Hello all!!! I may or may not post erratically because of school as well as ADHD and coming up with new and fresh ideas. While I appreciate constructive criticism please don't flame of just insult me for my pairings EX: Natsu x Erza.

Favorite TV ShowDoctor Who

Favorite Anime: Fairy Tail

Favorite Book Series: Discworld

Favorite Pairing: Tie between Erza x Natsu and Male Warden x Alistair

Favorite Video Game Series: Dragon Age

Favorite Song (at the moment): Guren no Yumiya

Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, SAO, Soul Eater, Skyrim, Mass Effect 1-3, Dragon Age Origins/II, Dragons Dogma, Ratchet and Clank, Minecraft, Jak and Daxter, Attack on Titan, Lord of the Rings, Bleach, Fairy Tail, Fallout, Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heros of Olympus, and many more to be added as I discover them or think of them.

So yeah, I am ADHD and I write sloppily sometimes because my thoughts flow faster than I can Type and I have an odd sense of humor, to boot. I write stories because I want to put them out there and have people see them and also to cement the events in my mind

ways to really annoy people:

1. Name your dog 'Dog'.

2. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

3. Begin all your sentences with 'ooh la la!'

4. Speak only in a 'robot' voice.

5. Wear your pants backwards.

6. Ask people what gender they are.

7. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your 'imaginary friend'.

8. Sing along at the opera.

9. Mow your lawn with scissors.

10. Honk and wavy to strangers.

i love my best friend...you smile, i smile, you laugh, i laugh, you cry, i cry, you jump off a cliff and I'm going to really miss you!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? I'mma kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a skyscraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there eating popcorn screaming "DO A FLIP, YOU SPARKLY FAGGOT!" then copy and paste!

I'm not crazy, I'm just... yea I'm crazy. But if I wasn't I wouldn't be as awesome!

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labor to reading six lines aloud.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mold like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamor
And enamor rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangor.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, won't, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, mustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succor, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spiky?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

English Pronunciation (also called The Chaos) by G. Nolst Trenité

100 Rules of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

The previous was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources inorder to help others understand the things that happen in anime. So to help others understand anime affter you have read this please copy and paste this to your profile thank-you.

FAKE VS. REAL

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

this is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia.

copy and paste this on your profile if you agree with this messed up yet logical bit of logic: If the Earth is round and someone on the Western Hemisphere points up, on an earth-wide scale, are they truly pointing up or are they pointing to the left/right?

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile.

If you now officially hate Sasuke because of Chapter 358, copy and paste this into your profile

95 percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the 5 that don't, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

If you think that writing Fanfics is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile

If you think it's unfair Deidara committed suicide to kill Sasufag and think Sasuke's a god-modder who deserves that nickname, copy and paste this into your profile.

95 Percent of teens would have a breakdown if The Jonas Brothers were standing on the edge of a tower ready tojump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5 who would bring a lawn chair and popcorn!!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise verse copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you think that those god-for-saken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

If you think the purple teli-tubie is related to Michel Jackson post this onto your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done!

If you have ever read someones profile just for the "copy and paste this into you profile" thingies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: NARUHAREM FOREVA, Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai ChOpstIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, tsukiko3000,Neonzangetsu, King Hawke, Mizuki Yagami, Darkus Cyril, FairyTailShinigami

If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

You know you live in 2007 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace/Facebook pics.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years, or hearts, for that matter.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace/Facebook.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling (nod, smile).

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were simply too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your own stupidity.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You just know you did

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list. Mr.Alaska, AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Akihiro Asamoto, Corvin, 9tail_Naruto, FlameKaiser, NoNameNeeded, Kyuuki-sama, Seraph of Shadows, emperor-soul heroforlife, Spartan Ninja, Hao-The-Angel-Of-Darkness, DarkusCyril, FairyTailShinigami

CHEESE!! If you are random and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Homicidal Whispers, naruhina-fanboy-devlin, Spartan Ninja, Hao-The-Angel-Of-Darkness, DarkusCyril, FairyTailShinigami

If you support the "Sasuke and Naruto are NOT Gay" cause, copy and paste this into your profile. Because they areNOT!!

If you like pie, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you'd rather stay at home than go go to school, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to smack the living daylights out of Sasuke for abandoning Sakura, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this to your profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

if this site is an addiction and your parents don't know add this to your profile

if you threaten inanimate objects put this on your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for basicially no reason, add this to your profile.

