GinnyLunaBFFs
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Joined 10-18-11, id: 3351708, Profile Updated: 02-02-12
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter.

Hi! We're Alex and Kate-Lynn! We are OBSESSED with Harry Potter!

Alex- My favorite character is totally 100% Fred Weasley! I LOVE HIM SO DAMN MUCH! I also like George, because you can't really like just one of the Weasley twins, doesn't make much sense... I also love Prongs and Lily. I love reading aranged marrage fan-fics and Horror. My favorite OC pairings are Dramione and Neville and Luna. I have read the intier series 10 times and the seventh book 21. My chracter names are Jordan Lila Wikiki and Jessica Quinn Janston. I love making characters up which is why i also like Witness Protection Program storyies. I'm not very amazing at spelling but that's what spell check is there for. I solemly swear that i will only write about Harry POtter and NEVER about sparkly fairies that some people call 'vampires'. His name was Cedric before it was Edward so we win. Pottermore- PhoenixCentaur199 and I'm a Ravenclaw, add me :)


Kate-Lynn- My favortie character is...NEVILLE FREAKING LONGBOTTOM!!! I also like Luna Lovegood, so if you want to know my favourtie Hp couple it is... Neville and Luna! I also like Draco and Luna, James.S.Potter and OC (Alice Longbottom 2)! I love reading romance and aranged marrage fanfics. I am going to read all the harry potter books sometime soon but till then i have read the first book and the last book (yea i know its bad but i will read them soon!)Like alex said NO TWILIGHT WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!! Pottermore- LeviosaSparks2 and im a HUFFLEPUFF LIKE J.K.ROWLING, AND TONKS AND MY OTHER BFF!!!!!!!!! :)


random comments like this are from Alex :) Because she is very bored and i comenting on her own profile LOL :) to many smileys... must stop smileying\

And comments from Kate-lynn are like this :D

And now...

I stole this from Corinne Marie...but I used my own answers.

Name ten of your favorite Harry Potter characters in any order.

1)Fred Weasley Neville Longbottom

2)James Potter Luna Lovegood

3)George Weasley Draco Malfoy

4)Ginny Weasley Seamus Finnagan

5)Lily Evans Remus Lupin

6)Severus Snape Narssica Malfoy

7)Bellatrix Lestrange Bellartrix Lestrange (No alex i didnt mean to copy you here)

8)Dominique Weasley Severus Snape

9)Draco Malfoy Tonks (there are several reasons i didnt put her first name...)

10)Sirius Black (god this is hard) James.S.Potter

1) Have you ever read a 5/10 fic?

Yes, I have, It was really good too! maybe? idk...

2) Do you think 3 is hot? How hot?

Yea! He is sexy! (my # 3?) well if it is mine they well DUH! and the hotest out of everyone

3)What would happen if 6 got 1 pregnant?

I would be very dissapointed... i think i would be scared for life

4)Do you recall any good fics about 9?

YES! Tons! Yes! there was one of her and Lupin

5)Would 7 and 2 make a good couple?

No, Lily would murder her. Bella and Luna? hell no!

6)4/8 or 4/9

4/9 because they aren't a bad couple to begin with and well Ginny/Dominique is just disturbing Uhm... 4/9 cuz snape and Seamus is messed up

7) What would happen if 7 discovered 3 & 8 in a secret relationship?

Bella would probably murder them. uhm, im not sure...

8)Is there such a thing as a 4/10 romantic fluff story?

Yea, probably. No, or atleast i dont think so...

9)Suggest a title for a 1/5 hurt/comfort fic.

Not that it would happen but uhm "Remember His Last" uhm... "A professer to Remeber"

10)What kind of plot would you use if 4 wanted to suduce 1?

I'm sorta against incest so there wouldn't be one... Seamus and Neville? sorry but i cant picture that...

11)Do your read 7 het? How about 9 slash?

Yes, and Yes but I also read Slash for 7 and Het for 9 i cant remeber, ive read so many...

12) If you wrote a songfic about 10 which song would you choose?

Hey Stephen- Taylor Swift. I'm reading an amazing fic right now that used it for hiim so yea... Here comes goodbye- rascal flats cuz im in that kinda mood

13)If you wrote a 2/3/6 fic, what would the warning be?

James P/George W/ Severus S: Slash Luna.L/Draco.M/Narssica.M hurt and comfort?

14)What pick up line might 1 use on 7?

I don't know... I'm not really a pick up line person... it would probably be something M rated though hahaha idk, if it was 7 useing it on one i could make one

But wait! There's more!

1)Fred Weasley

2)James Potter

3)George Weasley

4)Ginny Weasley

5)Lily Evans

6)Severus Snape

7)Bellatrix Lestrange

8)Dominique Weasley

9)Draco Malfoy

10)Sirius Black

Number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night? Heyyyyyyyyy :)

Number 2 asked you to go out with him? YES (I don't care if he's a damn player or belongs with Lily)

Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering? Hi (Blush) Uhhhhh...

Number 4 announced he's going to marry 9 tomorrow? Congrats

Number 5 cooked you dinner? Thanks Lily, wanna go hit on James?

Number 6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping? SNIVILUS!!!!!

Number 7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family? Well... this is awkward

Number 8 got into the hospital somehow? What'd you do this time Domi?

Number 9 made fun of your friends? It's Draco... He has nothing better to do

Number 10 ignored you all the time? Sirius Black? Ignoring someone? what the hell did I do?????

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will number 1 do? Give them 'candy'

You're on a vacation with number 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do? Carry me away, laughing with me... I probably fell off a shark or something...

It's your birthday. What will number 3 give you? Joke stuff

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does number 4 do? Save me or something? or get Fred

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will number 5 do? Advise me not to do it.

You're about to marry number 10. What's number 6's reaction? He doesn't give a damn

You got dumped by someone. How will number 7 cheer you up? She wouldn't

You're angry about it afterwards, how does number 8 calm you down? Be my best friend

You compete in some tournament. How does number 9 support you? He wouldn't... Unless I was Slytherin

You can't stop laughing. What will number 10 do? Laugh with me and make me laugh more

Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why? BECAUSE HE'S FLIPPEN SEXY...

Number 2 tells you about his deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction? Um...alright then.

You're dating number 3 and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along? YES HE"S FRED DAMN TWIN OF COURSE THEY WOULD GET ALONG

Number 4 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean? I don't know?

Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss? No, Sev wants her though

Number 6 appears to be a player, he breaks many hearts. What do you do? Sev can't even get one girl lol

You had a haircut and number 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind? geez bella, go away

Number 8 thinks he'll never get a girlfriend. What will you tell him? Domi's a gril but uhm switching stufff aaround, Of course you'll get someone Domi


Type your name with your elbow: alexz wweasaley

Type your name with your toes: alex weasley

Type your name with your nose: alex weasley

Type your name with you hands while not looking: alex weasley

Type your name with your tongue: alex weasley

Type your name with your knee: zxl;rgtfv nfvgf xcxc fd,fcjhnu

Type your name in text form: 2539 9327539


…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor

without all the red and gold crap

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

Who fought bravely to the very end

And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half

And will loyally await his soul mate and brother

with many jokes

he's got forever to think of them, right

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

Who was more free and full of love

.than any elf, and most humans

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

the last real Marauderer

who was not just a wonderful father

a incredible husband and brave hero

as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

who died for ‘the greater good’

and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive

and scared the crap out of some kids too

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….

who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger

but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

whose past and wisdom confused us

whose seeming betrayal shocked us

but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end

despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra

She deserved everything she got and more

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

who we really didn’t know too well

but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war

so he must’ve done something good

besides stalking Harry

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

Harry actual first friend

who lived and diedSOARING

...In Remembrance of James Potter...

Who died in an act of bravery

and who is FLIPPEN SEXY...


If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-so-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered again, copy this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the hell of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when a character in a movie, TV show, or book died, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this on to profile!

