SKarD

Hey there! My name is Siria, pronunced like the country, so don't get it wrong(: I like to read fanfics, but I'm not so good at writing them. I LOVE Twilight and I hate when people judge me because of it. I've read each book more than once. I'm not Team Edward, I'm not Team Jacob, so that;makes me Team Switzerland. I love Emmett and Jasper(: I love the Twilight cast, they're hot. Twilight (the movie) SUCKED, but I loved New Moon and I can't wait for Eclipse. My favorite book is The Outsiders by S.E Hinton. Read it, it's AMAZING. I think life doesn't exist without musice. I love Paramore, Kings of Leon, Death Cab for Cutie, The Beatles, Nirvana... too many to list. Every kind of music is my style, except for country. I don't like being labled, I'm not a can. I'm a curios girl, I question EVERYTHING, it's my nature. I have the best friends and sister you could ask for. My favorite color is purple. I'm 13 and I go to Portola MS. I'm in the highly gifted magnet, but I don't know how I got there. I'm currently single and crushing on a certain someone. I'm not too tall and have wavy black hair and big, dark brown eyes. Well, imma go read no(: Bye!

Hello!Apparently siria forgot to mention that she has this account with someone else:( Well Hi. Im Alexandra. Best known as Alex. I LOVE reading. Especially fanfic. There are some seriosly gifted writers out there. Well i loooooveeee twilight. It's one of my favorite books. I am 14 and go to Portola M.S. Im pretty friendly buut cant stand bullshit. I'm wild. I love spending time with my two best friends Rachel and Kassie!I don't know what i would do without them. Music is Life. i like Paramore,Rise Against, The Beatles, Nirvana, and a lot more!!:) i like misic that actually has meaning. i hate rapers singing about drinking all day and having sex all night. It's kinda retarded(no offense to whoever likes it:) Well yeah i'm not to tall not to short. i have brown hair and brown eyes.Plain? i know! My favorite colors are black and red. I love drawing,singing,dancing, and writing! Thats about everything to whoever cares.haha. Bye:

92 percent of teenagers will go with whats popular all the time. If you're part of the 8 percent that dares to be different, copy this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in you head...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile.

People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you haved ever pushed a door that said pull, copy this into your profile.

If you have walked into a room and then absolutely forgotten what you went in there to do, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your best friend (or best guy friend) is insane, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that Hannah Montana is the most annoying person EVER, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed-Im not a can.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

My knight in shining armor turned out to just be a loser in aluminum foil.

I;m so gangster i carry a squirt gun!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I often break out with random dance moves

Words start with ABC, Songs start with DO RA ME, Love starts with YOU AND ME.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.

I don't want no Fanfiction, all I want is bubblegum, bazooka zooka bubblegum!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

You know your in love when the hardest thing to do is say goodbye.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepair to shatter.

If annoyed further, I shall bring death upon you with my lovely cheese grater.

Twilight: because we all secretly own two copies.

Twilight: Because a small part inside of us broke when we realized our boy-friends weren't mythical monsters

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

Oh him? He just has the most ah-dorable eyes you could ever fall for, and the cutest smile that will take your breath away And he has the ability to make you laugh when when the world just wants you to frown.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.If you've practically memorized Chapter 20 (Compromise) of Eclipse, put this on your profile.

for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You know you live in 2008 when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace or a cell phone.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6.) You just tried to defend yourself against the computer by saying something like 'The TV doesnt have buttons anymore!'

7.) You just realised that you were defending yourself against an innanimate object

8.) Your parents can't even survive school anymore. (it is a fact that many 5th graders know geography more than their parents)

9.) You've gotten in trouble at school for sending in a report ful of cht spk typose, nd smily faces

10.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

11.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

12.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

13.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

14.) And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

15.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read,.If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer

If you've had at least one friend move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. (As long as I’ve got my best friend, I’m good!)

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile

If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think rock, paper, scissors solves everything then put this in you’re profile!

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have someone you love as a sister, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever tried to put you foot behind you head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turky-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

You can blame all your problems on two invisible people named 'Juan' and 'Cindy', if you believe this, copy this into your profile. (Yeah, I blame it on Cindy all the time, that's my sister's name;)

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

98 percent of the world's population believe that they're bringing sexy back. Copy and paste this on your profile if you're part of the 2 percent that never lost theirs.

If you've ever cursed really loudly, and then realized that a teacher was standing right behind you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're just jealous because we act retarted in public and people still love us!

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back.you don't determine who has more fun by the colour of their hair,orange is NOT the new pink, and no, my mom DIDN'T do that. so STFU

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot

It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Select my name and press ALT + F4

Confusion is a term for the stupid.

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

Can I have your phone number; I seem to have lost mine

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

If at first you dont succeed, skydiving isn't for you

Everyone has a wild side- me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

rip, slip, brush, ahhhhh

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

"Everything is going to change now, isn't it?" DUH HERMIONE. God.Idiot!

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips

Tu madre. I just burned you. In Spanish. So there.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS

Best Friends: They say they're hard to find and that's cause the best are already mine.

