![]() Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter. Hello, world. How are you today? Lately, I've been noticing more and more Mary Sue fics cropping up around the archives, and I wondered, what could possibly lead so many people with absolutely no regard for grammar, spelling, or the general expectations of fictional writing, whom one can tell hate school, or, in the very least, English class, who most likely rarely pick up a half-decent book with a target audience above the age of seven, and who seem to have no concept of plot development, to write a serious fanfiction. Now, I understand that I may seem rude; they're probably trying their best, er... trying... to some minute degree... to produce an entertaining and interesting literary work. Sadly, they are failing. However, I just can't get the thought of a Mary Sue to leave me alone. First of all, why would someone write a fanfiction simply to insert themselves into the story, and especially under an alias? It just doesn't make any sense to me. It's like putting a prolonged wet dream on paper and spamming it all over the internet. What possesses people to share their innermost desires? Secondly, why are Mary Sues so perfect? Are the authors' lives really so pitiable that they feel that the only outlet that they have left to them is to create a perfect representation of the person they wish they could be and more, and then to piss everybody off - ehem, excuse me, 'make everybody crazy jealous' - with their existence? Thirdly, what purpose does the Mary Sue serve when all that ever happens in the story seems to be that the Sue takes the main character's job and does it ten times better, then ends up dating either the main character, his sexy arch-rival, or a multitude of enticing characters of both genders? I'm a fervent gay rights advocate, but there's no reason to make a self-insert character a bi whore when the author herself is not one. Why do people rewrite the whole series, along with its rules and storyline, just to fit themselves in when they could just as easily write their own original fiction. I have come to a startling conclusion: I am addicted to Mary Sues!! I can't go to rehab... please! Please, you can't send me back to that place! -SS falls to the floor, trembling, tears rolling down her cheeks- You don't know... you can't imagine the horrors... What's that, you say? There's hope? You're right, how could I have forgotten: satire is the cure to all earthly ailments. I shall begin treatment immediately, just... please, not rehab... Tara Gilesbie: Supertard or Unfathomable Genius? We My Immortal fans fell for the bait of a troll hook, line, and sinker, and we gave this girl exactly what she wanted: attention. If you haven't read My Immortal, I suggest that you immediately go and enlighten yourself; while the failure to comply with the rules of common decency in accordance to grammar may significantly decrease your faith in mankind while significantly increasing your chances to develop epilepsy, it is worth your time. There was once a time when Tara's story was still hosted here on FF.net, and it had - and still has - garnered more reviews than any other fanfiction ever posted, most of them flames, a few of them contemptuous professions of false exaltation. Maybe she really is the biggest idiot that ever lived, but I like to think that she was the most brilliant person to ever happen across this website. With the smallest amount of effort she could muster and the satirical wisdom of a thousand lifetimes, she crafted a horrendous tale of 'mastication' and 'goffik old men on broomsticks' and gained the mixed hatred and respect of thousands of readers worldwide. I reiterate: look into it. You won't be disappointed. My Immortal quotes: Dumbledore (to Draco and Ebony/Enoby): "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS?!" Voldemort: "Ebony, what art thou doing? Thou must kill Vampire [Harry] Potter!" -hands over a gun- Tara (to her reviewers): "AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!" Ebony Dark'Ness Dementia Raven Way and Draco Malfoy: “'Its so unfair!' I yielded. 'Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B’loody Mary, because she’s not ugly or anything.' 'Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.' answered Draco. 'Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he’s in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?' I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory enoby isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) 'Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!' I shouted and then I ran away." LOLOLOLOL have a good day. :) |
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