Hello! Welcome to the FMA-Critique fanfiction.net page!

Our goal here on FF.net is to give the authors of Fullmetal Alchemist fanfictions a helping hand! We want to pick out the flaws in your fanfictions and help you to fix them. We might not always sound nice in our reviews, and you might even feel offended, but that is only because we are speaking the truth and think it would be the best way to help you out.

A little bit about us!

There are two of us! We would prefer to keep our actual fanfiction.net usernames a secret. We hope you can respect that. Now I'm sure that some of you will look at our reviews and say "They don't know what they're talking about! My fic is fine!!" But just know that we are both students attending Universities. We aren't some middle schooler who just wants to flame your fanfiction. So, if we can get into a University, then we must have some kind of a brain. Also, we have been analyzing Fullmetal Alchemist to no ends. We know these characters like the backs of our hands. We've been members of the fanfiction.net community for the past seven years. We've seen both good and bad fanfictions, and we want to help make those bad ones go away! So don't say we don't know anything. Because trust us. We do.

But at the same time, we're not claiming to be perfect. Like everyone else, we make mistakes. We make typos and get our facts wrong too at times. Sometimes you may disagree with things we say, and sometimes we may be wrong, but us trying to be "right" is not our purpose. We don't want to offend. We want to help. So we'll give our input, and some of it may be right, and some even wrong. You may agree with some things we say, and disagree with others. But remember no matter what it's your choice whether or not to listen to our advice. But just know that it's only that: advice. You don't have to take it, but at least consider that we put in our own time to give our honest opinion, so at least appreciate that enough to actually consider it, even if you don't agree with it.

Here's how we score fanfictions!

Categories

Beginning/Ending

Explanation/Definition

How you open and end a story is a key component to the overall effect of your fanfiction. Beginnings are what draw readers in, set the tone of the story, and ultimately will factor in why a reader continues to read your story. So, how you start your story is important. The ending is equally important. Readers will judge a fic based on how the story ends. A good ending will wrap up a good story; a bad ending can ruin even the best of stories. An ending will set the last mood of the fic, and should be concrete. You shouldn't leave readers feeling empty; like the ending left the story incomplete. Make sure you don't leave any loose ties unless you're purposely making an open-ended fic.

How it will be graded

Either out of 10 or out of 5 points depending on if your story is finished or not.

The way we will be grading your beginning will mostly be based on how much it sucks us into the story. If the beginning captures us and sets a good tone to the story, then you will get a good score. However, if it starts out boring and slow, you will most likely get a lower score. Do not drag your beginning out past a few paragraphs. If we feel as though your beginning drags, then you will get a low score.

The conclusion is going to be scored a little bit differently. If your story is not yet completed, then the conclusion part of the review will not apply and you will not gain or lose points on it. If the fic is not finished, then you will be scored out of five rather than ten. We will grade your conclusion based on how neatly it wraps up a story up. A clean cut ending will score higher than a rushed open-ended ending.

Genre

Explanation/Definition

Staying true to your genre is important because people are reading your fic partly based on what genre it is. If you categorize your story as romantic, readers will click on your fic because they want to read romance. If you come short on what genre you're writing in, readers will be dissatisfied as they're reading your story. If you say your story is a certain genre, make sure you don't come short on it. It will only make readers leave your story to find a story that does include the genre they're looking to read.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

Did you stay true to what genre you said you were going to be writing about? If you didn't, then once again, you will most likely get a lower score. For example, if you are writing a humor fic, and it fails to be funny, then you will get a low score. Also, if your fic is multiple genres, then we will expect to see all those genres in the story. If not all of the genres show, then your score will be lowered.

Factual Knowledge

Explanation/Definition

Common sense and the laws of the world are something every writer should consider when writing their story. When you have a character do an action, stop and think about what they're doing. If you're going to have a character jump off a roof, chances are, they're going to get hurt in one way or the other. Also, consider that FMA is a world of alchemy. For example, don't have characters (especially your OCs) use alchemy unless you know exactly how it works. Alchemy is science, not magic. It has rules that you need to follow. Common sense seems like a no brainier, but in actuality it's commonly looked over by writers as they write their fics. People like a sense of realism in what they read. If someone jumps off a high roof and is perfectly fine, then the story will seem less believable and turn readers off from it. Just think twice about what you're writing about.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

Did you get all of your facts right? If not, your score will be lowered. Make sure that you know all of the facts to everything you're writing about. If someone makes their character a "shadow alchemist" who can transmute shadows, then that would be an incorrect fact that would lower your score. Shadows are not matter, and there for, cannot be transmuted. If you do not know the basic laws of alchemy and you make your character a type of alchemist that doesn't make sense, then this would be a factual error that will lower your score. The same could be said for anything else. If a character has the chicken pox, but the symptoms are not correct, then this will be another type of factual error that will lower your score. The same could be said for injuries, laws, concepts, etc.

