
Author has written 1 story for NCIS.
Hey all! My Name is Katie and i hope you enjoy my stories :)
I love NCIS, Wicked, RENT :)
Ziva: I'm wondering why I have a 9 mm hole in my cap?
Gibbs: (Pause, then answers somewhat uncertainly) Ventilation.
Gibbs: I trust you. You know that. But when we leave this elevator…
Ziva: You start kicking my butt.
Gibbs: (surprised) I don´t kick butt!
Ziva: A Marine dressed as a Civil War soldier shot by a musket, and then buried alive in a 140-year-old antique iron casket. And you're telling me this isn't your strangest case?
Tony: Yeah.
McGee: Pretty much.
Ziva: I don't know what I find more disturbing. Your eating habits or that fact I believe you.
Tony: I'm sorry, do our strange American foods frighten you?
Ziva: Haha, not at all. I was referring to your manners. You should have bought me one. (takes bite of Tony's burrito) Mmm...
McGee: Ah ha.
Tony: "Ah ha?"
McGee: I'm gonna go help Abby.
Tony: Ziva?
Ziva: Yes?
Tony: First of all, don't ever do that again. And second, what are you doing?
Ziva: I'm observing you Tony.
Tony: Any way you can do that in a less disturbing manner?
Tony: (to himself) I hate mondays.I hate fat house all you can eat burrito shack.More like fat house bacteria shack.I should't have come into work today.Gibbs sees me like this...
Ziva: He would probably be as horrified as I am, Agent DiNozzo.
(Tony turns to look at her)
Ziva: Working undercover as a hobo?
Tony: Mind telling me what you're doing here again?
Ziva: Uuhhhh, waiting.
Tony: For what?
Ziva: To start work.Does everyone always come in this late?
Tony: It's 0700.
Ziva: In Mossad we start at 0500.
Tony: Okay, let me refrase the original question: 'what the heck are you doing here, Ziva?'
Ziva: I see, Gibbs didn't tell you.
Tony: Tell me what?
Ziva: Mossad has assigned me to NCIS as a Liason Officer.We're going to be working together.
Tony: Does Gibbs know about this?
Ziva: Do you think I would be here if he didn't?
(the both laugh)
Ziva: You might want to do something about your hair.It's sticking up a porcuswine...wrong word, like a porcu...pig.The little animal with the little spikey's, yes?
McGee: Porcupine?
Ziva: Porcupine! Thank you, Special Agent McGee!
Tony: (About Ziva) Remind me to never tick her off.
Gibbs: Oh, DiNozzo.You have no idea.
(Tony and Ziva are at dinner. They are in contact with the rest of the team through earwigs)
Ziva: This is nice, isn't it?
Tony: Yeah. (laughs) Quiet little dinner, just the six of us!
Ducky: "How many times did he hit you?"
Tony: "I wasn't counting."
Ziva: "7 times."
Tony: "She was, of course."
(Ziva lands on top of Tony to protect him from a ricocheting bullet.)
Tony: Why are you on top of me?
Ziva: I'm protecting you.
Tony: Well don't.
Ziva: You didn't seem to mind when we were under cover.
Tony: That might have something to do with the fact that you were naked.
Ziva: Perhaps if it were warmer in here.
Tony: Really. Let me rephrase the question. Why are you still on top of me?
Tony: I was going to say that your life would have had more meaning if you had slept with me.
Ziva: If you had anything else on your mind perhaps I would have.
Tony: Reeeally?
Ziva: Um, no. Tony: So, riddle me this Badgirl. How does one wrangle an invite to dinner at your place?
Ziva: Why, feel a little left out, Tony?
Tony: I mean, McGee, I can understand. He's a good guest. I bet he brought a bottle of wine.
Ziva: And dessert.
Tony: Yeah, big surprise there. But Palmer? I've had more stimulating conversations with cat
Ziva: Just like the diner in Pulp Fiction
Tony: You don't know how to say 'porcupine' but you know the diner from Pulp Fiction.
Ziva: Believe it or not, we actually have movie theatres in my country.
Tony: People with guns make me nervous.
Ziva: I've noticed.
Tony: I was talking about you actually.
Ziva: Eh.
Ziva: I said no, I don't want him to think I'm sleazy.
Tony: The term is easy.
Ziva: What's that difference?
Tony: Mostly the makeup.
Tony: Abby Sciuto. NCIS resident forensic scientist. A paradox wrapped in an oxymoron surrounded by a contradiction in terms. Sleeps in a coffin. Really, the happiest Goth you'll ever meet.
McGee: (sensing the awkwardness between Tony and Ziva) And...I'm gonna go do that...after I get a Nutter Butter...
Tony: I am a white male, between the ages of 18 and 49, with a loud mouth and a gun. I am the American dream.
Tony: Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime?
Ziva: It is just a movie, Tony.
Tony: How dare you? puts down popcorn and hands Ziva a drink Is Mickey just a mouse? Ringling Brothers just a circus?
Ziva: Yes.
Tony: chuckles Well, you see, that's why you don't have any friends.
Ziva: I do have friends!
Tony: Really? Then what are you doing with me, watching a movie on a Friday night at work? Huh?
Ziva: You are my friend.
Tony: Really?
Ziva: No. My date canceled.
Tony: Mine, too. They smile and begin to watch The Black Pirate
Ziva: What is CGIS?
McGee: Coast Guard Investigative Service.
Ziva: The Coast Guard has an investigative branch?
McGee: Well, they're smaller than us, but with a wider law enforcement reach.
Ziva: But it is the Coast Guard!
Tony: Whoa, whoa. No need to get uppity. Yes, Virginia, there is a CGIS.
McGee: Now they may not have our track record, or our je nai se quoi, but they are our legitimate sibling.
Tony: Like Corky in Life Goes On.
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. bolded ones apply to me:
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be irresponsible..
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll..
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (wow look how close these two are...)
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and/or COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I love MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I don't have many FRIENDS, so I MUST be unpopular
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love pink
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I play VIDEO GAMES so I MUST be a LOSER
I like wolves so I MUST BE A WEREWOLF
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude