![]() 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .HR I'll give you proof that I am perfect: I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy paste this in your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile. If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. Doing homework sucks. Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree. 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.(Why wait that long?) 2) Thou shall not do drugs.(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection) 4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.(Destruction has a bigger effect) 5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.(Everyone knows grandma has more money) 6) Thou shall not get into fights.(Just start them) 7) Thou shall not skip class.(Just take the whole day off) 8) Thou shall not strip in class.(Hooters pays more) 9) Thou shall not think about having sex.(like Nike says, "Just do it") 10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.(Just leave ‘em in the middle) I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents as you do." 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. " 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." And my favorite: 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you". FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (the country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Crazy-Monkey13 (USA), Hullop (USA), Mayonaka Naze (Dominican Republic), RUHLSAR000 (USA) PotterAnimeJackson(Canada), Mermaid-Luchia(Australia), Jostanos (USA), TheBlackSeaReaper (Bermuda), sakurademonalchemist (USA), lokinorsedeity (USA), hiaiden2 (USA), |
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