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hi my name is blank you don't think i was going to tell u my name right i don't know who is out there anyway i love twilight i know every thing about it i am a twilight freak and i am proud of it love u

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¨°º¤ø„¸Twilight¸„ø¤º°¨
¸„ø¤º°¨ ~~~~ ROX!!~~~~°º¤ø„¸
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”Eeny meeny miney mo, in which car shall we go? Alice’s Porsche or Edward’s Volvo? Eeny meeny miney mo."

I know I'm not perfect,
I know I'm a geek, in many ways,
I know I listen to "Weird" bands,
I know I like to read,
I know I like school, even teachers.

BUT:
I know I have true friends,
I know I'm loved,
I know who I love,
I know I can overcome ups and downs.
And I know who I am.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

"You can't always argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention." -Brom, Eragon

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

When life gives you lemons, you throw them right back and tell it to make their own damn lemonade.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human’s way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Heaven doesn't want me, and hell's afraid I'll take over.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking too good, either.

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen." , replied the congregation.

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

LES is Love Edward Syndrome

OCD is Obsessive Cullen Disorder

WBWAVS is Wishing Bella Was A Vampire Syndrome

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile.

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace, copy this into your profile.

If you wish you were the creator of Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you you think Edward is freaken HOT copy + paste this into your profile

If you wish that your name was as interesting as Scorpius Malfoy, Sirius Black, Gellert Grindelwald, Lavender Brown, Ginevra Weasley, Albus Severus Potter or anything like Nymphadora, Andromeda, Narcissa or Bellatrix, copy this into your profile.

If you think Edward is perfect for Bella, paste this onto your profile

If you hate Mike and you're not afraid to say it, paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica can be annoying paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica and Mike belong together because they're both annoying and stupid, paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you are frequently told to be quiet/shut the hell up, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile

now for semoehtnig itnresitng...

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile. (read it, it's cool and annoying at the same time, and also a bit funny)

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line. X (I was totally punked with this one :D)

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

REMEMBER WHEN
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26.Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, she's thinking of how to say I love you.
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world, let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

Find the guy that calls you BEAUTIFUL instead of hot,

who calls YOU BACK when YOU HANG up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for HOURS and listen to your heart beat,

or will stay awake just to WATCH YOU sleep,

wait for the guy that kisses your FORHEAD,

who keeps YOUR PICTURE in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in SWEATPANTS,

who holds your hand in front of ALL HIS FRIENDS,

who thinks your beautiful WITHOUT makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he CARES and how he is LUCKY to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. ( I think I have, but I was zoned out,so time means nothing to me)

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile(i'm not the only one)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. (yea, so much its sad)

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, and were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile ( I do it all the time, don't feel bad! C:)
If you have ever run into a glass door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year (or ever).

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, fanpiremari, Katherine-Flynn, 2insanepeople, Drifting.Through.Black, Lovenyx125

╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too.

(\)_(/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
Whenever my hear fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfil spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FreakyTwilightLovero.o, emoTWiLiGHT. Obsessed.with.writing, -TeAm EdWaRd32- 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7, Lovenyx125

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Orlando Bloom told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show or read a book) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

A guy gets a girl 11 real roses and one fake rose. When he gave her the 12 roses, he said,"I'll love you until the last one dies."

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever fell UP the stairs, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.

7.Don’t use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”

10. Sing Along at the Opera

11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!”

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I f you wish you could have a big brother like Emmett Cullen, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off

If you read New Moon and Eclipse and wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you actually like to read, just for fun, copy and past this on your profile.

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with one or all of the Cullens, but you don't really care because even though admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly, you don't wanna heal. Then post this on your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think TWILIGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile

(star-y thing-ies!!) random!!

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier, hotter and spicier Than You since 1901

And then there's

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say I'm WEIRD
I say YES I AM

You think I’m strong. I’m not.
You think I’m brave. I’m not.
You think my life is perfect. It’s not.
You think I’m perfect. I’m not.

You know you live in 2009 when...

1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace

4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

FOR THE GIRLZ

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Girl: Sorry, there are no services today.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Girl: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you like me?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you want me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you cry if I left?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you live for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you do anything for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Choose--me or your life

Edward: My life

Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

The Lovers

In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote
to whom we please but one kiss.

Article 1:

Statement of Love:
The Kiss

1.Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3. Kiss on the neck
I want you

4.kiss on the lips

5.Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6.Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7. Look in your eyes
kiss me

8.Playing with your hair

I can't live without you

9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

Article 2:
The Three Steps

1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2. Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3.Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to
stare.

Article 3:
The Commandments

1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.

2.Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.

3.Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

Here are a few reasons
why guys
like girls:

1. They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed
but in the end it makes it all worth while

8.Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think
she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name
on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says 'lets not fight anymore'
even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17.The way they kiss you when you say 'I love you'

18.
Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt. (even though
we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say 'I miss you'

24. The way you miss them

25. The way their tears make you want to
change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore... Yet regardless if you love them,
hate them, wish they would die or
know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to the depths of their souls
and you say a million things without trace of
a sound, you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed within
the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

If i dont call you
Its because i'm waiting for you to call me

When i walk away from you mad
Follow me

When i stare at your mouth
Kiss me

When i push you or hit you
Grab me and dont let go

When i start cussing at you
Kiss me and tell me you love me

When im quiet
Ask me whats wrong

When i ignore you
Give me your attention

When i pull away
Pull me back

When you see me at my worst
Tell me i'm beautiful

When you see me start crying
Hold me and tell me everything will be alright

When you see me walking
Sneak up and hug my waist from behind

When i'm scared
Protect me

When i lay my head on your shoulder
Tilt my head up and kiss me

When i grab at your hands
Hold mine and play with my fingers

When i tease you
Tease me back and make me laugh

When i dont answer for a long time
reassure me that everything is okay

When i look at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When i say that i like you
I really do more than you could understand

When i bump into you
bump into me back and make me laugh

When i tell you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When i look at you in your eyes
dont look away until i do

When i miss you
i'm hurting inside

When you break my heart
the pain never really goes away

When i say its over
i still want you to be mine

I don't care if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now... I dont care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson...just read this, it will make a difference...

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you

Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you

SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!

When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin

she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text you.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm sradishing to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I sradish to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

This is one of the saddest things ever! If you care, put this in your profile.

this poem is sad it is about child abuse is a bad this that alot of children in the world have to deal with put this on your profile help make a differnts to help the children that have to deal with being abuse.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Went to a party Mom...

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and goodbye.

