If there's one thing I learned while watching Star Wars

It’s that it’s not meant for the edgelords who want everything to be Game of Thrones, who have no appreciation for the plurality of genre for differentiation in stories.

It’s not meant for those who have no appreciation for actual depth, compassion, and optimism, who are unable to appreciate their realness as they do the reality of cruelty and pessimism.

Nor is it for those who have a boner for fascism, cynicism, and nihilism, who have no understanding of what “grey morality” actually means, who actively disparage the idea of hope.

It is not for those envious, miserable little shits who cannot stand that people want to enjoy the content they are given, who seek to have us join them in their cesspit of shallow darkness, senseless twists, and scores of death.

It is not for those who praise mediocrity while styling themselves as profound and intelligent. It is not for those entitled who call fools they who see the naked truth of their uninspired imaginations.

It is not for these people. We deserve better than to have these parasites be catered to at our expense. All of us who love fiction and art deserve better.

Resistance is not terrorism.

Justice is not selfish.

Fascism is not order.

Imperialism is not civilized.

Slavery is not peace.

Genocide is never justified.

My review of the Last Jedi

First things first: if this had not been sold to me as a continuation of the Star Wars saga, I would be much more generous and have given 2.5 stars. But because it not only claims to be Star Wars but fails so spectacularly at being Star Wars, especially a Saga film, I will give it the lowest score possible. Because I was promised Star Wars and Rian Johnson, Lucasfilm, and Disney completely failed to deliver. And because of how horrific that failure was, I demand that The Last Jedi be struck from the canon entirely and that Rian Johnson be fired and barred from working on any Star Wars projects from now on.

I will say that I was spoiled early for the movie before I ended up watching it. When one is spoiled, there are two relatively desirable outcomes - either one says "Damn it I wish I saw that for myself" or "Wow, I really need to see that now." Both are good signs for the movie. Neither is what I felt.

Instead, I dreaded watching this. I had already made plans for it and suddenly I wish I hadn't. I wished I could back out of this without spoiling for my friends and family. The most I could do was warn them that this has the lowest audience rating ever in the franchise and it's only the 9th day out.

For the record, I HAVE seen the movie. And, while my brain did the natural thing and had jumped to the worst possible conclusions regarding the spoilers, my fears and suspicions WERE in fact proven correct.

1st: Basic storytelling 101 - Your protagonists must achieve something by their actions. Honestly, that's a 3 star deduction right there for failing to abide by such a basic rule. I don't know who taught Rian Johnson how to write, but he clearly failed to learn this.

2nd: Disregard for other parts of the franchise - Rian Johnson and the Lucasfilm Story Group that allowed this movie to exist completely ignored characterizations established in previous installations in the lore. I want to make this clear: The Last Jedi is not and never has been a standalone movie. It is a movie situated in a given franchise which provides it with its context. When that context is disregarded, then the media fails as a part of that franchise.

a) Luke Skywalker - Side note: TFA is guilty of this as well, but was otherwise a good movie. TLJ completely disregards Luke "I have to save my mass murdering father" Skywalker's characterization in Return of the Jedi. Do you seriously expect me to believe that he would pull his lightsaber on his own nephew? TLJ completely fails to set up or justify this change of character and expects me to believe that this is the Luke Skywalker I have come to love. If you plan on appealing to our nostalgia for the original trilogy, I will punch you if you end up spitting on it. Consider yourself punched, Rian.

Also, all this talk about romanticizing the Jedi? Luke Skywalker succeeded in turning Darth Vader because he knowingly defied the Jedi. Do your basic research, Rian.

b) Finn - Are you really going to call Finn, the man who at risk of his own life 1) disobeyed a direct order to fire on innocents, 2) freed a Resistance pilot and defected, 3) repeatedly saved Rey, and even went into the heart of Starkiller Base to do so, SELFISH and COWARDLY?!

c) Rey - You’re expecting me to believe that a woman who grew up alone with every reason to be distrustful of people around her who may mean her harm would sympathize with the man who kidnapped, assaulted, and tortured her, invaded her mind - an act analogous to rape - killed his own father, a man Rey was growing to care about as a father figure, nearly killed Finn, the man who lied to the Resistance in order to come back for Rey. Do you really want our kids to think that the relationship between Rey and Kylo is something to emulate? Do we really want them chasing after the people who hurt them and have no interest in becoming better?

d) Poe Dameron - None of his characterization in the comics and especially the Force Awakens justify the characterization here of hot-headed, reckless, glory-seeking to the point that he doesn’t care about the entire bomber squadron that just died. It’s not simply a different interpretation, it’s WRONG. It is completely in error and in opposition to everything previously established. And his interactions with Leia and Holdo are extremely racist, especially when Holdo condescends to him, fails to communicate with him, and expects blind obedience - that characterization, by the way, would fit an Imperial/First Order type than a Rebel/Resistance member. Or has Lucasfilm completely forgotten the point of Star Wars?

e) Chewbacca - The film completely fails to utilize him, especially since his BEST FRIEND JUST DIED! Let me repeat: his best friend, Han Solo, was murdered by his son. You expect me to believe he’d just go along with Rey’s absurd plan? He’s relegated to glorified taxi driver and comedy.

3rd) Sidelining the characters of color to develop and sympathize with an entitled fascist white boy. None of the main characters - including Rey - are actually developed here. Rose Tico was created a) to make Finn look completely incompetent and b) to keep him away from Rey, with whom he had an incredible dynamic with in TFA, all so Rey could grow to sympathize with the a white fascist.

4th) The infantilizing of grown men. Poe’s and Kylo’s arcs are meant for teens/young adults but are given to people in their 30s. Let me repeat: Kylo Ren is not a boy; he is a fully grown adult who partakes in slavery and genocide. Poe Dameron is not a hotshot pilot who is new to his job: he is one of the most experienced members of the Resistance, a former member of the Republic navy, and an officer. You don’t get to the rank of Commander with Rian’s portrayal of foolhardiness.

5th) Inability to stick to a consistent message. It expects us to believe that we have hope and yet dashes our hopes at every turn. No one comes to the Resistance’s aid. Luke Skywalker is now just a myth just thirty years after Endor. You expect me to believe that this one event that cost him his life will sustain the galaxy when just witnessed by a dozen people?

This is a complete mess of a film. You marketed it to Star Wars fans and gave us something that goes against every value Star Wars had. Enjoy it if you want. I might give you a side-eye, but I'll keep silent. But if you refer to the writing in any positive manner, thinking it deep or competent? You have lost my respect as a writer and literary critic.

In light of recent, events, I recommend those who look go into the link

twitter.com/mycielski/status/824105749823574016/photo/1

Some Lines From Tolkien's Legendarium

The Oath of Feanor

"Be he friend or foe, foul or clean, be he bright Vala or brood of Morgoth, Elda or Maia, or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law nor love nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself shall defend him against Feanor and Feanor's kin whosoever hideth or hoardeth or in hand taketh or afar casteth a Silmaril, this swear we all: Death we will deal him ere day's ending, woe unto the ending of the world.

Hear our vow, Eru Iluvatar. To the Everlasting Darkness doom us if our deed faileth. On the Holy Mountain hear in witness and our vow remember, Varda and Manwe."

The Doom of the Noldor

"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed and the Valar will fence Valinor against you and shut you out so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains. On the House of Feanor the Wrath of the Valar lieth from the West onto the uttermost East and upon all who follow them, it shall be laid also. Their Oath shall drive them and yet betray them and shall ever snatch away the very treasures they have sworn to pursue. To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well and by treason of kin unto kin and the fear of treason shall this come to pass. The Dispossessed shall they be forever.

Ye have spilt the blood of thy kindred unrighteously and have stained the land of Aman. For blood ye shall render blood and beyond Aman ye shall dwell in death's shadow. For although Eru appointed to you to die not in Ea and no sickness may assail you, yet slain ye may be and slain ye shall be by weapon and by torment and by grief. And then thy houseless spirits shall come then to Mandos. There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies and find little pity though all whom ye have slain should entreat for you. And those that remain in Middle-earth and come not to Mandos shall grow weary of the world as with a great burden and shall wain and become as spirits of regret before the younger race that cometh after.

The Valar have spoken."

"Utulie'n aure! Aiya eldalie ar atanatarni! Utulie'n aure!"

"The day has come! Behold, people of the eldar and father's of men! The day has come!"

- the rallying cry of Fingon the Valiant, High King of the Noldor, at the beginning of Nirnaeth Arnoediad

"Aure entuluva!"

"Day shall come again!"

- the battle cry of Hurin Thalion as his people held the armies of Morgoth at bay at the end of Nirnaeth Arnoediad

"Evil have been thy ways, son of Húrin. Thankless fosterling, outlaw, slayer of thy friend, thief of love, usurper of Nargothrond, captain foolhardy and deserter of thy kin. As thralls thy mother and sister live in Dor-lomin, in misery and want. Thou art arrayed as prince, but they go in rags; and for thee they yearn, but thou carest not for that. Glad may thy father be to learn that he hath such a son; as learn he shall."

-Glaurung to Turin at the Sack of Nargothrond, Narn i Chin Hurin

"Turin Turambar - turun ambartanen. Master of Doom - by Doom mastered. Oh happy to be dead."

