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Quotes I Like

“There's plenty of sense in nonsense sometimes, if you wish to look for it.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel“Ah,” said a voice from the doorway, “having your annual ‘everyone thinks Will is a lunatic’ meeting, are you?
“It’s biannual,” said Jem. “And no, this is not that meeting.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“They’re not hideous,” said Tessa.
Will blinked at her. “What?”
“Gideon and Gabriel,” said Tessa. “They’re really quite good-looking, not hideous at all.”
“I spoke,” said Will, in sepulchral tones, “of the pitch-black inner depths of their souls.”
Tessa snorted. “And what color do you suppose the inner depths of your soul are, Will Herondale?”
“Mauve,” said Will.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“Jessamine recoiled from the paper as if it were a snake. "A lady does not read the newspaper. The society pages, perhaps, or the theater news. Not this filth."
"But you are not a lady, Jessamine--," Charlotte began.
"Dear me," said Will. "Such harsh truths so early in the morning cannot be good for the digestion.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel“Trains are great dirty smoky things," said Will. "You won't like it."
Tessa was unmoved. "I won't know if I like it until I try it, will I?"
"I've never swum naked in the Thames before, but I know I wouldn't like it."
"But think how entertaining for sightseers," said Tessa, and she saw Jem duck his head to hide the quick flash of his grin.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“Jem is nothing but goodness. That he struck you last night only shows how capable you are of driving even saints to madness.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“Love potions? For Will Herondale? T’aint my way to turn down payment, but any man who looks like you has got no need of love potions, and that’s a fact.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“I shall charm him with such force that when I am done, he will be left lying limply on the ground, trying to remember his own name.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“Astriola. That IS demon pox. You had evidence that demon pox existed and you didnt mention it to me! Et tu, Brute!' He rolled up the paper and hit Jem over the head with it.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince“Tess, Tess, Tessa.

Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isn’t it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy.

Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught me to love this book where I had scorned it. When I read it for the second time, with an open mind and heart, I felt the most complete despair and envy of Sydney Carton. Yes, Sydney, for even if he had no hope that the woman he loved would love him, at least he could tell her of his love. At least he could do something to prove his passion, even if that thing was to die.

I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, Tessa, if I could have been assured that death would be my own. And that is why I envied Sydney, for he was free.

And now at last I am free, and I can finally tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart.

You are not the last dream of my soul.

You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth.

