So, Fang gets sick. The flu, to be exact. And, of course, he has to pull a whole 'Whining Macho Prince' thing about it. Max and Dr. Martinez deal with Fang's attitude, Iggy tries to boycott Campbell's Soup, the Flock play with a blender, and...FAX! Eggy!

"This is a joke, right? It's all a joke." Edward closed his eyes and shook his head slowly."There's no doubt. –Seth Clearwather has imprinted on you, Chloe." It was perfectly silent. But the silence just meant that his words were true... -Aurora-

Edward and Jacob argue about sparkling, intimate biting, and various other subjects. Funny drabbles.

Bella and Edward notice a group of emo children at the mall one day. The two become curious as to why the emos dress and act the way they do. Hilarity ensues when the two parade around with the lot of them... for 'scientific' reasons... sure...

In Jacob's hometown it turns out there's another werewolf added to the pack. Jacob's daughter! Review!

What happens when you mix a very hyper Bella, a pad of paper and a pen? THIS! Baisiclly, the Cullen's start passing note instead of talking. Very random, very, very OOC. Very funny. So, please read and reveiw.

DELOS MAGGIE FANFIC! Everyone wonders what happened after Delos finished Hunter. Did Maggie stay human? Did they join Circle Daybreak? What about Aradia, Jeanne, and Miles? here's what I think happens. Pretty much just a continuation of the original st

Each chapter gives you ten funny ways to annoy a Cullen.

You've read the Twilight series, but what if Bella was never human when she moved to Forks? What if she had younger siblings? Would everything be the same? Would she had the choice to choose between Jacob and Edward?

The Cullens, including Bella, are bored out of their minds. There are too many random things to describe. How much fun can you get up to with the Wii, toothbrushes, llamas, evil Jasper, fake blood and much more? Canon Pairings. Extreme OOC

The Cullen clan is back at high school but now with Jacob and Nessie. New friends and new problems for Nessie. Going to high school with your parents and trying to figure out your relationship with your best friend.

After the vote Edward leaves again to try to force Bella to remain human. Rosalie leaves as well. With Bella and Emmett left together to console one another, will anything else develop for the pair? Or will they always be brother and sister to each other?

What I imagine the 5th book fanfic style. Begins a few months after BD ended. Past not altered. Not OOC. In cannon. In Bella's POV w/Jake's occasionally. Original plot, not done before! Complete with epilogue. Please Read and Review.

The Cullen family has just relocated to cloudy Vancouver, and Nessie, Jacob and the Cullen children are ready to start at another high school. But it's not long before things change more than any of them could have expected.

The Cullen family council a drama camp for a week to do the production “Beauty and the Beast”. Will there be some competition? Romance? Humor? Pranks? Team cheers? Please review!

Sawyer Snape is the daughter of the infamous Severus Snape, one of his most successfully hidden secrets. With much prompting Severus finally allows her to attend school on one condition, she must remain a secret and therefore becomes Sawyer Streem.

The gaang is teleported to my house! Hilarious to the max!

EDWARD/GIRL!HARRY. "When I first met you, I thought if i kept my distance...stayed away, then I wouldn't hurt anybody. Espescially you" "Its a little too late for that, dont you think?" rating may change HIATUS

Carlisle gets a letter from his old friends, Albus, asking for assistance to protect Hogwarts against the evil Voldemort. Soon, the Cullens and Jacob are off to Hogwarts. AT/AU. After BD & during OotP. Canon. E/B A/Ja Re/JB Em/Ro C/Es HP/CC/GW RW/HG

Al's dad told him that Slytherin was all right, and that means it isn't fair how people treat them. Al's realized he has to fix this.

Nessie's growing up and learning to deal with both Jacob and the rest of the family, as well as school. She's coming to terms with it all and making the best of it. But what happens when trouble comes running around the corner when it's least expected?

The relationship that develops between Jacob and Renesmee after Breaking Dawn...not sure exactly where this story is going yet, but it was dying to be written. J & R, B & E, mostly. From Renesmee's POV most of the time .

GoF. Draco Malfoy goes through a dramatic change of heart after the disaster at the World Cup, but somehow, he finds the new American exchange student to be so much more important than that... DMxOC !Currently Rewriting!

Edward has liked Bella since the first day of pre-K. One day, James crosses a line no 4 year old should and Edward stands up for his girl, but isn't able to keep her from crying, so he sets out to make it right. Entry in LittleNessie12's Crayola Contest.

