I, Divergent-Slytherin-Victor, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read,

regardless of the number of reviews,

its age, or anything else.

I have joined the Review Revolution.

Copy and Paste this onto your profile to join the Revolution.

Mischief managed.

THINGS I MUST NOT DO AT HOGWARTS AGAIN:

1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.

2. Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise.

3. He is NOT Gollum either.

4. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.

5. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.

6. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.

7. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.

8. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.

9. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

10. Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.

11. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus.

12. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks.

13. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.

14. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.

15. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT an appropriate title for the school production.

16. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonagall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.

17. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.

18. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

19. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.

20. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."

21. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonagall’s office.

22. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.

23. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.

24. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.

25. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.

26.I will NOT tell Draco Malfoy to 'make like a ferret and bounce'

27. I will NOT ask Aragog how things are going with his wife, Shelob.

28. I will NOT refer to DADA teachers as canaries in a coal mine.

29. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career aspiration, even for a witch.

30. Providing Peeves with a case of Dungbombs was socially irresponsible and I will never do it again.

31. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles marked ‘Firewhisky’. Charming the label does nothing.

32. The headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, NOT Gandalf.

33. I will stop calling the Weasley twins Merry and Pippin. I must also not call Ron and Harry, Frodo and Sam. I probably shouldn’t call Malfoy, Legolas either.

34. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogwarts, I will not point at the Dark Mark and say; To the Batmobile, Robin.

35. Remember: I am not allowed out of my dorm when Ministry Representatives are in the castle.

36. Taking Polyjuice Potion and walking up to the person you’re supposed to be and pretending to be a walking mirror or their long lost twin can make them go insane and is not a hilarious practical joke.

37. If I see a Dementor I must not hiss ‘Sssssshire...Bagginsss’.

38. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, pale, blond and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.

39. I will NOT ask Professor Flitwick where Snow White is.

40. Asking Snape if his sister’s ok after that house fell on her is tasteless and will earn you a month of detention.

41. Shouting “Abracadabra” can be misheard and start a panic.

42. I cannot perform the Avada Kadavra curse, and pretending I can to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

43. When applying for a post at the Ministry, I should not write “Fred and George Weasley” as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. Putting Lord Voldemort is probably not best either.

44. I am no longer to discuss my theory that Voldemort is Sauron’s second cousin.

45. The Bludger is not a bowling ball, and Snape is not a bowling pin. I am not to attempt to disprove this.

20 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"

18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match.

19. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"

20. Tell a random guy "I love you, let's get married!" and when he walks away, yell "I thought you loved me!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things. and add another one to the list!