If you have a wild imagination and it seems like no one appreciates it or has any imagination worth squat, add this to your profile.

If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, add this to your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste into your profile

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, copy this into your profile

If you ever tripped over nothing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with talking to yourself or asking yourself a question, there's nothing wrong with answering a question you asked yourself, when you interupt yourself, that's when things get a bit wierd. Copy and Paste if you agree.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breath anymore. Repost if your one if the 8 percent who would be laughing your butt off.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, cut and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they do.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (Well, not really, but some of my keys are getting worn out and not working right. )

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

If You Just Need to Laugh:

'If you see writing in a book, you must report it to the library' (Overheard in a library)

'Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.' -Groucho Marx

'Do I contradict myself? Very well then... I contradict myself. I am large... I contain multitudes.' -Whitman

'War's not about who's right: it's about who's left.'

'I want to be a stud. I already have std; all I need is u.'

'I don't 'dress to impress'; I dress to depress. I wanna look so good that people hate themselves.'

'Stop waiting for Prince Charming. GET UP AND FIND HIM. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something...'

'True invincibility is being at the very bottom of the ladder, and not at the top.' -Liffae (ff.net)

'The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.' -Marcel Proust

'Of course it was my fault. There's no-one else here who could be responsible for anything.'

'Fashion is a type of ugliness so intolerable, that we have to change it every 6 months.'

'If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.'

'If you can't trust yourself to remember who you are, pick someone to remember it for you and do whatever they think you would do.' -sparrowette (ff.net)

'Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.'

'The pen is mightier than the sword; no-one expects you to attack them with a pen.'

'Knowledge is power and power corrupts. Study hard; be evil.'

'Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.'

'“But Hokage-sama, you can’t possibly expect me to work with him. He’s lazy, he’s always late, and… and… he’s a PERVERT,” yelled Kurenai. Kakashi looked at Kurenai with annoyance. “I am not lazy.”' -Cybergades (ff.net)

'I was wise once: when I was born, I cried.' - Welsh Proverb

...new line...

FANFICTION –– UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTH!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), NinjasWillRuleTheWorld (Australia), Shadowtheangel (Sweden), Ice Prince Hitsugaya (USA), Gaara of the Desert564 (USA), RebeccaUlquiorraCifer23 (USA), TheCursedOne (Colombia), Wereninja(USA), DarkHorseBlueSky (USA), FullMetalCanine (USA), Alibi Nonsense (England), FairyTailShinigami(USA, Camp Half-Blood, specifically)

Fanfiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don't do it for money. That's not what it's about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction. They're fans, but they're not silent, couchbound consumers of media. The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language.

THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN GENIUS AND INSANITY….AND I HAVE WHITE-OUT!

Fanfiction Dictionary for Newbies

AU - alternate universe. This basically means that it can't relate to the canon verse in anyway .eg highschool fics and vampire fics about stories that aren't already about highschool or vamptires etc (ie not Twilight :P)
Boy love - gay-ness
Bromance - straight best buddy relationships between blokes
Canon - Refers to what actually happens in the original series / book / cartoon etc
Crackfic - something that is very funny but would never happen in canon eg Sherlock Holmes and Watson being turned into penguins, Xander Harris actually getting a girlfriend who has nothing to do with demons, isn't a demon, isn't a former demon, and Palpatine retiring from being galactic Emperor to play the piano.
Crack pairing - a romance that would never happen and makes no sense at all (maybe gay or straight) eg Harry / Nearly-Headless-Nick
Discontinued - story is unfinished and will no longer be updated
Drabble - very short fanfiction - usually less than 200 words
ff - lesbian romace
fm - straight romance
Fluff - cute moments in any relationship (between friends, family, lovers etc)
Femslash - lesbian romance
Flames - reviews are generally offensive and negative that offer no helpful critism
Gary stu - overly perfect male characater. Not really as common as mary-sues.
Gen - fanfiction where romance is not mentioned or is only in the background.
Girl love - lesbian-ness
Hentai - cartoon p0rn
IC - in character
Incest - really does mean incest. Anything ending in -cest means incest e.g twincest (between twins) , zucest (between Zuko and Azula in Avatar)
Lemon - explicit sex
Lime - not-so-explicit sex
Mary-sue - overly perfect female characters that are generally very unpopular with fans. Each category has a different kind of mary-sue e.g. a beyblade mary-sue will come from that abbey and has a bad past and is a splitting image of Kai. A Yu-Gi-Oh Mary Sue will be beautiful and bear the missing, unknown, eighth millennium item and have a connection to ancient Egypt. Usually someone's sister.
mm - gay romance
Mpreg - male pregnancy
Non-Canon/ HeadCannon/Fanon - strays far from the established canon of the original material into the authors version without going into AU territory.
Noncon / Non-con - Non consensual activity ie rape
OC- orignal character (an authors creation)
OTP- one true pairing
OOC - out of character
One-shot - a fanfiction that's only 1 chapter long
Omake- extra at the end of a chapter
PM - private message
POV - point of veiw
R R - read and review
Shoujo ai (sp?) - girl love (lesbian fluff)
Shounen ai - boy love (gay fluff)
Slash - gay or lesbian romance
Smut - sex
WAFF- Warm And Fuzzy Feelings. A story mainly consisting of Fluff.
WIP- work in progress
Whump- injury/torture of a favorite character
Yaoi - gay p0rn, also more generally male salsh.
Yuri - lesbian p0rn

If this helped you and you want to help out the innocent newcomers to fanfiction, copy and paste this to your profile and add the name to this list: storm-of-insanity, Gamma Cavy, FairyTailShinigami

Guidelines for Crossover Fanfiction

1. Power levels must mesh. If doesn’t matter if you think universe A kicks so much more ass than universe B, crossovers where one side drastically owns the other are auto-fail. For believable conflict, and thus an interesting story, sometimes canon apparent power standards must be modified. Doing this heavy-handedly will make the other universe fans angry. Not doing it at all is worse. Just use a little logic, people. If the lead of one universe is nearing forty, and one’s a teenager, the passage of time alone allows for growth. Just because area-of-effect spells aren’t commonly seen in HP doesn’t mean there aren’t any. Hell, Pettigrew blew up a street and killed a dozen Muggles with one spell. I repeat: Pettigrew.

Example: Naruto ninjas have greater speed? Meet Harry Potter apparation. Why isn’t it used in HP combat? Well, think about it. Two wizards using apparation in a battle are going to basically have a high-stakes game of tag, based more on luck than skill. Sensible duelists are going to go for skill, thus minimal apparation. And there’s always the chance that one may be dueling within an anti-apparation ward.

2. Both universes must be present to some extent. In other words, a character crossplant is not a crossover. A boy raised in the ninja world called Harry Potter who’s not involved with Hogwarts, Britain, Voldemort, etc. is called an OC. Just because you call a random LotR elf ‘Harry’ does not mean it’s Harry Potter or a crossover. Call this the ‘if it looks like a duck’ principle. If it looks like a ninja, acts like a ninja, talks like a ninja, was raised like a ninja, and never had contact with magic or the magical world, it’s likely a ninja, not a wizard.

3. Share the pain, share the glory. Anakin Skywalker is the one Chosen to bring balance to the Force. Taking down Voldemort is Harry’s job. Even if it’s a HP/Star Wars crossover, and you think Anakin owns Harry, they are both leads and heros. Respect that, instead of flipping Harry the literary middle finger, and the crossover’s chances of being a success instead of auto-fail drastically improve. It’s one thing to expand a hero’s duty to encompass another universe; gloryhounding in favor of your preferred lead is an entirely different animal.

Corollary: Reincarnation-style crossovers can avoid this issue entirely, but only if done well and carefully. If Harry’s the reincarnation of Namikaze Minato, something of Harry must remain – he must still use magic, still interact with the wizarding world/Harry’s friends, etc. – or you have ventured into the land of lead-replacement, another auto-fail.

4. A crossed universe must be internally consistent. This consistency will usually come at the price of an altered canon, with alterations varying from minimal to great. Wait, Merlin was an Ancient? That’s kinda neat, but not HP-canon relevant, unless the story in question involves Harry being a squib with the Ancients gifts. On the other hand, if the crossed universe involves Harry being a son of Sparda, then post-GoF canon is by necessity blown out of the water. One, because devils and demons will be a known if uncommon threat, and two, because the potential consequences of Voldemort’s rebirth are positively hellacious. Handwaving this is almost certainly auto-fail.

5. Good and evil are subjective. As easy as it is to draw lines in the sand, the Good Guys of respective universes are not always going to agree on what Good is. Buffy and the Scoobies kill supernatural stuff. Wizards are usually Ok, but anything they see as a demon is fair game. House elves, for instance. Or centaurs, or Dragons, or some of Hagrid's creatures. Even more importantly, megalomaniacs out to enslave the world don’t usually team up. Use each other, yes. And even a megalomaniac out to enslave the world may find himself fighting with the forces of Good against a megalomaniac out to destroy it utterly. For a skilled writer, this can be very fertile ground. Very, very difficult to pull off realistically, yes, but to do so would likely transcend the bounds of epic storytelling.

1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals

4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches

5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"

6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.

14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.

15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “

29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.

42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

43) I may not have a private army.

44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

46) I am not the wicked witch of the west.

47) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

48) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

49) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

54) - Especially not all of them at once.

55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.

62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms.

63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.

68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.

71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.

73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.

75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.

79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade

81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry

82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall

83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”

84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.

85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams.

86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.

87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.

89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.

90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.

93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

94) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car.

95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.

96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.

97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.

98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.

99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.

100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever.

105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones.

106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean.

107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".

108) Even if he is.

109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk.

110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward.

111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.

112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.

113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed.

114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do.

115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge.

116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum.

117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin.

118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'.

119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair.

120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either.

121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul.

122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory.

123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod.

124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike.

125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living.

126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts.

127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball.

128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such.

129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise.

130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes.

131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning.

132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White."

133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "Ahhh! It's an albino dementor!"

134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas.

135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye."

136) To which I am not allowed to reply.

137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.

138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises.

139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related.

140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately.

141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit.

142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!"

143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger.

144) Portable swamps are not funny.

145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters.

146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms.

147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps.

148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this everytime I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me.

149) My patronus is not a Nazgul.

150) Neither is my animagus form.

151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

152) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears.

153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.

154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.

155) No part of the school uniform is edible.

156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.

157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too @#!*% short".

158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect.

159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June.

160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.

161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.

162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.

163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.

164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do.

165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.

166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night."

167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.

168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.

169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin.

170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.

171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.

172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it.

173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".

174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate.

175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

176) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either.

177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.

178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney.

179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark.

180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood.

181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions.

182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments.

183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign.

I am a book freak, yes.

So what?

While I hole myself up in a good story,

you're off frying your brains.

While I lose myself in unknown worlds,

you're off playing Minecraft or World of Warcraft.

While I learn things you cannot imagine,

you're off failing school and your teachers and family.

I know more about some characters than I do myself—

characters you will never know.

I can survive my whole life in a world—

a world you will never see.

I know the secrets of people, places, and creatures—

all of which you will never meet.

I could ruin your life, if I had the heart to and if you and I were in one of the worlds I know—

and you would never tell the difference.

I create worlds, people, creatures, but most of all lives with my words that you call another boring subject- something you will never experience the joy and pride of.

I have ridden on dragons, outwitted darkness, eluded death a thousand times . . .

I have saved lives, used magic, unraveled deathly secrets that could start wars . . .

I have swum with the serpents, flown with the pegasi, howled with the wolves . . .

I have stood upon the moon, fought in great battles, discovered new universes . . .

I have relived long-gone lives, shaped new destinies, guided the paths of others . . .

I have stepped into other worlds, become other creatures, experienced unimaginable things . . .

I have lived through wars, living nightmares, the worst of tragedies . . .

I have felt the joy, pride, and elation of just—knowing.

Knowing the fact that you would never learn what I have.

And never have I moved a single inch, as long as I read.

I have travelled universes while sitting in a corner with a book

For you one glance is what it took

To say it was useless and stupid

But you can never experience time travel or falling again and again,

You can never live a life of the first daughter who hates it or experience victory over dictators,

And other things I have,

Yet you claim that all of this is boring—

Boring, stupid, sad, uncool, dumb, even embarrassing.

You say that this is something no one can like.

And yet, here I stand, holding a book.

Child of Zeus:
You like being in charge.

You often wish you could just zap someone with a lightning bolt.

You were voted class president.

You have/are cheating(ed) on your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Eagles are your favorite birds.
You think you have what it takes to run for president

You want justice for everyone.

You love showing off

You like plane rides. (only when you can't drive there otherwise its too high)

You are hydrophobic.

4/10

Child of Poseidon:
You feel at home in the water.
Your favorite place is the beach.
You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.
You want to do something about the Marine species being abused today.
You visit the local pool on a regular basis.
You swim professionally.
You hate seafood.
You never get seasick.
You'd rather ride a boat than a plane.
You are acrophobic.

7/10

Child of Hades:

You're not that much of a people person.
You like staying in the dark and writing.
You experience bad moods on a regular basis.
You like listening to loud music.
You think parties are loud and annoying. (sometimes)
You like to keep to yourself. (Sometimes... again.)
All your closets are padlocked.
You write in a diary/journal/blog.
You feel most active at night.
You aren't particularly fond of most animals.

7/10

Child of Demeter:
You own a garden.
You like the great outdoors.
You have a green thumb.
You're an environmentalist.
You have a special connection with animals.
You're a vegetarian.
You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.
You always check if a product if its environmentally friendly.
You love going to flower shops.
You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.

4/10

Child of Ares:
You often start fights.
You're a very aggressive type of person.
You like reading about war.
You like watching wrestling.
You're competitive.
You don't take crap from anybody.
You need anger management.
You never back away from a fight.
Everyone does what you say.
You don't always think before you do something.

5/10

Child of Athena:
You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
You're probably the only person who visits the library on a regular basis.
Half your Christmas presents last year were books.
You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.
You're the valedictorian your class.
You've never gotten a grade below an 80 on your report card.
You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.
You think it would be better if you were president.
You have a huge shelf of books at home.
You are great at planning strategies.

9/10

Child of Apollo:
You're very creative and artistic.
You like listening to all kinds of music in general.
You always feel sunny and optimistic.
You are talented at drawing.
You like writing poetry
You can play at least 3 musical instruments.
You like going to Art museums.
You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.
You have a great singing voice.
Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.

5/10

Hunter of Artemis:
You dislike boys in general.
A deer is one of your favorite animals.
You like silver.
You like the moon better than the sun.
Zoë Nightshade is awesome!
You love wild animals.
You spend most of your time outdoors. (Well...)
You love to move around the place.
Hunting isn't cruel, if its to hunt down monsters.

9/10

Child of Hephaestus:
You have a way with tools.
You build awesome things during your free time.
You're the best at Woodshop in your class.
You're great at metalworking.
You have your own toolbox.
You often search the Internet to look for pictures of Robots.
You're a techie.
You dream of being a carpenter or engineer.
You aren't afraid of Fire.

2/10

Child of Aphrodite:
Every guy/girl swoons for you.
You like putting on Makeup.
You naturally smell good.
You never experience a bad hair day.
Your favorite activity is clothes shopping.
Your always in front of every trend.
You're the popular girl/guy at school. (I guess that I'm one of them.)

You're often invited to parties.

Your motto is 'It's never a party without me'

You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.

1/10. Ha!

Child of Hermes:
You like pickpocketing your friends.
You're a prankster.
You're a speed demon.
You consider yourself restless.
You're the best speaker in the class.
You like thinking on your feet and using your wits.
You're resourceful.
You often start prank wars.
You've never lost a debate.
You like making witty and sarcastic comments.

7/10

Child of Dionysus:
You're the life of the party.
You like wine.
You've probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.
You can finish a martini in less than a minute.
You have a happy, cheerful disposition.
You're a foodie.
You like going to social events and mingling with people.
You like trying new food.
You feel that you're abundant in life.
You think that too little of anything is bad.

0/10 LOLOLOL

DAUGHTER OF ATHENA, HUNTER OF ARTEMIS!! I'm awesomely smart and awesome! ;P

Which PJO demigod is your best friend?

Leo-

You love machinery and are fascinated by how it works.

You don't care what you look like.

You wish you could set one of your teacher(s) on fire.

You're always building things.

You're not much of a people person.

You're always optimistic and carefree.

4/6

Piper-

You have an amazing sense of style, although you don't dress to impress.

You wish no one would look at you.

You get into fights with your parents.

You underestimate yourself. (IDK people say that)

You try not to let them get to you.

You're stronger than you look.

5/6

Jason-

You feel like you should be the leader.

You have parent problems.

You understand sacrifices have to be made sometimes.

You work hard.

You don't want to give other people your problems.

You love heights and flying.

4/6

Frank-

You're often underestimated or teased.

You're cleverer than you look.

You're very loyal.

You've got some painful things in your past.

You love animals.

You're kind when you open up.4

3/6

Hazel-

You're older than you seem.

You're very friendly, yet independent and fierce.

You've seen more than you should have done.

You love precious things and jewels.

