![]() Greetings Flesh-bags(?). I am a beautiful, majestic Northstar main of the game Titanfall 2. In my many hundreds of hours of experience, I have seen many stupid idiots try to play titans and fail horribly. It's gotten to the point where public matches, outside of a few select groups of skilled players, are too damn easy. So here are some (Ronin mains) Your silly weaboo-sticks are no match for my glorious PR0-1 Plasma Rail-gun and Elite Skills. Thus seeing the gap between our powers, I advise you locate the nearest cliff with a height of at least 200 Meters, and nuclear eject yourself of said cliff. And use your sword block! It's like, the most powerful defensive ability in the game! (Legion mains) No. Stop this stupidity. You are not, and will never be better than Northstar at sniping. So please stop embarrassing yourself, it is a terrible decision and I shall gleefully laugh at you as I blow your tiny little robotic brains out. You are fat. No amount of dieting or fasting will change the fact that you are the slowest titan in the game. And no, lightweight Alloys is about as useful as a stale fucking- potato so stop wasting your damn kit slots! (Papa Scorch mains) Good luck on Forward Base Kodai. You'll need it. A lot. (Monarch mains) FFS stop feeding batteries off my incredibly low IQ teammates and DIE ALREADY! (Tone mains) I'm honestly confused. Your particle wall is dead and gone... so why the hell are you still standing there!? (Ion mains) I swear that half of you need to take some damn budgeting lessons because your scraping the bottom of the energy barrel 10 seconds in and end up eating plasma rail-gun shots to the face(?) 90% of the time because of it. On a side note, do titans have heads? Or even faces? I mean, isn't Ion's "face" just a Giant Magical Eyeball of Laser Death 2? (Other more scrubbish Northstar mains) Please stop shooting cluster missiles at my face, it's annoying and entirely ineffective. Threat optics -The greatest method to waste your kit slot so that you can make all the bad people glow-in-the-dark. Hover is good. Now if only people would stop flying into the faces of angry Legions then you might realize it better. Northstar has Zero damage reduction ability. Let me restate this so it's clear. Northstar has ZERO damage reduction capability. Yes, tether traps are a 'defensive' ability, but they do fuck all to prevent or at least mitigate the damage taken when people decide to stop trying to terminate you and just decide to create Swiss cheese out of your body. So actually use the environment for cover and fucking move damn it! (Teammates) Teammate: Noun : 1. Meat-shield Note that I have all titans at least gen 20 with Northstar and Ronin in the lead at gen 87 and 71 respectively, so this information can be trusted and no I'm not bragging why would you think that you dimwitted plebeian i'm just providing proof that my information is trustworthy... And neither am I biased towards Northstar, nor am I a tsundere for her, shut the fuck up. Just be grateful that I have deigned the mortal populace of this filthy world worthy of my divine advice. Regardless, seeing as this is all of the wisdom I shall impart upon the masses for now, I take my leave, and wish you all good luck and goodbye! |
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