Odd pairings. Whimsical humour. Somewhat disturbing scenarios. It's what you'll find here in this collection of crack drabbles.

A kinkmeme request where all the part members are transformed leaving Anders to pick up the pieces and hairballs.

Wheatley is finally out of the picture, but that's the least of GLaDOS' worries. Alternate ending to Portal 2

Some people are stronger than others. Chell is the strongest person Wheatley had ever met. But everyone has their breaking point sometime- Chell had hers only once, and Wheatley was there to help her through it. Mute!Chell, Android!Wheatley. Oneshot.

ItaOC: "The fact that I couldn't do anything about it made me feel like all the studying and training I went through was for nothing. How could I be as smart as everyone said I was if I couldn't even figure out how to make one man happy?"

Kinzie likes to think she knows everything about the people she works with, but one day she realizes that she has no idea what The Boss's real name is. Oneshot, Fem boss, implied Boss/Gat stuff. This is what my life has come to.

Once again, Molly is lying unconscious in the infirmary of her boyfriend the good doctor Jin, and he can't figure out why she's exerting herself so much recently. Maybe a dig through her rucksack will give him a clue...

You've met The Batman five times in your life. You still don't know what to make of him.

You are Marian Hawke. You are Champion of Kirkwall. You are hero, friend, and confidant. You are a force to be reckoned with. You are not human, and have no need of silly human things, like emotion. You are strong, you are witty, you are utterly gorgeous. And you are alone. Angsty oneshot with the barest hint of romance. Fem!HawkeXAnders.

Hawke has a secret hobby - she is an artist. She draws all the things that are most important to her, immortalising her memories. One evening at her mansion, Fenris finds the pictures she has drawn of him, and sees himself through her eyes. Romanced Fenris, fluff, this is a short piece, almost a drabble, but I felt it was enough. Bioware owns everything, I play in the sandbox.

A relationship built over a cup of coffee is one you will find yourself cherishing for the rest of your life, and the conversations you'll have can change your life. ItachixOC and set in Au. Make me a inspired writer and review please!

"In life we're promised sufferings. It's choosing whether or not to stay bound by them that defines us." Oneshot about Soseki's mysterious reasons for moving to the quiet Echo Village.

A collection of letters exchanged by Farkas and the Dragonborn throughout their relationship as they make their way through hard times, adventure, and love. Warning: Fluffiness!

Chase challenges his wife Molly to a game. When she wins, she makes him do something utterly humiliating... but you know, that's what you get when you lose, right? Chase x Molly one-shot. Rated T for cursing and an...interesting dare.

Lydia finds her Thane's husband's presence to be hindering her duties. - Dragonborn/Farkas

Susan creaked up the stairs with a burlap bag slung over her shoulder. She headed to the sitting room where Fenris usually slept and eased open the door. He lay slumped over a table with a wine bottle loose in his grip. He looked to be asleep. Time to change that. OLD WORK.

Hawke never listened to her companions when they traveled, choosing to ignore what they spoke about, however one conversation between Isabela and Anders sparked a little bit of curiosity. SebXFHawkeXFen; One-shot

After an evening spent with Carver in his quarters with the Templars, Hawke has a chance encounter with the Knight-Commander herself while heading home.

It's not as if she didn't try, but there is a reason Hawke doesn't date. Actually, there are seven of them.

It's not everyday that a King asks you to do him a favour, it's even less often that said King wants you to risk your life because of a hunch... in the Deep Roads. How will Hawke cope with someone even more sarcastic than her? And how will Fenris cope with a royal rival? Set in Dragon Age 2. Fenris/Hawke Alistair/Hawke. My first fanfic- please read! -COMPLETE-

After Matt Miller's resignation from The Syndicate, the Boss runs into the genius hacker at a clothing store. fem!Boss/Matt. Oneshot.

Kaoru is always thinking to himself. Kyouya is sometimes scary. Hikaru is irritated. Haruhi is his trainer? [KyouyaKaoru and HikaruHaruhi]

The first time it happens, Lucy's foolishly shrugged it off, assuming it was only a dream, which was kind of stupid, considering she wasn't even sitting or laying anywhere when it happened. Loki/OFC

One shot created for a friend. Fenris saves Hawke when she is ambushed at her home. While caring for her, he comes to terms with his feelings for the mage that stole his heart.

Angela embodies everything Gill hates: laziness, irresponsibility, and an overall lack of interest in the profit loss of her idle actions. He decides to motivate her to take some action by offering her a job at the Town Hall, but she manages to motivate him as well.

Hawke tries to teach Fenris to read. Emphasis on 'tries'.

Post-Movie. A strange pink haired woman lands on Tony's car while a new, seemingly unbeatable villain arises that makes the Avengers think they have met their match. What they don't know is that all the chaos is only getting started. Bruce/OC

A one shot story, of a fun filled night at the Hanged Man. Filled with giggles and fun, and drinking... lots of drinking. Strip Wicked Grace anyone? F!Hawke/Fenris. M just to be on the safe side but no smut as such.

