Hi!

Sorry about quite how long this is but I like copy and pasting (it's really addictive when you get going!), My name is Chloe and I'm one of the 3% of teenagers in Britain with OCD but hey, at least my bedroom will always be tidy :) I love writing, have a dog, live in England and study English at the University of Exeter.

Some of my older stories most notable the Twilight and Alex Rider ones, are a little horrific to look back on but I don't want to delete them because they show quite how far I've come.

WARNING! copy and pasting area.

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. E.L. Doctorow

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Marilyn Monroe

Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it. Chinese Proverb

(\_/)
(='.'=)This is bunny. Put him in your profile and help him on his way to WORLD DOMINATION! Come to the dark side... we have cookies!

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it?

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back, and yell I WANT JACOB BLACK

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your 3 best friends. If it's not one of them...it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just jumped off a bridge...damn, I'm gonna miss your sorry ass.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going, "We fucked up, huh?"

Keep staring I might do a trick

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put "u" and "i" together.
Woman: Really, I'd put "f" and "u" together.

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8118423151811 = 98

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11141523125475 = 96
But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
120209202145 = 100

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2211212198920 = 103

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1191911919199147 = 118
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

FRIEND:Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIEND:Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIEND: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIEND:Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIEND:Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIEND:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIEND:Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIEND:Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME!

WE ARE SO DOING THAT AGAIN NEXT WEEKEND!"

FRIEND:Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIEND:Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIEND:Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS:Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIEND:Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIEND:Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIEND:Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIEND:Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIEND:Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIEND:Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIEND:Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIEND:You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIEND:Already knows not to tell.

FRIEND:Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIEND:Are for life.

FRIEND:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIEND:Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIEND:Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIEND:Will repost this crappp!!

FRIEND: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

BEST FRIEND: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIEND: Will help me learn to drive

BEST FRIEND: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

FRIEND: Will watch my pets when I go away

BEST FRIEND: Won't let me go away

FRIEND: Will help me up when I fall down

BEST FRIEND: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

FRIEND: Will bail me out of jail

BEST FRIEND: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

FRIEND: Will go to a concert with me

BEST FRIEND: Will kidnap the band with me

FRIEND: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

BEST FRIEND: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

FRIEND: Asks me for my number

BEST FRIENDS: Asks me for her number

FRIEND: Hides me from the cops

BEST FRIEND: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

FRIENDS: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

BEST FRIEND: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

FRIENDS: Fade

BEST FRIEND: Are 4 Ever

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

15 Things to do when your in a shopping centre!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Torchwood, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, idril telperien

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU...If you want this kind of guy, copy and paste this into your profile.

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the to of the tree.

TRUE BOYFRIEND=

When she walks away from you mad
-Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
-Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
-Grab her and don’t let go

When she start's cussing at you
-Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
-Ask her what’s wrong

When she ignore's you
-Give her your attention

When she pulls away
-Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
-Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
-Just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking
-Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
-Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
-Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
-Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
-Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time
-Reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
-Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
-she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
-bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
-keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
-dont look away until she does

When she misses you
-she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
-the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
-she still wants you to be hers

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE SAFELY GOT PAST THE COPY AND PASTE AREA!!

Idril. x