Well hello there lets just get this over and done with.

Little sayings and crap.

Sometimes I wonder,"Why is this frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!.

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five pounds for the refill. It contained the antidote.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you jus sit there.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and she got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so mutch.

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in heck would you keep looking for it if you already found it?.

Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

There are three kinds of people in this world; ones that can count and ones that cant count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?.

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

What I really need is minions...

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?.

A person who smiles in crisis has found someone to blame.

7/5 of all people do not understand fractions.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not MY fault I never learned to accept responsibility!.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Is it good if a vacum rearly sucks? (Or if a vampire really sucks for that matter?).

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Borrow money form pessimists--they don't expect it back.

Change is good, but pounds are better.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking.

If this saying did not exist, someone would have invented it.

Why get even when you can get odd?.

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

Why is it called "After dark" when it's really "After light"?.

Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

It was all so different before everything changed.

If time is on your side, whats on the other?.

How is it that "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?.

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?.

LADIES don't start fights, we FINISH them.

Do you remember when Pluto was a planet? Yeah, those were the days...

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?.

Do not walk behind me, for I mat not lead. Don not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.

Do not walk besides me, either. Just leave me the heck alone!.

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."

"Where am I to go, now that I've gone to far?.

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."

Whatever woman do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?.

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Reasons girls are the best.

1: We got of the Titanic first.

2: We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3: Our boyfriend's clothes make us look gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4: We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5: We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6: We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7: Taxies stop for us.

8: Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9: We don't look like a frog in a blender when danceing.

10: Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies...(You get the point).

11: We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12: We can our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13: New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14: It's possible to live our whole lives without ever takeing a group shower.

Hope you enjoyed these weird things if you want to contact me just email me at vampirenecowarrier@gmail.com or PM me bye XP.