Greetings fellow bored humans. If you're reading this then unlike me you actually care to look at the profile of the writer whose story you just favorited/followed/discovered/hate. Hopefully you are also like me in the fact that you can't stand the half-a*ed attempts at writing that can be found here that lack even basic sentence structure, punctuation, or grammar. For those of you writing in English and don't have the excuse that "English is not my first language" I find this to be most...displeasing. Join me my fellow Grammar Nazis and fight against the tyranny that is Improper Grammar!

Somewhat insane rant over with, this is the part where I talk about myself. Hi! I'm a very amateur writer with more plot bunnies hopping around in my head than Great Depression era Oklahoma. I'm an Electronics Technician Seaman in the United States Navy, the greatest Navy this world has ever seen and don't let the British or Spanish tell you otherwise. Like every other service member in the armed forces I refuse to be in uniform when I don't need to be unless I get home late and decide that getting out of a uniform kept secure ENTIRELY by buttons is too much work. I love Warhammer 40K, Star Wars before Disney and EA got a hold of it, think that Soccer is for germaphobes and drama queens, despise all politicians (ironic considering my employers), and I know for a fact that Tom Brady cries like a little b*h on the inside if a defense hits him more than seven times in the first quarter.

If you're here for overpowered Self Inserts or those stories where the writer gets a sudden case of Tourette's and throws every power and piece of gear or, in the case of anime where there is a hybrid of ANY kind, every species in one body together and THEN makes them overpowered go away now. Go on. Get. Bad dog! That's not a story that's vomit! Plot vomit I say! I like my characters sarcastic, reasonably competent, loves only one woman (because let's be honest I don't care who you are the actual romantic demands of just ONE woman is enough, forget a harem that you have actual feelings for), and isn't naïve enough to believe that the bad guy can be redeemed through the power of friendship or some other such trope.

Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth, blood for blood. If you think it works any other way then go cry to the Justice League who have indirectly killed more people than...insert mass murderer. The world is shades of grey, not black and white. If Batman had the balls to kill the Joker and acknowledge that by doing so that he saves lives then Barbara Gordon would still be alive, or at least able to walk, and the Red Hood would never have been a thing. And let's not get started on the bleeding a*hole that is the Social Justice Warriors movement and any tree-hugger organization that thinks HUNTING IS THE SAME THING AS POACHING! The modern world is too small for animals to live in coexistence with mankind and NOT be managed by hunters or Fish and Game. I'm sorry but rabbits breed like rabbits and eat all of their own food then starve. And mountain lions don't give a f*k that you spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on lawyers, that would be better spent on habitat preservation, when it eats your kid right in front of you. Neither does that bear that a mother shot before it got into her house and saw her children as food, you know the one that you all sent hate mail to.

But enough about my ranting about the idiocy of society for real this time. You're here for my stories. Well people I don't care if you use my plots, but if I find the story copied word for word and claimed as your own I will call you on it. If you plagiarize my s*t I'm going to call you out on it. And I have copies of all my s*t with time stamps so good luck proving that you started writing it before me.

Thank you for your time.