You feel at home underground.

You're very cautious at times.

5/6

Annabeth-

You're the cleverest person in your grade. (one of them)

You're obsessed with reading.

You love design.

You really don't care whether your hair's perfect or not.

You're a natural leader.

You can always find a solution.

6/6

Percy-

You're extremely brave and loyal, even if you sometimes do stupid things.

You have a stupid sense of humour.

You're very sporty and a great swimmer.

You absolutely hate heights.

You're at home in water and you love beach vacations.

You have incredibly bad luck.

6/6

Thalia-

You're very independent.

You're scared of heights.

You hate the sea... and boys in general.

You listen to heavy metal or depressing music.

You don't let people in.

You're very competitive.

5/6

Reyna-

You're closed up.

You know what you have to do and have great instincts.

You love horses.

You do things for the good of other people.

You can kick some annoying people's faces.

How can anyone not have some kind of plan?

6/6

Nico-

You often feel like an outsider.

You hate socialising.

You love dark and creepy stuff.

99.99% of your clothes are black.

You hate daytime.

You feel most active at night.

5/6

Results: Percy, Annabeth, AND Reyna! With Nico, Thalia, and Piper as close seconds! I don't see how that's possible! Perfect life!

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments tthat take our breath away."

"When you think about it, it all comes down to happiness."

"I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny."

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2.Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Which country do you like the most?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so scroll down

(don't cheat- -)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person

2. If you choose

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and agressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relashonship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experiance a major life changing experiance for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on in a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides with you and would do anything for you, but may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. THis is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.

8. You will live in that country or at least visit it 5-6 times.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come before your next birthday

Dear people,

I'm sorry I'm not like you.

I love books.

I actually enjoy staying home on a Friday night.

I'm different.

Learn to accept it.

Copy and paste if you can relate to this.If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as diffrent, which is the same as unique, and unique is good. so weird is good. If you are Weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. (Oh my god yes... I must have looked stupid doing it at school. :))

If you're a demigod add yourself onto the list and post this on your profile. Shorty/Kris KG/Lizzy' Wisegirl 101/Lindsay Seaweed Brain 013/Sebz Cloudy Alore/Faye XxxBellxXxGirlxxX76/Bells xXtheshadowhuntressxX annapercy1 Hula The new Ace of spies 7cerberus7 storyteller221/Kali Lenor AthenaPersephone14 Laserfire JBaddict1234 SeaweedGirl1 AnikaandAj/ Aj Kronos Army/ dragonswoe/ awesomeninja09/ FairyTailShinigami/

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!!

Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Crazy-Monkey13 (USA) Mittensx7768 (USA), Darkness Incarnated (USA), monkeygirl77 (USA), Secret (Scotland UK), dragonswoe (England), awesomeninja09 (USA), FairyTailShinigami (USA),

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe),QuickCookie, xx . mari . xx RANDOMNESS96 xoxoxo, awesomeninja09, FairyTailShinigami,

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity

Person: Hola!

Spanish person: *speaks fast mad spanish*

Person: DUDE SLOW DOWN! DORA DIDN'T TEACH ME THAT YET!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what if Jason had chosen Reyna over Piper? Oh, story idea!! Must get to computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask myself random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason.

Your friends stopped looking at you funny because you were laughing for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

Gangsta: First 3 letters of real name plus izzle

Detective: Fav color and fav animal

Soap Opera: Middle name, and current street name

Star Wars: The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name

Superhero: 2nd favorite color, favorite drink

Arab: 2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name

Witness Protection: Mothers middle name

Goth: Black, and the name of one your pets

The Harry Potter houses: (Or what they would look like to a noon)

Hufflepuff: Do you want a cookie?

Slytherin: I will kill that cookie!

Gryffindor: I will save that cookie!

Ravenclaw: Does that cookie have vitamins?

Bold your house!

On all the days of christmas Rick Riordan gave to me

12 Immortal Gods

11 Years of writing

10 Amazing Books

9 Prophecies

8 "Dam" mentions

7 Demigods

6 months missing

5 years of hell

4 girls on Percy ( Annabeth,Rachel,Calypso,Reyna)

3 per quest

2 Half-Blood camps (Camp Half-Blood,Camp Jupiter)

And a very hot Leo Valdez

PLEASE READ.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

If you think that sexism and racism is wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the woman who cried herself to sleep, knowing that I'll never see my wife's smiling face, again.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.