You know you're obsessed with Twilight if... You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward! You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire. You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them. You've read Twilight and New Moon at least 5 times each! You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news. You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight or New Moon. You give your teachers Twilight and/or New Moon for Christmas. When you see a box labeled "Forks" at a restaurant you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there. Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you. You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up. You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward does. You watch the show Moonlight and imagine Beth as Bella and Mick as Edward. Submitted by fans: You know you're obsessed with Twilight if... You get so excited when you see somebody else reading it, you have to talk to them even if you don't know them Almost every conversation you have with your friends leads back to the ever lasting Edward vs Jacob debate You get so mad at Edward for not just changing her into a vampire already you slam the book shut and throw it on the ground You then have to pick it up again seconds later, just to finish the epilogue Your friend finally decided to read it, just so she could keep up with the conversations Your guy friend hasn't read the books but has heard you talk about Edward Cullen so much, he despises him with a loathing passion that he brings up almost as much as you bring up the series You got so mad when your mom's friend didn't return the book right away after you lent it to her, you had to go get it from the library Your mom calls Edward Anthony and you wont speak to her for 3 days (actually true) You have and entire notebook for the Twilight series (I have one, complete with playlist, quotes, fan art, and fan fiction) You have categorized your friends into Twilight characters, replacing everyone but Edward (Face it: No one but Edward can be like Edward) Your favorite font on your computer is Edwardian Script You go to a relative’s house for the holidays, only to refuse to socialize until you have finished the book in the series you are on You stop asking to go to the beach on vacation, and instead ask to visit Denli to look for Tanya and the Cullens You ask your boyfriend to dye his hair “bronze” When you get all freaked and worked up cause your substitutes name is Mrs. Cullen and wonder is she has a son or relative named Edward. When you dec your myspace out in Twilight stuff and quotes! Your parents make you angry by trying to change Edward's name to Eddy or the Edmister Your science teacher knows your boyfriend is giving you Eclipse for your birthday While waiting for your boyfriend to give you Eclipse for your birthday, you cheated and went to the school book fair multiple times to read it and got to page 147. At the book fair your science teacher came up and said you couldn't just sit there reading the book, especially since you weren't supposed to have it yet, so you stood up and read it walking around instead. In art class you are making wood sculptures and you make a mountain lion because of Edward While making the sculpture, you talk the entire period using only quotes from Twilight You keep a dry erase board in your room and have a daily quote from Twilight,New Moon, or Eclipse You don't talk at lunch because you are too busy reading. You are considering taking a picture of your friend's hair and sending it to the makers of the Twilight movie,saying that they should mimic it exactly for Edward's hair color. You love Edward more than your boyfriend The back of your notebook cover is absolutely covered in quotes from Twilight and you are upset because you cannot continue on the inside of the cover because the pencil won't show up You no longer sleep on a normal pillow, but on one that has arms because it sort of feels like Edward holding you You kiss a wall and pretend it is Edward. On the back of your music for chorus, you create acrostic poems for Edward Cullen Your friend (who hasn't read the books) knows enough about Edward that when you are stuck for the second "D" she gives you the word dangerous. When your grandmother came to visit, you read her all of Twilight out loud in 6 days When playing luck games or games with dice, before rolling or spinning you say " I am betting on Alice." You have a eclipse poster, a flower a red ribbon, and a drawing of Edward and Bella taped to the side of your dresser. You have smelled your copy of Eclipse and you think it smells good You wore a tight fitting black turtleneck to school and when your friend asked why you were so happy and why you liked it so much you said it was because it made you feel "vampirey" You and your friend fantasize about being vampires While reading, you constantly look at your picture of Edward When you are in your room, you wake up your computer so you can look at your wallpaper When your boyfriend dumps you, you are okay with it because now you can focus on Edward When your father asks you what you are doing when you go upstairs to read, you say you are "going to spend some time with Edward." On the bus, you are known for being capable of reading 2 pages of Eclipse in 1 minute, then being able to complete the sentence off the pages. It doesn't bother you in the slightest that on the bus everyone calls you the book freak. You are proud of the title You doodle "I Love Edward" all over your hands and arms with sharpies not caring that when you write on your self you get ISS (in school suspension) You won't let you own mother read the books, even though you keep talking about them to her. Someone asks you what you want for Christmas and you reply, "Edward Cullen please!" You're in the car and stare out the window looking for a silver Volvo or an old red truck (maybe even a yellow Porsche) You're on a walk and you notice that your hands are kind of white and grin but when they return to regular color you feel like crying You didn't talk to your mom for three days because she thought that the whole vampire thing was overdone Your cousins get mad at you every time you see them because you won't stop talking about the Twilight series Every night you wonder what Edward is doing and then get sad because you know that he is with Bella Your friends get mad at you because you won't stop talking about the Twilight series when you're supposed to be working on a group project You write Twilight quotes all over your math notebook Your teacher yells at you for talking when you were discussing how hot Edward is with you friend who is also obsessed with The Twilight series You describe Edward, Jasper, and Emmett to your cousins and ask them which one they would actually date ( I didn't tell them it was from Twilight though) Your cousins ask you to describe what your 'dream date' looks like in you mind you describe Edward and then add that Edward isn't your dream date, he's your future husband You and your also obsessed friend talk about how hot Edward is so much that a boy in your class hears and asks who Edward is and you reply "He's only the hottest man on earth" then add "Well, not exactly, but he is very close" trying not to say that Edward is a vampire. You kiss the cover of your book copies and tell everyone that they are your bibles You growl at anyone who touches your books You talk to the books in attempt to get a response from Edward You think about all the ways your boyfriend isn't like Edward and you get mad You cry because you don't have an Edward in your life Going to the bathroom for any reason is now called having a "human moment." You're saving money so you can take all your friends to see the movie You've named your puppy Isabella Rose Your mom has to remind you that the book is fiction You still think Twilight is real You get into fist fights with your little brother over what a real vampire is To make up to your brother you watch Vampire Secrets on the history channel and laugh at the company's stupidity You plan on buying a motorcycle You plan on going to Washington U Your mom takes away your books She grounds you from all things vampire You just go borrow your friends You recomend Twilight to the school librarian (Whom you babysit for) to get the books You have full fledged conversations and arguments over the books with said libarayian You let your Lit. teacher borrow your copy of Eclipse Your classmates make fun of you and said teacher for being so obsessed Everyone in school knows that you'll let them borrow your copy of the books You got your Nana and Aunt hooked You got your copy of Eclipse the day it came out You clean off the chair in your bedroom so Edward can have a place to sit(it is a rocking chair so that kinda makes me wonder) You refer to your friends as Alice, Jessica, etc. Your friends refer to you as Bella You get into arguments with a friend about whom is more Bella ish You win the argument by saying that since you're a veggitarian you only have to right to be in love with other veggitarians And since you are squimmish enought to puke at the sight of blood. are clumsy enough to somehow get your hair stuck in a window, and have brown hair instead of red you only fit the character perfectly You make fun of people because they haven't read the book You're driving around, distracted from thinking about Edward, run a red light and get side swiped. You and your boyfriend (who's is kinda jealous of Edward) plan a trip to Forks, Washington, hoping that there will be an Edward there for you. When your screen-name has something to do with Twilight. You and three other friends decide your going to morph into one and become Bella and go find your Edward. (true story!) You have gotten your teachers reading the Twilight series, and saying Edward's hot. (all the teachers are married!) Your mom read twilight and said it wasn't anything special, so you yell at her when she won't read new moon or eclipse. (this really happened) You and your friends favorite quote is "I do love me some Edward!" Your mad at your family when they won't let you name your new kitten Edward Cullen. You don't want them to make a Twilight movie, because all the Cullens (especially Edward) won't be even close to their true perfection. You check this list every day to see if new things were added. You forced a male friend into reading Twilight by threatening to turn him into a girl and put a video of it on YouTube. You nearly kill said male friend for calling the book boring, normal, and too descriptive. You and your friends are in a current feud over who gets Edward. You then decide to try to get rid of your obsession and find it IMPOSSIBLE. You are working in a "haunted play" and you HAVE to be the vampire and then get mad when you realize that you have to be an evil vampire AND have to wear fake teeth. You act out the parts in the book as you're reading it for the fifty millionth time. You are very angry that you can't buy the books (I'm poor) so you can hi-light, like, every single line. Then you realize that the book is way to sacred to be hi-lighted. After reading Twilight you wrote suicide letters from Bella to her parents so she could stage a death and force Edward to turn her into a vampire. You are trying so hard to find golden contacts and make yourself paler. You get mad at your friend for calling you a blonde. You then decide that you are both blonde and brunette, SO you have more fun AND Edward likes you better too. You are planning on filling your new iPod with the playlists on StephenieMeyer.com, Debussy, and Linkin Park. You use a notecard as a notebook so you can write down funny quotes that you like. You read list and thought, Oh, I'd never do that, and then you go and do it the next day. You throw a wedding shower for Bella and Edward. You wore black all throughout the time you read New Moon to show that you were in mourning for Bella. You want to break Jacob Black's jaw. You pass out with excitement when someone announces that Stephenie Meyer will be in town. When you notice a canary yellow Porsche, which make happens to be a 911 turbo you go into hysterics and the people in the car with you just stare at you. When your friend's sister bought the book because it "sounded interesting", has had it for well over a year, hasn't read it yet and you're planning on stealing her copy because it's too good to gather dust. You keep trying to convince your friends that they HAVE to read these books although you know they won't...you keep trying. You plan on getting the Bella, Edward, and Jacob tattoos from the New Moon SE permanently tattooed on your body. (And you design equally fancy ones for the other characters to get.) When the series in finally done you plan on getting the title and below it the book cover tattooed down the center of your back...for every book. You're driving your friend crazy by asking her where she is in the book when she's had it for two weeks and she's not done yet (trust me, she gets mad) You get depressed when you think that if Twilight were real, you would just be another Jessica to Edward. :( You get uber-mad at your mom when she reads Twilight and New Moon and says that they were fine but "just for teenage girls." Helooo. Everyone should read them! Including guys- they can take a lesson from Edward. You dress up as all the characters of Twilight at midnight. When you heard there was going to be a Twilight movie you got so excited you broke a chair(actually happend) You make the Cullens, the Swans and the Blacks on sims. You name your pet rock Edward You name the squirrels in your backyard after the characters You are laughing crazily because you have actually done most of the stuff on this list You go out and buy a space heater You yelled at Edward when he left, and you wouldn't talk to him for a week You always use Edward as an example on tests You look up Edward in the dictionary, and scream when you find out theres a half page of Edward's. You sign your emails Edward's biggest fans You stay up every night in case you might see the midnight sun You sometimes wonder during school what 'Edward is doing now' You almost cry (or actually do) when you read a spoiler for Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Breaking Dawn by accident For your Halloween costume, you wear a pale foundation; gold contacts; dark circles under your eyes; fake vampire bite-marks on your neck; and a/an (take your pick out of these) I Love Edward Cullen/Edward Cullen's Mate/Edward Cullen's #1 Fan/Runs With Vampires" T-shirt (I'm considering doing this) Whenever you're about to do something stupid that you don't want to do, you do it anyway to hear Edward's voice in your head yell at you (purrrr) You get really mad at your sister when she borrows your paperback Twilight copy and returns it with the corners dog-eared and in worse shape (this happened to me - I actually couldn't see straight when I saw what she did to it!) You take EXTREMELY good care of your Twilight series books You doodle characters from Twilight during school hours (the people sitting around me were asking me what I was drawing repeatedly) You get upset with your sister who has read Twilight and liked it, but wants to skip New Moon right to Eclipse because Edward's not in it (you can sympathize, but New Moon is important!!) and you told her all about it (that was before she read Twilight and was interested) You glare at your sister when she tells you to hurry up and finish Eclipse You're already giddy that your hands and feet are always freezing, but it's not good enough so in the car/bus/silver Volvo you roll down your window, turn on the AC (NOT JACOB) and try to get your body as cold as possible. That would be me... When you think up of new things for the characters to say/do in certain parts of the book. When you get a mental image of what you think is going to happen in the next book after you read first chapter at the end of the last book. And you know that will never happen but you still like the idea. You print out this list and highlight the ones you've done. You talk about Twilight so much your friends' mothers are reading it now. You skip you dinner break during band camp, wearing a Twilight shirt and glitter to get your Eclipse book. When you go to get Eclipse the saleswoman recognizes you for begging for a midnight release party for Eclipse. You screamed in Barnes and Noble when receiving your copy of Eclipse During band rehearsal you start reading Eclipse and freshmen ask you if its summer reading and you say no. But it's on your personal summer reading list! During band camp you talk about how sexy Edward Cullen is and one of freshmen ask you who he is. All your friends yell at the kid saying "OMG NOT AGAIN! LOOK WHAT YOU DID. YOU GOT HER STARTED. NOW SHE WON'T SHUT UP!" You and your twilight fan friends fight in the middle of rehearsal over edward. Calling each other 'homewreckers' and start slapping each other's face You argue on which days you can own Edward. All the days got mixed up you just decided to clone Edward. You're watching The Price is Right and when a guy named Edward wins the showcase, you cheer loud enough that all your neighbors hear it. When your friend goes on a trip, you tell her to 'find an Edward Cullen for me.' You videotape yourself sleeping to see if you talk about Edward You saw the Bella handbag at Forever 21 and had to buy it. The playlists that Stephenie Meyer makes for her books are the only songs you listen to. Your music style has suddenly changed from girly pop to only the bands that are listed on Stephenie Meyer's Myspace. After reading Eclipse, you petitioned for your school (or house) to get air conditioning, just in case you didn't seem enough anti-Jacob You check StephenieMeyer.com twice a day for updates. You went to a plastic surgeon to see if you could get a heart-shaped face and bigger lips. You made shirts for you and your boyfriend: yours says Bella and his says Edward The second that Twilight and New Moon went on your school approved reading list, you got excited because you had a reason for your mom to lift the grounding on all books by Stephenie Meyer You will now only read books with black and red on the cover You asked your school counselor if they could make a class dedicated to the Twilight books. When one of your friends said that she liked Jacob, you refused to talk to her for a month. You spent all summer indoors (so you wouldn't tan) and denying yourself sleep (to get those perfect dark circles). When people see you the first day of school, you say that you are going for the 'vampire look.' You look up and the suction tip you are supposed to be holding in the person's mouth is no longer in there because you were daydreaming about Edward! You carry all three books with you everywhere in a shoulder bag even if you have crutches because you have a broken ankle,(yes I did this, and still do) You hear Edward and Bella in your head all the time and you actually take advice from them (me) You have fantasies where Edward and Bella appear in your room and they have to stay at your house, and Edward keeps laughing at your spastic thoughts :( Your mom gets mad at you when you can't stop babbling to all her friends about the books. You actually read all three books out loud (including Eclipse) to your best guy friend, You then scold said guy friend for not being like Edward. You have a compulsive night routine where you kiss a drawing of Edward, spray your pillow with sweet perfume, and then listen to music that reminds you of the books before going to sleep. You've read all three books more then you can count. You name your charcters in a video game after the characters in Twilight. You answer clothing surveys, you answer everything twilight or Edward Cullen related, just so they will hopefully put Twilight clothing items in the store. You create a person on Barbiegirls.com, that looks exactly like Alice, topaz eyes and all. You believe your friend when she says her cats are vampires. You cat sit for her and then suddenly yell out "YES, BITE ME!" to her black cat with yellowish eyes (true story). You have an alter ego named after a Twilight character. (I named mine Edward! Shows you how cool I am...) You squeal whenever Edward's name comes up in the book, and by now, people are used to it. On Halloween, you wear designer-looking clothes, whiten your teeth, leave dark circles under your eyes, make sure your super pale, and go trick or treating. When people ask who or what you are, you roll your eyes and say you're a vampire...obviously! You get paranoid whenever you're around your friend, James, thinking he might all of a sudden throw you across the room, breaking every bone in your body. You practice your snarling. You talk to your friend about how much you love Edward, and when they say why they can't have Edward, you growl and then say they can have someone else. (I did this with my friend. She asked that, if I got Edward, who could she get. XD, I immediately said Jasper.) You compare one of your drawings of the book cover to the actual cover itself and start to cry when you didn't get the angle on the arms right, or the apple wasn't big enough, or the stem of the flower was too skinny, etc. You go to bed and before you fall asleep, you gasp silently to yourself and run to the window to see if Edward's there. You jump for joy when you look through your old band music and see the song "Claire de Lune". (I did play this song in Grade 6, it wasn't nearly as good as hearing it done professionally.) In Auto body class, the teacher says you'll be given your own car to examine and tinker around with, and you immediately request a Volvo. You've started to dress like the characters. You attempt on making some random super big dude with dark skin angry, in hopes that he'll explode and grow fur. You buy dozens of CD's and arrange them in your room exactly as Edward has. You match every song you hear to Twilight, including disco songs such as Funky White Boy. You have your Eclipse poster from New Moon, hanging by your bed so every night you can read the quote before you fall asleep. Your e-mail name is Isabella Swan. Your little sister slapped you because you've been talking about Twilight to much When you offer the book to your ten-year-old brother. When you go to sit on Santa's lap, you ask for an "Edward Cullen." You mark your favourite bits of Twilight with post-its as you read so you can automatically flip to whatever quotes/scenes you want to read each day. Or alternatively, you've already memorized the pages. You log on to Stepheniemeyer.com at the 59th minute of every hour, just so you can get the satisfaction of seeing there is one less hour to go until the release of eclipse. You've asked your mum or dad to get a job at Barnes and Noble so you might be able to get your copy of Breaking Dawn extra early, too. As soon as you finished Twilight, you ran out and bought every Linkin Park album in the store, although you never liked them before. You then sit and listen for the next 3 hours, trying to figure out which songs Bella would've liked. You start taking ballet lessons to try and walk more like Alice. You've started walking lopsided because you're always walking around with 2 hardback copies of Twilight and New Moon in your already heavy, one shouldered schoolbag. If you can't find some sort of relation to Twilight/New Moon in the lyrics of a song, however faint, you immediately hate it. If your name is Bella, you swear you're not going to marry anyone unless their surname is Cullen. So you can be called Bella Cullen. You surprise your mother, who has been nagging at you to read literary classics for years to improve your english, by eagerly reading Wurthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Romeo and Juliet after seeing them mentioned in Twilight. You fail your English Lit exam, because in your essay you accidentally kept referring to Romeo and Juliet as Edward and Bella. You try going a week without sleeping, to see what it would be like to be a Cullen. You've faked an illness so you can go to hospital and see if there are any Carlisle lookalike doctors. You nearly hurt the saleswoman the first time you purchased New Moon by viciously ripping it out of her hands. You nearly got arrested for shoplifting because you were so delighted with your copy of New Moon that you grabbed it off the shelf and ran out of the store to run home as fast as you can and read it, forgetting to pay. There is a sacred place set in your room for your Twilight books. You buy all your friends copies of Twilight/New Moon for their birthdays. When your friend emails you from abroad to ask how your holidays are, you launch into a 50 minute rant about how much better vacation would be if Edward were here. Just like Bella, you constantly forget to breathe when Edward gives one of his perfect crooked smiles (because you can imagine it perfectly in your head). You've heard a new guy called Edward is coming to your school, and you've already devised a foolproof plan to seduce him and make him your boyfriend. There's a boy called Edward, Jasper or Carlisle in your class, and he's asked you multiple times to please stop stalking him around. You're now as pale as the Cullens, because you've spent all summer doing nothing but re reading Twilight and New Moon on the couch. Your English teacher asks why you keep spelling your name Stephanie with an 'e', like Stephenie Meyer. Your friends stop calling you to ask you to hang out, because your reply is always 'Can't. Too busy. Rereading Twilight.' You could get a scholarship to Oxford or Yale if the Eng.Lit text was on Twilight. You keep a little journal of all your favourite Twilight quotes/perfect songs to fit the fandom. Your boyfriend and your pet names for each other are 'lion' and 'lamb' Calculus suddenly doesn't seem that terrible anymore... You no longer use make up to cover your under eye cirlces; rather you embrace them, knowing you share at least one similarity with the beauties that are Alice and Rosalie Cullen. Your English teacher has asked you to please stop naming every single of the characters in your creative essays 'Edward' or 'Bella'. When someone mentions the words Twilight, Edward, Bella, Cullen or Vampire, your friends instinctively all plug in their headphones so they don't have to listen to the impending 40 minute speech about how much you love Twilight coming up. You don't play the piano, but you've listened to Clair de Lune so many times you figured out how to play it through listening. Right now, your mind is whirling with ideas for your next Twilight fanfic. You don't want to go to sleep because you're scared Edward won't be there when you wake up. Your little sister knows the names of the characters. Whenever she sees the name of a Twilight character, she says, "Hey look it's Edward!" (or whoever it is) You have an Edward that follows you around everywhere, talking to you, touching you -- and only you can see and hear him You don't care when you tell your boyfriend you're in love with Edward When you break up with said boyfriend he thinks it's because of Edward You don't talk to your mom for a week because she won't read Twilight You squeal at every silver Volvo you see Every time it rains you think of Twilight When you re-read New Moon you skip from when Edward left until he comes back Your mom is sick of you calling her Bella. Your dad is sick of you calling him Edward. You have uncontrollable fits of laughter every time someone says something funny in Twilight. You refuse to read New Moon (again) because it causes physical pain when Edward leaves Bella After reading Twilight you start to wonder if your cat is a Vampire and you try to get it to bite you so you can be a vampire and go find Edward. Your nieghbors come home from vaction wondering why after you took care of their dog it now answers to Bella instead of its real name. You get made at your friend because she's had your twilight book for almost a week You're thinking about buying a new copy for yourself and telling here to give you 9 bucks You have hour long phone conversations focused entirely on Edward You know you'll be pacing around the house on August 7th waiting for them to deliver Eclipse You start talking about twilight out loud to yourself You've already got your neighbor and your neighbors daughter anxiously awaiting the arrival of your Eclipse book You have found enough time to read all the personal correspondence Q&A's You convince your parents to name your new baby sister Isabella. You see the car name of "Eclipse" and you gasp a little and become giddy. You actually get showered and ready for bed in a rush because you think that Edward will be waiting for you. You get dissapointed when he's not there to watch you sleep. You pretend he's there any way. Sometimes while reading Twilight you look up from the book shocked to find you're not in Forks and you don't actually remember were you are. Every night a few minutes before midnight you get on StephenieMeyer.com and watch the countdown to Eclipse get one day closer. You know your obsessed with Twilight when you keep on playing hangman endlessly until you find Edward's name. When you randomly walk into a church and pray to Stephenie Meyer with your copy of Twilight that you bring everywhere. When you dream about having one wish and that one wish is that Twilight was reality and you were Edward's "mate" When you read New Moon out to your mother and then made her read it from the very beginning (Twilight) You almost kill said mother when she calls Edward "feminine" When you almost kill, (again) said mother for trying to psycologically analysing Edward (HE CAN'T BE PUT INTO ANY CATAGORY) When you realize that every thing you've ever written and dreamt of will never compare to Twilight at all When you want to take calculus because it's on Edward's timetable even though you argued with your teacher that you hated it. When you get embarrassed about thoughts you have because you never know who could be 'listening' You practise closing your mind so if you came across an Edward he wouldn't judge you When you break up with your boyfriend because "it's not sexy to sleep, you have to watch me" (this was told to me by a friend) You've played the Hangman on this site so many times that you know all the words by heart and you feel really proud about it . You at first loathe Rosalie, but when she apologizes to Bella, you start to like her You drive to school on an icy day, thinking to yourself the whole way there if Edward will save you from an out of control van When you almost get hit my a van, you freak out when Edward wasn't the one who saved you You want to go cliff diving You constantly imagine how seductive (XD) Edward smells You've spent countless hours drawing anything Twilight/New Moon related When people ask you what you want to be when you grow up, you immidiately say you want to be a doctor... who's also a vampire You get dizzy when you smell blood You get nervous if you go into a ballet studio You spend however much time needed picturing what the Twilight character's look like You hate Dracula movies When you're sitting at home reading "the book" on halloween (you finished trick or treating) and a group of kids come to your door, they're all wearing those awful vampire costumes, and you reluctantly give them each one half of a small chocolate bar. When they pout, you tell them "if you sparkle in the sun, I might consider giving you seconds." You want to/or about to go to Brigham Young University You're determined to learn how to play piano, even though you have no musical talent whatsoever. You redecorate your room to look like Bella/Edward's (personally, I prefer Edward's) You don't eat your lunch and when your friends ask, you say "I just had my share of an irritable grizzly" You try to run as fast as you can (faster, even) in hopes that you could be as fast as a vampire You're desperate to have freezing skin You want to have the graceful dancer's walk like Alice has... ...psh, you just want to be graceful! You constantly remind people that vampires don't burn up in the sun, don't sleep in coffins, etc. You run away from anyone with crazy red hair. You write Me+Edward=You threaten to kill your friend if she gets New Moon before you... You've read all the outtakes and Midnight Sun twice at the very least. The Eclipse quote of the day is your MSN pm. You get mad at your friend when you tell her your theory that Bella's hallucinations aren't just that, they're because Edward truly is looking after her and your friend laughs and tells you otherwise. (yeah my friend did that) Harry Potter 7 used to be the #1 book you had to get this summer... now it's Eclipse! Harry who? You and your friend have complete discussions about what will happen next in the book/series You also have discussions about who would be perfect to play Edward in Twilight the movie. You will cry if it doesn't become a movie. And then you decide that the only reasonable person to play Edward is Edward himself. You have Twilight induced dreams... You talk about those dreams... In gym class you wish you were a vampire so you could run faster. And then you remember you have something in common with Bella if you suck at gym. You start laughing uncontrollably when Tyler comes to Bella's house to take her to the prom. You want to go to Italy even more now! You want to be a vampire for Halloween but don't think it would be possible to get a costume... You want to almost die so one of the cullens will turn you into a vampire. You actually like the song Clair de lune by Debussy. After reading the book you could make connections to the book and real life all the time. Your "I can write really well" ego gets bruised when you even look at the books. After getting your mom obsessed with Twilight, you decide to get your friend's mom obsessed, too. And you constantly have intense conversations about the pain experienced when Edward left. (wince) Whenever you and your friends talk about Edward, your voices get higher and higher until your words are nothing but a squeal, and everyone around you stares at you like you're total freaks. Your name on MSN Messenger is 'I (heart) Edward'. You read Twilight and New Moon over and over just so you can be with Edward. When you see a vampire costume at the store you ask the store manager if you can burn it because that's now how real vampires look. You find yourself wondering what Edward's snarl sounds like. You hyperventilate when you're reading about James and Bella in the ballet studio, even though you've already read that part about a million times and already know exactly what's going to happen. When your friends ask you what you've been doing all day, the only honest answer you can come up with is "Thinking about Edward." Your mom's reading Twilight again and you bug her to hurry up so you can read it for the twelfth time. You're afraid that if you don't read Twilight over and over again you'll forget what Edward looks like. When Edward leaves in New Moon, you develop the same hole in your chest that Bella does and often find yourself gasping for air. Your new dream car is a silver 2005 Volvo S60R, even though you really don't know what that is. You start calling everyone by the characters' names. You name your pants after Edward. You shout Edward's name everytime San Jose is mentioned. You want to kill your friend Emily just because her name was mentioned in New Moon and yours wasn't. You are planning on getting a passport for you birthday in case you have to go save Edward (I have actually explained this concept to my parents. Apparently I explained it well too! I am getting one in November! lol) You have asked you Grandmother/family member if you can name her next dog Emmett because it just sounds right (mine said yes :) You also look for houses that could be Charlie's house or the Cullen family's house. You were super excited when you found out that there might be a Twilight movie. You might have even squealed. When you realize you either don't look like Bella or are too young to play the role of Bella, you became super sad. You imagine yourself playing the role of Bella anyway, even if you don't look like her or if you are too young. You spend a lot of your time on Stepheniemeyer.com. You spend even more time reading and/or writing Twilight fanfics. You're about to die waiting for Eclipse to come out. You try to force your friends to read Twilight, and if they refuse or seem uninterested, you become upset. You're always looking up actors and actresses who could play the characters. You lose focus in class because you're daydreaming about Edward. You subconsciously write, "I heart Edward Cullen" all over youre notebook. When you go swimming, you stay under water too long because you forget you have to breathe because you're not a vampire. You take your books with you everywhere you go. You almost cry when you forget your books when you go on a long trip. You're thinking, "Ha! I would never forget my books." You pretty much loathe all other books about vampires. You made a playlist to go with Twilight and/or New Moon. You're convinced Edward and the Cullens are real. You're convinced to go to Forks, Washington and prove it. If anyone with really pale skin who is good looking walks by, you follow them to see if they sparkle in the sun. You might've yelled at your New Moon book when Edward left. Sometimes you hate Bella because Edward is her boyfriend and not your's. You often don't realize how sad that is. You brush your teeth way more than usual because you want your teeth to be as shiny as the Cullens'. You're hinking about Edward right now. You have made your friends read them and they in turn fall in love with them also, then you all name each other after characters and then you hear of people who actually have the rare names (such as Esme) and then hate them without even knowing them. Your new favorite colors are black and red. You threw away all of your fake vampire teeth from Halloween... Edward would not approve of wearing those foul things! You get New Moon and read it during first and second period instead of taking your finals. You read New Moon in two hours flat, taking painful breaks from the gripping story to write the quadratic equation and solve for X. You look up from your book and realize that it might be the best book you've ever read. You take into consideration that you read three books a day. Literally. You spend three hours a day thinking about what powers Bella is going to have. You jump for joy upon hearing that Stephenie is a mormon, because you are too. You stop speaking to your friend because she doesn't like Twilight. (Note: this happened to me. I will never understand her, and all of our socialization is about as friendly as Lauren to Bella.) You pity your friend Lauren for her name. You plan on naming your daughters Alice and Isabella. You are motivated to write a book of your own, but only end up writing fanfic, because no love story can compare. You've made your homepage on your computer StephenieMeyer.com You freak out at your mom when you tell her you can't wait till august for Eclipse to come out, and how much you love Edward, and she blankly stares at you and asks two things: whether or not you have a boyfriend she doesn't know about named Edward (yeah, in my dreams) and what's Eclipse? Your best friend's family friend knows you're literally in love with a fictional character named Edward Cullen. When June 20th comes around you give everyone Cullen cookies and birthday cakes. AND send many bulletins on MySpace wishing him a happy birthday. You see a Newton Bar and immediately freak out and think of Mike Newton. You look for people in the mall that look like characters from Twilight... and then you ask if you can take a picture with them. You see random people and then say to youself, hmmmmm that person looks like _ from Twilight. You dream about Edward and yourself in a meadow. You sleep with Twilight under your pillow/next to you. You want to kill Bella so you can have Edward. You wish on a shooting star for your b-day that you can become a vampire or make Edward come alive so you can marry him. You read so much fanfiction that you have to read the book between fanfics because you get confused what is in the book and what isn't. You get butterflies in your stomach when you don't have your book with you. Anything anyone says you relate to the book! Your eating lunch with your friends at a nice restaurant, and tell them, "Well, it's no irritable grizzly..." You name all of your fish after characters in Twilight the day after you read it, naming your favorite ones Edward and Bella, and your least favorite James and Victoria. You don't start reading the book until 10:30 p.m. and stay up until 5:00 a.m. on a school day, not realizing how late you were up, because you couldn't even look at the clock you were so into the book. Your friends have to tell you to stop talking about Edward. Your friends have to constantly remind you that Edward is NOT your real boyfriend. Your friends also have to constantly remind you that your name is NOT Bella. You start thinking of ways you could somehow meet a guy exactly like Edward. You decide Edward is a real person hiding from the world, and then you are convinced to go on a world wide trip to find him. Your actually in love with Edward. You giggle when Edward says something funny in the book. You get butterflies in your stomach and say 'awwwww' when Edward says something sweet to Bella. You talk to your book while your reading it, and everyone thinks your crazy. After you read Twilight, a copy from the library, you go back to get New Moon, and someone else has it checked out, and you consider asking the librarian who, so that you can go to their house and strangle them, then steal the book. You actually do ask the librarian who has the book. But they wouldn't tell you... You want to fall in love with a vampire. You decide vampires are real. You want to be a vampire so you can fall in love with a vampire. You want to somehow be magically transformed into the world of Twilight. As the role of Bella, of course. You start crying everytime you read the story because you wish your life could be like Bella's You spend all night searching through galleries and making Twilight related wallpapers. You convince yourself that you must stop re-reading Twilight in school because Edward makes you feel that your boyfriend is inferior. Somewhat. When you're bored you tend to visit SM.com and read the FAQ or Extras over and over. You're insanely jealous when you find out that August 7th is your friend's birthday. You and your friend plot to go to Forks to kidnap Edward. You have your copy of Twilight open in front of you as you're typing this. No matter how many times you've read it, you laugh for a long time at Tyler's stupidity and total obliviousness. Some characters constantly remind you of people in your life. At certain points in the book, you just have to stop and sigh, wishing just one more time you could be Bella. When you've finished reading, you get random urges to hug people. Preferrably Edward. But as that sadly isn't possible, you walk over to your boyfriend and give him a big hug, and he's curious as to why. Because he's read the book, but is nearly as oblivious as Tyler. You growled at someone for trying to take your Twilight/New Moon book. You listen to the song "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" by My Chemical Romance and you automatically think of Edward protecting Bella. You squee at the thought of anything Twilight related. You just squee'd. You constantly search Twilight, New Moon, etc. on Google. You've submitted more than 3 of the obsessed things. You freaked out when your friend had your copy of Twilight for 3 days because then you couldn't read it for the millionth time. Your friend who you haven't seen in 3 years and who lives half way across the country knows your in love with Edward Cullen. Your friends know how to make you mad by saying Edward is gay :( You write on your guy friends hand you love Edward Cullen. People know every detail about Edward even though they have no clue who he is. You actually got yelled at by 6 of your friends at the same time for talking about Edward. You have talked about Edward so much that you actually lost your voice. You make your mom read Twilight. Your mom becomes almost as obsessed with Edward as you are. You call your cat Emmet because he attacks things. You went to all three book stores closest to you on May 5th, just to find the special version of New Moon with the first chapter of Eclipse, and yelled profanities while leaving each of those bookstores without the book (since it was sold out. GR!) You can't help whisper "do you want me to bolt the door so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk" as you walk through the door of your prom location. You forget that you're in your school lunch and don't remember until the person you're sitting with closes the book Twilight to get your attention. You then respond by glaring and convincing yourself it's better to NOT bite their hand off. You and your friends speak of what type of vampire you want to be. Your friend carries a vial of her blood around her neck and you want to do the same. You read New Moon the whole time you are in the keys for spring break. Your mom thinks you are on the phone under the covers on a school night but you are actually using the light on your cell phone to read Twilight. When someone talks about a friend or family member with one of the characters names, you give them the third degree about whether they're REALLY as old as they say they are. You smile or blush when you look at a map and see Carlise, PA or Rosalie, NE or even Cullen, VA (my personal favorite). You chased down the entirety of BOTH playlists and decided to make one of your own afterward. You taught yourself to ride a motorcycle by thinking of the clutch as a live grenade. After you do a header into the mud, you wonder why your Edward hallucination didn't tell you how stupid and reckless you were being. You toss in Twilight/ New Moon quotes at every opportunity. Your parents ignore you when you rant about Twilight. They're used to it by now. You refer to writing a fanfic as "making your own drugs." You submit "You Might Be Obsessed" suggestions- and every one of them is true for you! When you are reading this the book is sitting in your lap with your arms wrapped around it. You have to write your obituary in journalism class and in the obituary, you say that you married Edward Cullen and your kids names are Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett. When you see a reference to Bella and Edward in a fanfic you immediatly giggle with glee. And post a comment about that said reference. You convince your boyfriend to read the books and get him addicted. He gets so addicted that he thinks New Moon sucks cause Edward left. You're the editor of the yearbook but you neglect your duties the day before a huge deadline to look for new posts on the BaE.com forums and submit things to the site. You accidentally get a friend in trouble for obsessing about Edward across the room. You draw comics of Emmett totally beasting a bear. You show your friend who's into Linkin Park the acknowledgments in the back of New Moon. You get very excited when you read the acknowledgments in the back of New Moon and see several of your favorite bands. You obsessively read the first chapter of Midnight Sun during your Media Assistant elective under the pretense of "doing work". The only time you leave the house without a copy of one of the books is when you go out for dinner. You spend several hours on the couch, silent, reading New Moon when you first get it and surprise your sister's boyfriend who had heard that you were very talkative. You stay up till 2 on a school night because you just have to finish re-reading New Moon and/or Twilight. As much as you want to, you can't bring yourself to skip any part of New Moon, even to get to Edward and you get very anxious, although you know exactly what's gonna happen next. You've memorized a very long quote of Bella's and constantly scare your friends by reciting it at top speed. If anyone tries to touch a copy of your books, you slap and fight with them until they leave. StephenieMeyer.com is one of the sites you check several times a day just to see if there's any new news. You read the Q&A on the Eclipse Prom over and over again although there's no chance you'll be able to go. You analyze the lyrics to your favorite song and try to relate them to New Moon. And manage to get it to make sense. You and your friends plan to go to Barnes&Noble on May 5th just to read the first chapter of Eclipse in the special edition. In the likely case that it's in plastic, you're planning on buying the special edition just to have your very own copy of the mini poster, the tattos (which you plan on plastering all over your forehead), and to be able to see the first chapter of Eclipse in print. You want to plan an Eclipse party. You plan on going over to a friend's house to make shirts that say 'Real Men Sparkle'. When you hear a quote from Twilight/New Moon, you can tell the exact page and scene it is located in. Your teachers constantly have to take your copy of New Moon away in class because although you've read it 10 times already, you just have to read it again. You spend a whole night reading the Extras and Outtakes from the books and looking for Twilight fan sites and neglect to do your homework. You read the Extras and Outtakes while listing to Linkin Park. When your friend is reading it, every time you see them you ask what part they're at and go on to discuss what just happened and why. You write book reviews for a class on both books and discuss in length why you love Edward. You convince your school librarians to read and get them hooked. You end up discussing the books with the school librarians. You convince the librarians to get Twilight and are excessively happy when you see several copies of that and New Moon on the shelves. You give up your month's allowance so that your mom will bring you to the bookstore and buy New Moon just days after you finished Twilight. Your real boyfreind doesn't even get weirded out anymore when you call him Edward (hey, it's not the real thing, but we can dream right?) You write "GO EDWARD" on everything within a 10 mile radius. People only know you as the "Edward girl". You bought a copy of Twilight just to look at it after you finished reading your friend's. Almost all your friends have now read Twilight. You plan to marry your book. Your teachers are now reading Twilight. You once wanted to be tan, now you want to be really, really pale. When your friends ask to meet your boyfriend, you shove Twilight in their faces and yell, "He's right here!" Your copy of Twilight is so battered that most of the pages have fallen out, and instead of throwing it away, you give it a proper burial. You cry at the burial. Constantly. You talk to Bella more than you talk to your mother. Edward, Bella and the rest of the Cullens have taken over your dreams. You actually think about changing your name to Bella when you turn 18. You actually change your name to Bella when you are 18. You name your kids after Twilight characters. When you finished Twilight, you cried. When you heard there was a sequel, you paraded around the house for twenty minutes. You find yourself wishing you were a vampire. When you have sudden happiness or sadness, you search for Jasper. Deja vu reminds you of Alice. You can answer yes to any of these questions. Pro-wrestlers remind you of Emmett. You asked that blonde doctor at the hospital if his name was Carlisle Cullen. You want a summer home in Forks. If anyone says, "the book" you automatically think of twilight. You wake up at night wondering if Edward is watching you sleep. When you read or see Snow White, you think of Esme. Your favorite website is a Twilight fan site. You think about getting an Audi, because Edward would approve... Whenever you see one of the cars mentioned in twilight, you look inside to see if Emmett or Jasper or anyone else might be hiding in there. You notice that you look a little bit like Bella, and wonder if someone might mistake you for her... Whenever you hear people in the backgrounds of commercials with sooth, pleasant voices, you shudder and think of James. Your friend jokes about stealing your book and you yell at him. You name your pet after a twilight character You write I Love Edward on your cell phone banner You constantly talk about Twilight You're constantly on fanfiction.net reading the Twilight stories. You go through withdrawl when your friend has your copy of Twiligt hostage You love a character from the book coughEdwardcoughcough You try to force yourself to have Twilight related dreams You buy Debussey:Greatest Hits and Linkin Park cds because Edward and Bella like them. You have all kinds of Twilight avatars When someone asks who's Edward and Bella(refering to your avatar), you jump into an hour long description of the book You talk about it constantly so your friends will read it and then you have someone who knows all those inside jokes You write fanfics You adopt topaz as your new favorite gem You always find small things that make you think about Twilight and then you go into a major daydream about Edward :) When you begin to believe that vampires actually exist When you enjoy the fact that you think vampires exist When you think of the best characters to play the cullen family and bella if your school had a twilight play and cant stop looking at them and get jeolous for no reason at the bella look alike When you meet the perfect boy and wander if he could be a vampire... You hope that Stephenie Meyer is a fortune teller and is telling the story of your life and replacing your name with Bella Swan You scribble down "Edward Cullen" so much that you have to hide your evidence so that your parents dont question because his name is too precious to be destroyed When you are in the middle of a reasonable book and have to stop so you can re-read Twilight for what seems like the one millionth time When you are reading it for the one millionth time still get affected by it the same as you were the first time When you fight with yourself to not read any spoilers of new moon but give into the closest but safe temptation. When you get sad every night because Edward isn't laying on your bed and waiting for you When your in the middle of your English exam, and it says the name "Edward" on your example and you get butterflies in your stomach and waste 5 minutes fantisizing "what if he walked into this very english room"...then later on in the English exam...it says something about being pale in a book quote and Immediately picture Edward again. :waits another 5 minutes: You threaten your friend to read faster; he's had the book going on 2 days and is on pg 45...I read it in one sitting. You have written something about Edward on everyone of your Geometry worksheets. You're grades dramatically dropped after reading Twilight, due to thinking about it (Edward) in class. Teachers, friends, random people know you as" the girl w/ that book" because you carry it around in school, work, home..etc. You have a vampire/Twilight related nickname. You've tried to convince your parents to let you go to Forks. If you didnt have to even convince them...they just said, "okay, with who?" You swear that this one guy in school looks just like Edward, only if his hair wasnt black. I pic Edward w/ black hair anyway Teachers give you odd looks when they see you reading it...again...and again...x10 You dont know where your remote/money/coat/hw...etc is; but you know where your book is at ALL times. You suddenly listen to Classical music and/or want a volvo. doesnt apply to me; I listened to classical before hehe Imma oddball You're reading these nodding going "Uh huh, yep, did that" lol You've read the book 20+ times You put the Clair de Lune on your Myspace profile. You now have an obsession with the books Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. You sometimes daydream that Edward is really in Forks, and just hiding from everyone. You sometimes think your daydream is true. Because you think this daydream is true, you now want to move to Washington. You check this Twilight group every 10 minutes. You now love mushroom ravioli. You say, "I wish guys could be more like Edward, " at school and everyone gives you the strangest look because they have no clue what you're talking about. You compare guys to Edward in real life. When you can't watch a movie in science without hearing "it was so hard to fight the urge to just once stroke his perfect face" in your head When you watch said movie in science with your arms crossed tightly across your chest When you find your self jelous of Bella for having a life that seems perfect while at the same time loving her When you find that every song you listen to has a hiddden meaning relating to twilight When you find yourselves insted of daydreaming - imagening twilight scenes and quotes When EVERY one of your binders/notebooks have I ¢¾ Edward on them. When you're going away on a trip (you of course plan to bring Twilight) someone asks you who your going with and you reply with "Oh, Bella and Edward are going to keep me company" When you can sit and read all 498 pages of the book in one sitting When your boyfriend starts getting totally jealous of your constant chatter about Edward When your boyfriend has to tell you to STOP reading him your favorite quotes over the phone When you have quotes written EVERYWHERE When you dream about being Bella, just so you can have Edward When some random stranger in Wal-Mart asks your name you tell them "Bella" or "Alice" When your favorite girl and boy names suddenlt become Edward and Isabella When your mother yells at you to stop writing I love EC all over your binder When your mother grounds you from reading twilight You cried when she went so far as to TAKE IT AWAY during your grounding! When you and your friend (who is also obsessed with twilight) play a game on the phone where you guess the part of twilight that they are reading from...and you always win. When the first thing that you do when you get a cell phone is take a picture of twilight and putit as you background. When your cousins know who Edward Cullen is but have never read the book, and know him as the character that you are madly in love with. When you ask your cousin to read it (welll actually force) and then refuse to give them your copy because its sacred. When everything and anything reminds you of Twilight, reminding you of Edward, and causing you to squeal, generator a bunch of stares from absolute strangers. When you here a song that absolutely reminds you of New Moon you start to screamand force yourself to learn all the words, and your sister stars at you like a maniac. When you talk to the computer when you are on the Lexicon due to a sudden urge of agreement and your sister thinks you are talking to yourself. When you are scared out of your wits of something, you convice yourself that if anything happens, you will definetly (sp) be rescued by Edward, even though he lives on the other side of the country. When your dad knows your obbsession over vampires. And mom. When everything on your MySpace is somehow related to Twilight. When you tell your parents that you want a Volvo, even though you really don't like the look of it that much. When you bought Wuthering Heights, just because Bella read it. When you want to go to Forks and are thinking of what reason to tell your parents that you want to go to Forks for, every day. When you suddenly love the name Alice and Edward, even though you absolutely hated them before. When everytime you see the name (Isa) Bella, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, or any other character name in credit, you get butterflies in your stomach and look around the theater wildly for them. When you're sitting in theatre and your teacher is talking about theatre history, and gladiator battles. and they mention people getting thrown into the ampitheatre with a couple of bears, and you immeditaly gget this mental image of emmatt in the coliseum beating the crap out of a couple of bears in fron of an astonidshed crowd, and you start laughing, and everyone looks at you like your nuts. You just read this entire list to see if you really were obsessed with Twilight. You're sad that this list ended so soon. You made a list of all the things you do.

DANCE...as though no one is watching

LOVE...as though you've never been hurt before

SING...as though no one can hear you

LIVE...everyday as if it was your last...remember..tommorow is never promised.

~Ally

some good advice

Things not to do at hogwarts(winkwink)

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

and that was only some of them

Things I'm not allowed to do in Ferryport landing.

1. I will not tell Sabrina that the president of the United States is an Everafter

2. I will not quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail whenever I see King Arthur

3. It is not polite to ask Jake if he likes “older women”

4. I am not supposed to try and convince Daphne that Harry Potter is real

5. Mr. Canis is not a werewolf, and I should not compare him to Remus Lupin

6. Jokes about police officers being pigs aren’t really funny

7. I will not, as a human, pretend to be a mime trapped inside a box while standing next to the magical barrier

8. Saying “I don’t believe in fairies” will not make Puck or his minions die

9. I will not constantly mention living "happily ever after”

10. I will not talk about finding my Prince Charming, especially if said prince is within earshot

11. I will not throw beans on the ground and pretend that they were magic ones

12. I will not ask people to see their driver’s licenses

13. Nottingham will not be amused if I forge a love letter from him to Heart

14. I will not sing songs from the movie Men in Tights whenever I see Robin Hood or his men

15. I will not steal from Baba Yaga and blame it on somebody else

16. I will not offer any “anti-aging” products to Everafters

17. It is not a good idea to cover walls with red handprints, even as a joke

18. I will not brag about all the places I’ve been recently

19. Pretending to discover magical items is not ok

20. I will not allow Rumpelstiltzkin to adopt children, nor will I hire him as a babysitter

21. I will not start rhyming random words to annoy Mirror

22. I will not give Elvis sausage, no matter what happens

23. I will not attempt a brain/heart transplant on the Scarecrow/Tin Man

24. I will not refer to Everafters by their real names in front of other people

25. I will not ask for autographs

26. I will not ask Everafters to refer me to their plastic surgeons

27. I am not allowed to negotiate a peace treaty with the Scarlet Hand

28. I will not use Mirror to do my hair and make-up in the morning

29. I will not ask known Scarlet Hand members to join a new organization called "The Blue Foot".

A good friend wonders about your romantic history. A best friend could blackmail you with it.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen

Good friends will pick you up when your fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"

Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We screwed up, huh?"

Good friends don't let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid things ALONE

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental
Hospital.

Please select from the following options:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and
6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a
little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy ayway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait
for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you
have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press
9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy
forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll
just mess it up.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this to your profile!

If you have ADHD and always forget the main topic of the conversation and start a new one copy and paste this to your profile.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm sensation it brings you.

I don't have ADHD, I just- Squirrle.

ADVANTAGES OF HAVING ADHD( I HAVE IT TOO SO DON'T BE OFFENDED)

Can meet someone, fall deeply in love, marry, fight, hate, and divorce,
all in about 35 minutes or less.

Can see all of your worldly possessions at one time...because they
are all over the floor

Make far reaching analogies that no one else understands. Write
them off as "Deep Thoughts"

Able to tie seemingly unrelated ideas together

When a GIRL is quiet ...

millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing ...
she is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how
long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not at all
fine.

When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.

When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' ... no one in this world can miss you more than
that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ...

Find a guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

who calls you back when you hang up on him.

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses
your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he
is to have you.

Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

Copy and paste!

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an s in it?

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back!

Do illiterate people get the full benefit of alphabet soup?

Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

If something goes without saying, why do people say it?

Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing

"It's always in the last place you look" Duh! If you had already found it, why would you keep looking?

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.

Confusion is a term for the stupid.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my powers

Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

I ran with scissors and lived! ( i seriously think that one should be put on a t-shirt)

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder

I only have PMS on days that end with a Y

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

Life isn't passing me by - it's trying to run me over!

Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up.

It was a case of life and death - now that he's dead I have a life.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO (does anyone get it...?)

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business!

You're intoxicated by my very presence

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Thanks Stephenie, now I will NEVER get a man.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. gals before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

RIP

To Stephenie (Daddy's little Cannibal)

September 11, 1990 - May 8, 2009

The best writer in Twilight Fanfiction ever.

Believe it or not, you were an inspiration to me.

" what's the matter bella, trip again" (emmett) "no, emmett, i punched a werewolf in the face" (bella)

"bella, im really glad edward didn't kill you. things are so much more fun with you around" (emmett)

"do I dazzle you?" (edward)

"is that cereal any good?" (edward) "well, its no iritable grizzly" (bella)

"i am out. i am a neuteral country. i am switzterland. i refuse to take part in territorial disputes of mythical creatures. (bella)

random twilight copy and pastes

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (Hee hee, I LOVE TWILIGT!)

Come to the dark side... dun dun dun... 'cause we got Edward Cullen!!

If you randomly quote Twilight, copy and paste this to your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!

If you hate Mike and you're not afraid to say it, paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica can be annoying paste this into your profile

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. well duh, i did that like last year

If you think Kristin Stewart should just stop acting because she can't act to save her life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Movie! Bella Swan looked like she had better places to be throughout the whole thing, copy and paste this into your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA HURT SOMEONE!

If you support the "Make Edward change Bella into a vampire" club, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon, Copy and paste this to your profile

If you think that Twilight is the best book know to woman... (And man!) Copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've reread Twilight over 4 times...copy/paste this into your profile.

If, when you have a boy, you'll seriously consider naming him Edward...copy/paste this into your profile

If, when you have a girl, you'll seriously consider naming her Isabella...copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile

If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If whenever you see a silver Volvo and you start to scream "Edward", copy and paste this in your profile

If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are Team Edward, copy and paste this in your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse over four times, copy this onto your profile

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Twilight. I like beginnings. Breaking Dawn is close second.

How long did it take you to read the books?

Twilight (1 hour and 14 minutes) New Moon (1 hour and 23 minutes) Eclipse (2 hours and 4 minutes) Breaking Dawn (1 hour and 54 minutes)

Who introduced you to the books?

The movie, duh!

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

Got them for my birthday present from my parents. Told them to get me it.

What's your dream ending to the series?

The same as the actual ending, so sweet and just how I wanted it to be

Favorites:

The Bella/Edward relationship throughout the books, Emmet's funny qoutes and the Bella/Edward/Jacob triangle in Eclipse, that was so funny!

Who's your favorite vampire?

Edward of course. Though Alice is close behind.

Who is your favorite werewolf?

Seth and Jacob are tied.

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

Edwards quote from Eclipse, "I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart--I've left it with you." Page 95.

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

Twilight when they are in the meadow. The proposal and when Bella lets Edward see her mind at the end of Breaking Dawn.

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

Bella punching him in the face. I laughed so hard I thought I was dying!

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

When Alice tried to guilt Bella into letting her plan the wedding.

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

Hmm, the battle during Eclipse and the stand-off in Breaking Dawn.

Which book cover was your favorite?

All of them. It’s hard to decide because they’re all so beautiful.

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

Definitely! I’m totally addicted and LOVE the books.

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?

Twilight.

New Moon or Eclipse?

Hmm, I can't decide. I love them both

Eclipse or Twilight?

Twilight. It's love the book, but I love Eclipse as well. It's a great book

Are you more excited about a Breaking Dawn Movie or Midnight Sun Full Book?

Breaking Dawn movie, because I don't think SM will ever finish Midnight Sun, sadly. So I have no hopes on a fifth book, but I still hope for the movie.

Midnight Sun Full Book or the Twilight Movie?

Midnight Sun. Twilight already came out, not a choice at all. Besides, the twilight book is better than the movie since the quality could have been better.

The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn Movie?

Breaking Dawn Movie. Twilight's already out as stated previously.

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

Edward! I love Jacob, but Edward is meant to be with Bella!

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

EDWARD!!

Bella or Jacob?

