![]() Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter. You don't have to know my name.I love Harry Potter, Percy Jackson Series, The Hunger Games Series, Divergent Trilogy and a little of Twilight. Let's not forget that I am a huge fan of Prince of Tennis cuz it ROCKS! I am 13 years old and I live in the Philippines. I am a Dramione fan, Fremione fan and a Harmony fan for Harry Potter. A Percabeth fan in Percy Jackson series and a Katniss and Peeta fan for Hunger Games. For Divergent I am a Four and Tris fan. When I read Twilight fics, Bella is paired up with anyone just NOT Edward cuz he sucks!!! Percy Jackson Pledge: I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says "free pony ride" I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car. Yes, I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go So all may see my obsession because I know what the Olympians know! NORMAL PEOPLE/PJO FANS: NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile You say vampires, I say DEMIGODS! You say Rob Pattinson, I say LOGAN LERMAN! You say Bella and Edward, I say Percy and Annabeth! You say Team Edward, I say Team Percy! You say Bella, I say ANNABETH! You say Jacob, I say NICO! You say Forks, I say Camp HB! BEAT THAT TWILIGHT FANS! PERCY JACKSON PWNZ! Harry Potter Countdown 10 years... 9 Weasleys... 8 movies.. 7 books... 6 Defense Against the Dark Arts Teachers... 5 Order Members Dead... 4 Houses... 3 Deathly Hallows... 2 Wizards to Duel... 1 Story that affected the Generations... Credits go to my classmate: Soleil Luna FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying BEST FRIENDS: Already has the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!" FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his butt FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night BEST FRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you in the process FRIENDS: Will be embarassed when all goes silent and you start to sing the song that has been stuck in your head for days BEST FRIENDS: Will be singing along with you FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping with you FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them BEST FRIENDS: kick your butt and all's forgiven FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick BEST FRIENDS: Are there when you're sitting in a bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and scare the Hell out of him by threatening to break every bone in his body if he hurts you FRIENDS: Will tell you they know how you feel BEST FRIENDS: Will sit down and cry with you FRIENDS: Ask nicely for your stuff BEST FRIENDS: Just shout "GIMME" it FRIENDS: Wait to call you at a reasonable hour BEST FRIENDS: Will call you at two in the freaking morning FRIENDS: Won't let you do stupid things BEST FRIENDS: won't let you do stupid things 'alone'. «FRIENDS: Will take you to buy a pregnancy test «BEST FRIENDS: Will stand outside the bathroom screaming "NAME IT AFTER ME!" FRIENDS: Will buy you lunch BEST FRIENDS: Will eat yours FRIENDS: will come and ask you to get a drink with her if some strange boy grabs you on the dance floor and you need an 'out'. BEST FRIENDS: Will push herself in between you and the punk, wrap her arms around you, and say. "I'm sorry she's here with me, find your own date." FRIENDS: Will not try anything that will embarass you while near your crush. BEST FRIENDS: Will cackle evily and try to push you 'by accident' into him while standing next to him. FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this BEST FRIENDS: Would repost this crap FRIENDS: Fade BEST FRIENDS: Are forever Sometimes I wish this were true.. Harry Potter Ten Commandments 1. I am the best book out there, you shall have no better ones than I. 2. You shall not take Harry Potter's name in vain. 3. Remember to keep release dates calendared. 4. Honor the wizards for gracing you with their presence. 5. You shall not kill squibs or muggle-borns. 6. You shall not love both Harry and Draco equally. (Even if you know you love Draco more.) 7. You shall not steal Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows from fellow fans to see how they will react when they can't read the end. 8. You shall not lie, for Dumbledore will know that you did anyways. (Curse that Veritaserum!) 9. You shall not covet Draco Malfoy. (After all, he belongs with Hermione.) 10. You shall not covet Harry's Firebolt, or his Invisibility Cloak Harry's the bravest Ron's the most oblivious Hermione's the smartest Ginny's the toughest Neville's the clumsiest Luna's the weirdest Dumbledore's the greatest McGonagall's the strictest Snape's the greasiest Nick is the ghostiest Crabbe's the largest Goyle's the dumbest Fred is the funniest Cho is the sappiest But Draco Malfoy can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone else jealous!!! :) Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. As I lay me down to sleep I ask you please these words do keep As I die before you wake Tonight my life is the one I take Little did you know little did you see That this is the way the end would be I learned so much yet not enough No ones here to call my bluff So one by one pill after pill All this is done because I had free will This is a reminder I was not insane A year from now will you remember my name? Tell me now will you shed a tear? This being your fault is your only fear Fine then I'll tell you the truth. Only I warn you now it's backed up by proof Some of you probably won't want to hear Well I'm sorry but you wanted to know why dear So, sit back now while I tell you my tale See through my heart there is this nail It takes the place of heartbreak, pain and sorrow This is why for me there is no tomorrow Now listen carefully while this story is told All my life people have perceived me as bold Little did they know I'd be the first to let go Don't blame yourself you didn't know That's because I hid my pain quite well Every time you asked I would never tell How the words tore apart my heart But now to begin where can I start Maybe the times I was tossed aside You never knew because of my pride How about all the times I cried alone Then again how could you my pain was never shown Or how I tend to dwell on the past And all of the things I wanted to last All the times nothing went my way What about the hurtfully words people say How I learned that love is but a lie You never knew but each day was a struggle to get by For every time I was told that my dreams were a joke And for every criticism that they spoke What about all the times I made a mistake All of the choices I was forced to make How all I've ever known is doubt Why can't I figure out what my life is about? For every time I've been heartbroken And for all of the words I should have spoken But now finally all my pain will go away Just remember for you tomorrows another day Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow, Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home, Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say, What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone, And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all, About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats. One by one the teacher called, a student from the class, To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare, Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their. "Where's her daddy at?" She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day." The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom, And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak, And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique. "My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away, But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know, All about my daddy and how he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike, He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone, And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone. 'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart, I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart." with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest, Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears, Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life, Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd, She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much; he's my shining star, And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year, When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away," And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise, A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside, Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side. "I know you're with my daddy," to the silence she called out, And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt. Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed, But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose. And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star, And given the gift of believing that heaven is never too far. by: CatnipHThorne The Harry Potter Pledge If I get a facial scar, I'll think of Harry P And if my brothers take all control I'll think of Ron Weasley If my hair is like a bush I'll think Hermione G Or if I feel too overworked I'll think of poor Dobby And if I feel just like a snoot I'm Draco M that day If I am simply just a hoot I'm Hedwig all the way If I feel way too wise and old I'll think of Dumbledore Or I'll be dear old Neville L Any time I snore I'll think of Hagrid every time The food is just too bad And Voldemort will fill my mind Whenever I am mad My blood will run gold every time That I am truly brave Or I'll be a Marauder When I simply can't behave Sevy Snape will be my guy When love is complicated And I'm Delores Umbridge When I am simply hated Hogwarts is my only home Until I'm cold and dead And when I put down one of the books It won't be left unread I pledge my life to Harry P And the magic world around Cuz JKR has touched my life And to Harry James Potter, I am bound Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is. Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’. Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever. Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hogwarts has seen in a while. Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her. Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’. Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy … disagrees. Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Ron Weasley … is very afraid. Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much. Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat. Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out. George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry. Oliver Wood... has heard every single joke possible about his name. No, that is not a challenge. Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter. James Potter … doesn’t believe her. Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’. Sirius Black … Escaped Azkaban, evaded Dementors, outwitted Ministry, killed by drapery. Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences. Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane. Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush. Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’. Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence. Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet. Things I am not to do at Hogwarts 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month" 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand 11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it 16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day" 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate 27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways 28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's" 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends" 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween 46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions 48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet 49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice 50) I will not attack my fellow classmates 51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area Other Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts: 1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals 4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches 5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!" 6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice. 12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library. 15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause. 17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord. 18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. 19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it. 20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class. 23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “ 29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. 30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. 40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient. 42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 43) I may not have a private army. 44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 46) I am not the wicked witch of the west. 47) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 48) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 49) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors. 51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 54) - Especially not all of them at once. 55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts." 56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos." 57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter. 59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms. 63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. 67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. 68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles. 71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume. 75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes. 76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times. 79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade 81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry 82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall 83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” 84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”. 85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams. 86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation. 87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such. 88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit. 89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room. 90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks. 92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks. 93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. 94) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car. 95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine. 96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”. 97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become. 98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be. 99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S. 100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha. 101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts. 104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever. 105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones. 106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean. 107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy". 108) Even if he is. 109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk. 110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward. 111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid. 112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present. 113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed. 114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do. 115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge. 116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum. 117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin. 118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'. 119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair. 120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either. 121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul. 122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory. 123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod. 124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike. 125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living. 126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts. 127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball. 128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such. 129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise. 130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes. 131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning. 132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White." 133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "AHHH! It's an albino dementor!" 134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas. 135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye." 136) To which I am not allowed to reply. 137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'. 138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises. 139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related. 140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately. 141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit. 142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!" 143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger. 144) Portable swamps are not funny. 145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters. 146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms. 147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps. 148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this everytime I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me. 149) My patronus is not a Nazgul. 150) Neither is my animagus form. 151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 152) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears. 153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble. 154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills. 155) No part of the school uniform is edible. 156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible. 157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short". 158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect. 159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June. 160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'. 161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'. 162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin. 163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it. 164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do. 165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine. 166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night." 167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years. 168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent. 169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin. 170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity. 171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden. 172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it. 173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror". 174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate. 175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond. 176) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either. 177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is. 178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney. 179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark. 180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood. 181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions. 182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments. 183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign. When you see Harry Potter,...you think of Percy with glasses. You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?" When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters.(hehe, did that) You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear ( I BREATHE percabeth.) The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?” You have an instant crush on Nico! You just have to research more about greek mythology. Most of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over. ( Pjo and the unknown world :D) You own every single book.(duh) You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Thief told the truth, and the PJO series is real. ( IT IS!!! IT IS!!!) If you think LEO VALDEZ IS THE MOST AWESOME SON OF HESPHETEUS EVER, copy & paste this on your profile. Girls Three Chances:
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