16 Things to do in Walmart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...

Or are planning to do any of these things

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

The Harry Potter Pledge

I promise to remember Harry
When I need to be courageous.

I promise to remember Ron
When I feel overshadowed.

I promise to remember Hermione
When I am picked on for being smart.

I promise to remember James and Lily
When someone dies before their time.

I promise to remember Dumbledore
At the thought of greater good.

I promise to remember "I solemley swear that I am up to no good"
For the Marauders, of course.

I promise to remember Gred and Forge
When I need a laugh.

I promise to remember Moony
And fight for human rights.

I promise to remember Snape
When asked the true meaning of love.

I promise to remember Narcissa
When I’d do anything for family.

I promise to remember Tonks
When I feel hyper and cheery.

I promise to remember Hedwig
Who lived and died soaring.

I promise to remember Percy
When ambition gets the best of me.

I promise to practice constant vigilance
For Moody’s sake, of course.

I promise to remember Hagrid
When someone sees beauty in what others see as ugly.

I promise to remember Neville
When I stand up for what is right.

I promise to remember the Golden Trio as a whole
When a friend says, "Call and I’ll be there."

I promise to remember Ginny
When I must face my fears.

I promise to remember Dobby
When asked the price of freedom.

I promise to remember Luna
When I dare to be kooky.

I promise to remember Seamus
When things go wrong but I still persevere.

I promise to remember Draco
When I make a bad choice and pay for it later.

I promise to remember Oliver
When I soar to great heights.

I promise to remember the Dursley’s
When my parents still keep denying that they hid my Hogwarts acceptance letter.

I promise to remember Gilderoy Lockheart
Whenever I chance upon narcissistic people.

I promise to remember J.K. Rowling
When I value the power of imagination.

Yes I promise that I will
Remember Harry Potter

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape…

…A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

…without all the red and gold crap…

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end…

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

…he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

…than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin…

…the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….an incredible husband and brave hero…

…as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

…Amazing mother…

…and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora…

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

…and scared the crap out of some kids too…

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort…

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

…despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing…

…In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! (No, she didn't!)

…She deserved everything she got and more…

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry's actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring.

…In Remembrance of Sirius Black…

...Who was a loyal friend...

...Awesome godfather...

...And has the best motorcycle in the world...

...In Remembrance of James Potter...

...Brilliant Leader...

...Great Father...

...Gave his wife more time to flee...

...Best Stag in the world...

...In Remembrance of Lily Evans...

...Greatest Mother ever...

...Awesome at charms...

...Greatest love ever...

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Anti-racism joke

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism!

And yet more random stuff!

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you have read all seven Harry Potter books, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of the few people who actually reads profiles, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever snuck on fanfiction when you were supposed to be doing something else, say, your homework, copy and paste into your profile

If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this on your account

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Justin Bieber is a girl, copy and paste this into your profile.

98% of teens would suffocate if Justin Bieber said it wasn't cool to breath anymore...copy & paste this on your profile if you're part of the 2% that would be laughing their asses off.

If you have completely read a Harry Potter book in less than two weeks (less than 24 hrs), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to see a Quidditch match, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you absolutely loved Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are wondering why Lupin and Tonks seem to be together at the start of half blood prince movie AND why tonks' hair is brown, copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you think Harry Potter is still better than Twilight, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you believe in werewolf rights copy and paste this onto your profile.

1 Scary Way to Break Up

One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important.

Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and yelled, “I am breaking up with you, you awful …….!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your ………….. life! DUMB ………………..!!!”

He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, and slit her wrists and died in the bathtub.

Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is in prison, accused of murder.

Later that week, Sarah’s exboyfriend was taking a shower when she came from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said “Goodbye Jason.” She cut his throat before he could scream.

If you do not repost this with the title “1 scary way to break up”, you are a heartless …………..and Sarah come to you in the shower from the drain, and will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend. 24 ppl have broken this chain and died

You have 13 minutes

6 TRUTHS OF LIFE

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time.
2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.
3. And discover #1 is a lie.
4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.
I apologize about this but I’m an idiot and I needed company.
You now have two options...delete this or send it along to put a smile on some other idiot’s face today.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

-- Girlbender875, Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay, CommChatter, FredNeverDied, WhyAreWesaleysGingers

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile.

