Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter. 92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing your ass off. "Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule." Friedrich Nietzsche “The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” Friedrich Nietzsche "As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot." John Lennon "I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?" John Lennon "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend." Martin Luther King, Jr. "I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." Edgar Allan Poe "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." Edgar Allan Poe "Stupidity is a talent for misconception." Edgar Allan Poe "We loved with a love that was more than love." Edgar Allan Poe They say that time is the greatest teacher, but unfortunately... it kills all its students There are two things in life that you can never escape -death and taxes. If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. If you take the word 'Therapist' and capitalize the 'R', you get 'The Rapist'. Does anyone else find that slightly worrying, yet intriguing? “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.” – Isaac Asimov Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth. Mark Twain 65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile. If you believe teenagers are stereotyped, put this on your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Weird is good, strange it bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile! If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has the personality, you have the conflict If your IQ is high enough to make L and the people at Wammy's orphanage gulp, copy this onto your profile. School: A Place Satan invented while High. My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car. If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Sarcasm is one more service we offer. I hear voices and they don't like you Smile -- it confuses the enemy I'm not bossy. I just have better ideas. Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. R.D. Laing I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Cheer up! The worst is yet to come. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He/she won't expect it back. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room temperature. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. The road to hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well meaning, and paved with their good intentions. Always be who you are. Those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter. If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway. The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a crib house whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff...I laugh again. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen! It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.” A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Month one Month Two Month Three Month Four Month Five Month Six Month Seven Every Abortion Is Just . . . If you're against abortion, re-post this I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.” "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: Repost this message. Ignore it as if it never touched your heart TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide. A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them. CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute. ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to aCaymanIslandcompany secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of theUnited States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull. ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows. Stop the Pairing Wars! By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them. You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else. You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them. You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing. You shalt paste this in your profile. Thoughts on Gay Marriage! Gay marriage is not natural, and as Americans, we always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and liposuction. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion inAmerica. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... The differences betweens people who say they're ur friends, and people who ARE ur friends. FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. 93 percent of American teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" or "Your point is?" or "You just realized this now?"" Wow, you're even more stupid than you look." copy this to your profile 50 Rules of Combat You are not Superman Recoilless rifles aren't. Suppressive fire won't. If it's stupid & it works, it ain't stupid Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you. When in doubt empty the magazine. Never share a foxhole with someone braver then you are. Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed toward you. All five-second grenade fuses are three seconds. Try to look unimportant--they may be low on ammo. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will be short. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack. The important things are always simple. The simple things are always hard. If you're short of everything except the enemy, you're in combat. Incoming fire has the right of way. No combat-ready unit was ever passed inspection. No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat. Teamwork is essential. It gives them other people to shoot at. If the enemy is in range, so are you. Tracers work both ways. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose ... they are both right. All weather close support doesn't work in bad weather. The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range. The only terrain that is truly controlled is the terrain upon which you are standing. The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins. REMF's (Rear Echelon Mother Fraggers) are everywhere. The best tank killer is another tank. Therefore tanks are always fighting each other ...& have no time to help the infantry. Precision bombing is normally accurate to within +/- one mile (...or so). Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire. Cluster bombing from B-52s and C130s is very very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground. Perfect plans aren't. Friendly fire isn't. The easy way is always mined. The side with the fanciest uniforms loses. (French?) Professionals are predictable--it's the amateurs that are dangerous. Armored vehicles are bullet magnets; a moving foxhole that attracts attention. No plan survives the first few seconds of combat. Expending material in combat is easier than filling out Graves Registration forms -- Ammo is cheap; your life isn't. Just because you can't see the enemy; don't for a minute believe they can't see you. Final Protective Fire doesn't. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: When you're ready for them. When you're not. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down. If your attack is going well, you've just walked into an ambush. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy. |
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