Okay, so... there's this thing called retard-ness and me and my girls, well...we've gone pro.

Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "you had to be there" thing but more as a "you have to be mentally retarded like us" thing.

Best friends know that you're slow, stupid, and like to mess around them yet they still don't care about being seen with you in public because they're idiots, too

know she's socially retarded and weird, but she's my FRIEND...

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

-Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people

-Trying is the first step toward failure

-A friend would bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying "That was fun"

Think About It...

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

if you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

if two wrongs dont make a right, try three

whoever said nothing's impossible, they never tryed slamming a revoling door!

apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.

borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

if quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'

whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

how is it possible to have a civil war?

if a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Why does shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?

Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why is a square meal served on round plates?

Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

Why are Pringles curved?

What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in any thing else?

Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Can bald men get lice??

Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile

My Mother Taught Me…

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul withil

Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

Sorry I am being Chased by 6 Penguins and they seem to want my ButterFinger but damnit they can't have it. So I will be back after I have run them over with my Barbie Car.

The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.

If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.

There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.

Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be

Warning: Do not drink the battery acid. It doesn't taste good and will hurt you. Also do not bite the tires, especially while the bike is moving.Our lawyers made us put these warnings in. -In a manual for a motorcycle

I'm the girl who's not afraid to speak her mind, the girl who only lies to protect her friends.

I'm the girl who's laughing today about something that happened last week.

I'm the girl who's quoting a movie for a month.

I'm the girl who isn't afraid to dance in the street, the girl who breaks out in song in public.

I'm the girl who's sneaking out late to hang out with her friends.

I'm the girl who uses shopping as a therapy technique.

I'm the girl who believes in fairy tales, the girl who thinks that true love is worth fighting for.

I'm the girl who thinks that there's someone out there for everyone, and you just need to work hard and stop at nothing to find that special person.

If you think the Cullen's should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile

While reading Twilight you grabbed a dictionary and looked up the word Ostentatious and now you use it in every sentence even if it doesn't sense.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

Your real name: Siria

2. Your Nobody name (Take all the letters of your first name, mix them around and put an "x" where you think it should go): Sriaix

3. Your Gangsta name (the first three letters of your name plus "izzle"): Sir-izzle

4. Your Detective name (fav. color and fav. animal): Purple Koala

5. Your Soap Opra name (your middle name and the street you live on): Paola Tunney

6. Your Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first): Romsi

7. Your Super Hero name (2nd fav color, fav drink): Red Coke

8. Your Witness Protection name (middle names of your parents): Elizabeth William

9. Your Goth Name (Black plus the name of one of your pets): Black Princess

Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.)(as seen in all-hail-the-jello's profile) (favorites are in italic) (Each time you paste into profile, add one of your own!!)
1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them.
26. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
27. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
28. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
29. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
30. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
31. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
32. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
33. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
34. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
35. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.
36. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
37. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
38. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
39. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
40. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
41. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
42. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
43. Swat at flies that don't exist.
44. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.
45. Lay in the elevator in a sleeping bag with your pillow in your pajamas with one of those eye mask things on, and pretend to be asleep and snore loudly.

15 Things to do when you’re in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "We have a Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.
7.Don’t use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!”
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!
15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination

"REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!!

I'm The Kind of Girl...

I'm the kind of girl who walks into a door and apoligizes.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather act stupid than smart.

I'm the kind of girl who would burst out laughing in a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life.

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.

I'm the kind of girl who can watch TONS of scary movies, but screams at the top of my lugs when the toast comes out of the toaster.

STORY

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Subject: one messed up sleepover
One night these five girls were having a sleepover
when
they heard
chaos at the end of her street they went down to find out what was
happening.
they
learned that a woman was
raped and the man was on the loose.
so they quickly
ran home
and bolt everything down. everything settles
down for a while
then they started hearing weird noises
coming from outside.
they let their minds go wild
so they got scared and hid inside a closet.
the man was really outside and found a window that had a broken
bolt.
he crept in quietly.
the girls were scared crapless.
he walked into the room
and opened the
closet,
the girls screamed and ran in separate directions.
four of the girls went downstairs and the cellar door,that was right above
the bathroom. He caught the
fifth girl
and took her into the bathroom,
raped her,
and skinned her alive.her friends heard her die that
night
but couldnt do anything about it.they listened to her
scratching the door to get
out.
in the morning when he had fled,
the remaining went into the
bathroomThere engraved into the wall was her message:
'how could you have let me die'
they looked up
to get the tears out of their eyes
and saw her flesh
dangling from the knife that skinned her. If you dont repost
this
the man will skin you alive too, because they
havent caught him yet.And the girl will make sure you will
die,
so she can pass on the tale. Fact: A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer.
He
buried her in the ground when she was still alive.
The murderer chanted 'Toma soto
balca' as he buried
her.
Now that you have read the
chant, you will meet
this
little girl.In the middle of the night she will be on your
ceiling.She will
suffocate you like she was suffocated.

If you repost this on your profile she will not bother you

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazyI WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems