FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

Girl Talk (girls only, duh!)
Did you know kissing is healthy?
It’s good to cry.
Chicken Soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
Only apply mascara to your top lashes.
It is actually true, boys do insult you when they like you!
It is impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. (P.S. I'm not so sure about this one.)
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
White Chocolate will make you feel better!
Most boys think it’s cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide hickeys!...not that you have any.
Boys aren’t worth your tears.
We all love surprises!

The Difference Between Friends and Best Friends
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

A Poem:
Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Everyone has their sides, but what matters is the side you use the most. -The Possible

"A bell is not a bell until you ring it, a song is not a song until you sing it, and love was not put in your heart there to stay; love isn't love until you give it away." -Ivy Harrison

"Crying doesn't indicate that you're weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you're alive." -unknown

To MY Best Friends

1: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first

2: Like the friend I am, I'll always tell you what you want to hear, "YOU RETARD!" high five

3: "Holy crap girl you should've seen yourself!" you ask "see what?" "You know... That party?" you blink "Oh yea, I forgot. Chocolate makes you forget." you scream "why didn't you stop me?!" "Uhhh, duh? You think we're gonna waste all the money we used to buy the chocolate? Girl! We don't waste crap!"

4: We so hot, we make fire stop, drop, and roll!

5: Now that I think about it, all the bad things I've gotton into trouble for, I was with you.

6: "What?! Your boyfriend broke up with you?! What, is he gay or something?"

7: White bread =D

8: Too many inside jokes to explain, just laugh.

9: OMD!!

10: Understand, you will never.

MESS WITH THE BULL YOU GET THE donkey...

GRANT A WISH UPON A lar...

IM NOT SLOW, YOU JUST CAN'T SEE ME FAST ENOUGH minute later: OH!! NOW I GET IT!

A Mexican man walks into a bar.

Please note that he's the *only* Mexican person there and all the other guys are white.

Suddenly one of the white guys walks up to the Mexican guy and says...

"Hey you! Colored men aren't allowed, much less welcome here!"

Then, the Mexican guy turns around and says to the white guy...

"Hey pendejo [spanish slang for idoit] ... When I was born, I was brown!"

"When I grew up, I was brown!"

"When I am sick, I'm brown!"

"When I'm in the sun, I'm brown!"

"When I'm in the cold, I'm brown!"

"And when I die, I'll still be brown!"

"But on the other hand you, pendejo, when you were born, you were pink!"

"When you grew up, you were white!"

"When you're sick, you turn yellow or even green!"

"When you're in the sun, you turn red!"

"When you're in the cold, you turn blue!"

"And when you die, you'll turn purple!"

"And you have the nerve and the balls to call me a "colored man!?" Ha ha!"

Pass it on...

(Note that I'm not racist. I'm Mexican myself. I just found this joke in some latino guy's myspace page and so since I thought it was pretty funny, I decided to translate it to English and post it here.)

The second richest person in the world is Carlos Slim Helu and he's Mexican*

If my life had a song theme to it, the JAWS theme would come on everytime I see you.