Also I have just finished my House of Night fanfic. Please read and review xxx

WARNING!: The profile of this author is not for the fainthearted. GrasshopperBaby is officially insane, and any investigation of this profile is done at your own risk. Thank you!

Name: Guess!!
Age: 14 nearly 15
Family: Mum, Dad and no siblings
Hobbies: Climbing!!!!!!
Dislikes: Homophobia
Likes: Reading, Climbing, Music, Doc Martens, Converse, Shirts and Artsy stuff!
Favourite books: House of night, Dark touch, Hunger Games, My blood approves and Bunny suicides!
Favourite films/TV: Harry potter, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Strictly come Dancing, Hunger Games, Vampires suck, Italian job and Land of the lost.
Favourite music: Fun, The Script and James Blunt

Copy an Paste

Copy and paste this to your profile if you want a kitten.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you are a cat person and don't give a damn about dogs.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you hate homophobes and think gay marriage should be legal.

If you have ever said something only to have your friend say 'well... that was random,' copy this into your profile.

93 per cent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile..

Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. 1% are pushing Justin off the building. If you are part of that 9 or 1%, copy and paste this into your profile.

A white man said "No coloured people allowed here." And the black man said. "When I was born I was black, when I grew up I was black, when I am sick I am black, when I go out in the sun I am black, when I am cold I am black, when I die I'll be black, but you, you. When you were born you were pink, when you grew up you were white, when you are sick you are green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you are cold you are blue, and when you die you'll be purple and you dare to call me coloured?" The black man sat down and the white man walked away. If you're against racism copy and paste this into your profile.

The next time someone says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me ." Hit 'em with a dictionary and say, "WHAT NOW BITCH?!"

The next time somebody says 'you suck' say back to the person 'not for free'.

Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

SEX. Ok now that I have your attention lets talk about penguins

I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FIRE TRUCK of course!!

GET OUT OF MY HAPPY PLACE BEFORE I RIP YOUR ARM OFF.

If you met my family, you'd understand.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

Guns don't kill people, but they sure do help. If you stood around shouting "BANG BANG!" and pointing your fingers at people, you wouldn't kill very many.

I may look calm, but in my head I've already killed you three times.

All the good men in this world are either gay, taken, way out of your league or fictional characters. Copy if True.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

You're jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee

Random stuff

"It's very dear to me, the issue of Gay marriage. Or, as I like to call it: 'marriage'. You know, because I had lunch this afternoon, not gay lunch. I parked my car; I didn't gay park it." Liz Feldman

So many pedestrians, so little time...

The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceeds to tell you exactly why it isn't

Did you know that if you rearrange the words mother-in-law then you get Woman Hitler?

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MUM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “B, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

ABOUT YOU

2. Nick names? grasshopper and fox
3. Eye color? Blue
4. Zodiac sign? pieces
5. Male or female? Female. GIRL POWER!
6. Slut? Hell no
7. Smart? deffo not
8. Hair color? Blonde
9. Long or short? Mediumish
10. Sweats or Jeans? Jeans but only if they are sassy
11. Phone or Camera? Phone. We are inseparable
12. Drink or Smoke? Neither. I'm underage.
13. Righty or lefty? LEFTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIRSTS:

1. First best friend? Kit-Kat
2. First crush? Can't remeber
3. First pet? Tigger and Munchkin (cats)
4. First big vacation? France

CURRENTLY:

1. Eating? AIR
2. Drinking? Nothing.
3. I'm about to: Finish this thing.
4. Listening to? Face the sun, James Blunt
5. Plans for today?Watch Strictly come dancing results show

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

1. Shorter or taller? Taller. But not too much taller so I go on tippy toes when kissing.
2. Romantic or spontaneous? Both!! I know I will never find the 'perfect one'
3. Sensitive or loud? Sensitive. I get loud from my friends
4. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship. I don't hook up.

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Drank bubbles? Um...
2. Lost glasses/contacts? Sunglasses are always walking away from me
3. Ran away from home? No. I'm too wimpy to survive outside my house.
4. Broken someone's heart? I god hope not
5. Been arrested? No I am a good girl!!!! BULLSHIT

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

1. Miracles? Yep how else would I have such amazing friends
2. Yourself? Sort of?
3. Heaven? No I think we turn into worm food when we die
4. Santa Claus? Not anymore dad ruined it last year
4. Love? Yes.
5. Do you like someone? Yes he is unbelievably gorgeous
6. Do you believe in God? No
7. Answered the truth on all questions? Yes i'm honest... well on fanfiction I am.

Favorite Fanfiction quotes

"It was just a doctor, a passed out detective, a pissed off inspector, two moody sergeants and Anderson" Best Nativity Ever!, burntheheart

"If he wanted to be surrounded by idiots, he would of stood in the middle of Glasgow. Oh ha. He never liked the Scottish" Law is boring, burntheheart

Then you should woman up and stop being such a man" Matt, Karen and Moffat's Desk, Livs Torres

Stuff my crazy friends have said/done

"You're such a noise slut!" NamiNavigator

Tutu sneezed in her sleep

"I wonder what Voldemort would look like with a Hitler moustache?" Kiki

"NOOOOOO, my latex glove!!" GrasshopperBaby