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm sradishing to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I sradish to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Mommy, I love you --tear jerker copy and paste thingy

Try not to cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Try Not to Cry

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you

If you cried while you read this, copy this to your profile, and add your name to the list; Mysterious Miracle,Ghostkit,Goldenfeather, KeybladeAngel34, Hermione494, Lobo Argost

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

I AM THE GIRLI am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook because i just don't see the appeal. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one else seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her (yet it would be nice) and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, Pixel Alice, ME LOVEY JAZZY, Gandalf the Grey-Edelwiess, DoYouReallySeeMe, Potter's Angels, CelticHeiressFiona, The Love Dragon, I-am-a-slash-addict, One-Who-Loves-Sesshy, sakurademonalchemist, chocolatemilkandlollypops, The Eclectic Bookworm, chocolatecheesecakes Justified Singer Prince Fan, TheSoulessGinger.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.You love jeans.Dogs are better than cats.It's hilarious when people get hurt.You've played with/against boys on a team.Shopping is torture.Sad movies suck.You own/ed an X-Box.Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.You watch sports on TV.Gory movies are cool.You go to your dad for advice.You own like a trillion baseball caps.You like going to high school football games. You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.Baggy pants are cool to wear.It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.You love to go crazy and not care what people think.Sports are fun.Talk with food in your mouth.Sleep with your socks on at night.

TOTAL: 9

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick. You love to shop.You wear eyeliner. You wear the color pink.Go to your mom for advice.You consider cheerleading a sport.You hate wearing the color black.You like hanging out at the mall.You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.You like wearing jewelry.Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.You don't like the movie Star Wars.You were in gymnastics/dance. It takes you around/ more than one hour to shower, get dressed, and do make-up.You smile a lot more than you should.You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.You care about what you look like.You like wearing dresses when you can.You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.You love the movies.Used to play with dolls as little kid.Like putting make-up on someone else for thejoke of it.Like being the star of every thing.

Total: 5

Well then!

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious

YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works: 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For every question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Happy Ending by Mika (well isn't that ironic)

Waking Up: Rumor in St Petersburg by Disney (now don't judge)

First Day At School: I wanna dance with somebody by Whitney Housten.

Falling In Love: Ten Days by Missy Higgins (appropriate much :))

Fight Song: Once Upon a December by Disney (again... Don't judge)

Breaking Up: Say Something by a Great Big World

Prom night: They're taking the Hobbits to Isenguard by Erwin Beekveld (well that's certainly random...)

Life: The Hanging Tree by James Newton Howard

Mental Breakdown: Mean by Pink

Driving: Beneath you're beautiful by Labyrinth (dont really see the correlation...)

Flashback: Where is Your Heart by Kelly Clarkson

Getting back together: I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston.

Wedding: Take a Bow (so I hate my husband?)

Birth of Child: Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis.

Final Battle: Fall by Ed Sheeran

Funeral Song: Beauty and the Beast by Disney

Final Credits: a Thousand Years by Christina Perri

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

10. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

11. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

12. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

13. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

14. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

15. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

16. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

17. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

18. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

19. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

20. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

21. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

22. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

25. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

26. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

27. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

28. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

29. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

30. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.

31. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

32. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

33. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

34. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

35. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

36. Dress like the professor.

Went to a Party Mom,

I went to a party, And remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would, that I didn't drink and drive, though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice, And your advice to me was right. The party finally ended, and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car, Sure to get home in one piece. I never knew what was coming, Mom, something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, the kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high. Because he chose to drink and drive, now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Knowing that it ruins lives? And now the pain is cutting me, like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Tell daddy to be brave. And when I go to heaven, put ' Daddy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him, That it's wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his parents had, I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom I'm getting really scared These are my final moments, and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom, As I lie here and die. I wish that I could say, I love you and goodbye.

If your against Drinking and Driving, Copy and Paste this to your Profile

Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

BUT ITS SO AWESOME!!!! :D