Do You Believe In the Afterlife? Chapter 1 The rain hit the pavement hard. It was the middle of a downpour. Yet, I was standing outside letting it hit my forever pale skin. Amaya Phantomhive is my dreadful and awful name. It’s the one that followed me as I died. That last moment forever in my mind. My head hurt, and I knew there was no way to escape the fate that God had sent me down here for. That’s why I’m so angry. I have been sent from heaven. Not like a guardian angel. In truth, exceedingly far from that. I was kicked out of heaven. By the big man himself. Even worse, I’m in this place that seems like Purgatory. It’s a high school. I can’t die either, some people have made that very clear to me. I have seen some people escape. All I need to do now is figure out how to leave. It doesn’t look hard to figure out. I could be sitting next to someone, and they just fade away. The rain was coming down harder now, I needed to get my mind off of the horrible past. I walked into the school, with my white hair flowing behind me, on my way to the music room down the hall. All of the NPC’s ( Non Playing Characters) passing me. This world was made of real and false human beings. If you became friends with the fake things, you would never be able to tell the difference. That’s why us humans wear a different uniform than these stupid NPC’s. I continued on my way to the music room. That song I wrote for him continued through my head. The tempo was playing over and over. I sped up, so if anyone was around.. They couldn’t see me cry. His brown eyes, his smiles, his tears, his laughter. He was still living. He was, and might still be my everything. The door was a few steps in front of me. His face still clouding my vision. I gripped the handle, slammed the door shut, and locked it. My entire body shut down right there. I hugged my knees to my chest and continued to hum the song. Soon the lyrics were pouring from me: Long before we each said goodbye, all our fights would make hate appear . I don't know why those are the days I hold dear. You taught me how to be so fearless; always pushing me further each day Saying, "You can overcome it all and find happiness along the way if you try." I'll go on alone with the pain, and I swear that I won't complain. 'Cause I'll have the dream you gave me to keep me strong just how I should be. You were once what made me happy. What I once had called my everything. But it faded and I could see, being with you was all just a dream. I once thought we always would be, and never cross the finish line. But I knew that was just a wish, of mine . I don't regret being born any longer. I have learned to cherish life, 'Cause you gave me all you had and more. Though we now move on our separate ways, without strife. Even if I am far from you, when there's more than distance between us I will pick myself up once more with the strength I have thanks to you . I'll go on alone, with the pain. Though I want to die, I'll restrain. It's your voice that I can still hear, like a light that will not disappear. Even if it's hard to move on. Even if I cannot stop my tears. My heart is warm because of you, and I'll hold that dear for all my years. Our time came and went by so fast. I now look back and make it last. I cannot recall what broke us, into pieces like inside my heart. If I close my eyes I can hear someone laughing long ago with me. To this day I've held that right here, 'Cause you're still my most precious treasure. Our time came and went by so fast. I know look back and make it last. I cannot recall what broke us, into pieces like inside my heart. Chapter 2 Sebastian Michaelis. He rescued me. I was bed ridden, and he was the butler of my younger brother Ciel. When our parents had passed away, I was not fit to be the heir. My brother had taken the responsibility on his own to take over the family business. Our mother and father were the owners of the most popular toy company Funtum Toys. The toys were a big success in England. Our home was there. A mansion. It had mural of our family on the wall. Well, anyway. Brother allowed me to live there by his side. I had my own room, and Sebastian would always be there when I was in need. One day, I had fallen out of my bed. No one was home at the time. I lie there for hours. Helpless. I knew I would die soon. The window was opened in the frame I could see the shadow of none other than Sebastian. He moved to me in an instant. He knew I would not make it. My thread of life was shortening by the second. He stared at me with his brown eyes now a glowing red. “My dear. Would you like to become a demon? Return with me, and live life. You will never be helpless again.” In that instant, my life began. He bit my hand, and my brown hair changed to the white of a piece of paper. Ciel learned of my sickness healing, and my life continued. Until, we met Death. Himself. He stood there, and spoke in his cruel voice. “Demons are pitied. One must die.” I knew I could not live without Sebastian. I offered myself, and before I knew it. Blood poured from me. The last image I saw was a tear roll down from