be a giraffe. Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you’d better set off a few minutes earlier. "What color was Napoleon’s white horse?" "Uh, I dunno… Black?" As a girl was looking at a poodle, she said “Whoa! it’s a sheep!” 7 Ways to Scare your roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." |
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