![]() Girl Comebacks! Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together. Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing. Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell. Girls, copy and paste this on your profile. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces. Newt's going to be a little amused to see the sheer number of OC girlfriends he's got. 9 Things I Hate About People 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my pants when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Dang right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5. When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid 12 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the floor... 6. When people who ask, 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8. When people say 'life is short'. What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here? - "I changed my password to 'incorrect', so whenever I forget it my computer will say: you're password is incorrect." - "The 'earth' without 'art' is just 'eh'." - "I think that school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes." Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile. FAV MOTTOS AND QUOTES: When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.- somewhere on the internet "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons, until they give you the oranges you originally asked for" -Jace Herondale, Mortal Instruments "To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed" -Jace Herondale, Mortal Instruments "As long as I remember what it was like to love you, I'll always feel like I'm alive" -Jace Herondale, Mortal Instruments "It's the Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl" -Isabelle Lightwood, Mortal Instruments "I love you, and I'll love you until I die, and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then" -Jace Herondale, Mortal Instruments "You can have the joy of reading the stories of incredible happenings, or you can be part of the story" -Magnus Bane, Mortal Instruments "She supposed they were imperfections, those Marks, but they didn't feel that way to her; they were a history, carved into his body: a map of a life of endless war" -The Mortal Instruments "I prefer to think that I'm a liar in a way that's uniquely my own" -Jace Herondale, Mortal Instruments "Shadowhunters, looking better in black than the widows of our enemies since 1234" -Mortal Instruments "One must always be careful with books and what is inside them, for words have to power to change us" -Tessa Gray, Infernal Devices "We are all the pieces of what we remember. We hold ourselves in the hopes and fears of those who love us. As long as there is love and memory, there is no true loss." -Mortal Instruments "Most people think that to live is to breathe, or to not die. But it's not. That's surviving. To live is to see the things you want to see, to do the things you want to do, to reach for goals. To live life at the fullest. So I don't know about you, but I don't want to just survive. I want to live" -Me. I dunno if anyone has come up with this yet or not, but I like it, anyway. "My problem isn't that my favourite fictional characters aren't real; it's that I'm not fictional. I don't want them to be real. What I desperately wish is that I could be fictional with them. It's not that I want them here with me in this mundane and ordinary world; it's that I wasn't to join them in their extraordinary one." -Unknown. I wish I knew who wrote this...it's so TRUE. "Listen to the rhyme of the falling rain" -Unknown author "I said never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn't apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn't say sorry for falling. Feelings just are." -Iain S. Thomas "You wonder why I don't talk to you anymore, please believe me when I say its not that I don't want to. its just that everything I want to say. I can't tell you anymore." -Unknown author "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"- Unknown author "Anyone who thinks that sunshine is pure happiness, has never danced in the rain" -Unknown author "There's only one way to succeed at anything and that is to give it everything." -Vince Lombardi "When life gives you a chance, take it. Don't be afraid to make a mistake, and never give up no matter ho much faith you've lost. Because life is full of surprises. Keep a smile on your face and don't show your disappointment. And when your heart starts racing. All you need to do is, take a moment, and forget about everyone. Let it ride." -Unknown author "There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say watch me." -Unknown author Sometimes people build walls not to shut people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. -Socrates I will post more of my favorite quotes sometime later since I'm hungry and me want food. This is really sweet... When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her." If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere. So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity. Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress. |
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