- Nienor Niniel, Narn i Chin Hurin

"And in that hour, the trumpets of Numenor outrang the thunder."

- Akkalabeth - the Downfall of Numenor, the Silmarillion

"You will give me the Ring freely! In place of a Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!"

- Galadriel, upon being presented with the One Ring

We renounce our maker.

We cleave to the darkness.

We take unto ourselves the power and glory.

Behold! We are the Nine!

The Lords of Unending Life.

- English translation of Howard Shore's Revelation of the Ringwraiths

I am the Bright Lord of Mordor

The silver hand that drives back the darkness

Reaching through the fog of night

To avenge those long betrayed

Arise from fields of death

And march forth from the shadow

Through the purifying flames of war

You who were once Eldar shall be reforged

Beneath my hammer

The Bringer of Gifts, the Betrayer shall be unmade

I renounce the Blessed Realm

To redeem the Land of Shadow

And bind the walls of Arda

In place of the Dark Lord

You shall have light undiminished

All shall fear me and rejoice

- Celebrimbor's completed Ithildin puzzle in Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor

My stories' statuses:

Crossovers:

The Jedi and the Rider - Inheritance X-over with Star Wars. Due to a navicomputer malfunction, Anakin, Obi-wan, Ahsoka, Padme, and Satine have crashed on Alagaesia. They are soon discovered by the Varden who try to enlist their help in the war against Galabtorix. Now they find themselves involved in a war that may ultimately change the course of their lives and the lives of the people of Alageasia forever.

Status: On hiatus (will be rewritten to incorporate a clearer plot in mind and recent events in TCW)

Hate, Despair, Tragedy: Two stories of tears - Silmarillion X-Over with Noli Me Tangere. Two men, wandering the shores of Europe. One, an outcast from the society he loved. The other, the last of his kind. Both have been caught up in ate, despair and tragedy. When they meet, they both discover another story of tears.

Status: Complete (it's a one-shot, and will stay a one-shot)

Status: under going a slight rewrite; will not be reposted until I have eight chapters to my satisfaction with a plan ahead for at least half the story.

My upcoming stories' statuses:

Naruto: Rewritten - Essentially, Naruto as I would have written it. Luckily, unlike Kishimoto, I am not constrained to weekly releases so I can afford to delay in order to ensure a consistent and enjoyable story. Will be broken up into several stories, functioning side-by-side chronologically. I make no commitments to imitate Kishimoto's writing style in any way.

Overall status: being planned out, Most POV characters determined, OCs under construction

Word of warning: Lots of OCs involved. If this isn't your cup of tea... well, I will do my best to make my OCs good and likable.

Random:

.:FIRE:.
You have a short temper.
You often act on your emotions without thinking first.
You are very competitive.
You like to play with fire.
You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all.
You prefer warm weather over cold weather.
You often lose control over yourself.
You can be quite reckless.
You sometimes hurt people without realizing it.
People have often called you insane.
Total: 3

.:WATER:.
You have a calm, laid-back personality.
You like to go to the beach.
You rarely get angry.
When you do get angry, you know how to control it.
You think before you act.
You are good at breaking up fights.
You are a good swimmer.
You like the rain.
You can stay calm in stressful situations.
You are very generous.
Total: 3

.:EARTH:.
You are physically strong.
You have a close connection with nature.
You don't mind getting dirty.
You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
You could easily survive in the wild.
You care about the environment.
You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
You rarely get depressed.
You aren't afraid of anything.
You prefer to have a strict set of rules.
Total: 6

.:AIR:.
You have a free spirit.
You hate rules.
You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
You hate to be restrained.
You are very independent and outgoing.
You are quite intelligent.
You tend to be impatient.
You are easily distracted. (depending on what distracts me)
You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
You wish you could fly.
Total: 4

.:DARKNESS:.
You spend most of your time alone
You prefer nighttime over daytime.
You like creepy things.
You like to play tricks on people.
Black is your favorite color.
You prefer the villains over the heroes in movies, TV shows, video games, etc.
You don't talk much.
You are atheist.
You don't mind watching scary movies.
You love to break the rules.
Total: 2

.:LIGHT:.
You are very polite.
You are spiritual.
When someone is in trouble, you never hesitate to help them.
You believe everything you see or hear.
You are afraid of the dark.
You hate violence.
You hope for world peace.
You are generally a happy person.
Everyone loves to be around you.
You always follow the rules.
Total: 6

So I am 3 parts Fire, 3 parts Water, 6 parts Earth, 4 parts Air, 2 parts Darkness, and 6 parts Light. Yes, I'm Light and Earth dominant.