If you've laughed at a memory in a quiet room, making everyone look at you as if you're crazy, copy and paste this on to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Liza Taylor, fictionlover14, Saffire55, queen92a, Kaitie Kaye, anime-lover10, HannahKayJackson, xbittersweetxmemories, spuffypotter1997, GinnyLunaBFFs

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile

If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you claim to have no life and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile

If your family has given up trying to understand your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bare bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery, etc.) then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile

If you are in LOVE with fictional characters cut and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of book characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

(¸.•´ (¸.•´~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.


Put your iPod on shuffle.

For each question, write the next song as your answer.

YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

What is your motto?

If We Were A Movie

What do your friends think of you?

Billionaire

What do you think about very often?

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

What is 2+2?

Jet Lag

What do you think of your best friend?

You belong With Me (Uhmmmm)

What do you think about the person you like?

California Gurls

What is your life story?

My Life Would Suck Without You

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Let It Be

What do you think when you see the person you like?

Hoedown Throwdown (?!?!?!?!)

What do your parents think of you?

Because Of You

What will you dance to at your wedding?

Time For Miracles

What will they play at your funeral?

A Window To The Past

What is your hobby/interest?

This Is Me

What is your biggest secret?

Alejandro

What do you think of your friends?

Telephone

What is the worst thing that could happen?

I Saw Her Standing There

How will you die?

Fireworks

What is the one thing you will regret?

Party in the U.S.A.

What makes you laugh?

Toxic

What makes you cry?

What Hurts The Most

Will you ever get married?

Africa

What scares you the most?

What The Hell

Does anyone like you?

Disturbia

If you could go back in time, what would you change?

Low

What Hurts Right Now?

Replay

What will you repost this as?

Best Day Of My Life


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

it. "These are lovely words," Grandfather says. "Fine senti-

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

Air

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

ER

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

2:25

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

2:24

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Toopy and Binoo

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

This morning, I was brining in the recycling bin

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Face Book

9. What are you wearing?

Jeans and A shirt

10. Did you dream last night?

I was little red riding hood and i had to destroy Saron for LOTR and then he turned into a basket ball hoop and we were at a pool but in minecraft world and my and kd and Emily from Pretty Little Liars and our other friend Tegan had to destroy him with the sword of Gryffindor and then her turned into and ape and chased me all over the calgary tower calling me red and trying to kill me. No Joke.

11. When did you last laugh?

At Kd's yesterday

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

mirror and photos and a broken clock

13. Seen anything weird lately?

I saw kd, does that count?

14. What do you think of this quiz?

Fun...

15. What is the last film you saw?

A Midsummer's Night Dream

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

The rights to Harry Potter.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

I like a Guy named Khaidin

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Give me my acceptance letter

19. Do you like to dance?

Meh

20. George Bush:

Dun Dun Dun Dun

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Delie

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Ray

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

IDK Maybe

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the "pearly gates"?

Yo Dog, Wassup!!!!!!! THAT. WOULD. BE. AWESOME!


Favorites (Harry Potter)

Weasley?

Fred

Character, Overall?

Fred or James

Female Character?

Ginny

Male Character?

Fred or James

Group Of Characters?

Murauders

Adult?

James

Professor? Sev

Ship?

SeLily/James or Dramione

Spell?

Expecto Patronum!

Sweet?

Sugar Quills

Place?

Hogwarts - I was genuinely devastated when I didn't get my Hogwarts letter.

Weasley Twin?

Fred

Product?

Walk on Walls Shoes Things

Shop?

Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes.

Least Favorites

Weasley?

Percy

Character, Overall?

Peter Pettigrew or Lucius Malfoy

Female?

Narcissa Malfoy or Lavender Brown

Male?

Peter Pettigrew or Lucius Malfoy

Adult?

Peter Pettigrew, Lucius or Narcissa Malfoy

Student?

Lavender

Spell?

Avada Kadavra

Book?

Half-Blood Prince

Ship?

Fred/George

Sweet?

idk

Death Eater?

Lucius

Shop?

Borgin and Burkes.

Place?

Ministry

Professor?

Umbridge

Couples? What Do You Think?

Ron/Hermione?

Nah...

Harry/Hermione?

Nope

Harry/Ginny?

Yea

Harry/Luna?

Not Really

Harry/Pansy?

GOD NO

Ron/Lavander?

noooooooooooo

Ron/Luna?

no

Ron/Pansy?

yea... good fanfic got me hooked

Ron/Fleur?

noo

Hermione/Krum?

no thank you

Hermione/Draco?

YES ABSOULTLY, THOOSE TWO ARE AMAZING TOGETHER

Hermione/FredORGeorge?

george

James/Lily?

YESSSSS PLEASSE YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

Lily/Snape?

nope

Lily/Sirius?

sometimes

Lily/Lupin?

just friends

Tonks/Lupin?

Of course

Draco/Pansy?

god no

Fred/Angelina?

Yes, but i really like Fred/Alex:)

Bill/Fleur?

Yea, they're pretty good

Harry/Cho?

nope

This Or That?

Harry or Ron?

Harry

Hermione or Ginny?

Ginny

Neville or Seamus?

Neville

Snape or Slughorn?

Snape

Fred Or George?

Fred

Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?

Harry/Ginny

Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione?

neither but if I had to, Harry/Mione

Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna?

Harry/lMione

Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna?

Ron/Mione

Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione?

Harry/Mione

Ron/Lavender or Ron/Hermione?

Ron/Mione

Butterbeer or Fire Whiskey?

Butterbeer but I wanna try Fire Whiskey

Zonko’s or Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes?

Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes.

Hog’s Head Or The Three Broomsticks?

The Three Broomsticks.

James/Lily or Snape/Lily?

James/Lily.

Hogwarts or Hogsmeade?

Hogwarts.

Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley?

Diagon Alley

Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley?

Malfoy Manor.

Beartie Bott’s or Fizzing Whizbees?

Beartie Bott's

Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet?

The Daily Prophet.

Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch?

Rita Skeeter.

Gyrffindor or Ravenclaw?

Ravenclaw!!!! Hell Yea

Have you Been to A Release Party?

Yeah

Ever cried while reading one of the books?

Fred

A Movie?

Yea

Books or Movies?

Books.

Had A Dream About Harry Potter?

Yes, but only if I don't think about it before bed...

Been To A Fansite?

Yes.

Been to JKR’s Site?

Of course.

Have You Ever Roleplayed?

Yeah.

If So/Do..Who were you/ are you?

Dominique, James ii, Scorpius, Rose, Hutch Finnigan (OC)

Did you use to have an absurd theory?

Yes

What was it?

That J.K.R was really Ron, Harry and Mione's friends and she went with them through all their adventures and such and thats how she knows so much about it. TADA

Did you/Do you hide your obbsession?

Hell no.

Ever dressed up like a Character? For Halloween or Just No Reason at all?

Hermione and Ginny and then I was a sporty/sexy Ravenclaw chick... midnnight showing

Ever noticed That You can’t “Spell Hermione without Ron”?

i have now

Did you just try to prove that wrong?

Yes lol

Notice That If Harry&Hermione Got Married They’d Have EXACT Same Intials?

i dont care

Did you just try to prove that wrong

no...

Have you noticed That Lily Evans And Ginny Weasley are alot alike?

yes

Do you find it weird that Harry & His Dad Fell In Love With Girls So ALike?

yes

Do you know what fanfiction is?

duh

Ever Been To A Fanfiction site?

duh

Do you read fanfiction?

this is a fanfiction site isn’t it

If so, do you like it?

Once again duh

Are you a member of a fanfiction site?

THIS IS MY PROFILE ISNT IT

What site?

THIS ONE

Do you write fanfiction?

Yes.

Do you like to write fanfiction?

Why else would I write it

Ever had Harry Potter Candy?

Yep bertie botts every flavour beans and chocolate frogs and sugar quills

Do you own a lot of Harry Potter Stuff?

Yeah everything I can get

Do you have Harry Potter Scene It?

yes

Do You Have A Harry Potter Shirt?

Yes!

What Character Are You Most Often Compared Too?

Ginny

Do You Agree With This?

Yea, i've ALways been Ginny

Do You Have Any Nicknames That Have To Do With Harry Potter?

Ginny or Ginny 'Prongs' Dominique Weasley

What Are They?

Look up

Do you object to being Called By them?

no

Are Your friends Supportive of your obsession?

Yes :)

Do you have any inside jokes that relate to Harry Potter?

OMG TONSSSSSS

What’s One?(You don’t have to explain)

Shut it Nev

Do you relate a lot of things to Harry Potter?

everything

Do you love being obsessed With Harry Potter?

Why would you be obsessed if you didn't want to be?

Do you wish that you went to Hogwarts?

Yes before my eleventh birthday I was waiting for my letter sigh but it never came...

Have you re-read the books?

Obviously...

Have you had A Harry Potter Themed Party?

Yes

Have You Had An RP Party?

No.

Do You Want To?

that would be...odd

Have you ever read a Harry Potter Musical?

no, i've watched one

Have You Ever Wrote One?

no

Do You Want To?

no

Have you ever entered A Contest TO Win Something Harry Potter?

yep

If You Wrote A Hogwarts Musical Would You Let People Read it

no

Are You Going To Write One?

no

IS The Musical Thing Annoying You?

Just a little bit...

Am I more annoying than Rita Skeeter?

No


List 12 people that you know (You can name yourself)

1) Kate-Lynn

2) Jennica

3) Coco

4) Khaidin

5) Charles

6) Adrianna

7) Ashley

8) Krysta

9) Alex (Me)

10) Gavin

11) Carson

12) Natalie

1. Do you think 4 is hot?

Cough* Yea...

2. Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

noooooooooo

3. 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?

Coco hits on Khaidin and Krysta doesn't know either of them

4. 9 tries to get 5 to go to yoga class. What happens?

He'd go to be with me lol

5. You need to stay at a friend's house for the night. Do you choose twelve or six?

Adrianna

6. 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in their reaction?

WTF

7. 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?

I don't think it's gunna happen

8. 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue. 10 2 or 7.

Jennica probably, and then seeing who it is, she would leave

9. 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 mintues later what is happening?

The set is in flames

10. 7 has to marry either 8 2 or 9. Who do they choose?

me only because she doesn't know the other two

11. 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2s release. What is it?

I have no clue

12. Everyone is invited to 2 and 10's wedding except for 12. How do they react?

She doesn't give a damn

13. Why is 6 afraid of 7?

CCause she is going to kill her

14. 11 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

We'd fall asleep

15. 5 and 9 are roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

i tell charles to leave. NOW! i'm sober enough for that cuz i know hes not.

16. 9 murders 2s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at 9?

Kay i guess it sorta has to e that Kate-Lynn's dead... We have a party :) lol

17. 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save themself or 1?

Adrianna saves them both!!!!

18. 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good?


Everything in Italic is what I've done.

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails 3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it 4. Had food fall out of your mouth while you were talking 5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking 6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head 7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself 8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand 9. Tried to push open a door that said pull 10. Tried to pull open a door that said push 11. Have actually believed someone when they said something completely stupid 12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else 13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs 14. Have actually exploded chicken in the microwave 15. Have had your earphones pull out your hair 16. Have pulled off a bandage slowly and steadily ... every time 17. Have knocked over a lamp and shattered it 18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard 19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name 20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing with flip flops on or you were barefoot 21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on 22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle. 23. Have run into a closed door 24. Have gotten onto a water ride wearing sneakers and gotten them soaked 25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it 26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke 27. Have gone to a store and offered them a gift card for their business opponent 28. Have stuck your hand stuck in a fan and gotten a bruise 29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk 30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock 31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it 32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside 33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else 34. Ever been kicked out of somewhere/off their property 35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot 36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on 37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in 38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard 39. Walked into a pole (OH, YES!!) 40. Wore two different shoes by accident 41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house 42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on 43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small 44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it 45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do. 46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it 47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up 48. Have poked yourself in the eye 49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on 50. Have gotten in the shower with your glasses still on 51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test 52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil 53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it 54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was. 55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were 56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on 57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day. 5851. Have done enough stupid things to make a test 52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil 53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it 54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was. 55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were 56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on 57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day. . Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it 60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie 61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa 62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it 63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence 64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person 65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side 66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions 67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong 68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it 69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out- 70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught 71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face 72. Have grabbed a light bulb while it was on 73. Ran into a door jam 74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid 75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it 76. Have purposely licked dirt 77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band 78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't 79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people 80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out 81. Put tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off 82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again 83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back. 84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about 85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in someone else's hair

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone

87. Have shoved your face into a plate of nacho cheese

88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people 89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria 90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it. 91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil 92. Have made a mini-play by drawing things on your hands 93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper 94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours 95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story 96. Have seen your house and forgotten it was your own 97. You have spelled your own name wrong before 98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling. 99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class. 100. Have popped a balloon against your body and hurt yourself

You're Too Awesome of a Harry Potter Fan when...

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath. We do that!

You call your least favorite teacher Snape. Actually we call him Lockhart because Snape is amazing!

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl. being blondes, i think we just run to the mailbox lol!

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas. I got one too!

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight. Yup!

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.) We have a whole notebook for that!

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace. i would have, if i could get in the fireplace to begin with!

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten. That is our goal in life!

You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!" Parking meters do really exist here, do teleyphones count?

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible I totally do!!!

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote! Yup because i am super lazy :)

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands. Well i was a little young for that... but when certin people in those books die i am still reduced to tears.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions YES but that's what 'Lockhart' teaches

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear. obviously

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move. I do not have a big enough brain to play chess...

You yell into the "tellyfone." Only if it's Kate-Lynn

You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme". No, I just sing it ALL THE TIME

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does. NO i say it because Forge and Gred say it!

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's). Thourouly overexcited is an understatment.

You name all of your pets after HP characters. I did...then they all died...:(

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books. What Potterhead doesn't?

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about. Basicly all my friends are Potterheads...or are being forced to be...:)

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences. Mentally yes, but what if the shoe hit Fred in the face, i couldn't risk it.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving Yup! Kinda...no not really... but i wanna apparate


586 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered

in bees". Kate-Lyunn come here, i need to poke you with a spoon!

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical

Creatures class. What's wrong with that?

3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.

5. I will not go to class skyclad. I solemly swear!!!!!!!!!

6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. Why not?

7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore". NO, if i were to etch something in my hand it would be ALways

8. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

9. I will not insist the house elves serve fried snake to the Slytherins.

10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. Unless it was Goyle or my aquantince Connor.

11. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. Who would do that to the poor creatuers :( OMG i sound like Herione and Kate-Lynn... Kate-Lynn should join S.P.E.W.

12. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a

clever moneymaking concept. Very Clever! Five Galleons they get drown but the giant squid!

13. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms". Yes he is... and he's after yours too!

14. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends". No, they dont like books...

15. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

16. I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall. I'll do that as long as Dumbledore doesn't relly take off all his clothes!

17. Or anywhere else for that matter.

18. I will not shave Mrs. Norris.

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".

20. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

21. I will not ask Lupin if it his time of the month.

22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast to Coast AM transcripts. HAHAHA YESH

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. It tells a better fortune than Trelawny (can't spell today)

24. I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Claus. HEY KATE-LYNN! There's no Santa Clause! Neville killed him!

25. I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

26. I am not a sloth Animagus. I am if i'm going to School.

27. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

28. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.

29. I do not weight the same as a duck. BUT I LIKE GRAPES!!!!!

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar. NOR WILL ME (Kate-lynn) EVER GIVE HIM ONE

31. I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think its funny.

32. I will not kiss Trevor. But i'd kiss his owner (kate-lynn)

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is. (Nor will I ask Hermione Granger)

34. Skiving Snackboxes are not a suitable gift for first-years. YES THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.

36. I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. In didn't need that image!

37. I will not mock Dumbledore with exaggerated limb movements. but that would be awesome!

38. I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark.

39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time. Nah, It's funny all the time, especially when they are to dumb to get it the first time :)

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey. That is... disturbing.

41. I will not insist that the trees in the Forbidden Forest are Ent wives. IT'S TOTALLY TRUE THOUGH!!!

42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.

49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

51. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

52. I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead. NO IT WOULD BE B.H. for bighead

53. Filch does not have a sister named Magenta.

54. I will refrain from wearing black leather gloves at all times and saying "Hogwarts is mother, Hogwarts is father".

55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela

Pheremones".

56. I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere chantry".

57. The Malfoys are not Draka.

58. Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will cease

going after the prefects with a sword.

59. Richard Upton Pickman did not paint The Fat Lady.

60. I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is. If she is then why can't I, i would be being truthful

61. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt. I think he would kill me...How am i to get in there in the first place

62. The Giant Squid has never made an appearance in any hentai film.

63. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte". That's his daughter in law

64. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda. Yes he is.

65. I will not refer to the hippogryph as "Horseybird". Obviously not, horseybird is childish, i call them The outcome of a failed experiment, i mean, how does that even work, think about it.

66. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy. But i can use it otherwise?

67. -Or any other Slytherin. Okay, i promise i will only use it behind their backs

68. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves. I wonder what he would do with it...

69. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor. YES I AM :P

70. -Nor am I the Care of Witches Underwear Professor. Uhm, obviously not, i am a witch

71. -I am not a Professor, at all.

72. I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

73. -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

74. -It was not an honest mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, it would have been something alot worse than Skele-grow, and it would have gone to Lockhart instead

74. I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.

76. I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.

77. -Or the teacher laundry.

78. Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again. I wonder...

79. While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference

to Belinda the Buttless. I don't think this is refering to magic wands...

80. It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory,

no matter how wicked the result would be. Hey! If a Hippogriff was created, why can't i create a Wamblewayna?

81. I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Christmas present. What if it's KAte-Lynn?

82. -Especially if I don't tell her what it is. If i was thinking like that, it would go to Draco

83. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey.

84. -Charming the label does not change anything.

85. I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class. Why?

86. -Even if I brought enough for everyone. Aw, That was nice of me!

87. -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior. I brought one for him to though!!!

88. Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' or prefects' orders.

89. No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.

90. Chemistry and Potions don't mix. I don' geddit

91. -Testing this last is not funny. It would be

92. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that. I should test that.

93. I may not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press. yes i should

94. I may not speak Latin in front of the books. Will i hurt their feelings?

95. The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good

authority that you have no evidence." But she doesn't have evidence...once i dispose of it.

96. I may not insinuate that all beautiful American exchange students to Gryffindor or Slytherin House in Harry Potter's

Year are Lockhart's misbegotten heirs, even if it's true. If it's true, why can't i?

97. I am not possesed by the ghost of Lady MacBeth. I AM TOO!

98. -Neither is The Fat Lady. she obviously is!

99. When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong is

indecent. It is? Couldn't have told me that sooner?

100. -Especially if I can't. Yea, that wasn't my best move...

101. If someone's House Badge is green and mine is purple, it means they are in Slytherin House. It does not mean "The

Sorting Hat thinks they're dumber than me." Purple? isn't that a muggle house? not that there is one... why do we have badges?

102. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even

for entertainment purposes. What if- no that isn't approprite.

103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums". How about Snooki?

104. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Sevvie"(I added that last one cuz it's funny), "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie". But Debbie is his ture identity!

105. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. But what if he is REALLY hugry?

106. Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does. Except for that one blast ended skrewt... KIDDING I DID NOT WALK IN ON THAT...:)

107. I am not authorised to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students. Collin took them!

108. -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.

109. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June. But-But-But- I want them

110. House Elf stew is not on the Hogwarts menu, neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.

111. A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored

I become.

112. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.

113. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder." Kate-Lynn, I have leagaly cghanged your name :)

114. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

115. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

116. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf." There is absolutly no reason why i can not

117. Neville is not my valet.

118. When given a directive by my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."

119. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

120. I will not threaten the Fat Lady with Dip.

121. House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.

122. Novelty or holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

123. There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.

124. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.

125. There is no bring a muggle to school day.

126. And I should stop insisting there is.

127. I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever coughed up a hairball.

128. I must not spread rumors that Lucius Malfoy is, was, or ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby's

Homeboys." Why? It is tottaly true

129. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins

that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.

130. I will not say that Harry Potter's godfather has "taken the veil." ARE YOU SIRIUS? THAT'S SO MEAN!

131. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout,

"There can be only ONE!"

132. I will not refer to any Death Eaters as "Trixie. CODE NAME!

133. -Even if it is a legitimate nickname. Told you

134. I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Mirkwood.

135. I must not start a "Vetinari for Minister of Magic" campaign.

136. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.

137. I should not tell anyone that Dean Thomas's nickname is John.

138. I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of

"intelligent design.

139. The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

140. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "Phantom of

the Opera.

141. I should not refer to DADA professors as "canaries in the coal mine.

142. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.

143. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

144. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.

145. I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".

146. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.

147. I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.

148. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.

149. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The

Chamber of Secrets".

150. I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a _ out of my hat!" during Charms class.

151. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am

I its founder.

152. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as

my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

153. Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

154. I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for

Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.

155. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

156. I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real mother.

157. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L.

exams.

158. Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".

159. A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

160. Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy."

161. Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

162. Professor McGonagall does not have an inappropriate relationship with Mrs. Norris.

163. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".

164. Professor Flitwick has heard all the "swish and flick" jokes before, and is very, very tired of them.

165. I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas.

166. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

167. I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

168. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.

169. -Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise.

170. I am not to ask if Lord Voldemort is secretly Hitler or Osama bin Laden.

171. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

172. I will not die the Death Eaters robes pink.

173. Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is

inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.

174. Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a

quill and parchment is sufficient.

175. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

176. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either

177. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner

in which one should answer.

178. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

179. I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's sight ever again.

180. I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas.

181. -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, or any other food item. Or any other item that is not a Bludger.

182. I may not have a private army.

183. -Not even if it technically belongs to someone else.

184. I should not encourage the house-elves to unionize.

185. I must stop referring to the professors by the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.

186. I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

187. Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

188. "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an

experimental spell.

189. Portable Swamps are not funny.

190. Revel fires are to be danced around. It is not appropriate to dispose of old love letters or other sensitive

documents in them.

191. Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are.

192. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying, "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.

193. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.

194. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at.

195. Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.

196. Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny. He does not like being reminded of his incident.

197. Trying to out-argue a Slytherin will lead to no good.

198. Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

199. I am not the wicked witch of the west.

200. -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

201. I will not melt if water is poured over me.

202. -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

203. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.

204. I am not a Wirn animagus, either.

205. I will not ask Aragog if he came from Metabelis III.

206. -Or if he has any pretty blue crystals.

207. "Nessie is actually a cyborg created by the Zygons" is not an appropriate thing to say in Care of Magical

Creatures Class.

208. While it is appropriate to refer to Voldemort as "Master" while in his service, Voldemort and The Master are not

one and the same.

209. I cannot substitute Prydonian robes for my Hogwarts uniform.

210. -Nor can my winter scarf be longer than standard issue.

211. I cannot attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.

212. -Or transform a pepperpot into a Dalek.

213. Lucius Malfoy is not my "sugar daddy" and I will not claim he is.

214. -That goes double when Draco Malfoy is within earshot.

215. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.

216. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

217. I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.

218. My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.

219. No part of the school uniform is edible.

220. -I am not allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.

