Yo, Padfoot!

Bugger off, I'm busy doing hugely important things.
What's up anyway?

Nothing you do should be more important than your best mate.
Not much up. Eyes on the class, Padsie.

I'm watching Moony. Much more important than you.
You were the one to ask me. Now, tell old Aunty Padfoot what's wrong?

"Old Aunty Padfoot"? I like that. It has nice ring to it. From now on you shall be Old Aunty Padfoot.
Mate, perhaps you've forgotten that Moony has eyes in the back of his head.
And nothing's wrong.

Moony does not have eyes in the back of his head. He is, in fact, thoroughly oblivious when it comes to, erh, my finer feelings.
Nothing's wrong? Come on, Prongs, you normally pay attention in DADA. Though it's very brave and honourable denying anything being wrong when, just this morning, the girl of your dreams chucked egg at your face.
OAP

Oh really? Well then explain to me why, just yesterday, Moony was complaining about "swearing he could feel someone staring at him half the time".
Do you think she'll ever like me?

Well, he doesn't know it's me. And to be honest, it could have been that pratty Maria Johnson who was looking. You know, the pretty one with the huge... anyway. Don't like her.
You don't want me to reply to that. Really. I have your best interests at heart.

You know what? I bet she likes me really, and she's just hiding it.
Didn't you go out with Maria Johnson once? You liked her well enough then.

Did I? Well, she is quite cute. Which makes me hate her even more.
That's the spirit, my boy. Keep throwing yourself head first into the wall of bricks that is Lily Evans. One of you has to break sometime.
And you know, I swear I saw her smile a little at your (terrific, may I say) joke on Slughorn and his bezoar stones.

Passing notes by email in a free period at school, 11 November 2009.