Hello People of Fanfiction!!I am WarriorsTwilightJasper!I will not be posting any stories because everything that I write has nothing to do with other things.If I do post stories they will be about Warriors or Twilight.If I make a Twilight fanfiction I will always include my signiture charecter,Becca.She is 13 years old and a vampire.She was turned by Carlisle right after he was turned.She was walking through an alley(not the smartest thing to do)and saw him right after he changed.He bit her but then reilized what happened and stopped.She was seperated from him for some time before finding him again right before Bella came.I just thought I would tell you this so you don't get confused.

I am working on a story called Slash.It is about a cat who is killing other cats.The main charecter is Flame,a fiery orange tom who has a brown stripe going down his back,brown paws,and a brown tail tip.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to sugar, copy this into your profile.

I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, PLEASE copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy this onto your profile.

If you have actually read all these 'if you's, copy this into your profile.

If you ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this your profile.

If you have ever been watching a TV show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

Ways to make sure you're insane

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk
.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"

If Justin Bieber was standing on a skyscraper about to jump 99% of the teenage girls would be crying. I would be the other 1% that would run up behind him and push him my self.

If Justin Bieber where standing on top of a building, 95% of the teenage world would be crying. The rest of us would be sitting there with some popcorn and a camera yelling:

"Do A FLIP!"

The Stupid Test! (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, then u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

() You have run into a glass/screen door.

() You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.

(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

~total so far=3~

() You have run into a tree.

() It IS possible to lick your elbow

(x) You just tried to lick your elbow.

(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.

(x) You just tried to sing them.

(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

(x) You have choked on your own spit.

() You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.

(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice

(x) You just looked at it.

(x) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.

() People have called you slow.

~total so far=11 ~

(x) You have accidentally caught something on fire (More than once...)

(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.

(x) You have caught yourself drooling. (I WAS THINKING!!!)

(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class (who hasn't?)

() If someone says “fart” you laugh.

() You just laughed.

~total so far=15 ~

(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking

(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about

(x) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you

() You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

(x) You use your fingers to do simple math.

~total so far=19 ~

() You have eaten a bug.

(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important (Sleep, work on stories, list goes on)

() You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.

~total so far=21 ~

() You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.

(x) You break a lot of things.

() Your friends know not to use big words around you

(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused

(x) You have fallen out of your chair before

(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

~Total all together= 25~

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

If this does not bring tears to your eyes are even stirs your heart, then you a cold bastard that doesn't deserve the luxury of a nice house, warm food, and a soft bed.

One More Soul That Never Got A Chance…

I just wanted to be a good family cat. Play around with children and sleep with my owners. I never thought this would happen…

“I would like that one.”

I never thought I would be chosen. To be one of the poor souls here. I never wanted any of this…

“Are you sure? There are many others to choose from.”

I-I just wanted to live a happy life, in a warm home. Not here, in this hell…

“Yes I’m sure.”

I whimper in pain as a caliper clamps down on my neck. I am raised out of my cage, the other 13 cats staring at me with sad eyes…

“How would you like it?”

It is hard to breath as I am just hanging here. I recount my life. All the cats I hear and see killed. I even feel for the dogs who get the same treatment. It sickens me to see it, and now it’s happening to me…

“Half-dead.”

I begin to pant as I see a man go over and get a metal pole…

“Are you sure you want it half-dead now?”

Please, say no. Just let him kill me and get it over with…

“Yes I am sure.”

I cry out in pain as the pole hit me in the head. He reared back and hit me harder. My blood splatters the ground…

“Harder. I want to leave soon, I have a meeting to go to at 1.”

Smack

Gasp

Smack

Whimper

Smack

Twitch

I breath faintly as my wounds gush out blood, my fur soaked in my own blood. I now only can twitch as the pole beats me…

“That good?”

Please, let him just finish me off…

“Yes.”

I am tossed into a bag, and I breath very slowly. Here I am bleeding to death in a plastic bag…

“Thank you for your services sir.”

Why doesn’t someone do something? I am a living creature just like them! I did nothing wrong! So what did I do to deserve this?

“Your welcome, and I will come back for another soon.”

More condemned to this life. To this life of torture. A cat deserves a family, the ability to play with toys, have kits, and sleep in the crook of a bent knee. Not this, nothing deserves this…

“Have a good day sir.”

My breath has almost stopped, most of blood now gone. I close my eyes and wait for the death that is coming. My heart slowly stops, my life now over. I guess I was just one more soul that never got a chance…

Copy and Paste this into your profile if this made you sick and feel for the animals in pain all over the world. This is the link to the article it was based off of --

If you wish you were a Clan cat, copy this to your profile, and add your name to the list: Troublestripe, Loyalflame, Hawkfire, Wildheart, Sakeraa, Sparrowflight, Warriorsfanatic17, Sapphirepaw, Shadeheart, Brightheart7, Shatterstream, Fallenheart, Rainstorm, Feathertail1021, Softfrost, Dewsong, SpottedStar -Riverclan Leader-Avatar-state craziness, oXoXLeafheartXoXo, WarriorsTwilightJasper