221. I am not allowed to take house points from firsties for "being too goddamned short".

222. Never, ever, attempt to correct Professor Moody about anything.

223. I must not refer to Headmaster Dumbledore as "Mum".

224. -Nor Professor Snape.

225. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.

226. -Nor allowed to use silencing charms on my Prefects.

227. -Nor allowed to use silencing charms, period.

228. I am not allowed to prophesy the end of the world more than once.

229. I will not offer to sell Hagrid new creatures.

230. -Especially not if I actually have them.

231. Madame Hooch's name is just that, a name. I will not ask her to share.

232. -I also will not ask her to fly under the influence.

233. I will not try to recreate the Whomping Willow in herbology class.

234. Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted by aliens.

235. I will not charm Hermione's time turner to rotate every half-hour.

236. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

237. I am not allowed to charm the words Ferret Boy onto Draco's forehead.

238. I will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets.

239. Especially if it is only a one-way ticket.

240. Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.

241. Playgirl and Playboy are not on the reading list for muggle studies.

242. Woad and other camoflage/body paints are not needed for DADA.

243. I may not challenge prefects to Meet me on the Quidditch field, at dawn.

244. I shouldn't throw Fanged-Frisbees in the Great Hall.

245. I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

246. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.

247. I should not show up at the front gate wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk.

248. -Even if my prefect did it.

249. I will not only wear "Wizard hat, open robe & tie" and call it an authorized uniform.

250. Teaching exchange students to taunt other Hufflepuffs is not nice.

251. When detained by dementors, I do not have a right to a strip search.

252. Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.

253. I will not refer to McGonagall as "the cat-girl.

254. - Nor will I attempt to stop her transformation part way through.

255. - The same goes for Hermione.

256. I will not hand red shirts to the new DADA professor and claim that they're the standard uniform for the

position.

257. I will not use invisibility charms on anyones clothing.

258. I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

259. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much

they injure themselves diving for cover.

260. I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

261. - Especially not all of them at once.

262. I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

263. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.

264. It doesn't matter if he is going on vacation; I will not comment about how the Minister of Magic is "packing."

265. The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on

the new moon.

266. I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on the Astronomy Tower.

267. - Likewise the satellite dish.

268. The Slytherin Gift to Virgins is fictional, and I should not be asking Draco Malfoy or any of the other Slytherin

boys if they've mastered it yet.

269. The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop

insinuating that he is.

270. I will stop sending Professor Snape forged love notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin.

271. I will stop asking Professor Lupin exactly what goes on between him and Professor Snape when he brings him the

Wolfsbane potion every month.

272. Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.

273. Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.

274. Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as

'Spock'.

275. I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.

276. I am not to stare at the Great Hall ceiling during dinner in the winter and cry 'My god, it's full of stars!'

277. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's

office'.

278. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

279. -Especially not with kazoos.

280. The research and manufacture of mind-altering substances will not gain me extra credit in Potions.

281. I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an

hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

282. When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you

are looking for'.

283. Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

284. I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'

285. I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher.

286. -I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape.

287. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile,

Robin!'

288. - Or 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!'

289. Professor Flitwick is not to be referred to as the 'Dungeon Master'.

290. I will not try to convert my housemates to Christianity.

291. -Or Wicca.

292. -This does not mean that my religious rights are being violated.

293. I am not allowed to hit Bludgers at spectators.

294. -Or the referee.

295. I will not commit crimes and then say I was under the Imperius curse.

296. I will not insult people and then say I was given Veritaserum.

297. -I will not give people Veritaserum.

298. The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.

299. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

300. -Neither is Professor Snape.

301. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

302. The house elves are not there to do my homework.

303. Neither are the ghosts.

304. I am not a magical creature.

305. I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.

306. I am not Voldemort's illegitimate love child.

307. Professor Snape did not kill my father and does not deserve to die.

308. Seamus Finnegan does not have a pot of gold under his bed.

309. -Or under his robe.

310. I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order 'to see what happens'.

311. Grindewald is not my role model.

312. -Neither is Voldemort.

313. I will not cast 'Petrificus Totalus' on myself in order to avoid going to classes.

314. I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.

315. -Including my own.

316. I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history

in my Muggle Studies class.

317. I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.

318. "All's fair in love and war" is not an official rule of Hogwarts.

319. I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyle by calling them by each other's names.

320. I will not attempt to make Professor's Trelawney's predictions come true.

321. Professor Snape's problem is not that "he needs to get laid".

322. Draco Malfoy is not a ferret animagus.

323. Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

324. -Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

325. Even if I myself to do not believe in it, I will respect that the school observes daylight savings time.

326. Providing Peeves with a case of dungbombs was a socially irresponsible action, and I will not do it again.

327. Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research.

328. Regardless of how much Professor Snape's hair might annoy me, it is inappropriate to sneak into his room at night

and shave it off.

329. -Likewise, it is unkind to make the aforementioned hair into a wig and wear it to potions class.

330. -Nobody cares that it makes me feel "pretty".

331. Robes are appropriate school wear. Bathrobes are not.

332. Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.

333. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

334. I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

335. "OMGWTF" is not a spell. Does it kill lockhart?

336. Cornelius Fudge does not appreciate being called "Fudgie the Whale. liar

337. Shouting "Accio Dobby!" is not the proper way to get house-elf assistance. it works though

338. I will not go into Dumbledore's pensieve looking for graphic faculty smut. never ever EVER will i do that

339. It is not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. yes it is

340. "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years. Oh...

341. The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much

forgivable". Well it obviously does because they arent called UNforgivable

342. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. Burn

343. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. OH GOOD IDEA

344. I am not allowed to scare the first-years by screaming "I'm melting! I'm meeeeeeeeeeeltiiing!" while they are in

the showers. LOLOLOLOL i so would too

345. I am not allowed to forget my Omnioculars in either the boys' or the girl's bathroom. Especially not while they

are in recording mode. Oh... Wait! i never did that! cough

346. I am not allowed to leave the catnip out in Professor McGonagall's class. what if shes hungry

347. I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent. hes not a vampire nor is cedric

348. I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. Cough

349. I will not give Professor McGonagall catnip, hairball medicine or string for Christmas, no matter how much I think

she will like them. can i slid them in her christmas cracker?

350. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore. Even if it would be amusing. who gave me these rules?

351. -Not even if I want to try to convince others he's going senile Like really? senile?

352. I will not ask if Professor Lupin has had all his shots, such as rabies. Nor will I ask it of Professor

McGonagall. Lupoin does but McGonagall...

353. I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for

that matter doing any other activity. I dont wanna know how i know thayt...wait that makes no sense, remind me why im in Ravenclaw?

354. Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is

forbidden. wth is a hufflepuff? ...random

355. Telling people that Professor Snape is an animagus and turns into a snake is not recommended. professor snake

356. Please do not tell 1st years that the fried chicken is really Kentucky Fried Owl. yum!

357. I will not get a muggle tattoo artist to tattoo the Dark Mark on any part of my body. any part...? what about if i put a toothpick with in on in my...ear and then put glue in and it was officially purt of my body?

358. I will not tell 1st year Hufflepuffs that the Dark Lord eats Hufflepuffs for breakfast. Or any other meal. And

then tell them that if they inform anyone of the warning the Dark Lord will choose them next. Hey K? He's coming for you...

359. Singing "Wild Thing, you make my heart sing" whenever you see Professor Lupin is not allowed, even though he likes

it. I think I wrote these rules

360. Please stop telling 1st years about the time the Hogwarts Christmas tree ate a student. and it was all like roar and they were like *girly scream noise* and it was like yummmy and they were like...oh

361. I am not to "walk on water" in front of muggles. if i throw a flip-flop and it bounces on the water, is that walking on water

362. I will not compel Seamus Finnegan to pursue people asking them for their Lucky Charms. He's stealing me lucky charms, hie yo spoons, hide yo bowls he''s stealing everybody's cornflakes

363. I am not to tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have my friends/other

people to call Ni from various directions.

364. Draco Malfoy is not a vampire. yea well he sparkles with hottness so it's impossible

365. -Especially not a vampire named 'Spike'. meh, i call him that anyways

366. Watching "The Food Network" is not equivalent to sitting NEWT-level Potions classes. what about if they make pork chops?

367. Pinning Confederate flags to the backs of Death Eater masks is not wise. why not?

368. Voldemort does not wish to appear in a Visine commercial. oh, then it must be... uh never mind

369. -Or as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE HORROR

370. Hogwarts is in the UK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore,

'Avada Kedavra' does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights. GOD DAMMIT

371. The ceiling of the Great Hall would not look better as an Omni IMAX dome. yes it would, admitt it

372. Calling Voldemort "Baldemort" is inappropriate. my feelings are broken

373. When called upon in class, I shall not insist that the correct answer to everything is '42'. it's 69

374. I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. HARRY POTTER'S FATHER? HI JAMESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

375. Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong. i dont geddit

376. -So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them. flying monkeys are orange and they live in refridgerators

377. Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. johnny depp?

378. I cannot be a Heffalump animagus.YES I CAN! MOMMY SAID I CAN BE ANYTHING THING I WANT TO BE!

379. I cannot lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive. lol i so should

380. Mr. Weasley's flying car is not to be taken apart piece by piece and rebuilt inside Snape's classroom. i would not have the patience for that one

381. I cannot charm all dictionaries to have: "Gryffindor" as the definition of "gullible." hey harry? gullible is written on the ceiling

382. Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles. that's edward

383. Robes are not optional. i like wearing strret clothes better

384. Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match. who the hell let me be the commentor

385. There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man". Im sorry I lied K

386. -Even if I do conjure him up. NEVER MIND i didnt lie

387. Leaving mash notes signed "Your secret admirer, Harry" in Neville Longbottom's books is both unfunny and cruel. to k yea, but to me...

388. I will not sing the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme song when the Weasley family passes by. i wanna go to the burrow now...i also want to try knicker bocker glory

389. -Or the "Hee-Haw" theme song. they arent donkeys!!!!!!!!!!! specially not Fred... FFFFrrrreeeddd...

390. -Or "Eight is Enough". they have seven kids...Bill Charlie Percy Fred George Ron and Ginny

391. Asking the Weasley twins, "So do you do everything together?" is ill advised. I GET TO TALK TO FRED! *passes out*

392. Telling Lucius what he could do with his staff... is not advisable. staff? i hope there talking about hs pimp cane not his...

393. I will not ask the school to sponsor a break dancing crew. yea i will

394. Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served. VOLDIE GOT SERVED! sounds about right to me

395. Getting Colin Creevey drunk and steering him toward a sleeping Harry Potter is just a bad idea all around. i have to agree on this one, sleeping draco however

396. -Then using his camera to take incriminating photos is not nice. i'd keep them to myself

397. Coming up behind Harry while he and Draco are glowering at each other and saying "Oh, go on and kiss him already!"

is not funny. I'LL KISS DRACO!!!

398. -Even if Luna Lovegood does say, "Yes, I thought so too." wiat...what?

399. I am not a Balrog animagus. I totaly am!

400. The house never did fall on Professor Umbridge's sister, nor is she suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder

as a result. no shes a toad

401. I may not try to find out if any of the owls are David Bowie in animagus form. humpf

402. I will not ask people what their daemons are. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

403. I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagna. EWW THE EVIL L WORD WHY WOULD I DO THAT IM NOT MEANING TO KILL

404. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another

house. no, im in Ravenclaw

405. I will not call Pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room. great now i want pizza...K wanna go get some?

406. I will not poison first years. No matter how much I think they need it. mean

407. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses. cool idea

408. I will not tempt Ravenclaws with apples. I will also not say that the Slytherins have tempted other students with

apples. i like apples... drapple :)

409. Frankenstein is not required reading for DADA classes. i dont wanna read

410. -Neither is Dracula. lies

411. I will not try to explain the laws of physics, not even for the sake of argument. what are physics

412. If I even look like I might sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" I will be Obliviated. i know a song that gets on everybody's neverve, everybody's nevers everybody's nerves...

413. Using the 'Petrificus Totalus' curse on Draco Malfoy and dumping him in the Gryffindor common room as a Christmas

present to the House means you should watch your back until June. ohkay

414. -Especially if the Weasley twins were staying over break. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

415. -If Lee Jordan was there too, you're going to need a bodyguard. fred will be there

416. I will not claim to be able to see the Thestrals if I cannot. IF

417. -I will not tell first years that "any true wizard or witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they

"obviously aren't cut out for this school". ohkay buut most people will be able to c them by now

418. I am not to tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste better when one eats a whole

handful simultaneously. i've tried that... i dont recomend it

419. I will not take out a life insurance policy on any Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. lol

420.I will not attempt to repel Dementors by covering myself in chocolate body paint. do you think that'd work?

421. I will not sneak up behind Draco and Harry while they are in their Staring Snarky Yelling Matches and yell, "SLASH

SLASH SLASH! LET'S SEE SOME SLASH!" i hate drarry... well i dislike it

422. I will not give Hagrid Pokmon cards and convince him that they are real animals

423. -Likewise, I will not tell First Year Muggle-borns that Pokmon battles are a part of the Care of Magical Creatures

curriculum

424. I am not qualified to perform exorcisms on Hogwarts ghosts, and attempting to do so will merely offend them.

425. Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".

426. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

427. Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.

428. The Crucible is not summer reading for History of Magic, and I should not tell First Years that it is.

429. "You might be a Pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.

430. I will not play the Darth Vader theme for Professor Snape.

431. - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

432. The bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove

otherwise.

433. If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a

nom-de-plume.

434. - I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

435. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror.

436. -Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is inappropriate.

437. -Especially if he's wearing it.

438. Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as "Bulk and Skull". "Dumb and Dumber" is equally inappropriate.

439. -I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

440. Comparing Draco Malfoy to Alex Krycek, Lindsay McDonald, Lex Luthor or any similar character is not an appropriate

subject for a Muggle Studies essay.

441. I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

442. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle's first names are, respectively, Draco, Vincent and Gregory, not Larry, Darryl and

Darryl.

443. The Slytherin Quidditch team should not be referred to as "Draco Malfoy and a moderate amount of cross-dressing".

444. -Even if that is an accurate description.

445. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

446. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

447. I am not allowed to spank others.

448. -Even if Malfoy liked it.

449. No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.

450. -This goes double for superglue.

451. I am not to dance naked in the great hall.

452. -Or on the grounds.

453. -Generally, dancing naked is wrong.

454. Despite the appearances of the employees and the vaults, Gringotts is not the entrance to the Labyrinth.

455. -While in the company of goblins, I must not demand that I be taken to Jareth.

456. -Nor shall I tell them "You remind me of the babe.

457. Draco Malfoy no longer requires a nanny, nor does he need tucking in and "a bit of a cuddle" at bedtime.

458. - Not even if he insists that he does. And that his father has hired me to provide said service.

459. I am not to call Hogwarts "the most covert anti-Death Eater organization on the planet.

460. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus' Animagus form.

461. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother

and sister?"

462. I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

463. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

464. I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals they

are learning.

465. I will not ask Dobby why he doesn't look more like Orlando Bloom.

466. - Nor will I ask him if he works for Santa Claus in the off-season.

467. I will not invite Professor Snape to a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".

468. -The same goes double for Voldemort.

469. -Likewise, I will no longer be permitted to refer to Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange as Riff Raff and

Magenta.

470. -Especially to their faces.

471. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Lupin's office door.

472. Draco Malfoy does not appreciate being called 'Ferret Boy'

473. -Or 'The Blond Boy Wonder'

474. Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'

475. Sending love notes to Professor Snape and signing them 'With Love, Draco Malfoy' is not appropriate.

476. -Neither is signing them with: 'I had a great time last night, Argus Filch.'.

477. Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable.

478. -Especially if the song is 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty'.

479. Or 'I'm too sexy'.

480. I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal

times.

481. Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane'.

482. I must never sneak up behind Draco Malfoy and coo "How's my Blondie-Bear?"

483. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is

just wrong, funny, but wrong.

484. It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says `All the good-looking ones die young` with a picture

of Cedric Diggory on it.

485. I am not to tell Draco that I know all about his affair with Hermione Granger.

486. -Especially if it's not true.

487. -I also cannot sell the story to Rita Skeeter.

488. -Or owl Lucius, Narcissa, or Bellatrix with the imaginary details

489. A ferret is not a proper Christmas gift for Draco Malfoy.

490. -Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a ferret so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either.

491. -Giving Draco a bowl of ferret pellets with his dinner was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny.

492. Voldemort is not my homeboy.

493. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in

any of them.

494. Asking Harry how his parents are doing is just cruel.

495. Repeat: Draco and Harry are not secret lovers. Draco and Harry are not secret lovers.

496. Dont tell Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs that Lucius Malfoy goes around singing "Dance, Dark Lord, Dance".

497. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to get a room every time they start fighting.

498. -Nor will I say this to Harry and Snape.

499. -Or Harry and Draco.

500. Draco Malfoy does not smell almost subliminally of summer peaches.

501. Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere. It is also disrespectful to Albus Dumbledore's memory.

502. Using Love potion number nine on people are illegal. Therefore I should not make Harry fall in love with Pansy

Parkinson. Again.

503. Draco does not take singing requests, therefore I should stop asking him to sing "Tearing Up My Heart"

504. -or any other songs.

505. This list being used as a checklist is inappropriate, therefore I shouldn't do so.

506. I will not refer to Voldemort as "Voldie-Poo"

507. I will not enchant Draco so that he looks Emo/Goth to everyone around him except himself.

508. I will not turn myself into Malfoy (Polyjuice potion) and tell everyone in Hogwarts my undying love for Pansy

Parkinson...again.

509. I did not see Malfoy making out with Cho, Crabbe, or Goyle in the girls bathroom, therefore I should not tell Harry

loudly in the great hall.

510. I will not sell the sorting hat for money for cigarettes.

511. I will not mix up potions and magic stuff together and make Ron drink it and tell him it is soda that tastes like

that because a bunny made it just for him.

512. I will not bring an evil creature from the 8th dimension and call it my pet.

513. I won't dress up in a black robe, wear a bald wig and tell people that I'm Voldemort.

514. I won't dress up as the "Dark Magician" or the "Dark Magician Girl" in class.

515. Hogwarts does NOT teach you how to banish people to the "shadow realm".

516. I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade.

517. - Nor will I yell that there is the dark mark floating over somewhere.

518. I will not walk up to Ron and Hermione and say they're the perfect couple

519. - Nor will I tell that to Harry and Ginny

520. - Nor Malfoy and Pansy

521. I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that

bad bad nightmare about Harry.

522. - Nor will I do the same thing with Malfoy and his blanky.

523. - Nor Snape with his girly bunny rabbit slippers.

524. I will not tell Lockhart that he is actually a dancer who stars in Swan Lake.

525. I will not write Moogles instead of Muggles.

526. I will not ask Harry if I can have a thunder bolt scar too.

527. I will not ask Malfoy is cole his brother

528. - Nor Snape.

529. Draco is not Billy Idol's little brother.

530. I will not ask Draco if I can use his face cream.

531. Saying Voldy is my hero is bad.

532. I will not say that Harry has a female counterpart who stars in a kids education show.

533. -Nor will I say that her name is Sharry Spotter.

534. I will not steal Draco's blanky.

535. I will not yell "I saw Draco and Snape last night!" in the Great Hall or anywhere.

536. I will not charm Hermione's cat to jump up and yell Rawr I'm he-who-must-not-be-named!

537. I will not try and get zombies to eat Draco.

538. -Nor Snape.

539. I will not follow anyone around saying "pimp hat" at the most random moments.

540. I will not refer to Fred and George as Hikaru and Kaouru.

541. Pokemon are not real, therefore I will not convince Hagrid that Pokemon are real animals so that he'll have a

lesson all about Pokemon.

542. I will not call Professor Dumbledore 'Dumblydork'.

543. I will not confuse Voldemort with Xehanort.

544. -Nor will I say they are related in any way.

545. -Nor mention that their names rhyme.

546. I will not yell, "Harry has a girlfriend! Harry loves Ginny!" in the Great Hall.

547. - Nor will I yell, "Ron loves Hermione!" in the Great Hall.

548. I will not charm a poster of Brittney Spears onto Draco's wall.

549: Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.

550: - The same goes for Profesore Trelawney.

551: - Calling that drug something else changes nothing.

552: -Nor does saying they are high on some OTHER drug.

553. I will not tell Dumbledore that there are people outside the books who despise him.

554. - Nor will I say the same thing to Harry.

555. I will not tell Voldemort that he's too freaken lazy to do stuff himself.

556. Cho is not on anti- depressants, nor should I imply that she needs them.

557. Cho's curly haired friend Marietta with her SNEAK pimples is not "before" for a mag.

558. -Rita Skeeter is not "after"

559. Dobby is not Harry's secret lover, no matter how much he wants to be.

560. Saying he's "obviously not good enough..." is just cruel.

561. Calling the ASPCA about the way Ron treated Scabbers (Wormtail) is pointless, as he is already dead, on the run,

or an accomplice depending on where in the books you are.

562: I will not send Fainting Fancies to the Slytherin common room without a antidote, and only a card saying "to the

pretty-est girl in the house". Again.

563:I will not blame the Ravenclaw quiditch team for the entire female population of Slytherin being unconscious for no

apparent reason.

564: I will not let my owl claw out the eyes of the Slytherins.

565: I will not let my wand run amok and paint everyones faces purple

566: I am not to call people with freckles "spotted owls"

567: I will not eat liver then throw it up on Professor Snape.

568: I will not punch the wandboards until they explode.

569. I will stop insisting that Snape and Hermione are secret admirers.

570. - Same goes for McGonagall and Dumbledore.

571 Nearly Headless Nick does not approve of being called Casper the Friendly Ghost.

572. The fact that Dudley didn't like his pig tail does not mean I should keep switching to different tails to find one he

likes better.

573. If muggle children near the school WANTED their baseballs replaced with bludgers they would have said.

(574. I will not convince everyone that girlnextdoor101 is a horcrux, and that for the sake of the world she MUST die.

575. I will not convince everyone that thegirlnextdoor101 is Lord Voldemort after drinking polyjuice potion.

576. No matter how much I want to, I will not go into Slytherin house, where I will without a doubt find

thegirlnextdoor101 and murder her, then say "Sorry Harry, she was a death eater-in-training. She and Malfoy were in

this together, but I figured I'd leave him to you.

577. I will not ask the real Moody if the real him would turn Malfoy into a feret just like the fake Moody did.

578. -If he says yes, I will not ask him to turn thegirlnextdoor101 into a racoon, a naked mole rat, a vole, or any other rodent)

[I have no idea who girlnextdoor101 is but apparently people don't like her]

579. I will not speak out about how inhumane it is to use vanishing charms on living creatures, because I'm sure I will

just be told to "get off my soap box"

580. To actualy make a soap box to stand on, is inappropriate.

581. The Sorcerer's Stone is destroyed and even though they are annoying, first year Slytherins should not be told it's

still down there, as they all want immortality,and the Devil's Snare gets them every time.

582. No one at Hogwarts will buy Harry's gravy stained napkins and having proved this I will not try selling at Hogsmeade

either.

583. -Even if interested buyers like Colin Creevy found me at Diagon Ally, I shouldn't be selling Harry's gravy stained

napkins.

584. -It doesn't matter that he offered me 2 galleons, eleven sickles.