Helpful Link

A helpful and easy website to use for facts is always . However, because this is an online encyclopedia, it is not always correct. So after checking your facts there, make sure you double check on another website to make sure that they are correct. Google it!

Originality

Explanation/Definition

Originality is something anybody appreciates when reading a story. Anyone can write about a cliche forbidden romance. Readers like to read about things they've never read before; it gets boring to read the same thing over and over again. Try and think outside the box when thinking of your story; make your plot more interesting by throwing unexpected twists in it. Try and think of situations people don't normally write about. Write about something you've never seen anyone write about before. People will appreciate your story a lot more.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

How original is your plot? Is it a plot that's seen over and over again? (i.e. the bad guy takes the hero's girl, creating a "damsel in distress" scenario, where in the end the hero kills the bad guy, saves the girl and lives happily ever after.) If it's a plot that's always being seen all over the place, then your score will be lowered because it is not an original concept. However, if you add things to make it more original (i.e. the damsel in distress is actually a space alien from Mars who eats the hero in the end.) then your score will not be lowered. Make your story a fresh, new concept and you'll get a good score.

Plot

Explanation/Definition

The overall plot of the story is key -- it's why the reader is reading your story in the first place! Readers will click on a fanfiction if the plot sounds interesting (which is why summery's are also important. A bad summery -- or no summery at all -- will get no second glance from a reader). Your plot should be something that flows. It should be natural and something that sounds like it could actually happen. Unless your fic is humor, nobody likes reading about a plot that defies how the world works and all that. Spend time thinking your whole fic through; people can tell when you make sudden overall plot changes as you're writing the story. Readers want to read a story where it looks like the author knows exactly how everything is planned out.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

Is your plot something totally boring or is it something that will keep us on the edge of our seats? Let's hope for the second one. If your plot is something boring that nobody, including these critics, wants to read, then it's not a good story, thus resulting in a lowered score. If you want a good score then make your plot something exciting that will keep the reader interested for every chapter.

OCs

Explanation/Definition

OCs can be pretty common in fanfiction, so it's easy for your OC to lack originality with so many running around. Your OC could very well be a "Mary Su" without you even realizing it. One thing you should never do is pair your OC with a character that has an official love interest and no explanation of what happened to the real love interest. There are too many OCs paired with Roy where they become his new assistant with no explanation of what happened to Riza. Consider what you do with your OC; readers don't like reading about OCs that barge into the plot and all of the sudden have important relationships with main characters and important parts in the overall plot of the manga/anime. It's easy to make your OC like every other OC on the internet, so develop and place your OC in your story very carefully.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

Oh dear, now this is always a fun one to grade. If you want a good score, then your OC has to be really well thought out and original. An OC that wouldn't be well though out would be little miss *insert my first and last name here* who wears a red tang top and blue jeans and white sneakers. OH! And she's the shadow alchemist! She transmutes shadows! She's in the military, is a State Alchemist, works under Roy, is Ed's love interest, has dead parents, tried to bring them back with human transmutation, failed and has an automail arm... That sentence was also very grammatically incorrect. But we'll get to grammar later. The OC I just described is what one might call a "Mary Sue". Please, do not make anymore Mary Sues. They are unneeded and unwanted in this world. If we see a Mary Sue in your fic, you will automatically get a low score. Mary Sues are OCs who are not well thought out, and are more of a bother if anything. A lot of Mary Sues have similar traits. (For example, some things that define a Mary Sue in FMA is if they are a State Alchemist, a love interest for either Ed or Roy, have attempted human transmutation, or have automail.) Make sure that your OC has been well planned out and is an original, likable character who helps move the story along. If that is the case then you will get a higher score. Also, if you make your OC a love interest for either Ed or Roy then you have to explain what happened to Winry and Riza, their originally intended love interests. Let's not forget that at the end of the manga/Brotherhood, *SPOILER ALERT SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE* Ed is happily married to Winry with two children. If you can explain that well enough then you will get a higher score. If they are just randomly nonexistent then you will get a lower score.

