All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter Here

Ahoy! I'm Junior Pirate. I enjoy writing records of what happens to fictional characters. I am a Pirate so if you are viewing this page then congratulate yourself and help yourself to a bottle of virtual rum! Also, by the way I'm a girl.

Update 11/5/11: It has been brought to my attention that I have not updated since I was 13 years old. Yes. Crazy, I know. So just to clarify: I'm still a pirate, happily suffer from JDOCD, adore Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Once Upon a Time in Mexico and performing arts. POTC coming out is the biggest event of my life (yes, I do have one) and I will update Sweeney Odd, A Parody. One Day.

Update 10/7/11: I updated it! Woot!

If you think that Captain Jack Sparrow is the BEST CHARACTER IN PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, copy this and paste it onto your profile!

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Captain Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you agree that rum is for drinking, not burning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you believe in a happy ending for Will and Elizabeth Turner, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have such a big obsession with Captain Jack Sparrow that your friends are afraid to go into your bedroom for fear of not being able to see the walls or ceiling, copy this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile.

If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're putting this in your profile only for entertainment purposes and to make your profile longer than it already is because that's just plain awesome, copy and paste this into your profile to make it longer than it already is by copying and pasting this into the profile you are trying to make longer and yes, I am completely aware that I'm putting all this to make this copy-and-paste a heck of a lot longer than it has to be; I'm just smart like that.

If you have a long bio/profile, and wish to hereby enhance the length of said autobiographical document, copy and paste this to said world wide web page to make said autobiographical document increase in length, number of words, interestingness, and other things which would be known as fun, copy and paste this piece of information to your said autobiographical document.

If you enjoy speaking in wordy sentences like the one above, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you don’t believe in stereotypes, copy this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you know that PIRATES and indeed better than ninjas, please copy.

If you think that Jack Sparrow is the BEST pirate out there! COPY THIS!

I don't care what you say! I AM A PIRATE AND THAT'S THAT! (Copy and paste this in your profile if you are a Pirate!).

If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile. (hums "Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirates Life For Me")

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever sung "I've Got a Jar of Dirt, and Guess What's Inside it" (from Dead Man's Chest) while brushing your teeth or at any other time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If YOU have (or wanted) a jar of dirt, copy and paste! XD

If you have ever heard of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, copy this into your profile. (It's on September 19th)

If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a FaceBook, copy this onto your profile.

If you are planning on being a pirate for Halloween (or were) copy and paste this into your profile.

Now, Disney made the Pirates of the Caribbean films and it was a big success! If you love the POTC series and think that it will soon be a everlasting classic of Disney, copy and paste.

Real talent was the Pirates of the Caribbean people. No talent at all was what started High School Musical. If you think that POTC beats HSM by a long shot, copy and past.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If your one of the people who could perfectly understand Jack Sparrow's confusing rants and when you friend all had confused expressions on their faces you were like, well duh that made perfect sense. Copy this into your profile.

If you wish that Jack Sparrow should run for president one day, copy this. But it might not be very likely, sadly...

Ooh...I like POTC, if you absolutely adore POTC, copy and paste! :D

Weird is good. Normal people need the real help. If you are one of those weird people and are proud of it, copy and paste.

If you went to save Jack just because you missed him, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you had that urge to want to sing "I Got a Jar of Dirt", copy this.

Now here is a fun game! Yay!

1. Lucy Barker

2. Johanna Barker

3. Anthony Hope

4. Sweeney Todd

5. Mrs Lovett

6. Pirelli

7. Judge Turpin

8. Benjamin Barker

9. Mrs Mooney

10. Beadle Bamford

11. Priest

12. Toby

Now for the questions. And just remeber this is about the 2007 movie, not about any of the stage interpretations.

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Pirelli and the Priest? Surprisingly not.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

OMG!!!!!!!! Sweeney, you gorgeous thing!!! Uh, no. I didn't put him fourth on purpose. Why would you think that? Hehe... *slinks away*

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Umm. Well seeing as Toby wasn't even born yet when Ben was around I would be very surprised to say the least.

4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Damn! Why are all the "fic" questions about people like the Priest and Mrs. Mooney?!? Wait... That's actually an interesting couple come to think of it...

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Johanna and Pirelli. At least they have something in common, they can both hit the really high notes.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Eww. How anyone could be in a relationship with Beadle Bamford is beyond me. Being a straight chick, I'm also not usually one much for girl-on-girl action but just this once, hey, why not?

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation?

Turpin would say "Anthony's not young enough for you then? Gee thanks for rubbing it in Johanna, a man can't help his age, you know! *flounces*

8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.

After Turpin marries Johanna, Beadle and Anthony get lonely.

9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?

Lucy and Benjamin? OMG! Yeah!

10. Suggest a plot for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

After losing his Pirelli, Toby searches for a new guardian, but only one wearing tight pants will do.

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?

Umm. In a strike of brilliance, Lucy nominates herself for the reality TV show "How to stop looking like a hag in ten days". She gets a complete makeover and is as hot as she once was. She then waltzes up to Sweeney, introduces herself and the rest is history.

12. Do you read Three slash?

Anthony, huh? My my...*strokes beard* That is a mighty fine idea... I may just have to look into that sometime. BWAHAHAHA!

13. Do you write or draw Eleven?

NO! GET OVER IT ALREADY, HE IS JUST A MINOR CHARACTER!!!

14. Would you write Two/Four/Five?

uh. Ew. No.

15. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

"Harder, Judge Turpin, Harder!" What? Beadle just wants a harder sentence for a criminal in court. Your mind went there, not mine.

16. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Dunno. Something about having a perfect life perhaps.

17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

WARNING: Watch out for jealous Mrs Lovetts or Jealous Benjamin Barkers... Of-course they're both after Pirelli. Who else would it be?

18. What might be a good pick-up/ flirt line for Ten to use on Two?

"Did you know I'm *ahem* 2 years younger than Turpin?"

19. 4 and 8 are in a fight. Who's gonna win?

Benjamin and Sweeney? Sweeney has razors, but Ben has the power of happiness. Can Ben block Sweeney's razors with his happy?

20. Three is caught punishing nine. Why?

Mrs. Mooney never saw it coming that Anthony was a cat person.

Gay marriage:

1) Being gay is not natural. People always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. (Plus, it's not like there's homosexuality elsewhere in nature, such as in species like dolphins, swans, lions, elephants and penguins.)

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why they have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Post this onto your profile if you believe in LEGALISING gay marriage.