Sebastian’s face. It fell onto my now cold face, and then the world stopped. The pain was excruciating. I was dead. But, I had no regrets. That last moment made me new. He has restarted my life, and ended it all in peace. When I was (surprisingly) sent to heaven, I was reunited with my family yet again. Mother and Father were there waiting for me. All was well. Yeah right. As I was getting closer to mother and father, their faces were drenched in terror. My excitement receded. I could never be who I once was. Never their precious little girl. I was a cold blooded killer that would devour souls. I was not to be pitied, for I chose this fate of red and black. Darkness was what I picked, then how did I end up here? Was God giving me another chance with my family? I really appreciate his offer, but they didn’t seem thrilled about seeing me again. Maybe, if I was Ciel they would have been happier. He had dealt his soul to Sebastian, but he was still human. When he would come here, their entire being (spirit or otherwise) would be filled with joy. But not for me. I was evil, and I’m pretty sure they were watching me grow up from here. If I never made that deal, would it be possible for me to still be helpless? Would I appear in this second life in a bed? Mother and father should’ve been happy to see me on my legs again. I was not always unable to move around. When I was a child, I could roam around freely, and play with my parents and my little brother. Ciel was always determined for him and I to live together forever, and become the biggest toy company in the world. This was all before the fire, and our determined butler. Our manor was burnt to the ground. It was not a mere candle flaring around. Someone had burnt them alive. We were saved by none other than Sebastian. In the process the burning pieces would threaten us, and would protect Ciel. I wrapped my arms around him to keep him from the debris falling from above. Before I knew it, I could not move. I tried to move a little bit, but my body forbids it. Then, I was crying. Ciel turned and held onto me tightly. I was the worst big sister. My little brother was going to die, as was I. The tears poured from inside me, like saltwater was what I was made of. In an instant, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It must have been some of the debris on me again. I didn’t let it bother me. I tightened my grip on Ciel, when we were both picked up by a dark figure. When I looked up, we were out of the house safely. He put us down, and Ciel crawled out, and I lie there motionless. Nothing would move. My body was in permanent shock. All I could move was my head. I continued crying. “Thank you...So much...Sir.” My body then went into a coma. I was in that state for around one year. All seemed lost. That’s when in my dream state, I saw a white light. It had mother and father inside waiting for me. I could not go. My life was here with Ciel. That’s when I knew I had to wake up. I shot up in my bed, and there was a man there with golden eyes like my own, and a school uniform it seemed. He sat there smiling at me. “Good morning Amaya.” His words so gentle and carefree. That was all I could remember about him. I believe that there was more I should remember about him, more memories, but I don’t remember much about him. My memory was overflowing with my family, Ciel, and Sebastian. Is that normal? I was now alone in my dormitory. Sebastian had dealt with the Yuki girl, and sent me here. My head still throbbed. My room was so silent. All I could see was the flashes of past images in my mind. That man with the violet eyes. He would always appear in these images. There had to be something more about him. All I had to do was remember his name. In truth, I could use the internet to show me more about him. What was his name? I had to think as hard as I possibly could now. It didn’t matter how much my head was in pain at this time. All I needed was my memory. I put my hands into fists, and put them on my temples. There was a burning running through skull. My head went numb. Soon I was on the ground in a ball. I could feel the intense pain. It grew stronger the longer I lay there. Then a flash. It appeared like a movie. All of my memories. There was the silver haired boy. He had sent a baseball flying through my window. Sebastian allowed him up to show him me. Every day that I was in that coma, he was at my side. He would watch and wait to apologize. Although my eyes were closed, I could hear him whisper sweet things to me. He would sleep there, by my bedside. He only left to bathe, or eat. He was there even more than Sebastian. They both were there more than Ciel. My life went in circles due to them. The morning I awoke. “Good morning Amaya.” He looked at me. Who was he? “Hello?” my voice shaky. Sebastian ran into the room to me and pulled me into a hug. “Thank God! We thought you were gone!” his hot tears running down my arm. Why was he crying? He had to keep appearances. He let go of me, seeming perfectly at ease and left. Just me alone with this strange man. He stared at me. “Who are you?” my words