Table of Contents(that's how long my profile is XD)
1. Funny quote list
2. kool quote list
3. My anime/manga list
4. List of random favorite things
5. limmericks
6. My "if you have ever..."s

Well, I'lljust puft a nice little list of quotes here! (some of them are grouped together 'cause they happened right after one another and u need them both to see why they're so great.) Oh, and some quotes aren't exact word for word, but they still give they whole point of itf.

"If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously over-looked somfething."#
"If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway."
"No matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy's law will take effect and screw it up."
"You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet."
"You will always find something in the last place you look."
"You will never find something in the last place you look. Instead, it will be in the first place you look, but never discovered on the first attempt."#
"Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening."
"Where patience fails, force prevails."
"Any time you put an item in a 'safe place', it will never be seen again."#
"When you see light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel will cave in."
"Being dead right won't make you any less dead."
"Traffic is directly proportional to how late you are, or are going to be."#
"The probability of being observed is in direct proportion to the stupidity of ones actions."#
"Anything that can go wrong, HAS gone wrong! You just haven't been notified."#
"If anything was worth doing, it would've already been done."
"An expert is just someone with an opinion and a word processor."
"Chaos always wins, because it's better organized."
"If at first you don't suceed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried."
"If all else fails, hit it with a big hammer."
"When something goes wrong, you will not find the find the answer in the instruction booklet, but someone else will."#
"The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all worlds. The pessimist fears this is true."#
"1 Washer + 1 Dryer + 2 Socks = 1 Sock"
"Anyone who isn't paranoid simply isn't paying enough attention."
"If it looks good, tastes good, and feels good, there is something wrong, so be careful."
"Behind every little problem is a larger problem, waiting for the little problem to get out of the way."#
"In order for something to get clean, something else must get dirty."
"It is possible for everything to get dirty without anything getting clean."
"Two wrongs don't make a right. It usually takes three or four."
"The two must abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."#
"The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits."#
"Every problem is replacable with a bigger one."
"A knowledge of Murphy's Law is no help in any situation."
"If you apply Murphy's Law, it will no longer be applicable."
"Every time someone predicts the date of the end of the world, God pushes the date back a little just to be funny."
Murphy's Laws
#: Proven by me or someone I know

"I swear, one of these days... one of these days... I may be 90, but one of these days..."
My friend

"If at first you don't suceed, then you're not me."
Mandy The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

"3 AM. It's either Billy or a blood-thirsty vampire. Plleeeaase let it be the vampire."
Mandy The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

"It's Japanese Mail Day! Today we all get out of school and write all our mail in Japanese so the Japanese people at the post office can read it!"
A friend of mine in another friend of mine's dream

"I know how much you like to be viewed as mean, but you should show that you have at least a little compassion... so let's get this paper bag over your head!"
Me

"I am so lucky! How did I get such a good son?"
"Uh... Dad's genes?"
My mom, me

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want—an adorable pancreas?"
Jean Kerr

"Let's put it this way: I win. You lose. Conversation over."
Me

"Where and what is Trinidad and Tabago? A landlocked country near the Yukon? A small island off the coast of Venezuela? What?"
"See? You do know where it is!"
Me, my friend (btw, Trinidad and tabago is a small island off the coast of Venezuela... yay coincidence!)

"Wanna know what we should do? Get a blank shirt, a piece of duct tape, write "Censored" on the duct tape, and put it on the shirt!"
"You can do that, I can't. I'll get in trouble."
"How come?"
"Think about it."
(Is confused)
"Think about where it would go."
"Oooooooooooooh..."
Me, my friend, me, my friend (who is of the female persuasion)...