With hope at least,
Will Herondale

”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince: Will's Love Letter to Tessa“Dear me. Such harsh truths so early in the morning cannot be good for the digestion.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel“Puck turned to Sabrina. "What is she doing down there?"
Hiding, I guess."
Puck leaned down and poked his head under the seat. "I found you."
Ms. Smirt shrieked.
Puck lifted himself up to his full height and laughed. "She's fun."
He leaned back down and she screamed again. "I could do this all day. Can I keep her?”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter WarYou ignorant little rodent! This isn't just an old book. This is the book of Everafter."
"Sorry, I haven't read it. I'm waiting for the movie," Puck said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“When did you suddenly become Mister Maturity?”
― Michael Buckley, Once Upon a Crime“The only bad ideas are the ones never tried.”
― Michael Buckley, The Problem Child“That's the coolest thing I've ever seen," Puck said.
"How cool will it be when it kills us?" Sabrina asked.
"Considerably less cool," Puck replied.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“He turned into a rhinocerous," Ms. Smirt said.
"He does that," Sabrina said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter WarGet quotes dailyJoin GoodreadsMichael Buckley Quotes
Michael Buckley quotes (showing 1-50 of 52)“I mean, if you could have a wizard grant a wish, would you waste it on going to Kansas?”
― Michael Buckley80 people liked itlike“You can't judge the many by the actions of the few.”
― Michael Buckley, The Fairy-Tale Detectives68 people liked itlike“Please, don't hate me because I am beautiful.”
― Michael Buckley, The Unusual Suspectstags: humor-sister-grimm59 people liked itlike“When did you suddenly become Mister Maturity?”
― Michael Buckley, Once Upon a Crimetags: fantasy, humor55 people liked itlike“The only bad ideas are the ones never tried.”
― Michael Buckley, The Problem Child52 people liked itlike“Puck swung the cannon around in anger. The nozzle spun and hit Sabrina in the chest. The force was so pawerful she was knocked right off the platform and fell backward off the tower. She saw sky above her and felt the wind in her hair. How ironic, she thought, as she fell to her certain death, that at that moment she would have given anything to be a giant goose again.
Air rushed past Sabrina's ears and suddenly she felt her back tingling again. A moment later she was hanging upside down, inches from the ground. She looked up to find her savior, only to find that her her wasn't a person but a long, furry tail sticking out of the back of her pants. It was wrapped around a beam in the tower a kept her swinging there like a monkey.
Puck floated down to her, his wings flapping softly enough to allow him to hover.
"I bet you think this is hilarious. Look what you did to me with your stupid pranks. I have a tail!" she raged.
Puck's face was trembling. "I'm sorry."
"What?" Sabrina said blankly.
"I almost killed you. I'm sorry, Sabrina," he said, rubbing his eyes on his filthy hoodie. He lifted her off the tower and set her on the ground.
"Since when do you care?" Sabrina said, still stunned by the boy's apology.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter Wartags: remorse51 people liked itlike“The night is young, and by the grace of magic, so are we.”
― Michael Buckley, The Fairy-Tale Detectives48 people liked itlike“Puck turned to Sabrina. "What is she doing down there?"
Hiding, I guess."
Puck leaned down and poked his head under the seat. "I found you."
Ms. Smirt shrieked.
Puck lifted himself up to his full height and laughed. "She's fun."
He leaned back down and she screamed again. "I could do this all day. Can I keep her?”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter Wartags: daphne, ms-smirt, puck, sabrina, sisters-grimm, train47 people liked itlike“Now you get off that Pegasus and come down here and start acting your age!"
"Honey, he's four thousand years old," Veronica said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War47 people liked itlike“That's the coolest thing I've ever seen," Puck said.
"How cool will it be when it kills us?" Sabrina asked.
"Considerably less cool," Puck replied.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter Wartags: humor46 people liked itlike“You ignorant little rodent! This isn't just an old book. This is the book of Everafter."
"Sorry, I haven't read it. I'm waiting for the movie," Puck said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter Wartags: puck, sisters-grimm46 people liked itlike“He turned into a rhinocerous," Ms. Smirt said.
"He does that," Sabrina said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War43 people liked itlike“Maybe one of the monsters ate him," Daphne whimpered.
"That would be awesome," Puck said.
Sabrina flashed him an angry look.
"Awesome in a terrible, heartbreakingly tragic way," Puck continued.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“Trickster, love will be the end of you.”
― Michael Buckley, The Unusual Suspects“So Henry," Puck said as he kicked off his shoes and propped his smelly feet on the kitchen table. "I was wondering what you can tell me about puberty."
Henry turned pale and stammered.
Sabrina wanted to crawl under the table and die.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“Don't disrespect the sword marshmallow.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“I ate her cooking for eighteen years," he whispered. "You get used to it."
"Oh yeah, when?"
"I think it happened around the seventeenth year," Henry said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“But know this, if you get killed out there I'm going to fire you.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“I was going to say he's aimless," the witch replied. "I know he's a bit old to be old to living at home with his mom, but he's had a difficult time holding a job. He's worked at Wendy's, Taco Bell, and Burger King, but it all ends the same way- he challenges his manager to combat, takes over the restaurant, and enslaves his coworkers. Then it's back to video games." - Morgan le Fay”
― Michael Buckley, Magic and Other Misdemeanors“Freaky monsters were trying to kill us," Sabrina said. "Should I have just died out there so you could keep your clubhouse secret?"
"Absolutely!" the prince said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“That's why crazy people are so dangerous. You think they're nice until they're chaining you up in the garage.”
― Michael Buckley, The Fairy-Tale Detectives“Nothing like a puppet to give you the willies.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War“..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different”
― Michael Buckley, The Unusual Suspects“But that is love, isn't it? It's terribly inconvenient. It sweeps you up and stales your attention and slows down your work. our labors fall behind, our friends report us missing, and everything comes to a screeching halt! Everything, that is, except what truly matters in this life -- true love. We've all been there. We know the feelings. So when we see it in a friend, a dear, dear friend, we throw down our work and we celebrate. We rejoice. We raise a glass. Because when we recognize it in the hearts of friends, it reminds us of how important it is in our own. Mr. Seven, you are and always have been my companion and friend. You have made me a better man, and almost on a daily basis you have reminded me that I too need to celebrate the love in my life. - William Charming”
― Michael Buckley, The Council of Mirrors“The world is always ruled by a maniac. - Baba Yaga”
― Michael Buckley, The Council of Mirrors“You've never heard of the Trickster King?" Puck asked, shocked.
The girls shook their heads.
"The Prince of Fairies? Robin Goodfellow? The Imp?"
"Do you work for Santa?" Daphne asked.
"I'm a fairy, not an elf!" Puck roared. "You really don't know who I am! Doesn't anyone read the classics anymore? Dozens of writers have warned about me. I'm in the most famous of all of William Shakespeare's plays."
"I don't remember any Puck in Romeo and Juliet," Sabrina muttered, feeling a little amused at how the boy was reacting to his non-celebrity.
"Besides Romeo and Juliet!" Puck shouted. "I'm the star of a Midsummer Night's Dream!"
"Congratulation," Sabrina said flatly. "Never read it.”
― Michael Buckley, The Fairy-Tale Detectives“Save the people you love, who cares about the rest of the world? - Uncle Jake”
― Michael Buckley, The Council of MirrorsOnly bad books have good endings.
If a book is any good, it's ending is always bad - because you don't want the book to end.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“USE COMMON SENSE. If somebody offers you a thousand dollars for this book, chances are their motives are not pure. Then again, a thousand dollars is a lot of money. Take the money and run.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, This Isn't What It Looks Like“But remember what I said about forgetting what I said?”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Xxxx xxxx x xxxx, xxxxx xxx x xxx xxx x xxxx. Xxxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxx xxxx xx Xxxxxxx.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Please be SILENT and LISTEN.
I am the SCHOOLMASTER
and you are in the CLASSROOM.
Just like ELEVEN PLUS TWO equals
TWELVE PLUS ONE,
And even a FUNERAL can be REAL FUN,
You will find my DICTIONARY
is quite INDICATORY.
If you want to read my story, just look...
THEN UNREAD.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“*Appendix usually means "small outgrowth from large intestine," but in this case it means "additional information accompanying main text." Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Very little in this world makes sense.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late“Oh, talking is not so bad as that,' said the Jester. 'True, most people say only silly things when they speak. But it's easier to ignore them if you're saying silly things yourself.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late“It was like walking into a treasure trove of books, hoarded by pirate librarians.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is SecretI ate him,' said the homunculus, biting into his sausage.
The kids couldn't hide their looks of horror.
He smiled, sausage juice running down his chin. 'Oh, don't worry - I cooked him first. I'm not a barbarian.” One dictionary defines denouement as "a final part in which everything is made clear and no questions or surprises remain." By that definition, it is exactly the wrong word to describe this chapter. This chapter will make nothing clear; it will raise many questions; and it may even contain a surprise or two. But I say we call it the denouement anyway because the words sounds so sophisticated and French.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Death is like an old dog. He always knows when you are at his door.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, This Book Is Not Good for You“Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”
― Pseudonymous BoschVeronica ran out to tell Amber the shocking news - and returned in less than a minute with another message for Yo-Yoji: "Amber says she was watching and she knows you got in detention on purpose," she said breathlessly. "Because you have a crush on Cass!"
Cass's ears instantly turned red.
Max-Ernest looked like he'd been hit by a truck.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late“Before we do, I suggest you take a break. If you need to go to the bathroom, this is a good time. If you're sleepy, go to bed and save the next chapter for tomorrow. For the magician's story, you must have all your wits about you. No wandering minds allowed.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Better to cry wolf over and over than never to cry wolf at all.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“The first expert said he had attention deficit disorder. The second expert said the first was out of order. One said he was autistic, another that he was artistic. One said he had Tourette's syndrome. One said he had Asperger's syndrome. And one said the problem was that his parents had Munchausen syndrome. Still another said all he needed was a good old-fashioned spanking.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Why did so many grown-ups want to be young, she wondered, when it took so long to grow old? It was like going on a million-mile road trip then wanting to turn around without getting out of the car.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Some secrets are meant to be known- but once known you can never forget them.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is SecretYou know, people always warn children about taking candy from strange adults. But they never warn us adults about taking candy from strange children.
All those sweet-looking kids who sell boxes of candy bars on the street to help pay for schooling - how do we know what's in those bars? And don't even get me stated on that nefarious institution designed to lure unsuspecting customers into buying mysterious frosted goodies: the bake sale.
Adults, be warned: if a child wanted to poison you it would be a piece of cake! Literally a piece of cake.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, This Book Is Not Good for You“Not all novelists are power-hungry madman. Some are power-hungry madwomen.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“You must have your wits about you. No wandering minds allowed.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Who needs to go somewhere when you can read about it.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“WARNING:
DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS PAGE!”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“...books were better than travel.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“Cassandra, when you want to speak to me, you should say 'Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson.' Then wait until you get my attention."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson. Do I have your attention now?”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret“And I don't know if Batty's gotten over it yet,' said Skye.

Mr. Penderwick looked out the window to where Batty was playing vampires with Hound. Hound was on his back, trying to wiggle out of the black towel Batty had tied around his neck. Batty was leaping over Hound's water bowl, shrieking, 'Blood, blood!'

'She looks all right,' he said.”
― Jeanne Birdsall, The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy“The referee told me this league has never had a brawl of that magnitude," said Mr. Penderwick after a long, painful silence. "Of course, at the time I was pretending to be a casual passerby and not a father at all.”
― Jeanne Birdsall, The Penderwicks on Gardam Street“Am I odd?Is there something wrong with me,like Mrs.Tifton Said?"

Skye knelt down on the wet grass and looked straight into Batty's eyes. "No you stupid idiot,there's nothing wrong. with you.”
― Jeanne Birdsall, The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy“I'm not going to wear a red dress," she said.
"It would look stunning, My Lady," she called.
She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. "If there's anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I'll hit him in the face.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“What are you grinning at?" Katsa demanded for the third or fourth time. "Is the ceiling about to cave in on my head or something? You look like we're both on the verge of an enormous joke."
"Katsa, only you would consider the collapse of the ceiling a good joke.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks and scream if I hear any strange noises.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“Lady Katsa, is it?"
"Yes, Lord Prince."
"I've heard you have one eye green as the Middluns grasses, and the other eye blue as the sky."
"Yes, Lord Prince."
"I've heard you can kill a man with the nail of your smallest finger."
She smiled. "Yes, Lord Prince."
"Does it make it easier?"
"I don't understand you."
"To have beautiful eyes. Does it lighten the burden of your Grace, to know you have beautiful eyes?”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“She knew he was angry, but she couldn't stop laughing. "Forgive me, Po. I was only trying to get your attention."

"And I suppose it never occurs to you to start small. If I told you my roof needed rebuilding, you'd start by knocking down the house.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“Skye kissed her forehead. "You saved my life."
Katsa smiled. "You Lienid are very outward in your affection."
"I'm going to name my firstborn child after you."
Katsa laughed at that. "For the child's sake, wait for a girl. Or even better, wait until all your children are older and give my name to whichever is the most troublesome and obstinate.
Skye burst into laughter and hugged her, and Katsa returned his embrace. And realized that quite without her intending it, her guarded heart had made another friend.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“It seems better to me for a child to have these skills and never use them, than not have them and one day need them," she said.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“I'll teach you how to defend yourself, how to maim a man. We can use Po as a model.'

'Wonderful,' Po said. 'It's quite boring really, the way you beat me to death with your hands and feet, Katsa. It'll be refreshing to have you come at me with a knife.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“I wouldn't marry Giddon to save my life," Katsa said. "Not even to save yours."
"Well." Raffin's eyes were full of laughter. "I'd leave that part out.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“In the end, Leck should have stuck to his lies. For it was the truth he almost told that killed him.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling“Your hair looks funny," Lief said, as soon as the Ugloids left. "It stands straight up!"
No," said Nick, intensely irritated, "It's hanging straight down."
Lief just gave him an upside-down shrug. "Up is down in China and you're part-Chinese.”
― Neal Shusterman, Everlost“And next to Allie, the screamer, once more reminded of his job, began to wail in Allie's ear. Reflexively Allie clapped her hand over his mouth. "That," she said, "is totally uncalled for. Don't do that again. Ever." The screamer looked at her with worried eyes. "Are we clear on this subject?" said Allie. The screamer nodded and she removed her hand.
"Can I scream a little?" he asked.
"No," said Allie. "Your screaming days are over."
"Darn." And he was quiet thereafter.”
― Neal Shusterman, Everlost“This game's stupid," said Lief. "Who the heck is Zelda, anyway?”
― Neal Shusterman, Everlost“This is not going to be easy. I'm good at being bad, but I'm bad at being good. I don't know the first thing about good deeds.”
― Neal Shusterman, Everlost“Heaven might shine bright, but so do flames.”
― Neal Shusterman, Everwild“Adulthood can do the most horrific things to the best of people.”
― Neal Shusterman, Everwild“And," added Mikey. "she's my sister."
The others looked at him for a moment, and broke out laughing.
"Yeah, yeah," Squirrel scoffed, "and the McGill is my cousin."
Now Allie burst out laughing, which made Mikey more annoyed.
"If the McGill was your cousin," Mikey said, "I can guarantee he'd disown you.”
― Neal Shusterman, Everwild“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games“I'm coming back into focus when Caesar asks him if he has a girlfriend back home. Peeta hesitates, then gives an unconvincing shake of his head.

Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what’s her name?" says Caesar.

Peeta sighs. "Well, there is this one girl. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t know I was alive until the reaping."

Sounds of sympathy from the crowd. Unrequited love they can relate to.

She have another fellow?" asks Caesar.

I don’t know, but a lot of boys like her," says Peeta.

So, here’s what you do. You win, you go home. She can’t turn you down then, eh?" says Caesar encouraging-ly.

I don’t think it’s going to work out. Winning...won’t help in my case," says Peeta.

Why ever not?" says Caesar, mystified.

Peeta blushes beet red and stammers out. "Because...because...she came here with me.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games“Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games“Destroying things is much easier than making them.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games“I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games“I don't want to lose the boy with the bread.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games“You’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games“A red eight-sided sign always means:
A) Stop.
B) Go.
C) Danger! Red octogons ahead!”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother Story“What's a wingding? Why, a wingding is, uh...it's just like a shindig but without all the hullabaloo.”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother Story“He's getting away you idiots! Shoot him. I'm wearing Spider-Man underpants!”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother Story“As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a leaky boat. Well, except for that fact that boats are not generally round, orange and on fire. Hmm. Come to think of it, in no way whatsoever did the sun, in this instance, resemble a leaky boat. My apologies. That was a dreadful attempt at simile. Please allow me to try again.
As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a self-luminous, gaseous sphere comprised mainly of of hydrogen and helium.”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother Story“Well, well, well," said Aitch Dee, his arms folded across his chest.
"Well, well, well, well," replied Pavel, not to be out welled.”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother Story“Gone are the days when the old country doctor would drive out to your house and amputate your infected leg for a basket of goose eggs and a rhubarb pie.”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother Story“I'm one-half Cherokee, one-half Irish, one-half Turkish, one-half Australian and one-half Korean." "Excuse me, but that's five halves," said Maggie.”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother Story“The internal combustion engine, one of the greatest technological advancements in history, has an unfortunate downside, namely air pollution so thick that, very soon, sixty-four packs of crayons will include the color Sky Brown”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother StoryI'll get it," said Jough in his man-of-the-house voice, a full octave lower than his regular voice.”
― Cuthbert Soup, A Whole Nother Story“You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him participate in synchronized diving.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“Musicians have always had a better understanding of love than the rest of us. Over the years they have told us that love: is like a rock, is here to stay, is all you need, will find a way, will keep us together, will tear us apart, sucks.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“Advice to explorers everywhere: if you would like to recieve due credit for your discoveries, keep a detailed account of your journeys as Columbus did. On Septemeber 28, 1492, after four weeks at sea, he writes: Dear diary...I means journal. Yes, dear journal. That's what I meant to say. Whew. Anyway, we have yet to discover America, and the crew has become increasingly rebellious. I have decided to turn back if we have not spotted it by Columbus Day. Will write again later if not killed by crew. P.S. Last night's buffet was fabulous, the ice sculptures magnificent.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“There is no shortage of well-known pirates, including: Henry Morgan, Captain Kidd, Blackbeard, Blue beard, Yellowbeard, and Yellow beard with Black Roots, who surmised that, if blondes have more fun, then blond pirates must have a heck of a lot more fun.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“If there is one good thing about an angry mob, it's that they are so focused on being angry and mobbish that they sometimes miss little things. Things like a horse-drawn cart being driven by the very person who has made them so angry and mobbish in the first place.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“The great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“I seem to be allergic to whatever that terrible smell is," said Gateman when the urge to sneeze had finally subsided.
"What terrible smell?"
"The air," said Gateman. "It smells...different."
"That's called oxygen," said Professor Boxley. "Freh air. No cars, no buses, no factories; just pure, clean oxygen.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“I should mention, by the way, that LVR stands for Luminal Velocity Regulator. I suppose it could also stand for Large Venezeulan Rats, but in this case it does not.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“These reports that are not explained by natural phenomena or exploding outhouses are known as UFO's, which is the official abbreviation for Unidentified Flying Objects. I suppose it could also stand for Uncommonly Fat Orangutans, but in this case it does not.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“Why is it that they can only come up with one model of spaceship? You would assume such intelligent creatures could, once in a while, put out something in a nice powder blue and shaped like a footstool or maybe like France.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“Outrageous!" said Apalling.
"Apalling!" said Outrageous.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“[The main road was] now teeming with people carrying torches, pitchforks, and rakes, and one very confused man who apparently had mistaken the mob for a parade and was marching around with a Swedish flag.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“On the forest floor was the LVR's smoldering ceiling panel, just lying there like the lid of a sardine can that had been eagerly and violently thrown away by someone who very much liked sardines.”
― Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story“We have so much time and so little to do.”

-Willy Wonka

"He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead."Anon."A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages."Anon."Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."Anon."Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand."Anon."BASIC - A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company."Anon."Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."Anon."Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though."Anon."The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing."Anon."I speak BASIC to clients, 1-2-3 to management, and mumble to myself."Anon."Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."Anon."You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."Anon."COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key."Anon."One thing you can't recycle is wasted time."Anon."The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."Anon."A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune."Anon."Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye."Anon."Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying."Anon."If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation..."Anon."All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors."Anon."Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well."Anon."There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works."Anon."Some authors should be paid by the quantity NOT written."Anon."Necessity is the mother of invention."Anon."Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad."Anon."Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently."Anon."Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk"Anon."Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell."Anon."Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it."Anon."Old programmers never die. They just branch out to a new address."Anon."Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread. Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique."Anon."Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers."Anon."WARNING Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue."Anon."Winners never quit and quitters never win."Anon."There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."Anon."Good, better, best never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best."Anon."Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one (YN)"Anon."Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable."Anon."We are told never to cross a bridge until we come to it, but this world is owned by men who have 'crossed bridges' in their imagination far ahead of the crowd."Anon."The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money."Anon."The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland but that's because it's the best book on anything for layman."Anon."Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up."Anon."To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research."Anon."If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."Anon."No one is listening until you make a mistake."Anon."The world is so fast that there are days when the person who says it can't be done is interrupted by the person who is doing it."Anon."Hanlon's RazorNever attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."Anon."Great minds think alike."Anon."Real programmers don't write in PLI. PLI is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN."Anon."Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice."Anon."Smash forehead on keyboard to continue."Anon."When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy."Anon."The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going."Anon."Ooops. My brain just hit a bad sector."Anon."What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator."Anon."If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."Anon."Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable."Anon."An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing."Anon."Old hackers never die. They just go to bitnet."Anon."Silence is one great art of conversation."Anon."A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it."Anon."Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view."Anon."Want to make your computer go really fast Throw it out a window."Anon."A poet is someone who is astonished by everything."Anon."Reality can be beaten with enough imagination."Anon."To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles."Anon."Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg."Anon."Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue..."Anon."Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE"Anon."The Internet is like a vault with a screen door on the back. I don't need jackhammers and atom bomb to get in when I can walk through the door."Anon."Pascal keeps your hand tied. C gives you enough rope to hang yourself."Anon."Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever."Anon."Crime, like disease, is not interesting it is something to be done away with by general consent, and that is all about it."Anon."Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night."Anon."Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times."Anon.People who think by the inch and talk by the yard deserve to be kicked by the foot. -Anon.Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

With no job and no friends, Derek's Monday became just another Sunday, full of cereal, tv, and tears.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I listened patiently for you to make a noise but you never did. Reluctantly I had to admit you were right, it was a bottomless pit.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Karla snuck into my bed. "Oh my God," she said, "you're wearing Spiderman pajamas" and left, returning quickly dressed as Wonder Woman.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

After you broke up with me, I got a call from imaginary you. She's not afraid of commitment or my family. We're getting married in the fall.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"God, help me," Doug cried. The sky opened up, God reached down and plucked him up. Part of the new personalized customer service plan.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Keith realized he couldn't feel his heart beat. Concerned, he went to have it checked. The doctor cleared his memory bank and rebooted.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

“Do you love me Phillip?” asked Pricilla. “That’s a silly question” he replied, still looking at his paper. “I thought so” she said.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Noticed her legs first. Strong and lean. Long scar on the back of one. I took my time approaching. Kissed her on the nose. Great horse.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I switched on my anti-gravity boots in an effort to escape your overbearing ways, but you fired a harpoon of guilt that prevented my ascent.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

He loved her through her multitude of boyfriends, hoping she'd come to her senses and love him. Finally, he settled for her sister.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"Where's my story?" "it's raining, I can't write." "Why?" "Rain makes puddles, puddles need to be splashed, besides my paper is wet."

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Monday jumped from the bushes and hit me hard on the chin. Standing over me, Monday shouted "Where's your weekend now, party guy?"

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The coffee called to Alex from the kitchen. He obeyed, drinking his 5th cup. It was in control of the body now. There was no more Alex.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I opened the largest box first and found a coffin with my name on it. My children had learned to give practical gifts that people could use

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I snuggled up against sweet you, not wanting to say goodbye. The moment broken by the reverend's voice asking me climb out of your coffin.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The surgery was a success. I no longer felt anything for you, but without emotions, I was soulless, just going through the motions of life.

Very Short Story@VeryShortStory

It was over. I'd felt powerful, sexy and loved. Now, an empty plate sat where the chocolate cake had been. The loneliness crept back in.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The machine made life simple. It made my decisions for me. What to eat, when to sleep, what to do. On your planet you call them parents.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I pushed my wheelbarrow of puppies down the street, selling them as I went. Each night, I stole them back, then sold them on the next block.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The dissection didn't go as planned. Mary displayed the symptoms, but we could find no physical evidence of the Devil inside her.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Marge lost her will to fight. She let the massive pile of laundry swallow her, wondering if her 5 children would notice she was gone.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Dear Chocolate Cake, Last night was special. I've never been kissed like that. You're the one. Hope you feel the same. Check yes or no

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I climbed from raindrop to raindrop, then entered the Cloud King's castle. "Enough," I said, ready to fight for control of the weather.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I enjoyed my morning coffee on the veranda, listening to the symphony of metal below, as I admired the shiny stop signs I'd acquired.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Upset by the bad grade, Martin threw the homework across the classroom. He was put in timeout by Ms. Stein, his son's teacher.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

After being fired, Mark really needed a cuddle. That's what his germophobic Mom had called them. Everyone else called them cupcakes.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I won the election by promising two Saturdays every week, but my victory was short lived when they noticed I got rid of Sunday along the way

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Duane drenched himself with cologne before his date with Sara, trying to cover the fact he'd become one of the undead over the weekend.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

My father came to live with me. It was my turn to say "my house, my rules". I took away his glass and made him drink from the milk carton.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The therapy seemed to be working until I realized I was the patient, not the doctor. It got worse when I figured out I was just the chair.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

To cushion the blow, I gave out a cookie when I fired someone. It made them smile...until they realized it was stale...just like them.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The dose of self awareness was too much. My true image in the mirror, shattered the one in my head. Forevermore, I would know I was old.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I shoved another cookie in your petite mouth as you struggled against the handcuffs. This time, I wouldn't be the fat bridesmaid.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

It was the perfect first date. Dinner then kisses as I held you close, absorbing the life force from your body, watching you turn to dust.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I poured the words out onto the table then used my hand to brush away the excess, leaving behind only those needed to invoke the story.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

On your birthday, I took you out to celebrate. We reminisced about our years together, then returned you to your crypt till next year.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"Like a Sprite?” she said knowing it was my favorite. “Yes”. She put it on the bed just out of reach. I strained against the handcuffs.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I turned on the light to help you find your way, wanting you to feel safe on your journey. So many find it unsettling here in the afterlife.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"We're out of Perfect Life. We have some Simple Life left." "Hmm, I'll take the Work Constantly, Make Money, Die Alone. I had it last time."

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

As the cold rolled in, I bought some tape, using it to assemble my maxed out credit cards into a shelter for the financial winter.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I slipped into your bed and cuddled you. I felt safe. I'd leave before morning, beg coins all day, then follow someone else home tomorrow.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Leaping from the cliff, my life flashed before my eyes, including previews from the upcoming episodes I would miss out on.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Each time Mark made advances towards Marie, she'd immediately pretend she was asleep. This made for awkward office lunches.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

One time, long ago, when you weren't looking, I swapped souls with you. Now yours is dirtier than mine. I want to swap back. Hold still.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I put myself by the curb and waited for the trash truck to collect me. Hoping to find you, didn't mean to call you trashy.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"I don't believe in astronomy" "You mean astrology" said Kim "No, I don't believe in stars or planets. It's a folktale, meant to give hope."

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I resent Anger Management class. I don't have a problem. I wasn't angry when I pushed you out in front of the bus. I just don't like you.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Carl was good at small things like buttering toast or stacking neatly. It was big things like talking to people that gave him trouble.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

By now you've realized your brakes don't work. I'm sorry. I'm not very good at goodbyes and thought this would be easier for both of us.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Cindy shook her money maker, late at night, for tips. She dreamed of being a dentist, fixing the broken smiles that gawked at her.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The scar was part of Don's charm. Women asked about it and he would tell the elaborate tale, although the truth was he fell in the shower.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Craig reached for his pen but it wasn't there. He ran home holding his head, trying to keep the idea from seeping out.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"You have such an intriguing mind and such interesting thoughts. I wonder where they come from" she said, holding my brain up to the light.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The celebrated Earth Day each year, remembering the planet their parents spoke of, from a time before the evacuations to space.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I took home each stray dog I found. We bonded and became a family. Fifty dogs later, the emptiness subsided and I forgot all about Sheila.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

“Hi, I’m Rick. I’m a writer.” “Hi Rick,” everyone said. “It’s been 3 days since I’ve written.” Everyone clapped to celebrate my sobriety.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I watched Monday crying in the corner, no longer the bully it once was, having lost its power over me now that I'd started working on Sunday

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Outside the window, Mark stood in the moonlight, serenading Vicky. Her heart remained closed, unmoved by the sounds of his tuba.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

You asked for flowers and I brought flowers. You asked for dancing and I danced. I asked for your love and you gave back the flowers.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Monday crept over Jack, killing his mood. The weekend had been great. He'd partied like there was no tomorrow, but unfortunately, there was.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

4am. You are asleep. I am awake. I am eating your Easter candy. In the morning, I will pretend we have been robbed.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"Do you ever wish you had married someone else?" asked Gina. Albert's brain went into overdrive seeking the correct answer. "No?"

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

After our date, we went home and found your place had been robbed. It made me feel bad about all the times I thought about robbing you.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Years later, sitting alone in his mansion, with no one to hold him, it finally hit him. "This is what she meant."

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Rhonda opened her mouth and sprayed me with guilt about never calling. The guilt stuck to me and once again I was caught in my mother's web.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Clowning was Daryl's profession, cooking was his passion. Stella thought he was perfect. She liked to laugh and never learned to cook.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Standing in front of you, I protected you from the gunman, but as the bullet approached, I saw it had your name on it, and stepped aside.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The tears fell from my eyes and burned through the ropes that bound me. I learned crying was my superpower, it could free me when needed.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Kim refused to walk down the runway in the swimsuit. I yelled through the megaphone, "You are not fat!" to overcome the voices in her head.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

It never really seemed right killing perfect strangers, but having come from a small family, I'd run out of options.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Sometimes when I can not write, I wait for the happy thoughts to pass. When the darkness returns the words flow again and make their mark.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Do not worry my love. I shall come for you tonight. We shall steal away where we can be together forever. Lovingly yours, Death.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Troy sat down and faced the four dozen donuts. He wrote one of his problems on each donut, then ate them, making his problems disappear.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Derek was trapped at the very edge of the cliff. The Russians drew their knives. He hesitated then leapt off, betting on reincarnation.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Batman and Robin burst in seconds after Joker left. Batman grabbed Robin's BatTweet and smashed it. "Stop tweeting eveything were doing!"

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Terry tweeted and waited for the untold millions to roll in. Across the globe, in Belfast, his lone follower, Peg, unfollowed him.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I bought a jaguar today. Not a car, an ACTUAL jaguar. I figure it will impress women more than a car. I got a two seat saddle for it.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Today is special. Getting out of jail. I will not go see Donna. I will not see what shoes she's wearing. Too much trouble to dig her up

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

”I’m glad your sleeping over,“ said Kent. ”I feel safe with you,“ said Lori. He turned on his Batman night light. Now they both felt safe.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Life felt like an uncomfortable sticky mess. Unsure how to change it, I eased into a bathtub full of syrup to grow accustomed to living.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I used the flamethrower to ignite my house and possessions. I watched the each memory burn, making sure you got nothing from our divorce.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

It’s not easy being Fate. I'm overworked. So many things to decide for people. Sometimes I take a break and just let things happen randomly.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Monday waited for me to step off the train, striking my face with a late report. I held up my winning lottery ticket and Monday faded away.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