Wizard asked Molly to help him find his crystal ball. When she suspects Jake is using it, she takes matters into her own hands. Big mistake. WizardxMolly

Alistair is an outcast, having escaped to Kirkwall after the death of his beloved Natia Brosca. He's a drunk, at the will of his emotions and to put it bluntly, a sodding mess. Hawke isn't about to let him drown, however, even if that means diving into the drink with him. One-shot - Complete.

He expected her to crumble. Looking back, he thinks that was the moment where his game went all wrong. A more subtle, realistic take on a Loki/OC fic. Oneshot.

Anders is trying to write to the Warden during some slow time at the Clinic. However, he's finding this very difficult - what with Justice interrupting every five seconds or so. That is, until he gets a very unexpected and helpful visitor... Should be rather funny, with some dramatic hints! Contains an OC, but don't be scared - you'll like him. One-Shot!

He was good at pulling strings behind the scenes, making a problem go away by paying off the right people or killing off the wrong ones. But in this situation, where all the worst offenders were already killed and no amount of bribery or blackmail could bring a dead mother back to the realm of the living, Varric Tethras was out of his element. AU Hawke/Varric romance suggested

Adena Philips' new job is to help Steve Rogers get back into the world. Unfortunately, Loki's arrival on Earth shakes things up, and poor Adena manages to catch the disgraced Asgardian's unwanted attention. Set before/during The Avengers.

Just a little cutesy story I wrote about Hawke and Anders oneshot . Anders plans of cleaning the clinic are ruined when Merrill comes bursting in. It seems Hawke and the other companions had a few too many drinks at the Hanged Man...

Lassiter finds a pretty little lady when he responds to a call while off duty. But he may get more than he bargained for.

Hawke is used to a life on the run. Maybe that's why she's so drawn to a certain elf from Tevinter? F!Hawke/Fenris.

"Tony Stark would never be loved." Once upon a time, the big man in a suit of armor was nothing more than a child who just wanted his father to love him. :: Childhood!Tony, and angst.

The Boss was terribly bored. Johnny had left her waiting at a bar. Surely there was no harm in accepting a glass of champagne from an almost likeable masked wrestler? *Mild Boss/Killbane. Set between SR2 and SRtT*

Shawn shows up at a crime scene and something isn't right. Where's Lassie and why does everyone insist that they've never even heard of him? Is Gus playing the worst prank in history, or is there something in Lassiter's past that has gone seriously wrong?

Varric finds himself oddly tongue-tied around Hawke. She seems oblivious, though, and he's certain he doesn't have a shot with her. Isabela slips in to play unwelcome matchmaker.

Hawke goes to visit Fenris to give him a gift she found in the Elven Alienage, and stumbles in to find a sight she never expected to see. F!Hake X Fenris, Act II, Friendship Romance

If he'd been thinking straight, Fenris would never have agreed to come to this Maker-forsaken party. But he seemed to be particularly bad at thinking these days, especially where Marian Hawke was concerned.

Hawke and Fenris finally talk about that night three years ago. And, maybe, make up for some lost time. Marian Hawke X Fenris

Isabela enlists Merrill to do a little spy work for her. Hawke is not impressed. FemHawke/Varric. Rated for language and mention of sexytimes.

Fenris takes the time to mull over his relationship with Hawke while she is away. Drabble.

"He must have put some sort of mind-control device in my food to make me willingly accept to learn how to swim in the Death Pool. Or maybe it was because I wanted him to stop calling me a wuss."

On the run and split up from the party, Varric and Hawke get closer now that Anders is out of the way. Varric/FemHawke

When Marian and Fenris meet for the first time, it's like something out ofa romance novel.

Who knew that Hawke spent her downtime telling "Fairy Tales" to the children in the Alienage. Varric did. And now Fenris will hear her most popular story - one that sounds a little too familiar...

Howard hand't come out of his workshop in two days, Maria decides is time to go get him.

After fleeing Kirkwall, Hawke and Isabela run into a spot of trouble as they try to escape to Ferelden. A sequel to "I'm Your Captain." FemHawke/Isabela, one-shot.

The Crimson Alchemist smiled at her sweetly. "Oh dear, Argurion, is this tent yours? They do all look so alike." Blue eyes bored into amber as Phoenix glared at him. "Then paint yours red, Kimblee, but stop coming in here without an invitation." -K/OC-

Maria Returned home from a charity event to find Howard doing something unusual.

An old book of fairy tales holds more magic than expected, and Fenris finds himself caring for a six-year-old Hawke. Words have power, and not all the old stories are safe. Hawke/Fenris, complete.

Hawke stayed away from Varric's card games for a reason. Neither likes to back down, and when it comes time to put her money where her mouth is, he doesn't show any mercy. Especially when it could lead to a fantastic story. F!Hawke/Arishok.