"We've been stuck on this island for months now... we're starting to run out of food."
"Good thing I ordered us a pizza."
"How did you order a pizza!"
"On my phone."
Naruto, Kakashi, Naruto, Kakashi Tribal Trouble (it's from deviantart)

"Well... what pizza did you order?"
"Hmm, well I ordered a large super supreme, vegitarian, hawaiian, meat lovers with BBQ sauce, garlic bread and pepsi... All for pickup!"
"PICKUP!"
"It's cheaper."
"I don't like pepsi..."
Sasuke, Kakashi, Sasuke, Kakashi, Naruto Tribal Trouble

"You can cook! Marry me!"
I dunno... lol. It's in an anime screene from frzdragon on deviantart

"To Kill a Mockingbird... shoot it, idiot!"
Me

"Y'know, we really need to work on that denial problem of yours."
"What denial problem?"
"Exactly!"
Me, My friend, me

"Round and round it goes! Where is stops, nobody kn-Oh, there it is!"
The Grim Reaper/Ken Idaten (is that spelled right?) Jump

"You want to watch the emo girl play the piano, but you don't want to watch giant robots kill each other!"
My friend

"Its been 5 seconds since I've done something! I'm bored!"
"Only you... only you."
Me, my friend

"Why did you think he's gay?"
"Well, he's on my bus, and that rumor has been going around for a long time."
"You mean like the rumor that you're a boy?"
"SHUT UP!"
Me, my friend, me, my friend

"How many people in your family are artists?"
"A lot..."
"How many people in your family aren't artists?"
(After a bunch of strange counting gestures) "My dad?"
Me, my friend, me, my friend

"Children should be heard, not seen."
My Mom

"It's that evil ice cream, not-nice cream!"
Don Patch Bobobo-Bo BoBo-Bo

"I kind of want to take off my pants..."
My friend, it a public area, randomly, with no mention of this before. (dun worry, she was wearing two pairs, and she just wanted to take off the outer pair... she's not mentally insane. At least not in that sense...)

"Oh my god! My life is just like the movie 23, except with 3! If you take the digital root of my birthday, mutliply it by my social security number, divide that by the square root of the combined ages of my pets, minus the age of my cat, times the square of the number of fish I've had in my lifetime, divided by the number of programs on my computer, to the power of the number of letters in my name, times the number of cousins twice removed I have, over the square root of the number of furs my older dog has, times the average density of my body, plus the number of times I've badly sung the opening of FMA (a lot), times the number of times I've bawled over Hughes' death (a lot more), times zero plus three gets three! IT'S A CONSPIRACY! It means I'm... I'm... I'm... Well, I haven't seen the movie 23, so I don't really know..."
"IT MEANS YOUR AN IDIOT!"
Me, my friend

"Excellent! He's totally lost it!"
Ino Naruto (btw, this is the original quote that inspired me to start a quote list)

"You have 10,000 in the bank, but that's Canadian currency, so that's like only 7,000 in real money."
Some random guy on the internetz

"Something's fishy around here, or my name's Stinky Lulu, and thank goodness it's not!"
Courage Courage the Cowardly Dog

"Math by candlelight; what could be more romantic?"
My math teacher

(Reading a paper about herself, that was in the third person:) "She only showed an intelligent side to the world--"
(Starts cracking up)
My friend, me

"A boat is a boat, Lois, but a mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat!"
Peter Family Guy

"Oh, come on Lois! You're acting like this was the first stupid thing I've done. Remember that time I was supposed to get a boat?"
"A boat is a boat, Lois, but a mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat!"
Peter, Flashback Peter from 5 minutes ago Family Guy

"Shoot. They deleted it from the website."
"Deleted what?"
"Oh, nothing."
"C'mon! Tell me!"
"No."
"Tell me!"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because then you might start looking out for stalkers, and that would decrease their efficiency."
Me, my friend, me, my friend, me...

"Okay, no more sneaking up on m-Where'd you go?"
My friend

"See? This is why we based a religion on you!"
Me

"You people are beginning to make me question my insanity... Stop it!"
Me

"On an emotional level, that kind of makes sense... On a sane level, that is completely messed up!"
My friend

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Evesdropping! I'm disappointed in you!"
"Sh! I'm trying to listen to these people talk!"
Me, my friend

"Oh no! He knows Hatenko's secret weakness, that defeating him will cause him to be defeated!"
Narrator Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo

"You're insanely optimistic... If somebody pushed you off a cliff to your death you would laugh the whole way down thinking it was a good joke!"
My friend (talking about me XD )

"When your watering-can upgrade is complete, put Leo to work on your hoe."
Nintendo Power Magazine (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist XD)