On my 16th birthday, I watched my father die. Now, I would be king, ascending like he had, by use of a knife. Like father, like son.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Shopping List: 2 sheep 1 goat 4 cows Large net Animal launcher Video camera Book: How to post viral video

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I saw colored lights coming from under my son’s door and peaked in just as he transported to another place. I always knew he wasn’t mine.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

School was a prison for me. I was trapped with teachers who didn't like me. Freedom finally came when I was fired from my job as principal.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Mark chose a fish as hist pet. A single lonely goldfish, isolated from the rest of the world, just like him.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

To show dedication, I tattooed the company’s name on my cheek before my review, but was fired for misspelling it. Finding a new job was hard

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I wrote the words as fast as I could to remove them from my head, but more words seeped in, filling me beyond capacity when I ran out of ink

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I saved my cupcake, putting it with the other treats I would never eat. My parents had infused me with permanently delayed gratification.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I grabbed as much of the new year as I could and stuffed it into my desk. Time would be short come December and I'd need all I could get.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Santa slipped into his depression that started this time of year. I’d spend 11 months keeping him alive till he brightened next December.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The cat dug its claws into my face. I screamed and Liz pulled it off me. Next time, I'd be more careful about saying “I’m a dog person”.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"Bring out your dead," they yelled. We dragged the carcass outside and watched them burn it with the other Christmas trees. Time to move on.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Hearing your Christmas wish, I pulled my ashes together and took my previous form. We celebrated together, then I took you back with me.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I used all my savings to erect a giant billboard saying I was the one for you. I hoped it would work. My billboard was bigger than Phil’s.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I wrote words on scraps of paper to remove them from my head. The scraps became a book others read. Soon men in white coats were at my door.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Inside the trunk, I made myself as comfortable as possible. I had limited funds, but was determined to arrive home in time for the holidays.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

My bank slowly increased their fees day by day, siphoning off all my money. I didn’t notice until bank employees started living in my house.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

After months of looking, the only job I found was working as a mannequin. It paid very little, but was better than standing around for free.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The bull charged down the hallway. I ran. Phil stood his ground and got trampled. Our boss applauded, but still wasn't sure who to promote.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

The clown reached out to me. I took his hand and stepped out of the crowd. It felt right. I became one of them, finally feeling normal.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Bill waited on the school steps for his mom to pick him up. She never came, wanting him to be more independent now that he was a teacher.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I opened the window and looked at the moon. Your body was still there. The cameras had seen me do it, but no one had jurisdiction to try me.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I watched in the mirror as I put on a suit for work. Where was the kid who painted and collected bugs? The pull of the Dark Side was strong.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

After two days of riots, Steve rose from the ashes and returned to work. He waved his hand, the 4S was renamed 5 and the masses rejoiced.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"Throw down your gun!" they yelled. I fired at the bulldozer through the open window, defending the library against the onslaught of Kindles

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I opened the furnace door and tossed in my sons's stuffed animals, starting him on his journey of becoming a man. Happy 10th birthday, Davy.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Just once, I wish things made sense. I brought Kim flowers, but she told me to never come back. I climbed back out her window into the dark.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I pushed the wrong button and transmitted half a thought into the world. Villagers mobbed me seeking meaning but I let them find their own.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I sat in the shower eating my sandwich, letting the water heal my thoughts. Tomorrow I'd find work to pay for the sandwich I'd stolen today.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I found a map with "Don't tell your sister" written on it. It led to a secret room where my parents and I hid during my sis's teenage years.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

"Morning!" I said "Don't do that," said Monday "What?" "Don't be perky. It takes the fun out of it" I smiled having found Monday's weakness

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

With a shortage of human teachers, robots were brought in to teach. It went well, until the kids built their own robots and the battle began

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Dad and I moved into the treehouse, leaving Mom and my sis in the house. "The women were holding us back" he said but I missed Mom's cooking

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I tied the end of a rope to a kitten then tossed him in my closet. The meowing stopped. I pulled back a frayed rope. Yep, something in there

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I woke to a pack of wolves in the kitchen, howling at the fridge. I fed them frozen waffles and one by one they turned back into my children

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

My parents found me working the keyboard with my nose. Mom cried. Dad unchained my hands, realizing there was no cure for being a writer.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I looked over the scouting report on my opponent then strapped on my body armor and stepped into the arena of couples therapy.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

Thoughts of you inheriting my fortune got me from my death bed. Money made life easy. I never discovered who I was. I'd save you from that.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

It happened again. Now, I know it’s me. My brother cut in line. I had a vicious thought. Suddenly he kind of sizzled and fell over.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I finished your programing and flipped the switch. When you awoke, we went to fly kites. You were the loving parent I always wanted.

Very Short Story @VeryShortStory

I chose an alternate path. I avoided, love, work, wealth, fame. I sought knowledge, living among library books, devouring them, one by one.

favs-

colors - blue, purple, green

food - cinnamon/sugar pretzels, chocolate covered strawberries, plums, cheese danish

anime's - Ouran High School Host Club,