were coming out in a strange tone. As if, I was in the process of losing my voice. He seemed puzzled by the question. I pulled the blankets over me, some more, and felt more nervous. “Oh... I’m Zero Kiryu. My friend Mikado and I were playing baseball nearby, and the ball hit through your window.” This confused me; a baseball field was not within miles of here. “There are no baseball fields around here.” This frightened me even more. He sighed. “Promise not to get mad or laugh…” I nodded slowly. “Mikado and I were walking, and we saw this mansion. We heard it had got burnt, and rebuilt. Well, Mikado had also seen you in a wheelchair. He told me about you, and wanted me to meet you. So, he threw a baseball in the window he always sees that butler in, and poof! Here I am.” He had a cocky smile on his face. I couldn’t believe he would really do that just to meet me. I blushed, as did he. “W-well, it’s nice to meet you Kiryu-kun.” He nodded. After that awkward moment, our relationship progressed. In a great deal. Every day, at around nine in the morning, too late at night, he would be at the manor. Before I knew it, I loved him. Each day, the pain in my heart grew. He could never love someone who cannot even move. I could only look at him, and speak friendly. I could not even wash myself. I was full of road blocks, which I could never again overcome. I felt more depressed each and every day he would visit. This was every day. On the day before I ad that near death experience, he was holding me by my shoulders to keep me sturdy on a chair while he brushed my hair. He said he had something to tell me. He was going on a trip to America for one year. He earned a scholarship to a school about mythological creature. He was a vampire. I acted as if I did not know. I felt dead inside when he told me. My world had slowed its rotating. I replied with something I would regret. “You want to leave me so fast?” it came out cold. His hand stopped in the middle of my hair. He was shaking with fury. “I’m sorry… I’m just upset. I’ve been hoping for a friend it’s one of my biggest wishes.” He then asked, “What are the others?” I paused. There was only one more, and it would never, and will never happen. “To be married. But, nobody would marry someone as useless as me.” He stopped his shaking and turned me around. I was staring at his face clearly now. “I would marry you. I will marry you,” he got on one knee and took off his favorite ring he told me about, “Will you marry me?” I saw myself about to answer, when I was taken from my memories. I opened my eyes, to see Sebastian in front of me now. He was holding me up off the floor. “You found your memories didn’t you?” I nodded slowly in reply. He put me down. “How could you betray me? I took them from you to-“he was cut off by the intercom. “Amaya Phantomhive report to the principal’s office.” It went off quickly, and I made my escape. I ran from my dorm to the main building. My head still overflowing with my memories. I made it to the office door and slammed it open to see a man with black hair in glasses waiting for me. “I am William Spears. I would like you to return to earth as a Shinigami. You will be altered before you return.” He was staring at me as I was letting this information sink into me. When he said altered… Did he mean surgically? “Would I still keep my memories?” I asked. He nodded. I should accept it. Start off on a new life. I can give up my memories. I can pick my own destiny. “I accept.” William moved closer to me and put a hand to my forehead. “You are the Shinigami of Red. Grell Sutcliff. You may choose to remember everything or start fresh. You will be aged to the age of at least 21. Please take this chainsaw, and kill whom ever does not appear to be a peaceful spirit.” This sounded like the perfect life for me. “I choose for you take away all my memories. Please.” He smiled at me with his jagged toothy smile. “Good Choice.” My eyes closed, and I drifted off to sleep. Chapter 3 “Where am I?” I sat up on the pure white floor. My red hair falling past my knees, my long red trench coat, my chainsaw. That followed by my yellow eyes, and my glasses. I was the demon of red. My favorite color. The color of my favorite thing in the entire world. Blood. The scent is intoxicating. The scene was something to marvel at. Why couldn’t the world just be smeared in it? Cover it all and paint it red. I sighed. Oh, the hope I had for that dream. I also dreamt of finding love. I needed someone to run too, and tell about my murders each and every night. Well, they aren’t really murders. It’s me ridding the world of idiots, trash, and scum daily. It makes the world a better place. That’s not why I love my job. It has to be the blood, and the beauty I have. I have always loved my young beauty. I had recently turned twenty one. My looks, just added to the fun. I went out on my own hunting the evil spirits that night. Just me and my gorgeous chainsaw. Everynight should be like that. Not me walking around town, feeling attachment to England. For Goddsake! I was Japanese! Well, in my cover story. In truth I was born in the demonic area Dark Alley. It was in between the underworld and the land of the living. Where I currently was standing. In the middle of London, England. It was winter now, yet no matter how cold it got I did not need any more warmth. I could feel everything just fine, but I wondered what it felt like to really feel cold. My body did not feel temperature, I could barely feel touch either. I was the first one to find out how to control my feelings. If I wanted to I could turn them off completely. I watched some children run past me, hysterically laughing. One slpped, and I offered him a hand, but he just laughed and ran away. I chased the boy down the street with his friends. We were playing a little game. I chased them so far I had no idea where I had ended up. I looked up and saw a small grave yard next to an enormous manor. I wanted to show my respects to the souls who had lived there. I walked into the little graveyard and there were three headstones. The First read “Raven Phantomhive. Beloved Mother.” The next read “Otonashi Phantomhive. Beloved Father.” They had each died in the year 1998. The next headstone had fresh flowers near it. It read “Amaya Phantomhive. My Beloved and Amazing Sister.” There was a photo of her. She appeared bed ridden, and unable to move. I made a flower with my power and left it there. That’s when I heard a gun being pulled out behind me. I turned around slowly to see a tall being with black hair, brown eyes, and the appearance as if he were hurt emotionally. “You there. I do not believe the master has given you permission to enter his territory.” I looked at the figure. I could not see much detail of his face, but he was a slim, tall human. Wait. I did not sense him to be human. This scent was defenitely not that of a normal meat sack. He was a demon. And a rare one at that. A Pureblood. I smirked at him, “I was just paying my respects. I apologize for intruding.” I stood, and bowed. I started to walk away, when his hand gripped my shoulder. “I did not tell you that you had permission to leave did I? You are on Phantomhive property, and I shall be kind enough to invite you inside.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me alongside him to the manor just up the drive. It had many rooms, but very few of them lit. Thunder clapped behind us, and I jumped to the man. He glared at me in response. “S-sorry.” Was all I managed to say. He scoffed and continued pulling me. I felt like a dog. There was no way that I would be treated like this, especially by a man. I pulled from his grip. “ I don’t know who you think you are! I am a lady and you will treat me as such! I am not dirt! Learn your manners!” I was breathing hard now. I wasted a lot of energy screaming at him. He stared at me in awe. “Is there something I can help you with?” my words were cold, just as I had planned. He shook his head. “Then I shall be on my way. Good afternoon, sir. Send my condolences to your master.” I turned on my heel and walked back towards where I believe I came from. He again grabbed me. “I am not some-!” I was about to snap on him when he interrupted me by saying, “You just reminded me, Sebastian, of the young lord’s deceased sister.” I felt guilt in the pit of my stomach. I yelled at a man for bring back painful memories. I felt tears form in my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I pulled him into a hug. I don’t think he knew how to react to that. He stood there motionless for a moment, then accepted my embrace. He was much taller than I. My face was inside his chest. I didn’t really care at that moment. I needed to make him be happy if only for a little while. I let hm go slowly, and said “I will meet your master if that is what you wish.” He smiled at me, and I followed him yet again. We came past a Japanese stone garden. It was marvelous in its own way. In my home, I should create one of my own. That was something to put in the checklist of my mind. But, this man, he was beautiful. He seemed not much older than myself. He looked as if he had never been scarred or bruised. Well, at least physically. He had been hurt emotionally, and it was bad. I should find out more about him. I feel the need to help solve his problems. The front door came into view, and he held it open for me. I graciously accepted, and walked into the enormous front entryway. It had the biggest pure diamond chandelier that I had ever seen. It was a wonderland. Even though, there was not the slightest bit of red in it. I started to spin in circles, my hair and coat spreading open like a beautiful japanese fan. The door shut, and I knew he was watching. I didn’t care anymore. My entire life, I have been mocked for my looks. Who really gives a damn anymore? I smiled, until I ran into Sebastian. I gasped as he caught me. His iron grip. Was he really that strong? I didn’t notice it at first. But, I was filled with rage at the time. Why would I care before? I saw him smile at me, and my face filled with flush. I knew he was so far away from me. He was a demon butler after all. I was just a measely shinigami. I had to think of him as a person I just met. Why was I so attached to him in the first place? We had just met outside. “Thank you for catching me.” I moved from him and bowed. He bowed to me. “I am simply one hell of a butler. Do not bow to me. You are our guest.” I stood awkwardly and stared at him. He could tell I was a shinigami. It was a given with a demon. Why did he not dispise me? We were sworn enemies, every since ancient times. It was decided long before our births. He was standing now, and a flash of lightning went across the sky. In truth, I hated storms. Only, I was attached to the rain. But, I was absolutely terrified of thunder and lightning. Weak, right? I knew this, and yet nobody in my rankings knew about it. Sebastian spoke lightly to me, “You must stay the night. It’s too dark for you to head home.” It shook me out of my own thoughts. I nodded. “Only if it’s not troublesome.” He chuckled softly. “No trouble at all. You can stay in the yound misstresses old room.” Was his master a female? “Okay..” my voice trailing off in the end. He started up the stairs, me following behind. We passed an enormous mural of a family. There was a mother with dark green hair, a father with a dark auburn color hair, the young boy had green hair like his mother, then there was a girl. She was asleep in a bed with an oxygen mask on her face. She was so different from the rest. She had light brown hair, and she looked like a sickly child. I pitied her. We continued up the stair case, to another giant hallway. At the end there was a room, with flowers at the entrance. He brought me to that one, and opened the door slightly, to show many machines put off in the corner, and a boy crying at the edge of the bed. I stepped over the flowers and watched the boy closely. He seemed deeply hurt by his sister’s death. They must have been close. I knelt behind him, and put an arm on his back. He looked to me, his face absolutely terrified, and tear stained. “She loved you very much. I don’t know what it is, but I have an intese feeling, that, that’s what it was here.” I smled warmly, and he hugged me close. “You have returned home.” I stopped our moment, and stared at him with a confused look, “Excuse me?” He smiled. The smile looked as if it grew, his skin would tear. “My sister… You have returned.” I stood up quickly, and backed away. Was he crazy? We just met. The butler was smiling as well. Is this a setup from William again? My teeth came to a point, and my heart race sped up. “William sent you.. Why?” I smirked at them, and they both stared at me confused. They were completely lost. Now, I was confused. My teeth returned to normal. I needed to sit for a moment. I sat on the lege of the window behind me. “I-I can’t be your s-sister… I’m a s-shinigami.” I couldn’t look at them now. It was all too painful. Why was I feeling this way towards complete strangers? Sebastian came up and looked at my left hand. The one with the strange symbol, that never washed away. “This is all the proof that we need.” He lifted my hand to his right hand, and the markings that I had… he had also. “No! I’m not going back! I’m happy now!” a voice from within me screamed. It did not sound like my voice though. I had a much lower tone. It was something I had never heard. I started to cry. “I’m s-sorry… I’m not who you are l-looking for…” My voice now normal again. What happened? Was it all in my head? Sebastian backed away. “My apologes miss. Please sleep here for the night.” Him and his master left the room. I got up, slightly shaking from the entire incident. I was only one shinigami. I can’t do everything. I went to the closet to find nightwear. All of it was dull, and gray. I used my shinigami power to change one to a red dress with black lace to my knees. I made a robe for the morning. My entire mind and body ached. What a crazy day. Crazier than usual. I lay down on the bed lightly, and stared at the ceiling. I put my glasses on the bedside table, and realized, I needed to put my hair up. It was immpolite not to in a house that is unknown. I brought out my ribbon from my vest pocket, and tie it lightly around my hair. The crimson hair going into a a ponytail now reaching my mid-thigh. It didn’t bring my hair up much, but it moved it out of my way. I return to where I lay, and again stare at the ceiling. I was a small creature in a giant ocean. Nothing could save me from the panic of flailing to land. Cry me a river. I need more guts to survive this world. I can’t allow more of this feeling to escape. Sadness is not in my job description. Also, William would murder me if he saw my behavior today. He would take away my precious chainsaw first. Maybe even destroy it. I had to leave. But, Sebastian would notice if I were to get up and leave. He had the keenest of senses. It was so great, that it irritated me. I kept thinking these things over and over, until I eventually drifted off to slumber. Chapter 4 “How alive are you really?” I asked Sebastian, as he lay breakfast in front of me. The boy had not awoken yet. So, I was alone with the strong and able butler. I needed information. Now. |