585. I will not use a time turner to hex Malfoy andthegirlnextdoor101 and then have

eye witness's chip in that they saw me in the place of my alibi. (Again have no idea who girlnextdoor101 is)

586. I will not bring up neopets.com and say its an informational website about a

unique breed of diversified creatures, or insist we use the website to learn to care

for them properly.


I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson".

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

I am the girl who loves her best friend but is afraid to let her know it.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

If you think that Homophobia is totally messed up and needs to be stopped copy and paste this into your profile.


THE BASICS: Name: Alex (I still will write in this, if Kate-Lynn would like to do this she can do anything but this magic writing) Age: 14 Month of Birth: Juna Siblings?: Two little brothers Parents still married?: Yup. Occupation: Student and I bbsit! Do you like your job?:Sometimes Languages?: English, Sign Language and a little French from school.Pets?: none, unless you count the nargles and wrackspurts Hair colour?: Blondey browny thingy. Eye colour?: green Shoe size?: 6-9 Tattoos?: Nope. Piercings?: ears Current mood: Bubbly Current wardrobe choice: pjs What are you listening to?: SEXY AND I KNOW IT LMFAOWho did you last speak with on the phone?: Travel agent. What do you currently smell like?: A human

LAST: Movie watched: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 Magazine looked at: SeventeenThing you ate: Chocolate Book you read:Harry Potter and the Chamber of SecretsT.V show watched: CRIMINAL MINDS OMG Time you cried: Last night cuz my friend kept making me laugh Got a real letter (snail mail): I got a bank statment about three weeks ago.... Ate at a restaurant: Two weeks... DQ C.D you bought: I bought the soundtrack for HPDHp2

WHAT IS/WAS: Best thing to happen today?: Your most prized possession: Hp books, Stuffed dog, blanket ipod and computer Your first vehicle: A bicycle? Your current vehicle: dont got one Your favourite quote: ALways Your bedtime (average): 10pm. This is the time i'm in bed at. I write or read waaay past this time. Your best trait/characteristic: Everything Your worst trait/characteristic: I kinda babbel

DO YOU: Store things under your bed: YES Daydream: Do i ever stop? Have a computer at home: Yes. If i didn't, i would die. Live in the city, suburbs or country: City Live in a home, apartment, mobile home, etc: House. Own a cell phone: No... but there is one that is sitting in the living room that i may get Have a good luck charm: HPDH book Collect anything: Hp lego Attend High school or college: Neither yetMake good grades:Yes but i dont try

HAVE YOU EVER: Had a surgery: yes Had teeth pulled: 7. Broke the law intentionally: yea, i jaywalk walk everyday... rebel right? Ran away from home: nope Broken a Bone: I broke my toe when i kinda fell into a swimming pool then i fell off a side walk and broke my arm in 5 places the i fell off my skateboard and broke my elbow then i rolled down a hill and broke the joint between my toe and foot. Cheated on a test/exam: nope Had a friend pass away: no, but one of them may be close to suiced if the bulli=ying doesnt stop, two acctually Been in an auto accident: Nope. *touches wood* Lied to someone: Of course. I don't do it often though. I find it's easier to tell the truth, all you have to do is make it suit yourself. ;) Been lied to: Hell yeah. Who hasn't?

YOUR FAVOURTIE: Place to Be: pool or the river (not that im allowed to be anywhere near the river, let alone in it) Place to Visit:Wizarding World of Harry POtterPlace to chill: My bedroom and Kd's house Non-alcoholic drink: orange juiceAlcoholic drink: Martini's are good...not that i've had one... Type of food: chocolateMeal/Food dish: DUMPLINGS and stew i guessDessert: baked apples Shampoo/Conditioner: Whatever one happens to be in the bathroom at the time. Toothpaste: Colgate? Salad Dressing:Ranch Ice Cream: double dark chocolate with gummy bears Fast Food Establishment: KFC Colour: Purple Season:Summer Holiday: Christmas Perfume/Cologne: I dont have oneVideo Game:MINECRAFTT.V show:CRIMINAL MINDSSmells: Black LIcorice, right after it rains and Warm Bread Article of clothing: My monster hoodie Book: HPDH Children's book: Come along daisy and guess how much I love youCandy: chocolate. Car: lambergini (probs spelt it wrong... i feel like it has and h

DO YOU BELIEVE: In Karma: Yes, I continually experience itIn God: Not the christian God. In Heaven and Hell: Yes. I'm hoping to go up when the time comes... That aliens exist: Yes, it is falsifiable (kd) That ghosts exist: YupIn horoscopes: I don't know, never thought about it In others you know: AbsolutlyIn yourself: Yes.


YOUR GUY SIDE:

~You love hoodies. ~You love jeans. ~Dogs are better than cats. ~It's hilarious when people get hurt. ~You've played with/against boys on a team. ~Shopping is torture. ~Sad movies suck. ~You own/ed an X-Box. ~Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. ~At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. ~You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. ~You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. ~You watch sports on TV. ~Gory movies are cool. ~You go to your dad for advice. ~You own like a trillion baseball caps. ~You like going to high school football games. ~You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. ~Baggy pants are cool to wear. It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people ~Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. ~You love to go crazy and not care what people think. ~Sports are fun ~Talk with food in your mouth. ~Sleep with your socks on (sometimes)

Total= 16

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

~You wear lip gloss/chapstick. ~You love to shop. ~You wear eyeliner. ~You wear the color pink ~Go to your mom for advice. ~You consider cheerleading a sport ~You hate wearing the color black. ~You like hanging out at the mall. ~You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. ~You like wearing jewelry. ~Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe~Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. ~You don't like the movie Star Wars. ~You were in gymnastics/dance? ~It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. ~You smile a lot more than you should. ~You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. ~You care about what you look like. ~You like wearing dresses when you can. ~You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. ~You love the movies. ~Used to play with dolls as little kid. ~Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. ~Like being the star of everything

Total= 7


Top five favourite het pairings:

1. James/Lily

2. Draco/Hermione

3. Dominique/Lysander

4. Harry/Ginny

5. Luna/Neville

Top 3 SLASH pairings.

1. Draco/Harry

2. Seamus/Dean

3. Uhm... IDK

Top 3 favourite Femmeslash pairings:

1. Bellatrix/Hermione

2. Bellatrix/Ginny

3. Bellatrix/Luna

Weirdest pairings that I've ever read:

Hagrid/Hedwig

Harry/Giant Squid

Pairings that I hate:


If you just read our intire profile, congrats you have no life. :)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I Thee Forcefully Wed by Parvati48 reviews
Harry and the gang are back for their 7th year at Hogwarts and the Ministry has instilled a Marriage Law. Hermione gets Draco, will they ever find love and happiness?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 189,550 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 11/28/2014 - Published: 9/15/2011 - Hermione G., Draco M.
It's a Mystery by Sunshinesque reviews
"What're you doing here! And why are you...why are you naked!" "I could ask you the same question. Not that I mind though. Honestly, Evans, you should dress like that all the time." *Life is a mystery.* -LxJ-
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 100,467 - Reviews: 517 - Favs: 500 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 12/13/2011 - Published: 12/16/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

So Hogwarts Eh? reviews
Jordan and Ruby led quite normal lives untill now, normal teenage drama, normal families, but thats all about to change. WHat happens when owls fly through the window in math class. Will their dreams come true? rated t for language
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,805 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2/12/2012 - Published: 10/29/2011 - Albus S. P., OC
Speak Now reviews
Series of one shots written for Gamma Orionis' Album to Story chalenge. Taylor Swift's Speak Now. Rated T for language and Self Harm.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,175 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/1/2012
See What I've Done? reviews
Ginny write in a diary for the last time. Her veiw of the chamber told.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 910 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/4/2011 - Ginny W.
Killing Her Wasn't Wrong reviews
Dominique loves Scorpius. Victorie wants Scorpius for the name. How far will Victorie go to get it? Who will Scopius choose?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,284 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/20/2011 - Scorpius M., Dominique W.