Harumi and Itachi were once friends. When Harumi returns from the Rain village as she does each summer, she soon hears the rumours of the Uchiha clans' massacre and that Itachi is responsible. Can love really transcend time? ITACHIxOC One-shot.

Vaughn has been trying to move the stupid horse for hours, but to no avail. Chelsea sees his lack of success as an opportunity to give him a quick, much needed lesson in positive thinking.

Molly takes the opportunity to read Gill's diary. Little does she know that Gill writes about more than what she expected. Molly x Gill one-shot!

It has been nearly a decade since she last captained a ship. Now, with the need to evacuate Kirkwall in a hurry, Isabela wonders if she still has what it takes to lead. One-shot, FemHawke/Isabela.

Logan was busy. Mummy and daddy were busy. Reaver was asleep. He seemed the safest bet to Tallusa...

It took me five minutes to become friends with Buzz McNab, but it took me seventeen years to give him the respect he deserves.

CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own KAORU HITACHIIN unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your KAORU HITACHIIN unit as possible.

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She knew better than to get close to the most immodest man in all of Albion, but she did just that and came to realize that she wanted more, much more than this man with benefits could ever seem to offer.

Lassiter contemplates his old partner, his new partner and the desk across from him.

Hinata finds a diary in an old tree and the author is claiming to be the founding Hyuuga. As she reads she learns of an amazing leader, lover and fighter. She would read it in peace expect that a certain blonde someone has interest in it.

CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own TAKASHI MORINOZUKA unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your TAKASHI MORINOZUKA unit as possible.

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Sequel to 'Freelance Mage'. Taking it slow should never mean to be this slow. f!Hawke x Merrill

CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own KYOYA OOTORI unit. This manual was made to ensure that you, the user, could get as much potential from your KYOYA OOTORI unit as possible.

One of the small misadventures of the Hawke household. Hawke's reluctant hound needs a bath, and Fenris is recruited to help. Their reading session isn't playing out quite the way he'd envisioned...

Lady Hawke has magic, and is not afraid to use it. A poor matchmaker though. f!Hawke x Merrill!

His life was missing something, so he carelessly walks around the roads of Konoha looking for it. But it's difficult to look for something when you don't know what it is, but she made it easy for him. ONE SHOT.

A parody of all Akatsuki Yaoi themed fanfiction. It just seems to be the same thing over and over again. WARNING: I SAID YAOI THEMED!

When a strange letter shows up inviting Hawke to the Black Emporium, silliness ensues.

Struggling through the crowded streets of Lowtown, Anders and Hawke take some time to get out of the blistering heat to contemplate and reflect. Suggestive themes present. F!Hawke/Anders.

Brimming with the heart of a hero, Chelsea is a self-proclaimed ally of justice. When she makes a horrific discovery, she makes it her priority to keep Sabrina away from Vaughn, all for the sake of justice. Go forth, Chelsea!

Thank you for ordering our DEIDARA unit! We hope your purchase ends with a bang.

While eavesdropping on the girls, Denny learns about the unexpected visit Vaughn paid to Chelsea the night before.Unfortunately for him, he discovers that it wasn't Vaughn's ONLY surprise. CXV one-shot.

Hikari always hated gory movies, yet because of a dare, she watches one at her house, alone, with the lights off. It's a spell for disaster…but one God won't stand for it. Harvest KingxHikari fluff.

Madara x OC One-shot! There were many suggestions that Madara's office should be moved farther away from everyone, but he claimed he wanted to be around people. "Why the hell are you in my office? Get out!" ...right.

You've always wanted a HIDAN, and now you have it! Please remember to read all instructions before attempting to control your HIDAN.

On the after party of Lanna and Denny's wedding, Lanna convinces Vaughn to ask Chelsea for a dance. Gentleman-style. One-shot, Vaughn x Chelsea, third person perspective.

Everyone had their own little world. Needless to say, so did she. Chars mentioned: Shawn, Lassiter, Juliet, Vick, Gus, and OC. Drabble.

KYOUYA/OC. Kyouya's ego tells him that guys can do what girls can. Thus, baking. But what would you expect to a rich bastard who has never set foot on a kitchen before? Disaster, indeed. Disaster.

SLASH! YAOI! T's a good rating. Gill gets dragged to Caramel Falls to take a nap by Toby, cuddling is involved, sleep molesting is involved, Toby being naughty, Gill being uber-uke, I got it from a Comic on Deviantart by XoverLover, go read it!

What happens when two teenage girls decide that the characters of voice actors should meet- during the most climatic parts of one of the series! Warning: EXTREME crack-writing. Honest opinions plz? Even if its "YOU NEED TO DIE IN A HOLE!" We'll take it.

All about Kakuzu, his first love and the reason to why he joined Akatsuki. How it all started. KAKUZUxOC Trilogy.

Old story I deleted all my others but I wanted to keep this one up for someone else. Figure it wont matter lol.