Eluded from her past, Renesmee Cullen knows one thing: her parents gave her up shortly after birth. When trouble strikes, an unknowing Renesmee is taken to the tiny town of Forks. When everything is said and done, will Renesmee discover who she really is?

What would happen if the Cullens opened a summer camp you ask?well everything imaginable! this is a story of what happens when a girl tori and her friends go to this camp! what will happen? i suck at summaries just read the fanfic!

Book 4 with a hilarious soap opera twist. During the Triwizard Tournament, Harry Potter and his friends at Hogwarts deal with life and relationship drama, as well as impossible tasks and dangerous creatures.

In which Paul, Jacob, Leah, and Seth play the new Super Mario Brother's game. Rated T for language and blatant innuendos that divulge into Bowser's and Peach's *real* relationship. It's a humorous crack!fic, or is it a cracky humor!fic? Nobody knows! R&R!

Nessie always knew Leah didn't like her, even when everyone else pretended it wasn't true. It just took her much longer than she thought it did to figure out why.

This is the sequel to If Every Word I Said Could Make You Laugh. You do need to read that to understand this. Zip up your love one more time and read More!

Straight after Breaking Dawn. Nessie and Jacob have been the best of friends but what happens when she begins to grow up goes to high school and gets a boyfriend. Will Bella tell her about Jacob's imprint? Renesmee and Jacob - Please R&R NEW CHAPTER IS UP

It was their thing to sit out and look at the stars. They never thought of changing their routine because, honestly, they weren't very fond of change. It always brought hurt by the wrist as company.

Edward Finds Bella in his meadow, in the middle of december, The only thing different is, Bella is a Pixie. I suck at summaries, much better than it sounds. Chapter Eighteen Up. Wee-ooo. Rated M... For LATER chapers. Not for a while.

Draco Malfoy has always expected he would become a Death Eater upon reaching his sixteenth birthday. He did not expect to discover that his mother had kept a rather large secret from him. HARRY POTTER/TWILIGHT CROSSOVER

Rose, what does 'glomp' mean?" Albus asked. A smile formed on Rose's face. "I'll show you later," Short Rose/Scorpius ficlet

What if when Edward left Bella in New Moon, Bella was pregnant. What if five years later they see each other again. AU

With Hunters secret now revealed, Bella and the band, E Mc2, are now all vampires. What would happen, if decades later, she were to meet a certain bronzed hair vampire that we all know? Sequel to Musical Closure. Must read Musical Closure first to read!

This is a reflection on Nessie's life with Jacob. It follows the progression of their relationship from her birth to the present. It will be mostly Nessie's POV, but there may be some Jacob POV as well.

Her whole existence was never supposed to be a possibility. Nobody believed it could happen, but it did. At seventeen years old, she moves to Forks and meets the Cullen family and everything changes. AU. Jasper/Bella.

After being forced out her home by her stepfather’s dirty little secret, Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington for a new life. She is quickly captivated by the Cullen family or at least one Cullen in particular. Emmett/Bella.

A Binary star consists of two stars orbiting around their common center of mass. And from what I've learned, Fate is like this center mass. As he and I circle it, like the stars, we are always so close and yet just out of reach. Alice/Pre-Twilight.

Edward attacks Bella when he first sees her. Thankfully, she was late for school, so no one was around at the time. Good news for Edward, not so much for Bella. Normal pairings. All vampires. Lots of laughs

Notes, IMs, letters, and emails by Bella and other Twilight characters. Takes place after BD. Characters sometimes OOC. Sillyness predominates. Rated T for sexual innuendoes and potty language.

Pale lavender eyelids flicker, thick black lashes caress porcelain cheeks – and Bella opens her eyes... She is awake. She is all right. Edward's point of view in "Breaking Dawn", beginning with Book Three.

8 yr. after BD. Just random hiliarious phone calls between Edward&Jacob, Bella&Nessie, and Emmett&Jasper. Included: u-arent-good-enough-4-my-daughter-ness, all-men-are-idiots-ness, & lets-reek-havic-on-the-poor-pathetic-humans-ness. Some lauguage.MWHAHA!

Bella discovers a truth about the 'mythical' world long before leaving Phoenix. Seeking out her friends, she finds herself in Forks and surrounded by creatures that shouldn't exist. A retelling of Twilight filled with Magic and staring a powerful Bella.

