Hello! My name is Mudz, (which is easier to say than Maru) and I'm a fanfictioner-er um... -er.

I also go by the penname Alakon - Lord of Bunnies and Fluffybumlover. Ahem. I'd rather not get into that story.

Anywhoos, I'm just so excited about popping onto this forum for the first time that I'm going to post some very self-serving propaganda about myself as follows:

I'm 21, I'm a dude, and IMAH SEXEH BITCH! YEAH! Well, two outta three's good enough for me.

Please hold... Reality will be back in a moment.

Okay, here's some real stuff that I'll tell you under the pretence that someone will actually read and care. But that's okay because I'm a narcassist with an invincible ego, and chances are I will read my profile many many times in self-perpetuated ejaculation of effusive affection and love.

I AM 21 (and a dude), at least at the time that I am typing this, I live in New Zealand (which is NOT a state of Australia), and I am currently going to film school. I don't know why, since I am already gifted with absolute brilliance and awesomeness of a ridiculous nature, and I'm sure that I could go out into the world and instantly land a multi-million funded project.

In my spare time I go to pubs to attract the amorous attentions of the fairer sex, but seeing as I'm (don't laugh) religious it can never go past neck level, which causes the rest of my body to rise up in jealous rage and act out to get attention.

I loooooooooooooooooove to write stories. Absolutely love it. I'm also ridiculously in love with Starcraft, so unsurprisingly I working on a Starcraft fanfic right now. I also have some of my own stuff that I want to get cracking on when I'm out of film school and re-earning my money, on the off chance that a publisher likes it as much as I do.

My ego doesn't go so far though to allow me to say that I am the greatest writer who ever put pen to paper; mainly because I use a laptop, but also because I'm amateur. Very amateur. But exceptionally eager to learn. My voracious need to learn to be a better writer combined with a rock hard exterior of flame proof egotism makes me the greatest listener in the world to critique. Even if you inform me that my writing skills have induced a net-wide epidemic rash of inexplicable deaths to rival the black plague, I will still glow with the smug satisfiaction of a shameless attention-seeker recieving attention from other people he may or may not admire.

Hold on, I'm getting very distracted, I put 'The Negotiator' on and it's up to a good part. Please hold. Btw, Kevin Spacey owns. A chick at school reckons he's hot, but I won't go so far as to express sexual attraction to him. I'll go far as to say that Kevin Spacey on Good, Decent Criminals (or whatever it was) made me wet my pants.

Woot! That was mean! I love this movie! As well as a dozen other videos (yes video, though funny tape things that people used to put in things call VCR'. Can you tell I'm poor?) that I recently watched. I love good old fashion shameless action/comedies or just plain good movies like 'The Negotiator'. 'True Lies' is also up there.

Um. Other Hobbies? Guess I'll put that down.

Rubgy (football for you Americans I think), as well as whatever other casual sports is going on. Erm. GAMES! I love to play games, though I don't have any at the moment, but I do spend a lot of time reverse engineering them, with vast huge ambitions to revolutionise gaming... as soon as I get around to it.

Ooooo... Samuel Jackson is angry! Grr! Lol, he's so black.

I also like to jetski, kayak, climb stuff, fall off stuff, hurt myself, get it on tape, laugh at it, and absolutely positively irritate girls. That last one is probably my favourite. If I don't want a girl as a prospective girlfriend, I'll irritate the rage out of her. If I do like her, then I'll just shamelessly flirt with her and see where I get. It was about a 90 success rate where I used to live, but up here in Auckland (NZ's big city) it's dropped to about 50 as girls are a little more self-respecting. :) Kidding. I'll settle for hugs though.

This is fun! I should have joined fanfiction ages ago so I could write this big blog of drivel, I can understand why people spend so much time on the net now! (I only just got internet.)

I like dogs, (nothing to do with my nickname/pen name), I'm a Maori (local man of colour and dubious morals), and I am capable of writing ridiculous blocks of text on subjects that interest me. In this case... myself.

Favourite songs? Whatever I can remember. Mostly old fashioned stuff. STEVIE WONDER! I sing his ALL THE TIME! Something you'll learn if you evah meet me. I also have this strange habit of singing at the top of my voice when walking through crowded places, and have sung the song at least twice before realising I'm attracting attention to myself.

I'm also addicted to making bad jokes (mostly about black people) according to a certain person at school. cough Joytika cough. Just in case you didn't get that it was: Joytika. :D She's black.

BAD JOKE DETECTED

Why did the black man cross the road?

A - To get to the other side.

Why did the white man cross the road?

A - To get his bike back.

Lol, that's actually a good joke, but it's shamelessly ripped off a classic one. I'll take credit for it though! It made me rofl through about two years of college.

Rofl. Lol. Has this epidemic of actually saying this acronyms caught on anywhere else, out of curiousity? The first time I came up to Aucks and heard someone actually say a sequence of letters that was designed for purely visual identification, I honestly couldn't believe it. To hear someone actually say 'lol' makes me lol. I've gotten used to it though, but I still rofl.

Roflcopter is my favourite. :)

By the way, if you are still reading this I admire your stamina. Just for that I'll sing you a song!

"Cos Mud Dog... Mud Dog's the King,

da da da da da da da!

He's got a big ding-a-ling!

da da da da da da da!

And Mud Dog! He likes to sing!

da da da da da da da!

About his thing, yeah!"

You are either emotionally scarred for life, or intrigued by the possibilities.

Based on the song "So Good" by the Godfather of Soul I reckon. So Good! Dun dun! So Good! etc.

One thing about myself I am not proud of however. It's absolutely tragic. A thing of which causes me to have long and introspective thoughts.

I cry for the women who I bring to tears, I mourn for the men who can never measre up again, I pity the children who are left with only regret.

That is right. I am not proud of my awesomeness, my pure testoterone-powered masculinity. For with Mudz in the world, what man can ever hope to compete? What women can ever be satisfied again? What child will ever respect and honour another? None who had witnessed me and given testimony to my glory.

Glorify Me, for I Am Greatness.

I started my own side religion to prove it. Current members of the Mudz Faith number: 4, and expanding.