Helpful Links

Go here to test and see if your OC is a Sue:

You can also go here and take the FMA Mary Sue Test:

The FMA Mary Sue test if very similar to the Universal Mary Sue Test. However, it adds in some questions related to the world of FMA. (i.e. Does your character have automail?)

Grammar

Explanation/Definition

One word: Proofread! You should never submit a story without giving it so much as a second glance. Even if you are a good writer, small mistakes such as typos are always bound to occur and should be looked out for. Aside from typos, punctuation is also key. For example, commas are your friends as a writer. There are too many fics where people overuse commas, or don't use them at all. Learn how to properly structure your sentences so readers can feel like the author is educated. Even if the story's good, bad writing can turn off a lot of readers. So just make sure your spelling and grammar is to the best of your ability.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

Learn to use grammar. Don't have typos. The more typos and grammatical errors you have, the lower you score. If there are no errors, you automatically get the ten points. That is all.

Helpful Link

This website gives a good overview on how to use grammar properly. Many of you should scroll down to the grammar section and read what it has to say:

Characters

Explanation/Definition

As a writer of fanfiction, you'll be writing about characters that are not your own. Because of this, it's important that you keep those characters true to how they are in the manga/anime; in other words, keep them in character. It's very common for characters to be OOC in fanfiction, and nobody wants to read about their favorite characters acting in ways those characters would just never act in. Study the characters you're writing about. When you have them say or do something, think twice about it and make sure it's actually something that that character could possibly say or do. Readers appreciate writers who can keep characters in character, so just keep that in mind as you write your story.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

Are the characters you're writing about in character? I hope so. Because if Ed is a soft, bunny loving pansy then you're automatically getting a zero. Please be considerate of how the author made these characters. She put ten years into making them, so do not change who they are to satisfy the needs of your fanfiction. Like I said above, Ed is an angry little brat who kicks butt, not a soft wuss who cries when Roy calls him "stupid." Ed would probably yell at him and insult him back. If the characters are OOC then your score is going to be lowered. The more in character you make them, the higher your score.

Helpful Link

This website will provide you with a few quick tips on how to keep the characters you're writing about in character:

Consistency

Explanation/Definition

Consistency is what makes your story flow naturally. If a story is constantly jumping around or not following any real plot line, readers might get confused or just plain annoyed with how the story is written, even if the plot itself is overall good. How you execute writing your story is what makes your story more appealing and pleasant to read. It doesn't make much sense if in one scene it's summer and then in the next scene it's winter without any mention of a time skip. Which leads to another important note: if you're going to change scenes, make sure there are some sort of dividers to clarify for the reader when scene changes take place. Even if it's obvious to you, it may not be for the reader, so be considerate of that.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

Can the reader always follow what's going on? If so, then congrats, you get a good score. If not, then boo you. If you can make the plot something that's consistent and easy to follow, then you'll get a good score. If you make the plot something jumpy and if there are always things changing within it (i.e. in one paragraph you say "Susie has black hair" and then in the next one you say "Susie has white hair") then you get a low score. If you make the story and everything in it easy to follow and it stays consistent throughout the story, then you'll get a good score.

Keeping True to the Manga/Anime

Explanation/Definition

Because you're writing fanfiction, it's also important to follow the rules and plot of the fandom you're writing for, and that's FMA in this case. Don't change the already existing plot unless you're making "alternative" scenes or endings, in which you should clarify that in your summary if you are. Readers just don't like to read a story where their favorite scenes are being tampered with. Also, because this is the world of FMA, there are two points to keep in mind: the time period and the setting. This is the early 1900's; things like computers didn't exist. And remember that FMA has London/Berlin based setting. This means no Japanese things! Make sure what you're doing fits in with the world of FMA and the plot of the manga/anime.

How it will be graded

Out of 10 points.