Melissa finds herself at the Cullens after a few encounters with the supernatural world. Before long Mel gets caught up in a loose-loose situation involving Vamps, Wolves and even Ghosts. At least Mel has her vampire boyfriend, Jeremy, to stand by her.

Revised Cullen Family Story! Silver & Devan are not average twin girls. Their psychic abilities lead them to seek out a long, lost family member. They're shocked to find that their relative hasn't changed much in 100 years.CXEs,RXEm,AXJ,E,Seth,&2OCs *FIN*

Let's say that Alice didn't wait for Bella to jump in New Moon but decided to take matters into her own hands. What will she find back in Forks? How will Edward react? Does Jacob even stand a chance? Read and find out. Reviews are welcomed and wanted

Antoinette is Jacob Blacks little sister. Her life is as normal as any 14 year old girl. But why is Jake acting so weird all of a sudden? And why is one of his friends acting so strange around her? So 'in love' is that even possible?

As the Volturi attacks, Renesmee Cullen has to face her past and choose between standing up for herself … or letting her fear stand in the way of destiny. In order to save them, … him — she has to leave. But can she do it? Renesemee/Jacob.

In Breaking Dawn Bella and Edward finally got their happily ever after...but what happens now with the Volturi lurking, and Nessie's story still untold? -warning- this is my first story, so it is likely to be awful - take it easy on me. :

6 years have passed since the birth of Renesmee. Jacob gets jealous and things that should've kept quiet for longer arise. What will happen when Renesmee finds out a hidden secret? Renesmee & Jacob's POV

What happens when Harry Potter and Twilight crosses over! I don't know! You are gonna have to read! Regular pairings. Beginning of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and after Breaking Dawn. Rated T for very mild language.

Co-writen with Tilted-halo, this story will have you grabbing your desk to try to stop yourself from falling on the floor laughing. Join the cullens as a prank lands them in the notorious Big Brother house! Remember to Expect the unexpected! R&R!

Uh huh, and that's exactly why you decided to grope my ass in public, in front of one of my closest friends. Jakeward

While sitting in class, Edward can't hear a thing people are thinking. And it all started with a glance at the school's newest student transfering from La Push, Jacob Black. Slash. Jacob/Edward MPREG!

Sequel to 'The New Kids' When Renesmee leaves Owen, what drastic measures will he take to try and win her back?

."And do you know what, right then, I really, really, start to hate about myself? I have a thing for eye contact." Leah/Nahuel.

Carlisle starts a blog. This is the blog.

Done for the 1sentence community at LiveJournal. Jascob, SLASH

Nessie's getting nothing but crap from her classmates. What happens when a new student enrolls in her class? Yes, that student is Jacob. Rated T for language and, well, possible future chapters' content. If you review I'll give you a cookie.....

It is a new town for the Cullens. What could possibly be horrible about six vampires stuck in a building full of hormonal teenagers and perverted staff? How about a vampire in a hospital with desperate nurses? Esme's here. Renesmee and Jacob on honeymoon

Five poems. Five different kinds of love. Five people: vampire, werewolf, human, and half-human, half-vampire - the five people that love Bella. A tribute to Edward, Jacob, Alice, Charlie, and Renesmee, the five unsung heroes of Twilight.

AU. Meet Aiyana Black, the half-human, half-shifter/vampire daughter of Jacob and Renesmee. Family life, venturing out into the human world, going to high school, meeting new people and trying to be normal. All Cullens, Jacob, Seth, Leah and new character

What happens when Nessie is all grown up and in love with Jake? Will they be able to overcome a clan of vampires intent on killing Jake to hurt Nessie? Summary sucks.

The vacation locations keep getting more romantic as Jake and Nessie measure their love against extraordinary odds. Can they survive the heartache? Find out here... Please read and review! I also need location suggestions. AnnieOakley16

Welcome to the first anual Avatar Awards. Here you have the oppertunity to vote for your favorite moments, chacacters, eppisodes, and oulfits from the hit show.Nominations have been carefully selected and real digital awards are given out. xD

Breaking Dawn did happen but only to a point, Bella left and had twins. Now 17 years later this is their story. please read my first story.

Six years after Breaking Dawn."I hate and love. And if you should ask how I can do both, I couldn’t say; but I feel it, and it shivers me." Jacob/Nessie, Leah/?