Bella. Love Jacob, but I'd choose Bella over him any day

Bella or Alice?

Ah, now that's hard. I don't know, can't decide. I love Alice!

Alice or Jacob?

ALICE! She rocks!

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice. It’s not everyday you read about a hyper shopacholoic evil vampire pixie.

Jasper or Alice

Can’t decide but perhaps Alice.

Jasper or Edward?

Edward.

Carlisle or Esme?

Carlisle. I feel like we didn't really get to know Esme all that much.

Emmett or Jasper?

Ah, Emmet, he's my big teddy bear. Sorry Jasper, I still love ya though!

Emmett or Jacob?

Hard one, they both can be so funny!

Bella or Rosalie?

Totally Bella. Though Rosalie is a bitch she did get better in Breaking Dawn.

Esme or Charlie?

Charlie, what's not to love about our very own daddy cool?

Charlie or Carlisle

Carlisle.

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie, of course.

Jacob or Sam?

Jacob.

Sam or Quil?

Quil.

Quil or Embry?

Both!

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria, she was smarter! Stayed alive longer!

Werewolves or Vampires?

Vampires! I love ice cold, dead, sparkly hot stuff vamps! Besides vampires sparkle, live forever, and are so much more damn sexier!

Movie Stuff:

How did you first find out about the movie?

My friend told me about it. Also it was the gossip of our school at the time.

Are you excited?

It’s already long out! How old is this quiz?

What do you think of the casting so far?

I love the cast, especially Kristen, Robert, Nikki and Ashley. The people who play the role of Emmett and Jasper totally fit. They’re perfect for the roles!

Are you going to go see it?

I've seen it many times! I even have the DVD!

Planning on going with anyone in particular?

Already long out on DVD! Seriously! Again, how old is this quiz?

Do you think it will stay true to the book?

I think it stayed pretty true to the book, they had their own take on it but didn't divert too much, and I really loved it. However they changed their first kiss and completely skipped the meadow.

(A Few Last Things:)

In which book did you like Bella's character best?

Breaking Dawn, I loved it when she awoke as a vampire that was so funny!

How about Edward's?

ALL OF THEM!! He’s too perfect.

Jacob's?

Breaking Dawn. He was awesome, hilarious! Really! Even the titles in Jacob's book in Breaking Dawn were fucking amazing! Cracks me up every time!

Alice's?

Eclipse. But to be honest, I also read the Midnight Sun partial draft a couple weeks ago and I love her character there, so funny!

If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person?

Euh, all of them?! However mostly EDWARD!! Okay, I would say, probably Alice, I would want to know where she gets all that pep from, really, because it's not natural, even for a vamp!

You say Pink,
I say black!
You say the Harry Potter series,
I say the Twilight series!
You say the Jonas Brothers are hot,
I say the Cullen brothers are HOTTER!
You say Miley Cyrus,
I say Taylor Swift!
You say Harry and Ginny,
I say Edward and Bella!
You say Werewolves,
I say Vampires!
You say Team Jacob,
I say Team Edward 4 ever!
You say you hate Twilight,
I say I hate YOU!

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Music is love in search of word.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

Come join the dark side

A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'

When you fall: A friend helps you up; a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumb ass?"

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I didn't just hit you. I just high-fived your face.

This is 'evil me'. 'Evil me' locked 'nice me' in a closet years ago.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me

Random Sayings:

If someone looks at you funny, flip them the finger.

When someone tells you to act your age, yell at the top of your lungs "I AM!"

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

Never suffer from insanity, enjoy every minute of it.

Remember that all actions have reactions... (You don't wana know why I put this in here, believe me!)

When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Say to them, "Well of course it is! Why the hell would I keep looking for it after I found it?!"

While waiting at a bus stop, if someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?"

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

(Say to a boy:) Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

I'm the type of girl that manages to plan a whole world domination in Histroy class.

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

It's us versus the world...we attack at dawn!

Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!

TEAM EDWARD ALL THE WAY!

You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say I'm WEIRD
I say YES I AM, WHAT TOOK U SO LONG 2 TELL?

ABCDEFG

gummy bears are eating me

one is red

one is blue

the yellow one just ate my shoe

Now I'm running for my life.

The blue one's got a butcher's knife.

ABCDEFG

gummy bears are eating me

isnt dat such a cheerful song?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

I'M THE TYPE OF GiRL
WHO WiLL BURST OUT LAUGHiNG iN DEAD
SiLENCE BECAUSE Of SOMETHiNG THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY =

NORMAL PEOPLE VS. TWILIGHT FANS

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!

TWILIGHT FANS: say OH MY EDWARD!! (OME)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!

TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or i'll provoke the Volturi and blame you

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula

TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON :D:D:D

AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY, BUT IF THE DOCTOR IS CUTE THEN SCREW THE FRUIT.!! (Espeacilly if it's a Cullen!)All you Cullen luvers should be laughin like crazy!!

MY IMAGINARY FRIENDS THINK I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEMS

put this on your page if Gwen Stefani taught u how to spell bananas!!

I run with Scissors
It makes me feel dangerous

I Was Going To Take Over The World But I Got Distracted By Something SPARKLY HEHEHE

When life hands you lemons, throw them back and scream "I wanted Edward Cullen!"

January - I kicked
February - I loved
March - I karate chopped
April - I licked
May - I jumped on
June - I smelled
July - I did the Macarena With
August - I had lunch with
September - I danced with
October - I kissed
November - I yelled at
December - I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1 - a birdbath
2 - a monster
3 - a phone
4 - a fork
5 - a snowman
6 - a gangster
7 - my cell phone
8 - my dog
9 - my best friends' boyfriend
10 - my neighbour
11 - my science teacher
12 - a banana13 - a fireman
14 - a stuffed animal
15 - a goat
16 - a pickle
17 - your mom
18 - a spoon
19 - a smurf
20 - a baseball bat
21 - a ninja
22 - Chuck Norris
23 - a noodle
24 - a squirrel
25 - billie joe armstrong
26 - my sister
27 - my brother
28 - an ipod
29 - a surfer
30 - a llama
31 - A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White - because I'm hot like that.
Black - because thats how I roll.
Pink - because I'm NOT crazy.
Red - because the voices told me to.
Blue - because I'm the coolest and I do what I want.
Green - because I think I need some serious help.
Purple - because I'm AWESOME!
Gray - because Big Bird said to and he is my leader.
Yellow - because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange - because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway. Brown - because I can.
Other - because I'm a Ninja !
None - because I can't control myself !

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Once you meet me, you KNOW that I'm a GEEK

Once you meet me, you KNOW that you will REGRET IT

Once you meet me, YOU should TURN AND RUN

Once you meet me and IF you like ME, you are AWESOME!!

Once you REALLY GOT TO KNOW me, you will LUV me!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thnaks for embracing it.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

The 10 Commandments of a Teenager!

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention it's cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection.)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect, and why the hell would you let yourself get arrested?!)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money.)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them.)

7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off.)

8) Thou shall not kiss boys in school. (Kiss them outside insted.)

9) Thou shall not worry about tests. (Just cheat on them: better marks.)

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave 'm in the middle.)

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to berry the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

Friends: Would comfort you if you got raped.

Best friends: The rapist's body would be in the gutter shortly.

Friends: At your house, they ask politely if they can use your computer to check their e-mail.

Best friends: They get into your FanFiction account that you provided them with your username and password to do so long ago, and post hilarious fanfics under your name, just for you.

Friends: Are sometimes bored when they're around you.

Best friends: Think you're the most hilarious and fun person ever.

Friends: Would feel uneasy going out for dinner with you if their parents didn't approve.

Best friends: Would go cliff-diving if you suggested it.

Friends: Will help you up when you fall

Best friends: Will laugh at you

Friends: Will tell you to look out for the pot hole.

Best friends: Will push you at the pot hole then laugh at you even more.

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit!

Some little weird things

the evening news is when they say "Good Evening.", them tell you why its not. (Mad i say!)

Parents spend the first part of our lives teching us how to walk and talk, the rest they tell us to sit down and shut up.

They say "guns dont kill people, people kill people." Well, i think the gun helps. If i stood there and yelled BANG, i dont think it would have much effect, other than a few laughs .

God made man then said "I can do better than that," and made women.

When there is a will...i want to be in it.

You cry, i cry. You laugh, i laugh. You fall off a cliff, i laugh even harder

My best friends are the kind that is my house was on fire, they would be roasting marshmellows and flirting with the fire men.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs dont make a right, then try three.

Flying is easy, just throw your self of a cliff and miss the ground.

Dont go knocking on deaths dood. Ring the doorbell then run. He hates that!

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read:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, palce it in yuor porifle

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe and God and Jesus Christ is His son...

Then copy and paste this into your profile

If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says..

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."