"Did I really give you that cut?"
"Nah."
"Good, 'cause if I did I'd feel really guilty!"
"But you hit me over the head, stole my glasses, and banged my thumb! You should be guilty for that stuff!"
My friend, me, my friend, me

"Don't make me annoy you!"
"Don't make me take your sanity!"
My friend; Myself

"My arm is killing me."
"It is? Good. Then I don't have to kill you myself."
My friend, Myself

"I don't mean to sound paranoid but... I AM!"
My Mom

"It's amazing how much two people can argue when they have the same point of view."
Me (you know it's true)

"I bring you love!"
"The love between a man and a woman, or a man for a good Cuban cigar?"
"Uh... I bring you love!"
"Quick, it's bringing us love!"
"Rip its legs off!"
Alien, Dr. Hibertt, Alien, Lenny, Carl The Simpsons

"It's a monster! Kill it! Kill it!"
"No, it's not a monster! It's Mr. Burns!"
"Oh, it's Mr. Burns... Kill it! Kill it!"
Groundskeeper Willie, Mr. Smithers, Groundskeeper Willie The Simpsons

(In the Simpsons Halloween special, the family has just discovered Bart is a vampire, when...)
(Rushes into the room with a wooden stake) "We must kill the boy!"
"How did you know Bart was a vampire?"
"Bart's a vampire? Aaaaaah!" (Runs away)
Gramdpa, Marge, Grandpa The Simpsons

"Here it comes! 1000 years of darkness!"
"Why 1000?"
"Well, it's really 962, but 1000 sounds more ominous."
Master Fung, Kimiko, Master Fung Xiaolin Showdown

"Hey, it's just like broadway! Look at the line for the ladies' room!"
Me (during intermission of the school play)

"Screw the rules! I have money!"
Kaiba Yugioh: The Abridged Series

"Screw the rules! I have green hair!"
"Well, that was just wierd. I really need to lay off the drugs."
Past Kaiba, Present Kaiba Yugioh: The Abridged Series

"Yugi, we must win this duel! The fate of the world depends on it!"
"Oh, you always say that!"
Yami; Yugi Yugioh: The Abridged Movie Trailer

"Oh no, what are we going to do?"
"I'm going to do my laundry! Could I have some change?"
Yugi; Yami Yugioh: The Abridged Series

"Are you going to walk me up to their door?"
"No, I'm going to watch you walk up there."
"Fine, but if I get hit by lightning we know whose fault it is."
Me, My Mom, Me (dropping me off at my friend's house)

"Wait, I have an idea for a science project! Why don't you teach groundhogs to have perfect pitch?"
Me (and I said it with a straight face in all seriousness. Think about how much money you could make from a groundhog choir!)

"Why don't you read 1984?"
"I don't like historical books."
My friend, my friend's sister (my friend made me put it up xD)

"She thinks she's god!"
"She is."
"DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!!"
Me, my mom, me (about her cat)

"Can I've dinner in an hour? You have no idea how hungry I'm."
Me (messing with contractions is fun xD)

"What games do you have?"
"Well, I have Twilight Princes..."
"Why do you have that? It sounds girly."
"The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess sounds girly?"
"Oh, Zelda... people like it because Zelda looks like a man, right?"
My friend, me, my friend, my, my friend

"Attention all shoppers: Buy lots of stuff."
Announcer Mr. Meaty

"Emergency button pressed. Emergency being created."
Elevator Kappa Mikey (in case u didn't get it, they pressed the emergency button in the elevator, and it created an emergency instead of fixing one)

"I am Bug-A-Tron! My powers are... yet to be determined!"
Rodney Squirrel Boy

"You need to sound educated!"
"True dat."
"Word."
My mom, my friend, me

"You're hopeless..."
"Yes! Hopeless, and proud of it!"
My friend, me

"Uck, my friend likes my dog better than me!"
"Yeah, and your dog likes your friend better than you, too!"
My friend, me

"United we stand, divided we also stand, but further apart!"
Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo (episode name)

"No one on Naruto could beat anyone on FMA. Okay, maybe Itachi could beat Leiutenant Ross, but that's about it."
Me

"Hm... I like the style of this purse, but I'm not going to buy it since it's brown, and I don't like brown."
(15 minutes later)
"Oooh! I should get this purse! It's brown, and I don't have any brown purses!"
My mom, both times

"Let's prance merrily through the pretty flowers!"
(Takes a step away)
"Fine. Let's kill all the flowers with flamethrowers."
(Steps towards again)
"Then lets prance merrily through the ashes!"
(Takes a step away)
Me, my friend, me, my friend, me, my friend

"I've hidden a secret garden behind this fake non-alcoholic beer section!"
"But what if someone wants a non-alcoholic beer?"
"Surprisingly, it's never come up."
Apu, Lisa, Apu The Simpsons

"Being dead is really annoying, isn't it?"
"How should I know?"
My friend, me

"Aw, but I'm young and innocent! I should be corrupted properly!"
My friend's (little) sister

"Yeah, but that's graphic!"
"Not if you close your eyes."
My friend, My friend's sister (talking about mature videos)

"It's a girl thing... personally I've never understood it."
My friend who is a girl

"The devil sent us!"
"No y'idiot! God sent us!"
Pelanco, James The Clown in the Closet (one of my friend's homemade movies)

"The closet is hell? No!"
Clown The Clown in the Closet

"Don't worry honey, I know how you feel. When I was a little girl, I had a guinea pig, Cinnamon. And when he died, I thought the pain wou-No, Cinnamon! Why'd you have to go? It should have been me that chewed through that extension cord!"
Marge The Simpsons

"We did it! We saved Tokyo!"
"Aaah! The Wolves can open doors! We're doomed!"
Mikey; Random Guy Kappa Mikey (they just stopped a giant monster, but in the process a wolf factory was destroyed so all the wolves were loose in the city)

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?"
"Because it's a blooper!"
"BUT THERE'S NO CAMERA!"
I forget his name; Ozu(or however u spell it); I forget his name again Kappa Mikey (wat? I just started watching the show! I can't help it if I don't know the names or the spellings)

(Takes out kunai)
"Oh come on. You know that won't work on me."
with best anime suicidal look ever:"It's not meant for you..."
Sakura, i forget her name(the sound nin girl in the chuunin exams), Sakura(oh, and she just cut her hair, not her wrists (unfortunately))

"Got to hate laundry mats, they charge an arm and a spleen. Because of course if they charged a leg they’d never have repeat visitors."
Seeker of the Soul (he's an author here on fanfic.net; this was a quote on one of his review replies)

"Okay, so true or false? You love english!"
"Do you mean the type of people, accent, subject, language, or muffin?"
My English Teacher, Me

"Okay, this is totally based on trust. I think we should give up now."
Myself, to my friend

"If I was the family dog, I would have run away a loooooooong time ago!"
My 7th grade social studies teacher (talking to a student)

"Do you have to read my story out loud?"
"Only the stupid lines."
My friend, me.

"I've decided not to fail you."
"Wow! Really? All I did was faint and fall over! Do you get points for that?"
Kakashi; Sakura Naruto

"You pass."
"Huh?"
"Yyyyyoooouuuu... ppppaaaasssssssss..."
Kakashi; Sauske; Kakashi Naruto

"But wait. How come I'm not a zombie?"
"Oh, don't be silly, Mandy! Everyone knows that mind control doesn't work on people who think!"
Mandy; Eris The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy (this is funny because everyone except for mandy and grim are zombies)

"Just think! All the power, all the chaos, all the free chicken!"
Eris The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

"Marcus, captured by amazement, was amazed."
A Latin Textbook

"I wonder how many 'o's I can type in and still go to google!"
"Two."
My friend, me.

"I'm either going to do it tomorrow or Saturday."
"Tomorrow is Saturday."
My friend, me

"Oh, the cat isn't scratching the door because she wants to go out! She's just adminiring the fine craftsmanship!"
Me

"Where are you going?"
"To the bathroom."
"To do what?"
"What do you think?"
My mom, me, My mom, me

"Well, I got an A+ in math, but of course you got a lot higher than me!"
One of my friends

"Woohoo! I don't have any body parts yet!"
Same friend as the previous quote

"Say trap"
"Trap"
"Spell trap"
"T-A-R-P"
"No! Spell Trap!"
"T-A-R-P"
"No! Fine! Say trap!"
"Trap"
"Spell it"
"T-A-R-P"
"No! Ooh... fine! Say Map!"
"Map"
"Spell map!"
"T-A-R-P"
Me, my friend, me, my friend, me, my friend... (you get it now, don't you?)

"I didn't know you were going to say something stupid... Okay, I did."
Maddie The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

"Ha! I was right! I was completely wrong!"
Someone... (shifty eyes)

"My stubborness makes up for lack of arguments!"
My friend, when we were arguing over something

"Don't worry. I'm not going to eat your head and fry it in lemon juice."
"Of course not! You're going to fry it in lemon juice, and then eat my head!"
My friend, Me

"One of the pictures that you see there in our living room is a large black and white photo of my sister and myself hanging over the fireplace."
Anonymous (it was from some random essay... incorrect grammar is fun!)

"Modern homes are so small we've had to train our dog to wag its tail up and down and not sideways."
Tacitus

"You're nothing but a punk."
"Idiot. Beauty, tell this fool who the main character is."
"Um, Bobobo."
Poet, Pappa Rocks, Beauty BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo (manga)

"Hey, Missy! Don't call me a cute little doggy!"
"But.. I never said cute..."
Pakkun, Sakura (thinking) Naruto (manga)

"You shouldn't make a promise you can't deliver."
"I hope I'm not making a promise I can't deliver!"
Alexis (thinking), Jaden (thinking) Yu-gi-oh GX

"Interesting (3 seconds of silence...) That is awesome!"
"Not it's not! How is it awesome?"
"What? Oh! Not that! What I'm doing to your arm!"
(Slaps forehead)
Me, My friend, Me, My same friend (Oh, and if ur wondering, the "awsome" part was when I poked her arm with a pen, and her arm was really red at that time, so I poked it, and where I poked it, it turned white, but then it turned back to red!

"Well, at least I don't need a psychiatrist!"
"Well, actually, you probably need one more than any of us. Well, either you need one more than us, or you're so insane you don't need one at all!"
Me, My friend (and this was at our lunch table, so the "us" is the other ppl at the table)

"He must be that type that could never become the main character of a story."
Choji, Naruto (And talking about Naruto, too!)

"Drive through wedding: 45 Dollars. Drive through Divorce: 450 dollars. Being able to do all that in 15 minutes: Priceless"
Me (of course, I said this in Vegas! XD )

(Talking about a slot machine in Vegas:)
"The Jackpot for 1 coin is 1000 dollars, and the jackpot of 2 coins is 2000 dollars. How much is the jackpot for 3 coins?"
"3000 dollars!"
"No, 1500!"
Me, My Friend, Me (this really happened, but this was because the 3-coin jackpot was progressive)

"Y'know, 2 wrongs don't make a right."
"Yeah, but 3 rights make 1 left!"
Wanda, Cosmo The Fairly Odd Parents

"Yeah! We caught a pokemon! Er.. a homunculus!"
Ed Fullmetal Alchemist, Chapter 48 (manga), as told by Umeko

"Why is he wearing an eyepatch?"
"I already explained it to you! I was too lazy to draw a second eye!"
Me, my friend (talkin' about her drawing)

"Which is which?"
"Wynn is the one with blonde hair."
"It's in black and white... which is the one with blonde hair?"
Me, my friend, me (talkin' about her comic)

"Don't worry, the Poppa Rocks extract won't kill you. You just start thinking the same way I do, that's all!"
"Wha... What a terrifying technique..."
"For the first time in Beauty's life, she felt total fear."
Poppa Rocks (Don Patch), Beauty, Narrator Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo (manga)

(When presented with a drawing of a burning bridge, with a girl flying over it. The person claims that that is exactly what he saw)
"Are..."
"You..."
"High! That girl is very high in the picture!"
Edgeworth, Franziska, Judge Phoenix Wright: Trials & Tribulations

(Slaps desk.) "And what were you doing during that time...?"
"Don't hit your desk. It irritates me."
(Slaps desk.) "Yeah! Mr. Wright...! Oops."
Phoenix, Dee, Edgeworth Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

"I hate these kinds of people more than anything!"
"Umm... You mean Ace Detectives?"
"No, I'm fine with Ace Detectives."
"Oh... So then you must mean thieves?"
"No, they're alright, too. I just hate thieves that pretend to be Ace Detectives!"
Desiree, Maya, Desiree, Maya, Desiree Phoenix Wright: Trials & Tribulations

"Did anyone know you were using Coldkiller X?"
"Well, I told all my friends..."
"So in other words, nobody knew?"
Young Mia, Young Phoenix, Young Mia Some random PW comic I found on deviantart whose name and author I can't remember although I think it's called 'Friends'

"Hi! I'm a squirrel! I have a pretzel!"
Me (at my friend's christmas party, introducing myself to some random ppl)

"This rice is making me choke... I should get some more!"
Me (at my friend's christmas party. the choking-rice was just too good!)

"Hey, maybe if you jump off the top of my house now, you'll see Santa!"
"Oh, I'm not that stupid. I know your house isn't tall enough for that!"
My friend, me (at my friend's christmas party)

"Why don't you trust me that I can't be trusted?!"
Me

"I do not repeat what I say. I do not repeat what I say. I do not repeat what I say."
Me

Recently, there was a national day of silence, when some people vowed not to speak for a day. My friend was one of those people. And I, being the horrible horrible person I am, decided to try and trick her into speaking! Here is what happened when I executed my dastardly plan. I walked into the room, and then...
"Hi."
"Hello."
Me, My friend who was supposed to stay silent (I'm serious about this xD)

"I am insane. If you need proof, PAY MORE ATTENTION!"
Me

"Angst Angstity ANGST
Angst Emo More Angst
Angst Angst Blood
Emo Angst WHYYY?"
Generic Emo Song from "No Pairing Left Unmocked!" by DancingKirby

"X is xhe new t."
Me

"You rambunctious fool!"
"You foolishly foolish fool who foolishly fools us into foolishly believing your foolishly foolhardy foolishness that only a foolishly foolish fool could be foolishly fooled into foolishly believing!"
My friend, Me (Heh. Franziska.)

"Let's look at the objectives..."
"Heh. Objection."
"I said objectives, not objection! You foolishly foolish fool who foolishly fools--"
"Hold it!"
"Gr... I hate it when you use my stuff against me..."
Me, my friend, me, my friend, me (I know I don't own Phoenix Wright, so it technically isn't my stuff, but I'm the only one out of my friends who plays it. Also, that just shows how much I love Phoenix Wright if my friends are referencing it xD)

"Look at how talented I am... I cut myself on a doorknob!"
Me (I really did!)

"Shut up or I'll take your sanity! Oh wait, you don't have that, nor do you have a soul... Shut up or I'll take your adorable pancreas!"
"You don't have the guts."
"I will if I get that pancreas!"
Me, my friend, me (1. If you don't get the take your sanity or adorable pancreas reference, scroll up. 2. My friend made that line about guts unintentionally without realizing how much of a pun it was. I kid you not.)

"She's a communist!"
"She's not a communist, she's just craz--oh, she is a communist..."
My friend, me (No offense to any communists out there--that was said more for rhetoric than content)

"What are you going as for Halloween?"
"You'll see on October 31."
"I think I might know what you're going as..."
"What?"
"A Trojan costume!"
"...I'm not going as a condom."
My friend, me, my friend, me, my friend, me

"I would wish you good luck in the contest, but you're judging it, so I'll just offer you a bribe instead."
Me

"Homer thought the trip to the guillotine factory was just for fun, but it was the perfect place to shoot him!"
Bart The Simpsons

My first conversation with one of my female friends on Halloween:
"And that's how I feel as a vice presidential candidate."
"You're Joe Biden?!"
My friend, Me

"Get over it! It's only hair. It can be fixed."
"No it can't!"
"Fine, you're right. It can't be fixed. You're an ugly, hideous freak who is a failure that nobody likes, and you will never be accepted or integrated into society. Now go away!"
"I like your way of problem solving."
Me, my friend's younger sister, me, my friend

"I can't believe I got into that car accident! I mean, I was in a school zone! I was driving so slowly, like, 2 miles per minute!"
My mom

"It's not Satan! It's just the devil."
My friend

"I'm not pulling the wool over your eyes! ...It's cotton."
Me

"Sometimes you just don't know when to shut up..."
"What do you mean 'sometimes'?!"
My mom, me

"Is there such a thing as anaphora?"
"I don't know. Why don't you try asking again?"
Random kid, teacher (I'm such a nerd...)

"Anyone who thinks that God created the world in 7 days is an idiot. God created it in 6 days, and rested on the 7th!"
Me

In class to the male teacher:
"I have a question, senori--" (stops short)
Friend

"Kumquat!"
"All of you are kumquats."
"Olive you?"
A friend, another friend, me.

"Is that a pothole? ...I'd better drive over it to check."
Me

"Oh no! This is the worst decision I've ever had to make! There are three dogs but I only have two hands!"
Me

"No... I can't be outwitted by this novice bimbo...!"
"Hey! Same to you, buddy!"
Edgeworth, Mia Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations

(Touches friend's shoe)
"Stop it."
(Keeps touching friend's shoe)
"No! Stop! Your hands are not worthy of touching my divine shoes!"
(Still touches friend's shoe)
"Great. Now I have to incinerate it."
"At least you'll still have 1 shoe left."
"...I meant your finger."
Me, friend, me, friend, me, friend, me, friend

"Ah ha! Chiasmus!"
Me

"The ! makes it sarcastic."
"No, the exclamation mark makes it an exclamation."
Random guy on the internet, me

"First, you learn French. Then you speak French. Then you think French. Then you dream French. And then... you go paranoid."
My friend

"That's it! I'm adding him to my list!"
(laughs)
"He's a threat!"
(still laughs)
"...You think I'm joking!"
"Well, I'd be worried if you were dead serious."
"'Dead' is quite the appropriate word here."
Me, my friend, me, my friend, etc

"Oh my god, I just had an amazing mango sherbert!"
"Meh."
"Don't you dare say ANYTHING about mangos, ever!"
"Mangos... are a fruit."
My friend, me, my friend, me

Here are some uber-kool quotes (not funny ones). Since I just started it, tho, I only have one... but it'll grow! (i hope EDIT: See? Now I have 5. I has grown :P And gasp! Now it's 6! EDITEDIT: Hm... 8 now... perhaps I should just delete this line?)

"A king is there for the people. Lose the people, and there is no such thing as a king."
Ling Yao Fullmetal Alchemist (manga)

"You cannot change or erase the past. However, the future is always in front of you."
Clow Reed Cardcaptor Sakura

"There are other ways of making people into ghosts."
Atticus, To Kill a Mockingbird

"Never choose death... Protect your love and keep her near you... Promise her that you will never leave, and keep your promise... You must..."
Freedurt DNAngel

"I can sacrifice everything; I yearn for that smile."
Lyrics to "Undo" by Cool Joke (it's the 3rd FMA opening)

"I just go to this 'World Tree' and retie my thread? Sounds too easy."
"Anything will sound easy if you just skip to the ending, doll."
Saistyria, Loki Deus Ex Machina (it's an original manga on myotaku)

"If I were the rain, could I connect with someone's heart, as the rain can unite the eternally separated earth and sky?"
Chapter 17 epigraph Bleach (manga)

"The exposure of truth sometimes results in tragedy... However! No matter how tragic the truth may be, it would be an even greater tragedy to avert one's eyes from it."
Miles Edgeworth Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

"Blacker than a moonless night, hotter and more bitter than hell itself... that is coffee."
Godot Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations (to be honest... I wasn't sure whether to put this in the funny quote or epic quote section)

"To err is human, to forgive divine."
Godot Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations

"Death has no meaning in this courtroom!"
Godot Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations

"The only time a lawyer can cry is when it's all over."
Diego Armando Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations (Hm... looking at all this, I may have to switch from being a Phoenix fanboy to a Diego fanboy! oh noez!)

"Only justice can bring peace."
Kioshi Avatar: The Last Airbender

"A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan, a child who never grows old and who, therefore, is always available to love and be loved."
Aaron Katcher

Here is my anime/manga list! Yay!

Anime/manga I have watched/read:
Black Cat
Bleach
Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo
Cardcaptor Sakura
Cyborg 009
Death Note
Detective Academy Q
Detective Conan
DNAngel
Doubt
Duel Masters
Durarara!!
Fullmetal Alchemist
Future Diary
Gamble Fish
Gambling Emperor Legend Zero
Hikaru no Go
Kuragehime
Liar Game
Love Hina
Lunar Legend Tsukihime
MAR
Monster
Monster Soul
Naruto
Nodame Cantabile
One Piece
Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt
Paranoia Agent
Piano
Please Teacher
Pokemon
Pretear
Rave Master
Spiral: The Bonds of Reasoning
The Lies of Mentalist Odagiri Kyoko
The World God Only Knows
The Vision of Escaflowne
Tower of God
Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Xam’d
xxxHolic
Yu-Gi-Oh!
Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Yu Yu Hakesho
Zatch Bell

Animes I am planning to watch:(there are too many to list, but here are some XD)

Chobits
Guren Lagann
Eureka Seven
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Tegami Bachi
Great Teacher Onizuka
When They Cry

My list of kool anime opening/closings:
Fullmetal Alchemist opening 2, 3, and 4
Cardcaptor Sakura (japanese) opening 1, 2, 3
Lunar Legend Tsukihime opening
DNAngel opening
DNAngel ending 1
Love Hina opening
Hikaru no Go opening 1, 2
Hikaru no Go ending 1, 4
Naruto opening 4
Naruto dub opening 3(I think it's also the japenese opening 2)
Paranoia Agent opening
Yu-Gi-Oh! GX (japanese) opening 1,3, 4
Yu-Gi-Oh! GX (japanese) ending 4

My list of favorite characters! (Anime and non-anime):
1. Maes Hughes! (from Fullmetal Alchemist)
2. Nausicaa (from Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind)
3. Tomoyo (from Cardcaptor Sakura)
4. Atticus (from To Kill a Mockingbird)
5. Jiji (from Kiki's Delivery Service)
6. Shikamaru (from Naruto)
7. Kurama (from Yu Yu Hakesho)
8. Dark (from DNAngel)
9. Sai (from Hikaru no Go)
10. Daisuke (from DNAngel)
11. Yashamaru (from Naruto)
12. Keitaro (from Love Hina)
13. Salamander (from... those Deverry book things)

Random list of favorite things...

My favorite ice cream is Mint Chocolate Chip! Yay!

Favorite episodes/moments... which is really what this list is for (except for ice cream! Yay!)

The episode "Remembrance of Courage Past" from Courage the Cowardly Dog... so beautiful... (cries)

Maes Hughes from FMA

"Gotta See! Gotta Know! The Face Behind Kakashi's Mask!" episode from Naruto (dunno if that's the exact title)

In the Phantom of the Opera mini-series, when the Phantom takes off his mask in the beginning of the movie

Artificial sky and birds in the Phantom of the Opera mini-series

Maes Hughes from FMA

The "It's not meant for you" line in Naruto (Sakura says it, and its in the episode "Sakura Blossoms")

Emo Boy's introduction in Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo (it's in the manga, but not the dub... I don't know if it's in the sub, though)

Maes Hughes from FMA

Maes Hughes from FMA

The ultimate element line from the beginning of the FMA movie

and last but not least... Maes Hughes from FMA :-D

Here are some limmericks (all by me):

There once was a teacher who taught latin,
And all she dressed in was satin.
Her students were sad
And soon they grew mad,
So the teacher, in acid, she sat in.

A pickle was picking on a bean,
And this pickle was really really mean.
The bean told his dad,
Who grew quite mad,
So the pickle, again wasn't seen.

A waffle was flying around
Making way too much sound.
He really was a fool,
For he ran out of fuel,
And quickly crashed into the ground.

John was afraid of becoming dead (yay inside jokes!),
So he always hid in his bed.
He never left his room,
Guarded himself with a broom,
And died choking on bread.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you were sad when Steve Irwin died, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you wanted to sue the makers of FMA when they killed off Hughes and/or made him a nazi, then put this in your profile

If you've ever started a "If you've ever... then put this in your profile", then put this in your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, the weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list, Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, WanderingTeen, Bad Player