Does your story and the characters in your story stay true to that of the manga/anime? If it does, then you're all set and will automatically get a 10. If not, then you'll get a low score. An example of this would be if *SPOILER ALERT SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE* Hughes was alive during the time of the Promised Day. We all know that he gets killed. Once you're dead you stay that way. If he is alive when he shouldn't be, then this would not be staying true to the plot. However, we will not cut down your score if you say that it is an "alternative" for a scene, or a "what if" scenario for a scene. If you don't do this, then your readers will be very confused and your score will be lowered. Another thing that will lower your score is adding in Japanese suffixes or titles to a character's name. As it was said earlier, FMA takes place in an early 1900's London/Berlin setting. If I'm not mistaken, the British and Germans don't address each other in Japanese. This includes things like "kun, san, chan, nii-san, onee-chan and taisa." It is not fitting for the setting to use these. Let's remember that they are not Asian based characters. So if you are going to use formalities you have to use things like "Mr., Mrs., Ms., brother, sister and colonel." You are not Japanese (as much as you want to be) and they are not Japanese. Don't use these terms. The same goes for "Edo" and "Aru". These are not their names, they are not even Japanese names, these are just simply how the Japanese say their names because of their accent. Don't use these. You'll sound stupid. Say "Ed" and "Al", and call Roy "colonel", especially if you are calling all of the other military personal things like "lieutenant and major". It seems out of place to use a Japanese term for Roy, so don't do it. If you use any of these you will automatically get a lower score. Please stay true to the setting.

Subcategory

Summary

Explanation/Definition

Your summary is very important. This will be one of the first deciding factors of a reader clicking on your story. Make sure you give a real summary of what goes on in your story; people won't want to read your story if they can't even tell what it's about. And avoid writing things like "The summary's bad but the story's good". If the writer can't even summarize their own story, then readers will be unsure about it. And remember, grammar is also key in a summary. Don't think it isn't just because it's a summary. If your summary is poorly written, readers will assume the fic is poorly written. So be considerate when you write one.

How it will be graded

Out of 5 points.

Does your summary make the reader interested? If not then you get a low score. The key to having a good summary is keeping it short, sweet and to the point with no grammatical errors. That's how you'll get a high score.

Title

Explanation/Definition

You may not think it, but titles are key factors in a reader choosing a story. People always say "don't judge a book by its cover", but lets face it: pretty much everyone does. An interesting title leads readers to think the story will be interesting. Also, again, consider grammar. Titles have their own type of way they should be written. Always capitalize the first word and important words. For example, the title, The Lamp In The Room is not the correct way to write that title. The correct way would be The Lamp in the Room. Notice the capitalization differences. If a title is not capitalized at all or spelled incorrectly, readers will assume the story will also be poorly written.

How it will be graded

Out of 3 points.

If the title represents the fic in a strong way, then you'll get a good score. Another key to having a good score on a title is making it short like The Lamp in the Room rather than The Lamp on the Table on the Right Side of the Room.

The Scale

We score most things based on a scale of one to ten. One being the lowest, ten being the highest. Here's the scale:

0: No effort.

1: Extremely bad.

2: Very bad.

3: Poor.

4: Mediocre.

5: Okay.

6: Passable.

7: Average.

8: Good.

9: Excellent.

10. Outstanding.

For the scale of one to five:

0: No effort.

1: Very Poor.

2: Mediocre.

3: Average.

4: Good.

5: Excellent.

For the scale of one to three:

0: No effort.

1: Bad.

2: Okay.

3: Good.

To figure out the final score, as well as your grade (A, B, C, D, F) we will add up all of the points that you got and then divide it by the total.

0-59: F

60-69: D-, D, D+

70-79: C-, C, C+

80-89: B-, B, B+

90-100: A-, A, A+

Dividers

Dividers are our friends! When you change scenes in your fanfiction, make sure you're using a divider. Dividers make it easier for the reader to know that you just changed a scene. FF.net provides us with really nice dividers we can use. Try not to separate your scenes with symbols like "o" or "*". It can often times be very distracting to the reader. Don't know what a divider is? Look just below this paragraph. The divider is the line symbol next to the "center paragraph" symbol in your tool bar. Please use them :)

And remember:

An idea isn't what makes a story good or not. That sounds like it doesn't make sense, but it's the truth. Any idea or concept can make a good story; it's how it's written and executed and how all of the other categories mentioned above come into play that make a story good. Just because you don't like the idea of a story doesn't mean it's a bad story. For example, if you hate Royed, it doesn't mean that every Royed story is a bad story. Don't let being biased keep you from reading a good, original well written story.

Want to read some grade "A" worthy fanfictions?

Go check out our "favorites" section. These are all fanfictions who have received either an A-, A, or A+. This is the kind of fanfiction that everyone should strive to write. Go and check out the reviews we wrote for those fics and compare them for the reviews we wrote for yours. See what you did wrong in comparison to these fics.

Want to contact us?

We would love to hear from you! If you want, you can send us a private message. Or, if you personally want us to critique your fic for you, then let us know and we'll read it and write an honest review as soon as we can!

Happy writing! :)