
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
Hey what's up people? Well let's go through the basics:
If you think that "morning people" should all disappear and spread their six am cheer with the rest of the universe! copy and paste this into your profile.
Favorite Couples:
Books:
Zoey & Stark -- House of Night series
Claire & Shane -- Morganville Vampires series
Eve & Michael -- Morganville Vampires series
Raven & Trevor -- Vampire Kisses series
Elena & Stefan -- Vampire Dairies series
Bonnie & Damon -- Vampire Dairies series
Meredith & Matt -- Vampire Dairies series
Yelena & Valek -- Study series
Cammie & Josh -- Gallagher Girls series (sorry Zach)
Bex & Grant -- Gallagher Girls series
Phoebe & Adam -- Generation Dead series
Phoebe & Troy -- Oh. My. Gods. series
Schuyler & Jack -- Blue Bloods series
Percy & Annabeth -- Percy Jackson series
Bella & Jacob -- Twilight series
Mangas:
Tohru & Kyo -- Fruits Basket
Yuki & Zero -- Vampire Knight
Karen & Kenta -- Chibi Vampire
Kagome & Inuyasha -- Inuyasha
Hikari & Kei -- S. A.
Sachie & Rakuto -- Wild Ones
TV:
Bones & Booth -- Bones
Donna & Eric -- That's 70 Show
Jackie & Kelso -- That's 70 Show
Fez & anyone -- That's 70 Show
Marge & Homer -- The Simpsons
Wendy & Stan -- South Park
Haylie & Jeff -- American Dad
Movies:
Janet & Brad -- The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Frank-N-Furter & Rocky -- RHPS
Columbia & Eddy -- RHPS
The Queen & d'Artagnan -- The Man in the Iron Mask
Name: Brittany
Gender: Girl.
Hair color: blonde (shocker, right?)
Eye color: blue/green
Birthday: November 15th
Age: 14
Favorite Artists/Bands: Weird Al, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Rise Against, HIM, Green Day, The Postal Service, Flogging Molly, well that's all I can think of for now but there is defiantly more
College: what about it? I'm not in college... I don't get this question.
Siblings: Little sister and brother
Interests: reading, writing, listening to music
What was the last book you read?: That I finished: Shadowland by Meg Cabot; Now Reading: A lot of different books right now but as of right now The Ninth Key by Meg Cabot
What's on your T.V right now?: American Dad
Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?: Hannah and we talked about Cracker Barrel
Where are you?: My room
What was the last thing you ate?: Cracker Barrel pancakes *drools at the thought of them*
What's your personality like?: happy, sarcastic, stupid
Who do you have a crush on?: Sadly, STILL no one (sigh)
What was the last thing you thought?: I'm STILL pathetic (see last answer)
Say George Bush. What is the first thing that comes to your mind?: I'm hungry
You now have a million dollars. What do you do?: Buy some food
Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it?: My chair? I'm sitting on it, I can't get any closer than that
What are you eating/drinking right now?: Nothing, sadly
What are you writing RIGHT NOW?: This?
Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 18 and find line nine. What is it?: "You're dressed like a leprechaun. And they don't call them midgets anymore, they call them 'little people'." - Courtney McSweeney in Two Way Street
What's it like being you?: Boring
What are your thoughts on writing?: Thoughts and me don't mix that well together.
How tall are you?: 5'9" I think
What book are you currently reading?: Again, a lot of books
What music are you listening to?: I'm not listening to music at the moment
What was the last website you visited before fan fiction?: Google.com looking up Platypus
What was the last thing you cooked?: I can't remember, but I do remember there being sparks and smoke =D
What color are the walls of the room you are in?: Light and dark blue
Do you know who the governor of your state is?: I think I know but I'm pretty sure that I'm wrong
Ketchup or Mustard?: Ketchup
How many different programs are on your computer right now?: I don't know and I don't care
Have you ever been water-skiing?: (shudders) Yes and I did a perfect split (p.s. - I've never done a split before and I previously broke my hip so it was not a good feat)
What is the weather like?: Cold, ugh
Are you going on vacation this summer and where?: Nope *sighs*
Anything else?: Yeah, I'm hungry!
What's your favorite article of clothing?: I don't care as long as it's not a dress . . . or skirt
Who is the most special person to you?: Anyone with food XD
What's your favorite childhood memory?: Playing with friends in my front yard.
Scariest moment of your life?: Whenever I'm near spiders.
One word that would best describe you? Hungry
What is your favorite month in the summer? July, I love hot weather
What's your favorite number?: 3 and 9
What is the nicest thing anyone ever said to you?: You're special! (But I'm not sure which special they meant, lol)
What does your username mean? Mrs. Brittany O'Shea -I wish- means that I LOVE Ian O'Shea from The Host by Stephenie Meyer and that I wish that I could marry him (I would if I was about 10 years older and if he wasn't a fictional character sigh).
What is your favorite Disney movie?: Oh, there are too many good ones to choose from! But I think that would be The Little Mermaid/The Princess and the Frog/Tangled =D
Favorite books: just look at my Favorite Couples list
Favorite Things to do: Listen to music, write, read, sleep, go on computer, hang out with friends, and most importantly . . . EAT!
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
I sweep a room with a glance.
My family tree is full of nuts
You'll always be my best friend - you know too much!
Housework won't kill you, but why take the chance?
Chocolate is proof that God wants us to be happy!
They say one day your whole life will flash before your eyes, make it worth watching.
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me.
Anyone can reach their stars…and if you can’t reach, catch one that falls.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
It's not how you pick your nose; it's where you put the booger.
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
An apple always keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought.
Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer.
Okay, so what's the speed of dark?
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth
Don't follow in my footsteps, I run into walls
Learn to fly. Tell no one.
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.
You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
It's okay to argue with two characters on your shoulders.
Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.
Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.
Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.
Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"
All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.
When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.
The trouble with life, is there's no background music.
A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!
Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE!
I don't get even, I get odder.
If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.
If I were any lazier, I would slip into a coma!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!
If life gives you lemons...throw them at someone.
When life gives you lemons, say "What else have you got?" You might get something else
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"
If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.
Never drink water...if it can rust iron, think of what it can do to your stomach.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
I was going to take over the world but got distracted by something sparkly
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
My knight in shining amour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Be you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Why be difficult, when with just a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Some people are like slinkies...they're really good for nothing...but the still bring a smile to your face you push them down a flight of stairs.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face
Boy, I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
When life gives you lemon, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!!
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.
Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject
My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
I'm not suffering from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
If you are cool you are awesome, if you are awesome your a freak, if your a freak your an athlete, if you are an athlete your a rebel, if you a rebel you are random, and if your random your smart. which leads to the conclusion that smart people are the coolest cool can be!
When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
When you are confused, I will use little words.
When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.
When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
A friend will bail you outta jail, a best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying "That was fun! Let's do it again!!"
A friend will wait for you to open your front door, a best friend will walk in and yell,"I'm home!"
A friend will call your parents by their first names, a best friend will call them Mom and Dad.
A friend will tell you that your a great singer even if you're terrible, a best friend will tell you that you suck.
A friend will give you a shoulder to cry on when he breaks your heart, a best friend will go up to him and say, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases:
-A billion seconds ago it was 1960.
-A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive
-A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
-A billion dollars only lasts 5 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate Washington spends it.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!
This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Here's a joke...
there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...
the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...
he gets big muscles and swims across...
but almost dies 5 times...
the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...
he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...
but he almost dies 3 times...
the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...
he turns into a woman...
walks 4 yards...
and crosses the bridge.
(I think that this is really cute.)
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life."
Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
(don't cheat--)
THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
soulmate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you copy and paste this your wish will come true
-The Dumb Blonde Test-
18 or lower means you're not a dumb blonde.
x Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
x Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
x You have ran into a glass/screen door.
x You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
x You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
Total=5
x You have ran into a tree.
It IS possible to lick your elbow
x You just tried to lick your elbow.
x You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
x You just tried to sing them.
x You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
x You have choked on your own spit.
You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.
X You didn't notice that in the last question "the" was spelled twice
x You just looked at it.
x Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde.
x People have called you slow.
total=15
x You have accidentally caught something on fire
x You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
x You have caught yourself drooling.
x You've fallen asleep in class
x If someone says "fart" you laugh.
x You just laughed.
total=21
x Sometimes you just stop thinking
x You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
x People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
x You are often told to use your "inside voice".
x You use your fingers to do simple math.
total=26
You have eaten a bug.
You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
total=26
x You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it
x You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket
total=28
You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you.
x You break a lot of things.
Your friends know not to use big words around you (they would but they are just as dumb as I am)
x You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused
x You have fallen out of your chair before
x When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
Total=31 (Wow I'm stupider than I thought)
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push copy this into your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.
If you believe teenagers are stereotyped, put this on your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile
If you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile.
If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have run up and down an escalator copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid...
When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide.
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
If you complain that your feet r cold, so your mom tells u to put on socks, but u never do just for the sake of being stubborn, copy this into ur profile
My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this into your profile
If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiel.
If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this to your profile
If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that people who don't like Percy Jackson and the Olympians are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.
If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.
If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.
If you only copy and paste this crap into your profile to make fun of yourself, copy this into your profile.
If you really, really hate when people tell you to read stupid books when you could be reading PJO, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile.
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.
If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile. I do.
if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If you are not one of those people who thinks having over 1 thousand friends on myspace is a contest copy this to your profile
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.
If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile
If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've reread TWILIGHT and NEW MOON and ECLIPSE and BREAKING DAWN over ten times (I'm getting there) ...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is hot (who doesn't?) ...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon and/or got maga super pissed at Edward for leaving and think that his reasons for leaving are stupid copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your family/friends/people around you stared at you when you did the aforementioned, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.
If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugar high, copy onto profile!
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not (I felt that lots of times) copy this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have a long list of fictional book/ movie characters that you are in love with, but Edward Cullen is clearly at the top of, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
If you're a proud obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.
If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward, copy this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you still have to make an L with both hands to find out which way is left or right, copy this to your profile
If you have ever been the only one to think some really stupid joke was funny, copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freaking' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If people shake their heads when they talk to you copy and paste this is your profile
If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile
If you have multiple voices in your head, but they all say the same thing put this in your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. Why are people staring at me? People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.
if your different in a good way put this in your profile.
If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever called Canada 'Canadia', copy this into your profile
If the reason ur so grumpy in the morning is that you stay up til midnight the night before, but stubbornly refuse to go to bed earlier, copy this into your profile.
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever started laughing evilly to yourself, loudly, when no one else was in the room, and there was nothing evil you thought and/or did to start laughing evily to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile
if you have ever had a conversation that went something like this:
"What?"
"What what?"
"I don't know."
"Me either."
"I'm confused."
"About what?"
"I don't know."
"What?"
"What what?"
For over ten minutes, copy and paste this to your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer!
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, (I have done this often) copy and paste this onto your profile.Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, percyrocksmysoxs, Mrs. Brittany O'Shea -I wish-
If you are willing to rebel against the flamers and anyone who is bad in the world and harms any animal or plant of any sort (except a few selected) copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Shorty and KG Inc., BookWormBandGeek, Mrs. Brittany O'Shea -I wish-
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, percyrocksmysoxs, Mrs. Brittany O'Shea -I wish-
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., Journalist793, Jason Strong, Athena0228, Mrs. Brittany O'Shea -I wish-
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list:
Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Hikuya, Briar Elwood, Megan Cooper, xxTunstall Chickxx, PoisionedRoses, eaglegal4, avengingangle45, Mrs. Brittany O'Shea -I wish-
ThInGs To PoNdEr:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations if smoking is prohibited there?
Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?
Why is verb a noun?
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?
Why is it called after dark when really it's after light?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
This is a true story:
Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talks to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents
Unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "
Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of shit!"
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying
Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms
(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)
CHILD ABUSE...MAKE IT STOP!! Please, be aware that child abuse happens everyday, and it isn't just physical, it's emotional too, and sometimes that hurts more than a beating from your parents. Physical abuse scars you on the outside and that pain will go away, but emotional abuse scars you on the inside and the pain of being called worthless never goes away. So please, help stop the abuse.
I want child abuse to stop! and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile Thank you to Locketful o' Heartache for posting this in your profile and for letting others read it.
Controversial Issues:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage
20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling
diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious
face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical
sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . copy and paste this to your profile!
Annoying things to do on an elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY "DING" at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23) WHEN there's only one other person in
the elevator, fart and point to the guy
and say, "He did it!"
24) Scream "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" before
the elevator starts moving.
How To Annoy People On The Beach:
Ask everyone you meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as you can.
If you see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to duck under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as you can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
How To Annoy People At An Amusement Park:
Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
Every time you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off.
Offer people money for their spots in line...MONOPOLY money.
Speak in Spanish, or pretend you're deaf and start making rapid hand movements.
Start talking about shaving your excess body hair in line while everyone around you is silent.
Find someone and tell them you're lost. Use your best acting skills.
Steal all of the pennies out of the water fountains.
Go up to the boy band wanna-be group and pretend to be really excited and ask for their autographs, reassuring them that they're gonna make it big soon.
Take an Alka-Seltzer tablet and begin to have spasmatic movements in your body while foaming at the mouth at the very top of the tallest ride.
Ask the ride attendant if you cannot ride because you are under the influence of herione, marijuana, crack, and every other drug you can think of.
Begin to cry when they start the merry-go-round and have them stop it because you're too scared to go all the way.
Start talking loudly about the last time you got stuck upside-down on this ride, scaring everyone in line around you.
Ask someone that looks like they're in a hurry for directions.
Complain about how dirty the seat is, and demand they clean it off.
Walk up to anyone in the park, and say "Hi, my name is your name" and offer a handshake.
Ask ANYONE for their autograph.
Advertise for a theme park...one you're not at.
Find someone to tell your life story to.
Whisper right in someone's ear, "I know what you did last summer."
Comment how good you look in every picture of you on a ride.
Make fun of everyone else in every set of pictures taken during the rides.
Go up to every character walking around and give them a big hug and call them your "hero."
Ride every water ride and inform everybody with you that you can't swim and everyone's gonna drown
Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end
Yell out the ending to a different movie.
Go sit next to a guy who is by himself and during the previews scream in his ear, "HOW DO YOU LIKE THE MOVIE SO FAR?"
Go sit next to a random guy and every time something happens slap his shoulders and yell, "OMG! DID YOU SEE THAT?"
Ways to Annoy People in Public Bathrooms:
Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe brekas the silence w/ a bodily function noise.
Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."
Drop a marble and say, "Oh crap! My glass eye!"
Fill a balloon w/ creamed corn. Rush into the stall w/ your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
Fill up a large flask w/ Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 ft. Sigh relaxingly.
Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peekaboo!"
Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!"
Say, "Dang, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
Say, "Dang, this water's cold."
Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
Say, "Interesting...more floaters than sinkers."
Say, "Now how did that get there?"
Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could
you kick that back over here please?"
On your way out of the bathroom and someone using a stall, turn off the lights!
General Ways to Annoy People:
Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. Then eat raw potatoes.
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
As people talk, smell their shoulders.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
Ask people what gender they are.
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Ask to "interface" with someone.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you."
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."
Be "in conference" all the time.
Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"
Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways.
Bring 15 things into the dressing room.
Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality"
Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.
Buy it, wear it, return it.
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Call every girl you know "dude".
Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonalds.
Call everyone a communist.
Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.
Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
Call someone and ask for someone that you know is not there then hang up. Call again about a half hour latter and ask for the same person then hang up again. Wait another half hour and call again and ask for that person again and then hang up again and wait a hour and call the same number and say that you are the person that you have been calling for and ask if you had any messages.
Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
Call your neighbors collect.
Change Channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Chew on pens/pncils that you've borrowed.
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Claim you are fluent in over 6 million forms of communication - constantly, every time any language is mentioned, even if the comment is not directed to you
Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.
Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.
Close your eyes and start snoring whenever anyone tries to talk to you.
Consistently refer to everyone as 'mortal.'
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.
Continually try to get all of the people who write you letters to put cellophane tape over their stamps so that you can wipe off the postmark and reuse them.
Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.
Continuously mumble during a conversation.
Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"
Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa.
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Develop strategies for cutting into the front of lines.
Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Don't clean the dryer lint screen.
Don't leave a message at the beep, just hangup.
Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back.
Don't stand during hymns and anthems.
dont use any punctuation
Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly.
Draw mustaches on posters.
Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Drive half a block.
Drum on every available surface.
Drum your fingers during other people's presentations.
Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet.
Eat produce at the market; don't buy it.
E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren't actually there.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
Every time you see a particular coworker, shout, "So we meet again!" and laugh evilly.
Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.
Face the back when standing in an elevator.
Fart in cramped places.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do".
Finish other people's crossword puzzles
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Flirt with a friend's spouse, lick your lips slowly, wink, etc.
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel.
Force everyone to remove their shoes when they enter your office "to prevent contamination."
Forget the pooper scooper.
"Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Frantically change the date on people's computers back 50 years, and claim that you are trying to save humanity from the "Year 2000 Bug."
Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme.
Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaining these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!"
Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave.
Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.
Go up the down escalator.
Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.
Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town.
Hang around national monuments all day, trying to get in other people's vacation photos. Afterwards, give them your address and ask them to send you a print when they get them developed.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
In an office, lock all the doors behind you.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President.
Insist on buying airplane tickets for friends to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that you didn't really save them any money.
Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. Claim to be AMS certified.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.
Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.
Insist that your e-mail address be zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.
Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads.
Leave pages in the copier.
Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April.
Leave the toilet seat up
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Leave your Metallica CD in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower.
Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Lie to your therapist.
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!"
Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Make scary faces at babies.
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi." (Hmmm, I guess our President has already co-opted this idea!)
Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.
Mow your carpet. (Or preferably somebody else's)
Mow your lawn with scissors.
Name your dog "Dog."
Never break eye contact.
Never make eye contact.
Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.
On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.
On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway.
On buses, attempt to convince the driver to take a really cool short-cut you know. Barter and haggle for your fare.
On the public bus, keep asking the driver nervously, "are we there yet?"
only type in lowercase.
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
Open umbrellas in crowded hallways.
Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Outloud say "What?" and then answer "Never mind. It's gone now."
Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Pay tolls with 100 bills
Pee in the swimming pool.
Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.
Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage.
Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.
Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want.
Place your shoes on the table.
Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up!
Plead with the person next to you for the window seat on the plane, and then get up fifteen or twenty times during the course of the flight complaining that you should have taken two spoonsful of "The Pink Stuff".
Poke anyone near you and say, "stop violating my personal space."
Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are "just reorganizing things."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Practice the art of limp handshakes
Press the "power" button on on someone's computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment.
Pretend you are invisible.
Pretend you have gone completely deaf.
Pretend your computers mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it.
Pretend you're listening.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of FBI copyright warnings.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations.
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Put everyone on speakerphone.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
Race the old woman for the last bus seat.
Rain on someone's parade.
Read over other people's shoulders on the bus.
Rearrange the keys on associates' keyboards to spell unflattering things about their mothers.
Recite every song from the Playstation games PaRappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy.
Recite Shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet.
Recite the first 100 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too.
Remove single socks from laundry machines at public laundromats. Replace them bright red scarves which are especially prone to bleeding.
Repeat everything someone says as a question.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Ride a unicycle to work.
Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in.
Run around holding your elbows and asking people to please take the straightjacket off you.
Run through the halls of your office building or school with your arms outstretched, making airplane noises. Periodically crash into pedestrians and lose a wing. Spiral to a crash and repeat.
Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one.
Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"
Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural."
See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window.
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Send e-mail to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your agency's programs. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
Send emails to listserv when nobody else can
Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.
Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures.
Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and Twinkies on Thanksgiving.
Set alarms for random times.
Shake with your left hand.
Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Sing along at the opera.
Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team.
Slap people and tell them to stop grabbing your ass.
Smell smoke often and announce it.
Snap your gum.
Sniffle incessantly.
Speak in a strong Welsh accent.
Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills.
Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2.
Spread fertilizer on half your neighbor's lawn.
Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave the cap off.
Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
Start to build a Star Destroyer. Build a mock-up out of popsicle sticks.
Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you.
Step on the heels of the person in front of you, and ask them to watch where they're going.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Surprise old friend's by visiting them at 3AM "to discuss old times".
Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's.
Tailgate the elderly.
Take more than 10 items to the express checkout lane
Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house.
Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.
Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.
Tape a blank piece of typing paper to your dorm or office door and leave it up for ages; when someone finally writes on it, yell at them and tell them to please not deface your property.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin.
Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus.
Tell people that they're "putting on weight nicely."
Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.
Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweatpants.
Tell people they have bad breath.
Tell small children that they don't look very promising.
Tell teenagers how things were in your day.
Tell the ending of movies
Throw an Oh Henry in a public pool.
Throw newspapers back at paperboys.
Throw stones at people walking past your house.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Touch strangers.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say.
Unbend all the paperclips you can find, then replace every eraser you can find with a rubber band.
Use the last square of toilet paper and do not change the roll.
Vacuum your lawn. (Or preferably somebody else's)
Wait until you get to work to shave.
Walk around at the casino, looking at people's hands and giving them advice loudly. "Wow, that's a GOOD one!" or "Get rid of the nine; you've got a pair of kings!"
Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.
Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"
Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family.
Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant.
Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you, move in front of them when the try.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
Wear a lot\of cologne.
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Wear alarming combinations of pink and green and comment about everybody else's fashion sense.
Wear large hats during the movies.
Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.
Wear odd shoes.
Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.
Wear your pants backwards.
When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining.
When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.)
When at dinner at a fancy restaurant, keep blowing out the candle in the middle of the table, and blame it on your date.
When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.
When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.
When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."
When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off.
When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.
When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you.
When people ask you to do things, mutter under your breath, "This won't be neccessary where you are going."
When riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?"
When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."
When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.
When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.
When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises.
When walking, talk to yourself constantly.
When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".
Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know."
Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.
Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.
Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"
Whenever someone lights a cigarette, tackle the person and yell "Stop, drop, and roll!"
While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive and put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).
Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
(\ _ /)
(O.o )
This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination
SO THAT WAS MY EXTREMELY LONG PROFILE! IF YOU READ THE ENTIRE THING...WOW, GET A LIFE (DON'T FEEL BAD, I DON'T HAVE A LIFE EITHER, HAHA). I DIDNT EVEN READ IT ALL! ANYWHO, FEEL FREE TO TAKE ANYTHING!