I AM A FANGIRL, HEAR ME ROAR!

*meow*

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION!

Some anecdotes:

-Whoever said that nothing's impossible obviously hasn't tried slamming a revolving door.

-Whoever said "Words don't hurt" obviously hasn't gotten a hard-back encyclopedia thrown at his head before.

-When the going gets tough, kick whoever made it that way.

-Behind every great man is a woman shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

-When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you leap off a cliff, I laugh harder.

-If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If you can't kill 'em, you’re screwed.

-Rhetorical questions are persuasive, aren't they?

-He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke at first.

-Life is difficult. It's full of trials, sorrow and pain. However, if you fall down, just stand up straight, be confident and say...

"WHICH IDIOT PUSHED ME?!"

-Silence is gold. Duct tape is silver. So make my day Gold and colour it in Silver.

-If you do it, you'll regret it. If you don't do it, you'll regret it. Either way, you're still gonna regret it, so why not just do it?

-A mechanic once told someone, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

-A drunken man once said this to a cop. "Here Officer, hold my beer while I find my license."

-Ignorance killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

-Best friends for life! ...or at least 'till our next fight.

-Isn't it funny how a heart shape is just two teardrops upside down?

-I'm only smiling 'cos I have no idea what's going on.

-I looked up at the stars one night and thought, "Where the heck did my ceiling go?!"

-People say life's short. I say I'm shorter.

-As an older, more mature adult, your job is to...make fun of the little kids!

-What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you realize that you're on fire? Do you remember to stop, drop and roll? Or do you just start running around in circles, screaming, "I'M ON FIRE!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!"

-I was never anyone's friend in the first place, therefore I can't be called a traitor.

-If a safety pin, duct tape or a band-aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem.

-Give me a chance to shine and I will blind the world!

-Three people can keep a secret if two are dead.

-I'm gonna live forever!...Or die trying.

-A man walked into a bar and said..."OUCH!!"

-War doesn't determine who's right, it determines who's left.

-Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

-I went to the dark side. Yeah, they lied about the cookies.

-Dear Dark Side, you may have the cookies, but we have the MILK!

-I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We're on the same side now.

-OMG! THE RAIN'S WET!

-I'm not AD--Ooh, look, a butterfly!

-ADOSH: Attention Deficit-Ohh Shiny Thing.

-I'm a dinosaur, so, like, rawr and stuff.

-God made men first, then he had a better idea!

-Nope, can't go to Hell. Satan still has that restraining order against me...

-I reject your reality and substitute my own.

-Women are angels. When someone breaks our wings, we continue flying...on broomsticks.

-I'm probably the coolest dork you'll ever meet.

-I'm cute...now give me my cookies.

-Boys in books are just...Better!

-It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

-You couldn't handle me...even in your wildest dreams.

-ADHD writer: Once upon a -- no...There was once a -- no...THE END! .

-You know you're a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades.

-I have nothing against God, it's his fan club I can't stand!

-I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

-I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face.

-I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking too good, either.

-Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

-It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

-This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

-They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!

Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is.

One day your prince will come. Then where is he? He took a wrong turn, got lost, is too stubborn to ask for directions and is currently trapped in a book.

“Good morning! Due to your arrival, I see that the assassins I hired have failed...miserably.”

I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die.

Whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless I was supposed to do it, in which case I did it brilliantly.

Sarcastic?! ME?! Never!

Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?'... then it hits me

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.

DON'T MESS WITH ME I'VE GOT A STICK!!!!