The Cullen family starts high school for the first time since Renesmee has been born. Will she learn to love Jacob the way he wants her to? Or will she meet someone at school and repeat the history that brought her Mom and Dad together? *sequel is now up

slightly AU-6th year. Based on the Severitus Challenge. Harry and Snape must deal with the fact that they are father and son as well as all the other troubles that 6th year brings with it. NO SLASH Please read and review. COMPLETE. The sequel is up.

What if Edward and Bella slept together before he left. What if they didn't meet up again until 90 years later, and Bella has their son? What if Edward was with someone when they met again? I know there are a lot of these, but read please.

Renesmee Cullens life is perfect. She has an immortal family, a boyfriend that imprinted on her, and a human best friend. When a mysterious new student shows up things start spiraling out of control. Can Nessie keep control? or will her world crash & Burn

13 years after BD, the Cullens have moved to a small obscure town in Canada near Calgary to start a new life. However, is there really a 'happily ever after' forever? See how the Cullens face the storm that tries to tear them apart.....

Part 1 of the series, "Gravity". Renesmee is now a young adult, the fallout of an old enemy surfaces, and the wolves are howling. Edward and Bella begin to deal with the truth that Nessie has grown up. Eight years post Breaking Dawn.

The epic story of Nessie Cullen and Jacob Black, dealing with immortality and a new love they aren't quite sure about. A violent twist of fate may just leave them turning in different directions forever.

Nessie and her family are living in Alaska, their happy ever after. But what will they do when that shatters after Alice's visions go awry and the threat of the Volturi arrives? Is there such thing as an happily ever after? Sequel to Renesmee's Twilight.

Edward's rapping? Bella's singing Hannah Montana? Emmett's protecting his barney? Leah's got the pack on leashes? It's all Aro's fault of course. Him and that dang potion.

Post Boiling Rock. Hakoda observes the chemistry between his daughter and a certain Fire Prince. So the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe decides to be a little "manipulative." Completed. For "Zutara Week". Inspired by "Much Ado About Nothing."

Renesmee is going to school for the first time, and it isn't what she expected. It's harder to fit in then she thought, and what happens when she has to pick between truth, lies, and two boys?

Renesmee’s eyes darted around the room, searching for something, anything, she might use as a weapon. She would bite him, she decided. She wondered if that technically broke Cullen house rules. Nessie rolled her eyes. She would apologize later...R&R

"Mama, why do I have to call you Bella in public?" Toddler Nessie doesn't understand why her family have rules. Then, finally, for one day only, her parents allow one rule to be broken.

The Doctor is bored, so he decides to annoy Adam. Just read it. One-Shot, post The Next Doctor. Spoilers for Series One, Dalek.

Nessie and Jacob were suppose to live happily ever after but when tragedy strikes La Push their plans are crushed and there love is in major jeopardy, how can they possibly deal with the pain of losing one another?

8 years after Breaking Dawn the Cullens are moving. What could possibly happen? Will someone discover their secret? Will they see old friends? Normal pairings. Rated T for mild language. Edward is a tad OOC

Edward and Jacob are lovers. They're meant to be enemies. Throw in families that hate eachother, a pregnant Jacob, a jealous Bella trying to break them up and the Volturi who want to kill Jacob and the child and you have an interesting relationship. MPREG

Edward sighed. "I know exactly how you feel, Ness. I want to give monsters like that the treatment they deserve. For a while, I did, and in doing so, became more of a monster myself. But you, Renesmee, have an ability that I never had--and can never have.

Everything Nessie loves seems to fall into one of two extremes and she wouldn't have it any other way.

The ultiamate list of ways to annoy our favorite charaters. Really funny! R&R

The Doctor and Rose are hearing songs in their heads. They follow the songs with beautiful consequences. Ten/Rose. Post-Dooomsday. Please R&R. COMPLETE! I'm so happy with this.

Dumbledore has started a blog. Read thoughts from Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Snape and even Voldemort! Moderately AU. Coauthored with a friend of mine. Rated T to be safe. COMPLETE!

CrackFic. Dear Diary sister/sequel. "Dear Journal, Got an interesting owl from Malfoy's mum today. Apparently, Voldemort tried to kill Malfoy so she sent him to Anger Management Therapy."

BxE.After Edward leaves Bella. He doesnt come back. She gets pregnant and moves to AZ. Now 20 years later she and her daughter visit Forks and run into Edward. No one knows he's back. What will her daughter think of Edward? What will Edward think of Bella

Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY