My Name is-Emma Anderson-Taylor Macallister Van Rensselaer

I'm 6'

I apologizes ahead of time for any spelling mistakes. I can't spell to save my life.

I also apologize for my haphazard updating. I have a hard time staying on one topic. I am the ultimate spaz.

Stuff that is Not mine but will make your life slightly more interesting

"Anyone who clings to the hisorically untrue and thoroughly immoral doctrine that 'violence never solves anything' i would advise to conjure up the ghosts of napoleon and the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. the Ghost of Hitler could referee. Violence has settled more issues in history than has any other factor." Starship Troopers

"Happiness consists in gettin enough sleep. Just that, nothing more. All the wealthy, unhappy people you've ever met take sleeping pills; mobile infantrymen don't need them. Give a cap trooper a bunk and time to sack out in it, And he's as happy as a worm in an apple-asleep" Starship Troopers

"There are no dangerous weapons; there are only dangerous men" Starship Troopers

At this point I have relized that it would be easier to have you just read Starship Troopers that have me just continue to quote it. so read it. NOT the movie.

EVER WONDER

where we are headed...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?’

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push copy this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you believe Narnia is real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you believe Middle Earth is real, copy and paste this to your profile

Even when you can't see him, GOD is there! If you believe in God, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are crazy, odd, unique, not-normal, random, a freak of nature, or anything else that applies, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you despise mathematics and wish teachers would stop saying, "Why of course you'll need to learn it, no matter what you do with your life!", copy and paste this into your profile. (And if you believe that being an author does NOT REQUIRE ADVANCED ALGEBRA, copy and paste it with a vengeance.)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent that would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. (Mine has a tendency to randomly freeze and then go to not a blue-screen-of-death but a black-and-white-striped-screen-of-death.)

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace/Facebook/Twitter is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "cookie", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

A friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A good friend is someone who won’t say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just help you cry. If you have a true friend copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you believe that over half of all you say/write/think doesn't come out right and is complete stupidity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet/foot, copy this into your profile.If you have ever tripped over a pillow, copy this into your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you ever walked into a wall repeatedly for no specific reason put this on your profile

If random songs just pop into your head at any given momet, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family ect. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a glass door, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just one review, paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read something and had something a teacher said the next day remind you of what you read to the point where you burst into outragous stifled laughterand had your "peers" look at you strangely or point and laugh at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a CHOC AHOLIC -TALK AHOLIC -OR A-SHOP AHOLIC then copy and paste this!

If you are Anti-Abortion and you want the whole world to know that killing little babies is wrong even if they aren't born yet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father and the glory of Heaven.

If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.

If you've been called insane multiple times by multiple people and yet you still deny your insanity copy and paste this into your profile

If you OBJECT to the Harry Potter movies and are unable to discern their resemblence to the books (other then the character's names) copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried more than twice reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, please copy and paste this into your profile. Nothin' to be ashamed of. I cried when hedwig died, when dobby died all through the last four chapters. Yes, I am pathetic. But I'm proud.)

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile.

If you think the Harry Potter movies are like a bad fanfiction story copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of the obsessed Harry Potter fans who spent all of July 20th camped out in a store waiting for your book, and upon recieving your book you immediately decided to forgo sleep and read the entire book in one sitting copy and paste this into your profile. (It took me 4 hours and 45 minutes, my sis timed me).

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you agree with this quote copy and paste it into your profile.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with over 30 characters from books...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil? If you agree with that copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (I live in my own little world. but it's ok, they know me there)

Bad spellers of the world UNTIE! If you are a bad speller and proud of it copy this to your profile.

If you have ever posted more than 20 of those "...paste this on your profile..." tidbits, paste this on your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

You laugh because I am different, I laugh because you are all the same.

I like to make up stories, becuase those who make up stories are never alone.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

when Life gives you lemons, through them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons?

when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what? a pocket dimension?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere)

On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Whenever I see and old lady slip and fall on a sidewalk, my instinct is to laugh. But then I think, "What if I was an ant and she fell on me?" then it wouldn't see quite so funny.

I have ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I like long walks. Especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.

I'd kill for a body like yours except I don't have any more room to store it.

The first sign of maturity is discovering the volume knob also turns to the left...

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright before they speak.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandpa. Not screaming and yelling like the people in his car.

When you wish on a shooting star, your wish will come true. Unless that star is actually a meteor headed straight towards Earth. Then you're dead no matter what you wish for. Unless your wish was for death by meteor.

The early bid may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news starts by them telling you "Good evening," then proceeding to tell you why its not.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hope its not a train...

Squirrels...Nature's little speed bumps.

Laughter is always the best medicine... Except when you have cancer... Then Kemo is...

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train stations is where a train stops. My desk is called a work station...

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.

I like patries but I don't like pinatas...Because the pinata promotes violence against flambouyant animals...

I was making pancakes the other day and fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatual is a lot like a fly swatter... And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry...

A drunk driver is very dangerous. But so is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive... 'Dude make a left.' 'Those are trees...' 'Trust me.'

I like fruit baskets, because a fruit basket enables you to send fruit to someone without appearing insane. If you just mail somebody some apples, they're like, 'What the hell is this?' But if you put those apples in a basket, they're like 'This is nice.'

My favorite fruit is grapes because with grapes, you always get another chance. If you get a crappy apple or peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you get a crappy grape, you just move onto the next one. Grapes-the fruit of hope.

I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone'...

About a month ago, I got a cactus. And a week later, it died. And I got really depressed because I thought, 'Damn. I'm less nurturing than a desert.'

I want to make a jigsaw puzzle with 40,000 pieces that when you're finished with it, it says: 'Go outside'.

Sort of is such a harmless thing to say... It's just a filler. It doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort means everything. Like after, 'I love you.' Or 'You're going to live'.

I bought a clock the other day, but the minute hand fell off. I didn't want to throw the clock away so I just added an 'ish' to every number.

If I had a book store, I'd make the mystery section really hard to find. 'Excuse me, do you have any mystery novels?' 'That's a damn good question.'

I've always wanted to buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together...People will ask, 'Are those hermit crabs?' And i'll say, 'Not anymore. These are mingling crabs'.

Don't take life seriously. No one makes it out alive.

Education is important. school however, is another matter.

"As I lay in bed last night, looking up at the stars and the moon, I thought to myself, 'Where the hell is my ceiling?'"

"If you can't convince them, confuse them." –Anonymous

(")_(") : Copy this and paste it into your profile and help bunny gain world domination!

We are all fallen angels, but only some of us have wings...

Friends are quiet angels, who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

"You're letting him drive? Our lives are in the hands of an idiot!"Son, Moon Child

"Everything in this room, everything you see is eatable. Even I myself am eatable--except that is called cannabalism, children, and it is frowned upon in most societies."
- Johnny Depp (as Willy Wonka), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

"Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad." -- Norm Papernick

'Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less-advanced life-forms, and they'll call you crazy'. -- Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." -- Lily Tomlin

"The question is not whether the whole of our lives will be shaped by some grand story. The only question is which grand story will shape our lives."

- Michael. W. Goheen

Month One
Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home thought.
It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too.
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I dont like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor calls it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just...
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Abortion Is WRONG