cookie stealing kitty
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Joined 01-03-13, id: 4458985, Profile Updated: 09-06-13

Hi everyone whats up???

Pen Name: cookie stealing kitty ( i luv kitties)

About me: I tend to be a nice person to people and being overly optimistic to the people i don't like because it bugs them( seriously its worth it, hehe i'm evil :P). I love reading fanfiction but i haven't written anything. I have a few ideas for some fanfics so I might be posting some stories some time soon, hopefully... Anyways on with this... :D

Like...

reading, playing random video games at random times, a plethora of different fandoms(rise of the guardians, 9, dbz, spirited away, How to train your dragon, megamind, howl's moving castle, legend of zelda ocarina of time, mulan, cloudy with a chance of meatballs, treasure planet, dr who, and probably some more that i just don't remember right now)!!!:D, hanging out with my friends, coldplay, OneRepublic, and a bunch of other things...

oh oh oh and LAUGHING and i especially like reading good, well-written fanfictions!!!:P

Dislikes...

pink eww i mean pink is somewhat tolerable as long as its not hot pink ( though the exception has to be P!nk the singer)

bitchy, annoying people who think that they are the best thing in the world( seriously these type of people should get ran over by a bus or something )

Ganondork, Zeniba, azula, dark link, and many others that don't even deserve to be remembered,

Yay!!! now i get to put copy and paste stuff!:D

I pledge allegiance to the Internet and to the principle of end-to-end connectivity for which it stands. One network, under construction, with liberty and access for all.

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying, "you will die in seven days".

A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying "Man, that was fun!"

Good friends will share their umbrella. Best friends will take yours and say "RUN, BEEP, RUN"

Good friends will wipe your tears when you're rejected. Best friends will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

Diamonds are precious and so are pearls, but nothing is better then me and my girls.

Enemies stab you in front, friends stab you in the back, boy stab you in the heart, but best friends are there to stab those meanies right back.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

Don't be mean to nerds. One day you'll end up working for one.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

The evening news is where they say "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you that it isn't one.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when its weird.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, be proud. You’re now mass-produced.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one you are not alone.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist, if you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, get a life!

If several inanimate objects hate you join my club. We all hate desks, tress, chairs, benches, and other wood stuffs.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't quite know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good.

If you truly believe there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you get real. He is mine!

If you are a person who acts friendly but who has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, join the fun.

If you support the "Make Edward change Bella into a vampire" club let’s have fun.

If you haven't died yet, join the living for a party.

Runtime error 6D at 417A:32CF: incompetent user.

The world is coming to an end. Please log off.

It said: "For Windows 95 or better" but it wouldn't work on my Linux.

If it happens once, it's a bug. If it happens twice, it's a feature. If it happens more than twice, it's design philosophy.

A penny saved is a penny taxed.

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

It's a catastrophic success!

I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.

Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it eventually kills all its pupils...

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

-"I'm going to try to be me, whoever that is..."

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how gorgeous Edward Cullen because you don't want said gorgeous Edward Cullen to hear, copy onto profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball, try and find them. They’re waiting for you.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Mina the Mischevious, SnowNeko, Pink Hi-Lighter, pointy star, Bruce n' Charlie, naru-chan-13, oriaglorial, gothgirl-narutofan, Blue Fire Lily, cookie stealing kitty

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Barney is a overgrown, gay, purple, extinct, baby singer, dinosaur and a crack addiect. Copy and past this on your profile

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

(/)_(/)
(='.'=) Bunny!
(")_(")

FOR ALL THOSE WHO ADMIT TO BEING WEIRD AND ARE PROUD OF IT, COPY AND PASTE THE RABBIT ONTO YOUR PROFILES! ALL HAIL THOSE WHO ARE PROUD TO BE DIFFERENT!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. ( seriously guys why would you be proud to be clean )

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

()()
(0.0)Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side we have cookies ( they lied they don't have cookies )

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read that please put it in your profile. OH MY GOD I CAN READ!

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. (lol that was me last week!!!XD)

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile. Seriously my feet seem to hate obeying sometimes! They're so rebellious sometimes

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. It's true i tell you

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. To many times to count!

If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have never watched Heroes, 24, The O.C., Grey's Anatomy, or any of that stuff, and are sickened by those who do, please copy & paste this into your profile.

If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, BlackwolfJaganshilover, Shadowess 88, Bluefirelily, cookie stealing kitty

If you love gazing out at the stars and the moon, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you or your best friend(s) is insane,copy this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen copy and paste this onto your profile

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever considered murdering someone and actually found yourself plotting their demise copy this to your profile(Hey at one point i think we all do this)

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

A POEM ON CHILD ABUSE! PLZ PASS IT ON!

My name is Tiffany I am three,

My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up All day long

. When im awake im all alone

The house is dark My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall

I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me And yells at me more,

I finally get free And run to the door

He’s already locked it And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late

His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain Again and again

O please God, have mercy! O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany I am three,

Tonight my daddy Murdered me

And you can help Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be One heartless person

To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected,

Do something about it! So all i ask you to do Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a t-shirt that barely cover anything?

Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone are you laughing?

Isn't it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing.

IT'S SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OR LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS.

KEEP ON LAUGHING

Isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE!

BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND

BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MONDAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WORLD AROUND YOU IS SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES

IT'S LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT

IT'S GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET

IT'S KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE

IT'S ANOTHER DAY OF COMPLAINING AND DODGING RUMORS KEEP ON LAUGHING.

if you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. haha i love these things

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. i've done this so many times.. the good times...

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

/l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your profile to help him gain world domination. Seriously you gotta luv them fluffy kitties

Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left. (its soo true)

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

:Quotes:


If at first you don’t succeed...Cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie. ( life lesson: even if you get caught and they have evidence deny deny deny)

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

You wouldn't backsass me so much if I could summon wolves!

The Force is like duct tape, it had a light and dark side, and binds the universe together.

The word for love in one language is the word for dinner in another.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

When life gives you lemons, made grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And go find someone who's life has given them vodka, and have a party.

When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and shove your fist in their face.

Yo Momma is so fat, even Naruto doesn't believe it!

Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?


I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux, Aintzane411, BillieMaysSaysKaboom,Nuns N' Bagels, Damon.x.Baird.x, ita-chan01, xGhostx, NoMoreLeftForUsAll AliceWayland24, NightShadow17, Hanyou-Kyo, Ratt9, Lady Eval, cookie stealing kitty


I, cookie stealing kitty, do solemnly swear to review all the fanfics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else. I have joined the Review Revolution. seriously i need to start doing this!!!

Copy and Paste this into your profile to join the Revolution and spread the love...

Two reasons why guys are better than girls:

1. Guys don't mind wearing the same thing twice in one week.

2. Guys can pee standing up.

Two reasons why girls are better than guys:

1. Girls don't need to sniff their clothes to know if they're clean.

2. Girls never miss the toilet.

Ever wonder what happens to those people who mysteriously stop updating?

It is a known fact that 94% of people who mysteriously stop updating have been eaten by dragons. The other 6% are hiding in their bathtubs with a fire extinguisher.

If you believe this is true, copy this and post your name here after all the other names- Qille, cookie stealing kitty


50 Ways to get Kicked out of Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.

12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right darn it!!" Make a scene.

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

26. Climb things.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and say you don't get out much and ask them to put a little umbrella in it.


On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with head colds off fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On artificial bacon:
Real artificial bacon bits.
(we don't get fake fake bacon. we get real fake bacon.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a birthday card for a 1 year old:
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
(There goes 12 months.)

Sign at a railroad station:
Beware: To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
(Court of zombies...?)

On a bottle of bathtub cleaner
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
(D: so I should use a different cleaner first?)

On a bottle of Muscle Milk:
Warning: contains no milk
(what a rip off)


Blondes Special Licnese

There was a blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please."

"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling.

"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a license."

To which the driver reached into her purse and handed him her license. Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."

She pointed to the bottom of the license and said, "Can you see this?? It says so right here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."

'Blondes Are Not Stupid' Convention

80,000 blondes are gathered for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "18!" Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "90?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "4?". Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream ... Give her another chance! Give her another chance!


93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If your part of the 7 percent that would ask the person "what was your first clue?" copy this onto your profile then add your name to the list:Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A, Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A.,Evil Genus of the C.O.C.A., Invador Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, BellaBookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Spottedlilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.for.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid Cliche, rainxface, maximumride24,FangsGirl24601, A Silenced Angel, UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND. CrazyNerdyFangirl, ColorTheSky, GodsHelperServent, Qille, cookie stealing kitty


Help me color the sky.

I'm that girl who cries without anyone seeing it.

I'm that girl who hurts herself without anyone knowing it.

I'm that girl who is smiles but is hurting inside.

I'm that girl who guides but doesn't know what's right.

I'm that girl who shines but doesn't glow in the dark.

I'm that girl who's kind but never feels the mark.

I'm that girl who'd fight for someone else's rights.

But I'm also that girl who can't sleep at night.

Outside I'm pretty, I'm glowing, I'm strong.

But inside, I'm hurting, knowing I don't belong.

I think of that weight that just hangs above me,

Dropping onto my shoulders ever so slowly.

I don't fight it, I don't struggle,

I just hold it up.

The force on my shoulders,

I'm begging it to stop.

But I just hold it together,

And keep the smile on my face.

Just hoping that one day,

Someone can take my place.

Help me take that burden off her shoulders, Look past the barriers and help me get hold of her. Take my hand and it'll weigh no more, For us girls together, can be stronger than before.

9 out of 10 teenage girls suffer from peer pressure, verbal and/or physical abuse, and stereotyping. If you believe in the power of women and girls like us, and if you believe we can overcome this issue together hand in hand, post this onto your profile and add your name to the list: ColorTheSky, GodsHelperServent, Qille, cookie stealing kitty

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For every question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: The Harold Song by KeSha (Umm.. ok)

Waking Up: I gotta a feeling by the Black Eyed Peas (Oh wow that actual fits :P)

First Day of School: You and I by Ingrid Michaelson (I guess...)

Falling In Love: True Love by KeSha (Perfect... that fits haha)

Fight Song: Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World (it makes sense if you don't think about it)

Breaking Up: Love the way you lie part 2 by Rihanna (Wow i think my ipod is somehow learning telepathy)

Prom Night: Rumor has it by Adele (meh i guess)

Life: How to save a life by the Fray (OMG PERFECT this makes so much sense for me because i wanna be a doctorXD)

Mental Breakdown: No One by Alicia Keys (OK.. haha thats a sideways person :P)

Driving: Backstabber by KeSha (I hope not, that would not be good at all... seriously i think my ipod likes kesha today)

Flashback: Somebody's me by Enrique Iglesias (D; so true sometimes)

Getting Back Together: BAD by Michael Jackson (lol it would have been so hilarious if it would have been we're never getting back together by taylor swift but i don't have that in my ipod)

Wedding: Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's (Aww my favorite song)

Birth of a Child: Bed rock by Young Money (ROFL that makes sense in a way i guess)

Final Battle: Replay by Lyaz (um...)

Funeral Song: Who Knew by P!nk (i guess)

Final Credits: Do you remember by Jack Johnson (lol that actually works XD)


FRIENDSHIP

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a squirrel with rabies.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use littler words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well. Again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you.

9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend.'


95% of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on a 100 foot building about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are one of the 5% who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "JUMP IDIOTS, JUMP!!" (I'd also be taking photos for those unfourtunate enough to miss the whole thing...)

97% of all teens would go into panic if they saw Robert Pattinson on a 100 foot building about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are one of the 3% who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "DO A FLIP!!" (Wouldn't take photo's... too lame. GRAB THE VIDEO CAMERA!!!!!!)

A Dad's Poem

Her hair was up in a ponytail, and her favorite dress was tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. Each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, she smiled up at her Mom, And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so.

"He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him; I'm not standing here alone.

"'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart. I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart." With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far...

"You see he was a fireman and died just this past year. When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away." And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother’s amazement, she witnessed with surprise; A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far. ‘They’ say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

D; this made me cry its so sad but the little girl is so brave...

An apple an day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If at first you don't suceed, skydiving isn't for you.

Change is inevitable... Except from a vending machine.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

Join the dark side, we have cookies.

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?

Come to the light side, we have PUDDING!

Welcome to the light side, hehe, sorry, but we ran out of pudding...

I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep.

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Some say the glass is half empty, others half full, all's I want to know is who the Dark Forest is drinking my water!

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid...

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Hmm...I wonder...

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand for chocolate!

There are three types of people; those who can count, and those who cant.

History lesson: Dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Last night I lay in bed and look at the sky, and thought: I'm too old for glow in the dark stickers.

The only reason why I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never been caught.

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

VERY FEW PERSONAL PROBLEMS CAN'T BE SOLVED THROUGH THE SUBTLE APPLICATION OF HIGH EXPLOSIVES!

Taste the rainbow- eat crayons.

There are three types of people, those who can count and those who can't.

I ran with scissors- AND LIVED!

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy off of.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idioit- some part are missing.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

I see regular people- RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Conciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A secret admirer is only a stalker with a stationary.

If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.

You say phsyco like it's a bad thing...

Stupidity killed the cat, curiousity was framed.

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so fun to watch fall down stairs.

I find 'good morning' a contradiciton of terms.

What happens if someone is scared to death twice?? Hmmm I wonder...

CUTE BUT PHSYCO- THINGS EVEN OUT.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.

Hell issued a restraining order on me... Oh the fun to be had!

You're just jealous that the voices only talk to me.

What you might call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the court next to me.

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience; "Come on skittles, give me red... LEMON DARNIT!"

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES... IT PISSES THEM OFF.

I'm not so good with the advice, can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

The voices in my head may not be real, but they sure have good ideas...

Ooops! Did my sacasm hurt your feelings?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

One day we'll look back on this, laugh nevously, and change the subject.

I intend to live forever... So far so good.

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again.

Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you.

Embrace your inner rebel; DON"T SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!

You're awesome! But when the zombies come, I'm tripping you.

I'M NOT WEIRD... JUST PLOTTING...

I don't obsess, I think intensly.

Smile; it makes others wonder what you're up to.

When I go, I want to die peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep- not screaming in absolute terror, like the passengers in his car.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never triend to slam a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

IT HAPPENS... BUT MOSTLY TO ME, SO DON'T WORRY.

You mess with me, you mess with a trailer park full of drunken lunatics. With guns.

Life was so easy when all boys had cooties.

I teach you to lie cheat and steal. And the moment I'm gone you stand in line.

Got Mirth?

Do you ever wonder where eraser bits go??

Silence is golden. Ductape is Silver.

Not all of those who wander are lost. - J. R. R. Tolkien

I don't have a short attention sp- Ohhhh, look a kitty;

Chaos, panic, and pandemonium. My work here is done.

I ran out of sick days, so I called in dead.

"I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends." - Luna Lovegood (my long lost twin...)

Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey.

"Hon, we live in a trailer park. Tackiness is our charm."

"Make way for the heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..." - Fred and George

A friend will help you up when you fall, a best friend will take your ungraceful, muddy photo and send it to all of the people you know.

You always said tomorow would be a better day... ... ...I guess tomorow never came.

Did it hurt when I fell from heaven?... No but it hurt when they clipped my wings for being the devil.

Why does a Rose represent Love, when a rose always dies?

You always said tomarrow would be a better day; I guess tomorrow never came.

I ran out of sick days, so I called in dead.

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Forgive your enemies, just don't forget their names.

It's you and me against the world, we attack at dawn.

When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but only 4 to reach out and punch them. HARD.


[1] I need to tell you a secret LOOK AT 5

[2] The answer is LOOK AT 11

[3] Dont get mad LOOK AT 15

[4] Calm down don't be mad LOOK AT 13

[5] First LOOK AT 2

[6] Dont be that angry LOOK AT 12

[7] I just wanna say hi

[8] What I wanted to tell you is...THE ANSWER IS ON 14

[9] Be patient LOOK AT 4

[10] This is the last time I'm going to do this LOOK AT 7

[11] I hope you're not mad when I say this LOOK AT 6

[12] Sorry LOOK AT 8

[13] Don't be getting a hype LOOK AT 10

[14] I dont know how to say this LOOK AT 3

[15] You must be really mad LOOK AT NUMBER 9


Six truths in life

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical imposibility

2. All idiots, after reading this will try it

3. And discover that it's a lie

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

I sincerely apologize about this but I am an idiot and i needed company

If you count as an idiot, post this onto your profile! :P


Okay, I just got a pet rock, and here's how to take care of it:

Your pet rock and you.

Your pet rock will be a devoted friend and companion for many years to come. Rocks enjoy a rather long life span so the two of you will never have to part-at least not on your pet rock's account. Once you have transcended the awkward training stage your rock will mature into a faithful, obedient, loving pet with but one purpose in life-to be at your side when you want it to, and to go lie down when you don't.

A pet rock is perfect for people who hate animals, are allergic to animals, or who are not allowed to keep animals. When you own a pet rock you haver have problems with leash law violations, you'll never have to clean up nasty messes, and your pet will haver keep you and the neighbors awake at night. Pet rocks are welcome anywhere!

SECTION ONE

Simple obedience.

Come.

It is essential that your pet rock learn this command. A rock that doesn't come when it's called will cause its owner endless embarassment. To teach the command COME, place your rock on the floor or ground and take a few steps backward. Next, bending over from the waist, place your hands upon your knees and face your rock. Now, with firm authority, say COME PEDRA. (If you have not named your rock Pedra you may wish to say something else.) Repeat the command, COME PEDRA.

Assuming your rock is normal, it will probably now respond.

Start again.

Bending over from the waits, face your rock, clap your hands, and let your face light up as you cay, COME PEDRA, C'MON FELLA, HERE GIRL, and stuff like that. Now, start walking slowly towards your rock. Incredibly, as you walk toward your rock, you will notice that it actually is coming closer. This means your pet rock is learning to command, COME.

Praise your rock and give it a pat of approval.

Stay.

The next command to teach your rock is STAY. It is very important that your pet rock learn this command as it is dosconcerting to have a rock that will wander around while you are shopping for groceries or having your hair done.

Return to your training area and set your rock upon the floor or ground. Look at your rock intently, like you really mean business, and give the command, STAY. Surprisingly, most rocks have no difficulty learning this command and respond quite obediently the first time they hear it.

Repeat the command, STAY, and slowly back away from your rock. If your rock should move, and this is highly unlikely, shout the command while gesturing dramatically with the palm of your outstretched hand. In no time at all your pet rock will be responding to this obedience command each and every time. With further patience you can train your rock to STAY by using only the hand signals.

Sit.

This is not a difficult command to teach a pet rock as most rocks spend the bulk of their time sitting around anyways. However, a refresher course is certainly in order since you will want your rock to sit when you want it to, not when it wants to.

Place your rock in its training area and give the command, SIT. Many rocks will attempt to deceive you by lying down, thinking that you won't know the difference. This should not be encouraged! If you say, SIT, then your rock should sit, and that's all there is to it.

Here is a simple method to ensure your pet rock always obeys your commands:

Repeat the order, SIT, and slowly walk away from your rock. Now, hide in another room and, from time to time, peek in on your rock to make sure it hasn't moved. If it lies down, when it should be sitting, storm into the room and shout, BAD ROCK, BAD ROCK! Your pet rock will know it has displeased you and will return to the sitting position. It will also know who's the boss!

Once your pet rock learns the command, SIT, add the command, STAY. Your rock will now remain sitting until further notice.

Down.

It would be cruel to leave your rock in the sitting position forever. Therefore, it is necessary that you teach it the command, DOWN. After sitting for a long period of time your rock will appreciate the chance to relax. It is also nice, when you have house guests, to own a pet rock that will lie, unobtrusively and lovingly, at your feet.

Teaching the command, DOWN, is best accomplished in conjunction with the command, SIT. After your pet rock has been in the sitting position for a while, give it the command, DOWN. If you've made a big fuss about your rock sitting properly it may be reluctant to move. Place your foot upon your rock and push it firmly into the carpet or dirt. It won't take long before your rock understands what you want it to do. DOWN is another of the training commands that most rocks respond to with a minimum of teaching. It is in a pet rock's nature that it learns to get down so easily.

Praise your rock and give it a gently, reassuring hug.

Stand.

You're a little confused if you think a pet rock can be taught to STAND. A rock has no feet.

Heel.

It is extremely unusual to see a rock strolling around unaccompanied. There's a very good reason for this. Most pet rock owners have had the patience and good judgment to teach the command, HEEL.

To teach your pet rock to HEEL, simply follow these easy steps. First, place your pet rock on the floor or ground directly behind your right heel. Next, give the command, HEEL, and stand aboslutely still. Slowly, without moving your feet, turn and look down at your rock. You will be both pleased and amazed to see it is still there, right where you want it to be, directly behind your right heel. Your pet rock has learned the command.

Praise your rock.

SECTION TWO

Amusing Tricks.

Few pets are more anxious to please their masters than are pet rocks. It is surprisingly easy to teach your rock cute little tricks that will entertain you and your friends for hours.

Roll Over.

Your pet rock will learn this trick the very first time you give it a lesson. That statement may be hard to believe but it is, nevertheless, quite true.

The best place to teach your pet rock to ROLL OVER is on the side of a hill. Place your rock on the ground at the top of a hill and give the command, ROLL OVER. Now, let go of your rock. It's that simple!

Your rock will roll end-over-end and will not stop until it tires of the game. Pet rocks usually get tired of the game when they reach the bottom of the hill. Follow your rock and praise it profusely. This praise will make your pet rock very happy and it will repeat the trick as soon as you return it to the top of the hill.

You will tire of this trick long before your pet rock does.

Play Dead.

Your pet rock will take to this trick like a duck takes to water. It is one of the most entertaining tricks a rock can learn, and a trick that is sure to get many affectionate laughs and approving glances from you and your friends.

Take your pet rock to its training area and, when you have its undivided attention, give the command, PLAY DEAD. If your rock is like most rocks it will not have to be told more than once. Immediately, it will go completely stiff as though rigor mortis has set in, and will remain in this posture until you give a different command.

Rocks enjoy this trick so much that often, when you're not even looking, they'll actually practice it on their own. It's not unusual to walk into a room and see a pet rock playing dead.

Shake Hands.

Don't be ridiculous. You can't teach a rock to shake hands.

Fetch.

To teach your pet rock to FETCH, throw a stick or a ball as far as you can. Next, throw your pet rock as far as you can. Rarely, if ever, will your pet rock return with the object, but that's the way it goes.

Attack Training.

A rock is a loyal, devoted pet that can easily be trained to protect you and your family. Woe be to the burglar or prowler who ventures into the home guarded by a pet rock-or the mugger who attempts to accost a pet rock's master.

There are two basic attack methods to teach your pet rock.

1.) Long Distance Attacks

2.) Close Range Attacks

Long Distance Attacks.

In those instances when your adversary is at a distance (such as when a bully kicks sand in your face on the beach and keeps on running), your pet rock will respond to the challenge instantly and effectively in assuring that it never happens again. First, wipe the sand from your eyes. Next pick up your pet rock. Shout the command, ATTACK!, and throw your rock at the bully with all your might. This method of protection is sure-fire and results are guaranteed, although you may want to practice your aim before attempting this maneuver.

Close Range Attacks.

If you are threateded at close range always use the Close Range Attack Method; it is the ultimate form of personal protection. The element of surprise enters into this attack method, thereby making it doubly effective.

When the adversary approaches within arm's length and demands all your money, credit cards, and other valuables follow these easy steps:

Reach into your pocket or purse as though you were going to comply with the mugger's demands. Extract your pet rock. Shout the command, ATTACK. And bash the mugger's head in.

Pet rocks really seem to enjoy this exercise and, in most cases, come away from the attack little the worse for wear.

NOTE:

Owners of Attack Trained pet rocks have a responsibility to society to use their dangerous pets for protection only, and not for instigating trouble of any kind.

In closing...

As the owner of a pet rock you have assumed a responsibility to love and care for this new addition to your family. If your rock should misbehave, be patient.If it should cause your problems, be forgiving. Under no circumstances should you turn your pet rock loose. The world is already overcrowded with discarded, unwanted rocks, and millions must be destroyed each year. These poor, unfortunate rocks meet brutal ends in roadbeds, cement mixers, or as land fill. Don't allow your pet rock to meet an untimely demise at the bottom of an obscure pile of rubble. Remember; if you take care of your pet rock, your pet rock will take care of you.

If you used this to train your pet rock, or this encouraged you to adopt a rock, copy it and add your name- cookie stealing kitty

Guys, I'm f*ing sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a f*ing cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker f*ing hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart, and a gorgeous southern belle. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all f*ing worse is that I live in a pineapple under the sea.

Haha, get it? If you got it, copy and paste this and add your name. Qille, cookie stealing kitty,


Random Quotes and sayings

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

PMS - Possible Murder Suspect

As I lay in bed looking at the twinkling stars above me, I think, "Where the hell is my ceiling?"

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice!

Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.

I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Most teachers promote the three R's; Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. Then there are those that promote three S's; Sit down, Shut up, and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting in the next cell, laughing, and saying, "That was fun, let's do it again!"

A good friend helps find your Prince Charming. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

Weird is running up and down the street in a bikini, rubbing butter all over yourself, and screaming "I'm a pretty muffin!"

When Life gives me lemons, I throw them back and punch Life in the face, really, really hard.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is the same as cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

People are like slinkies. Basically useless, but it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.

When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump off a bridge, I laugh harder.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

To date, life has been a race between Software companies making bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe making bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

Smile. It scares people.

An overly-positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it!

There are easier things to do in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."

I'm not so good with advice. May I offer a sarcastic comment?

The knack of flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

Whoever said words don't hurt have obviously never had a hard-backed encyclopedia hurled at their head.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will eventually kill me

Hell hath no fury that of a scorned woman. I'll help make sure of it.

When someone annoys you, it takes fourty-two muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend your arm and whack them upside the head.

I get plenty of exercise; jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

Life isn't passing me by! It's trying to run me over!

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'

I didn’t escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!

Drive like you stole it!

Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.

When life gives us Jonas brothers, we throw Jonas Brothers back really, really hard and demand Green Day.

It's not PMS...it's you

I'm not mean, I just say what most people keep in their heads.

I don't need your attitude, I have my own.

I'm not mean, you're just a sissy.

You're a great friend. But if zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

Be the type of woman, that when your feet land on the floor when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil thinks: "Oh, crap! She's up!"

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid

I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me

That does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast!

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

I know who I am...your approval really isn't needed

Normal people worry me

Blondes do it better

I stopped fighting my inner demons quite some time ago. We're on the same side now.

I do not have an attitude problem! I have an attitude, but I just can't find a problem with it (note: do NOT use this on your Math teacher when she yells at you about your attitude. Not if you like living.)

Anyone: Go to hell!

You: I did. But Hell was full, so I came back

And to think you are the result of millions of years of evolution.

There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.


FUN FACTS

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

A day without sunshine is like... night.

A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots.

So far, the universe is winning.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train.


What have they been telling you? I'm prefectly normal! NORMAL, I SAY!!! *twitchtwitch*


WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DANGIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two. Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun. Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

Copy and paste this on to your profile if you got a laugh out of it lol

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Murphy's 15 Other Laws...

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by
those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.


Your One and Only Wish

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday!


You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions ( haha my chemistry teacher actually has a sign that says potions!)

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "tellyfone."

You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You name all of your pets after HP characters.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving


You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this "Ice ice _ "

You remember watching: -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life.

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember: -TGIF -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You said "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

when everything was settled by: -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or ink abink a bottle of ink

when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember watching: -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember eating Warheads.

You remember watching: -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

one word. . . Furbies.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Carebears

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

The old dollar bills.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Zunes & iPods . . . Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . . Before Spongebob

If you remember all of that then you're a 90's kid

A winter statistic:

98 OF AMERICANS SCREAM BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD. THE OTHER 2 ARE FROM COLORADO AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY SODA AND WATCH THIS'.

NOW:

You're from Colorado if:

You'll eat ice cream in the winter.

When the weather report says it's going to be 65 degrees, you shave your legs and wear a skirt.

It snows 5 inches and you don't expect school to be canceled.

You'll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature.

You have no accent at all, but can hear other people's. And then you copy them.

'Humid' is over 25.

Your sense of direction is: Toward the mountains and Away from the mountains.

You say 'the interstate' and everybody knows which one.

You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard.

You buy your flowers to set out on Mother's day, but try and hold off planting them until just before Father's day.

You grew up planning your Halloween costumes around your coat.

You know what the Continental Divide is.

You don't think Coors beer is that big a deal.

You went to Casa Bonita as a kid, and as an adult.

You've gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended for such activities.

You always know the elevation of where you are.

You wake up to a beautiful, 80 degree day and you wonder if it's going to snow tomorrow.

You don't care that some company renamed it, the Broncos still play at Mile High

Every movie theater has military and student discounts.

Everybody wears jeans to church.

You actually know that South Park is a real place not just a show on TV.

You know what a 'trust fund hippy' is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder

You know you're talking to a fellow Coloradoan when they call it Elitches, not Six Flags.

A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you.

Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is beating the crap out of the Raiders.

When people out East tell you they have mountains in their state too, you just laugh.

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels 'sticky' and you notice the sky is no longer blue.


Kids Are Quick
_

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
_

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
_

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
_

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
_

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
_

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
_

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
_

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
_


'Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die today'

'Don't believe everything you think'

'Feel free to insult my work, as long as you come up with an interesting insult...'

'A life -Cool- were can I download one of them from!'

'42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot'

'I intend to live forever. So far, so good.'

'Everything looks important in italics'

HISTORY: The tale of how many different nations, from all across the world, gained their independence from Great Britain.'

'I thought I was losing my mind, but then I realized that it's been gone for a while.'

'When in doubt, mumble.'

'If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.'

'Worrying works! About 90% of the things I worry about never happen!"

'With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.'

'Dyslexic Devil Worshipers Sell Their Souls to Santa'

Haikus are easy.

But sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.


OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. ( we will miss you MR. Common Sense )


Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" together
Woman: Really, I'd put "F" and "U" together.


A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.


You know you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or MySpace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You look back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it. I know you did.


Who lives in a pineapple under the sea...(change channel) d-d-d-d-dora (change channel) Heeeeey its Fraaaanklin. That's what you get for waking up early!!!!

Teacher: " Who did the homework?"
Students: " Me" "Me" "Me"(Everyone)
Teacher: "Let me check"
Students: "Oh crap..."

Look at the keyboard, it has U and I together. Look underneath that, it says JK. Next to that spells LOL, and ends with a :P

I THROW MY HANDS IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYING- OMG ARE YOU OKAY? Wow, sorry dude. Didn't mean to hit you. :S

Mom: YOUR GROUNDED.
Teen: Psh. Fine I don't care.
Mom: Give me your phone then.
Teen: OMG IM SO SORRY MOM! I LOVE YOU!

Edward isn't a Vampire. He lives in the forest, he doesn't eat people, and he sparkles. He's obviously a Fairy.

Best friends.. You fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge; I get in a paddleboat and save your stupid ass.

ROTFLOLASHTINCBISAGO WOTTARUTDIAIOA - Rolling on the floor laughin out loud and so hard that i nearly choke but i see a glass of water on the table and reach up to drink it and im ok again

FIRE ALARM*
Year7: AHHHHH WHAT DO WE DO!???
Year8: Mannn I ain't leaving my stuff here!
Year9&10: WHOOOOOOOO!!!
Year11: *sigh*...

I dont have attention problems, I just... Do you like waffles?

'OGC' sideways looks like someone wanking!

Hiding your face while laughing, bcause the teacher's screaming

Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse XD

Some people come into your life and leave a footprint on your heart. Some people come into your life and you want to leave a footprint on their face.

Don’t double dip. It annoys some people. Triple dip. Piss everyone off!!!

Doesn’t care if Charlotte is a warm, tender, loving, motherly spider. If she ever comes anywhere near me, she's still getting the shoe.

Anyone can trip down stairs; you have to be a freaking genius to trip up them!

Ur mama so fat she ate Jenny AND Craig!

Ever wondered what colour Smurfs would go if you choke them?

Caution! Blonde thinking... could be dangerous or even fatal!

i didn't lose my mind, i just can’t remember where i put it

Is smiling... ...this should scare you :)

Has decided that from now on whenever someone asks me to do something I’ll say "Do you want fries with that?"

...why do people say expect the unexpected? Because isn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

note to self: Do Not punch others in the face

I love being me; it pisses off all the right people.

Dear Monday, I hate you! Love from Me xo

For men who think.”A women's place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that's where the knives are kept!

On a scale from 0 to insane, I'm Batman!

Definition of pointless = chocolate in resealable bags!

SHOUTS: QUICK GET A SPOON! ME BISCUITS FALLEN IN ME DRINK! ITS DROWNING! ITS DROWNING! ITS...oh its drowned

Have you ever watched someone fall down the stairs?? There just like Slinky's except they make it the whole way!!

Is going to visit the purple kitty cats in her closet today. OH NO! The orange doggies are chasing the purple kitty cats! HURRY YELLOW UNICORN HELP THEM!

Do not interrupt me when I'm concocting evil schemes or i will bite you.

Has a brilliant idea of what to do for fun, next time she goes to the zoo she will start running towards the exit shouting RUN THEY'RE LOOSE!

Today, my friend showed me that the word OK looks like a sideways person. Then I pointed out that QK looks like a ninja. I win.

Is wondering if you could breathe through your butt like a turtle would you suffocate when you sat down?

Bubble wrap... addicting people since 1957

I've told them a hundred times--don't touch the whatchamacallit because it will make the doohickey not work with the thingamabob!

I watched a PG movie without my parents’ permission. What. A. Rebel.

I bet a lot of mimes choke to death because nobody believes they're really choking.

You squeeze a lemon, you get lemon juice. You squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. So how come when you squeeze a cow, you get milk??? COW JUICE, PEOPLE.

Don't ever, ever, EVER!!! Touch a crazy woman's pudding!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!

Was in the park flying a kite and a guy walks up and says "You flying a kite?" Nope, we're fishing for birds.

Crazy? I was crazy once,they put me in a round room- I HATE ROUND ROOMS, they remind me of worms. WORMS? I hate worms they drive crazy! CRAZY? I was crazy once!

Saw it... Wanted it... Threw a tantrum... And got it..

Hates when you walk through a spider web and you start waving your arms around in the air and screaming and from far away you look like a crazy person

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

Says I must remember it is against the law to strangle and kill stupid people

People that know me think I'm quiet. My friends think I'm out-going. My BEST friends KNOW I'm completely insane!

I get distracted cleaning my room because I find such awesome things!

I'm gonna gather the purple penguins, pink elephants, green monkeys, and the red kangaroos and start me a SKITTLE ARMY! Hahahaha

Hi... can I borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye with it.

My logic may not always be logical to you but clearly my logic is logical because, logically my logic is logical. Any questions?

Well this is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!

Says if you were on a deserted island and you could only bring one item, how come people never say "a boat"?

Finding a needle in a haystack is simple... All you have to do is set the haystack on fire.

I am glad that McDonalds does not sell hot dogs. Seriously I could never order a "McWeiner" with a straight face.

To vegetarians: I eat the cows which produce the methane causing global warming while you eat the plants trying to fix global warming so who's really killing the planet?


If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says "if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven."

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste to your profile

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

If you claim to have no life and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (woo joing the party of the living)

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you would stand up for your favorite pairings and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name after mine: Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, Medalis, Invisibool, DeaMii22, Mythscaenger, puckabrina-percabeth-fax101(OK my name makes it OBVIOUS), Silkmouse, Qille, cookie stealing kitty

If you obsessively check your email almost every 10 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile

If you think copying and pasting things into your profile is fun copy and paste this in your profile. :D

If you know a jerk named Holden who derserves a good kick in the pants copy and paste this onto your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, put this in your profile. I

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.( so many that i actually have to check i haven't already copied and pasted somethings)

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile lol

Ponder these imponderables!

Imponderables

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What happens if you open it somewhere else?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

How can there be "self help GROUPS"?

Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?

Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?

Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?


HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE, the Truth!

1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software. It should look something like this:

SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM

NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.

2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.

3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette or a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:

LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it or leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,...finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.

4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."

5. If you have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.

6. Turn the computer on, you idiot.

7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.

8. You will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:

The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
-- -- YES SURE -- --

9. After you make your selection, you will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a food processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."

10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:

CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. You may now attempt to run your software. If you experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, or intestinal parasites, you should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*)$*!#$_$.

11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.

12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.


Some rules to live by

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school -- you'll be working for them in the future.


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.


QUESTIONS...

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makesPanamahats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) TheCanary Islandsin the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?

ANSWERS...

1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.

2)Ecuador.

3) From sheep and horses.

4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.

5) Squirrel fur.

6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria -Islandof the Dogs.

7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of QueenVictoriathat no future king should ever be called Albert.

8) Distinctively crimson.

9)New Zealand.

10) Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.


Read some very funny answering machine messages

These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now you say something.

5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.


Check out some supposedly true and very funny answers in a written driving test

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.


25 Steps To Building A Webpage

1. Download a piece of Web authoring software 20 minutes.
2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page. 6 weeks.
3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it. 20 minutes.
4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site. 1 minute.
5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like. 4 days.
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again. 25 minutes.
7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do. 15 minutes.
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there. 4 hours.
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software. 1 minute.
10. Try to horizontally line up two related images 6 hours.
11. Remove one of the images. 10 seconds.
12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone. 4 hours.
13. Download a counter from your ISP. 4 minutes.
14. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number 16.3 E10". 3 hours.
15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text. 8 hours.
16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP. 40 minutes.
17. Accidentally delete your complete web page, follow with an extremely LOUD scream. 10 seconds {1 to delete, 9 to scream}.
18. Recreate your web page 2 days.
19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server. 3 weeks.
20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP. 30 minutes.
21. Download FTP software. 10 minutes.
22. Call your friend again. 15 minutes.
23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server. 10 minutes.
24. Connect to your site on the web. 1 minute.
25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps eternity.


This is a really good beer problem information sheet

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear.
PROBLEM: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
PROBLEM: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
PROBLEM: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
PROBLEM: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
PROBLEM: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
PROBLEM: You have fallen over backwards.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
PROBLEM: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
PROBLEM: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
PROBLEM: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
PROBLEM: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
PROBLEM: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, call taxi.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
PROBLEM: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
PROBLEM: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
PROBLEM: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
PROBLEM: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar


Actual answers given by students on their test papers

Men are mammals and women are femammals.

Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.

Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars and eight cuspidors.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.


Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set...GO!!!

1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?

Answer:

If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the next question try not to be so dumb.

2 : If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in?

Answer:

If you answered second-last, once again you're completely wrong. Think about it...How can you over take the person coming last? If you're behind them then they can't be last. The answer is impossible!!

It would appear that thinking is not one of your strong points. You would make a good door-stop!!! Anyway, here's another to try, don't take any notes or use a calculator, and remember your replies must be instantaneous.

3 : Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000. Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20. Plus 1000. And plus 10. What is the total ?

Answer:

5000??? Wrong again!!!!
The correct answer is 4100. Try again with a good calculator.
Today is clearly not your day!! Although you should manage to get the last question right...

4 : Marie's father has five daughters:
1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ????

Question: What is the fifth daughter's name?
Think quickly...you'll find the answer below...

Answer: Chuchu??? WRONG!!!!!
It's obviously Marie you ding-bat!!! Read the question properly!!!!!

You are clearly the weakest link...GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Something Americans might find interesting (and the rest of us will find funny!)

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Enjoy paying your taxes.


A good example of an idiot ringing technical support

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A drive won't work."

Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"

Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."

Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"

Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out and that didn't work either."

Tech Support: "You did what sir?"

Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."

Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."

Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"

(At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.)

Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"

Customer: "I said I put butter in my A drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."

Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"

( Silence. )

Tech Support: "Sir?"

Customer: "Yes."

Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer!"

Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, but instead proceeded to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"

Customer: "Ummmm."

Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"

Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"

Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day!"


Why punctuation is important

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Gloria


More Men v Women stuff

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man smart woman =3D romance
Smart man dumb woman =3D affair
Dumb man smart woman =3D marriage
Dumb man dumb woman =3D pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss smart employee = profit
Smart boss dumb employee = production
Dumb boss smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

The Fundamental Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow mutate during the night.

OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

What a woman says:
C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

What a man hears:
C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW.


What is written on a job advert, and what it actually means

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.


Why English is the hardest language to learn

1, The bandage was wound around the wound.

2, The farm was used to produce produce.

3, The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4, There is no time like the present, so he thought he would present the present.

5, When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

6, He did not object to the object.

7, The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

8,The oarsmen had a row about how to row.

9, he was too close to the door to close it.

10, A stag does strange things when the does are present.

11, After a number of injections my jaw became number.

12, The artist saw a tear in his painting and shed a tear.

13,She had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

14, An army chef decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Also...

There are no eggs in an eggplant, no apple or pine in pineapple.

Quicksand works slowly.

Boxing rings are square.

Guinea pigs are neither fromGuineaor are pigs.

Writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham.

If a vegetarian eats veg, what does an humanitarian eat?

A slim chance and a fat chance are similar.

So are quite a lot and quite a few.

But overlook and oversee are very different.

You fill in a form to fill it out.

An alarm goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, you see their light but when the lights are out you see nothing.


4 ways to be KICKED out of a supermarket:
HILARIOUS !!

#1: If you can, write "I see dead people..." on the typewriters.
#2: Unwrap all the chocolate bars saying,"I've got to find that golden ticket.."
#3: Put a Dora The Explorer doll in the middle of the store and if someone tries to pick it up, jump out and say,"SWIPER NO SWIPING!"
#4: Throw Skittles at people and shout, "Taste the Rainbow!!!!"


100 Things to do if bored during class

1. Devise a secret code with your friends then hand in the homework in that code
2. Continually ask questions so that the professor can’t give homework
3. Answer the teacher’s questions in slow motion
4. Answer questions only with one word
5. Scream random words without anybody noticing it’s you
6. Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
7. Ask your professor personal questions
8. Every time the professor finishes talking clap
9. Eat paper
10. Talk very fast
11. Call the professor “Mom” or “Dad”
12. Count your hair
13. Talk with an accent
14. Answer questions in a different language
15. Fake spasms
16. Pretend to have a vision like in That's So Raven.
17. Draw cartoon characters of your classmates or of the professors
18. Quote Terminator
19. Write out plans on how to conquer the world
20. Pretend to Choke
21. Pretend to be drunk
22. Tap your feet on the ground loudly
23. Raise your hand for every question your teacher asks you but answer “Oh, I forgot”
24. Pretend to slip
25. Wink at the teacher
26. Wink at random people
27. Keep nodding at the teacher
28. Smile the whole lesson
29. When the teacher enters the room give a low bow
30. Pretend to sleep and snore loudly
31. Take off your shoes and socks
32. Ask your teacher where the potions room is
33. Ask the teacher where he/she is
34. Fake Fart Sounds
35. Ask the teacher for his/her phone number
36. Spill your pencil case/box on the floor
37. Pretend to be sick
38. Pretend to have photographic memory
39. Fake flashbacks
40. Tell people “I’m Pregnant”
41. Ask out the teacher
42. Sit on the teacher's seat and when he enters the room say "This is my seat"
43. Ask your teacher if he/she is a vampire
44. Sing your favourite song
45. Twitter the whole lesson
46. Pretend to be Indian
47. Write a love note to the teacher
48. Talk to yourself
49. Snort Eraser dust
50. When the teacher enters the room Scream “next”
51. When the Teacher enters the room ask for a refund
52. On your assignments write very small or extremely big
53. Act like a nerd
54. Pull a “Michael Jackson” and paint yourself white
55. Put some red ink on a ruler, then slash your wrists with it so people think you cut yourself
56. Talk in slang
57. Get into a fight with yourself
58. Pretend you are a gangster
59. Pretend you are high
60. Bring a bag of flour to school and on your desk make lines of flour and attempt to snort them
61. Once the teacher enters the room get the whole class to sing the national anthem
62. Act high
63. Stare at one object in the classroom for one lesson
64. Rate the teacher
65. Ask your teacher what 'chakra' is.
66. Touch a Plug and pretend to get electrocuted
67. When the teacher is counting (Math), recite random numbers.
68. Talk the same time as the teacher does, just as he/she says it.
69. Make odd animal noises
70. When the teacher enters the room scream "AGHHH!!"
71. Write down everything the teacher says while repeating what they say
72. Laugh Stupidly for no reason
73. Act as if you were blind
74. Sit on the floor and beg for money
75. Put Porn/Horror books on the teacher's table.
76. Lick your stationary seductively while staring at a person
77. Begin Cussing at your self
78. Talk in gangster rap
79. Challenge your teacher to a rap battle
80. Pretend to chew gum
81. Point out the window and say “LOOK EVERYBODY SPIDERMAN” once every one looks say “oh too late he’s gone now”
82. Write a love note and leave it on the chair when you change period
83. Play air guitar
84. Ask the teacher what's happening in an anime (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, Vampire Knight, etc.)
85. Say random facts about people
86. Go up to someone you have never talked to before then tell them “I have this problem for years now I can’t take it anymore”
87. Narrate your life
88. Beat box
89. Whistle at random things
90. Count random things
91. Pass notes to people you have no interest in
92. Ask personal details about people you would never have talked to
93. Play your favorite song in your head
94. Think of what the teacher’s life was like
95. Rhyme the last words of everybody’s sentences
96. Do stuff in slow mo, such as entering the room, sitting in your chair, finding stuff in your bag, answering the teacher, etc.
97. Search in your bag/binder for things you don’t have
98. Attempt to Find Nemo
99. Use photoshop and put your teacher's head on some random animal's body (Elephant, Hippopotamus, Spider, etc.), print out the picture, then leave the picture at your teacher's desk before he/she come into the room.
100. Ask the teacher personal questions


The Ten Commandments of Reviewing - created by FictionReader98 and Zoneshifter D
1) Thou shalt point out the parts you enjoy
2) Thou shalt point out the parts you disliked, if any.
3) Thou shalt point out the parts you utterly hated and explain why
4) Thou shalt write with good grammar!!
5) Thou shalt not give annonymous reviews, for the authors might want to reply to thine criticism!
6) Thou shalt not flame
7) Thou shalt write a four sentence paragraph minimum!
8) Thou shalt use constructive criticism!
9) Thou shalt review as much as possible, not merely once!
10) Thou shalt voice thine expectations.


7 Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."


45 Things to do during an Exam!

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.


The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

Whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

Whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

Whenever a limo passes my car.

Yes I promise to remember PJO

Wherever I may go


16 ways to perplex, confuse or just scare people in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evily.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
10. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
11. Type on Chatroullette for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
12. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
13. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
14. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
15. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
16. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.


You say Twilight
I say Harry Potter
You say vampires
I say wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirius Black
you say Team Edward
I say Team Potter
You say Robert Pattison
I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"
You say Robert Pattison is hot
I say Tom Felton is HOTTER
You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?
I think that's Lily and James
You say Edward
I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY!


You may be stupid if...

You may be stupid if...

...you can't remember how to spell "IQ."

...you can't remember the number for 911.

...you just discovered your AM radio also works in the afternoon.

...you use correction fluid on your PC monitor.

...you fail Physical Education.

...you can not spell it.

...you try to turn the light on to find a flashlight in a power outage!

...you put braille on a drive up teller machine.

...you think Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

...you think a pigpen is something to write with!!!

...you think a cartoon is a song about automobiles.

...you use your CD-ROM unit as a drink holder.

...you frequently misspell your own name.

...you've ever been stuck in a toilet seat.

...you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade.

...it takes you two hours to watch 60 minutes.

...you often wonder who Ronald McDonald's parents are.

...you sell your car for gas money.

...you think Hamburger Helper comes with a man.

...you try thinking and nothing happens.

...you think a quarterback is a refund

...you think hot dogs are real meat.

...people nick-name you Homer.

...you cook Minute Rice for an hour!

...upon approaching a traffic sign that says STOP AHEAD, you reach over and grab your passenger by the top of the head.

...you lose $25 on a horse race and then lose $25 on the instant replay

...you were the one testing out the shark bite suit.

...you get tangled up in a cordless phone.

...you need to be reminded to breath.

...someone tells you to call 911, and you can't find the 11!

...you take a donut back cause it has a hole in it!

...you stare at an orange juice can because it says concentrate.

...you have to look "stupid" up in the dictionary.

...you sit on the TV and watch the couch.

...you tell your wife not to laugh as you point a gun to your head, because she is next!

...you think Yogi Bear played for the Yankees.

...you bronze a gold medal as a keep sake.

...you get lost in your closet.

... you take an I.Q. test and forget to write your name.

...you go around a revolving door looking for the door knob.

...you list the police department as a reference on your resume.

...you get fired from volunteer work.

...a hamburger is a cheeseburger, hold the cheese, to you.

...you run around looking for a quarter to call 911.

...you can't find the "ANY" key on the keyboard.

...you feel for one millisecond that you may have won the sweepstakes this time despite the fact that it is stamped in clear view "bulk rate."

...you try to look up a word in the dictionary without knowing how to spell it correctly, and you can't find it. Feeling like a ''genius'', that you realize that WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY made an error.

...you have to look on both ends to open a bottle.

...someone offers you a bagel and you reply, "No thanks, I already have a dog!"

...you turn the light on to see if it's dark.

...you take your chia pet for a walk.

...you wear your glasses while looking for them.

...you think it's funny when someone makes fun of you.

...you laugh at yourself when you step in dog crap.

...you come out of the shower and burp a soap bubble.

...you can't find your ringing phone.

...you ask someone "Can I ask you one question?".

...you're saying "I don't get it!" right now.

...you put the milk in the dishwasher and the glass in the fridge.

...you can't find this website.

...you see a sign with a cigarette with a \ through it and just think that the owner of that sign hates drugs, and then light a cigarette.

...you can't get online right now.

...you went to the library to read.

...you figured you were stupid from the last line you just read.

...you just threw your monitor out the window.

...you just walked outside to see if you had mail because your computer said you did.

...you went to a movie to catch up on some reading.

...you tried to get off drugs by pushing the "Caps Lock" key.

...you used your friends computer to get home by pressing "Home".

...you typed your soc. security number in just for fun

...you just played 53 pickup

...you put doritos in a tennis ball launcher and had one smack you in the head.

...you pushed the "emergency stop" button on an elevator to see what it did.

Birth Months: (bold yours)

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts.Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave andcaring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led.Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well.Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.


I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart


Words of Wisdom and Quotes

-Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

-Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them

-Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat

-There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives

-Be patient. Waiting allows the development of humility.

-Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good?

-Nothing makes us so lonely as our own secrets.

-Don't let fear rule your life since F.E.A.R. stands for False.Evidence.Appearing.Real. Either that or it stands for First.Encounter.Assault.Recon.

-Asking for patience is asking for more problems...

-Living in denial is living a lie.

-A weak opponent in the past can become a dangerous one in the future.

-Time is a great teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its pupils.

-A man with nothing to lose is capable of anything

-When you curse someone, you dig your own grave.

-Because our entire universe is made up of consciousness, we never really experience the universe directly we just experience our consciousness of the universe, our perception of it, so right, our only universe is perception.

-When outnumbered, don't think of it as outnumbered, think of it as a wide target selection.

-Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

-Silence is the most pleasing sound, so shut up.

-Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

-Learn to recognize when speed is not important. Race when being first is important; move at your own pace at all other times. It is not necessary to always strike the first blow, to provide the first solution, or to reach a goal before anyone else does. In fact, it is sometimes vital to strike the last blow, to give the final answer, or to arrive after everyone else.

-War does not determine who is right only who is left.

-Heroes come and go, but the stories never change, the battle between good and evil will rage on for millenniums to come, yet through out all time there is one thing that has never changed, evil never dies, and heroes never surrender!

-One who does not sacrifice anything cannot achieve anything.

-You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same!

-I don't hit people, I only Hi-5 their faces!


20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!


JOKES!!!

One day a woman caught a magic frog while jogging. The frog gave her three wishes for catching him, but with one catch: everything she wished for, her husband would also get, only he'd get 10 times more than her. First she wished to be the most beautiful woman on earth. "Are you sure? Your husband will be 10 times more beautiful than you," the frog clarified. "Oh yes, I'm sure." ZAP! The woman was instantly beautiful, but she was still only the second most beautiful on earth, her husband being first. "My second wish is that I wish I was the richest person on earth," she told the frog. "You sure? Your husband will have 10 times more money than you." "Oh yes." "Okay, then." ZAP! Trillions and trillions of dollars appeared in a safe in the woman's house. However, her husband was granted with even more money. "What's your third wish?" the frog asked. "I wish for a mild heart attack.

A couple of strangers were drinking at a cliffside bar overlooking the ocean. Both of them look a little drunk, when one says to the other: "Hey, look at the wind whipping up the side of that cliff. It moves pretty fast. I'll bet I could jump off of the ledge, catch the wind in my coat, and get lifted right back up to the bar!" "No way", says the other guy, "you'd fall to your death." "Well, I'm going to try it!", says the first, and at that he walks over, stands on the ledge, and leaps off in a swan dive. Sure enough, he comes sailing back up in no time, and lands on his feet right in front of the bar. "I can't believe it!" says the second guy, "that's impossible" . So the first drunk does it again: he jumps off the cliff, catches the wind in his coat, and comes sailing back to the bar. "Go ahead", he says, "try it, it's great!" "Well, OK, I'm just drunk enough to give it a go", says the second fellow. So he climbs the ledge and leaps off the cliff, only to fall screaming to his death on the rocks below. The first guy walks back to the bar and sits down to his drink. The bartender steps over, looks him in the eye, and says to him: "You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes when you've been drinking, Superman".


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


Put this
(o)on your page
if you like music


It's the 50's, and a black man drinks from a white water fountain. A white man approaches him and says, "Excuse me, that is for whites only. You are colored." The black man then raises his head, and replies, "I was black when I was born. I'm black when I'm cold. I'm black when I'm hot. I'm black when I'm sick, and I'll be black when I die. You sir, are pink when you're born. Blue when you're cold. Red when you're hot. Green when you're sick. And purple when you die. Now who's the colored one?" Whoo-hoo! Go anti-racists!


... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSssSSSSsSS
... ...sSs
... ..s... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..


50 OR SO AWESOME WAYS TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER WANNA BACKHAND YOU!!!

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG??” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!”

6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.

7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”

8. Don’t do your Homework.

9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.

10. When you have a substitute teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”

11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.

12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom.

13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”

14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.

15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!”

16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena

17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room

18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says

19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow

20. Speak in French.

21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”

22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well

23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."

24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt.

25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”

26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."

27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”

28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”

29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads.

30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”

31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”

32. Bring in a 4th Grader and says he’s your new pet.

33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.

34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them.

35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.

36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.

37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.

38. Glue all their scissors together.

39. Make paperclip jewelery. I.e. necklaces, earrings, etc…

40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”

41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’

42. Talk to a pen.

43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!”

44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.

45. Smile. All the time.

46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”

47. When a substitute teacher is taking attendance, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’

48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go "OOOHH I KNOW THIS!!"

49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot." To every question she asks.

50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favorite song.

ADDITIONALS

51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards the him/her!

52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!

53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply "ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!!"

54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout "I OBJECT!!"

55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder!

56. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats!

57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!

58. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. They must have found the body! HELP!"

59. When it's your turn to answer a question... Shout "NEXT!"

60. If you find a pencil on the floor, jump onto a desk, hold up the pencil, and yell, "LITTERING IS WRONG!! WHOEVER DROPPED THIS MUST BE PUNISHED!!" Then run around the room singing in a foreign language.


95% of people would panic if the Jonas brothers stood on the roof of a 3 story building and said they were about to jump. If you are one of the 5 who would get all of your friends, some popcorn, and a soda and scream "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" copy this

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off

There are 3 kinds of people in this world. those who can do math and those who can't.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

Kids are the future. Be scared. Be very scared.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in life's eye. and say 'How much you like lemons now, Life, huh? Huh?'

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! but not my brain. I need that.

Therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

A idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

There's no 'I' in 'TEAM' but there's a 'U' in 'SUCK'!

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly

I did not hit you. I simply high-fived your face.

I didn't run into the door, my face decided to say hello.

I never finish anyth

People are like slinkies, basically useless. But it's still amusing to watch them fall down the stairs

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone.


I'd take a bullet for you. Not in the head, like in the leg or something.

Worst. Idea. Ever. [pause] Let's do it.

People who investigate noises in horror movies deserve to die.

It's better to have loved and lost than to live with the physco for the rest of your life.

I've probably learned more from Google than I have from school

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.

I'm not easily distr. . .OMG! SHINY! ( omg if you actually point and yell "omg something shiny!" people will look lol:D)

If you have ever woundered what it was like to be a character in a movie, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever woundered what it was like to be the opposite gender, copy and paste this to your profile.

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Blondes Special Licnese

There was a blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please."

"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling.

"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a license."

To which the driver reached into her purse and handed him her license. Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."

She pointed to the bottom of the license and said, "Can you see this?? It says so right here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."

'Blondes Are Not Stupid' Convention

80,000 blondes are gathered for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "18!" Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "90?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "4?". Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream ...Give her another chance! Give her another chance!

OMG i have such a big profile!!! now off to find more copy and paste thingies to make it BIGGER!!!

if you guys actually read this then you can have a cookie!!!

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When Instinct Falls by upplet reviews
Society is a fickle thing. It changes inevitably, advancing slowly. But ideas only change if society lets them. Ever since their first case, their bond has only grown. First it was forced camaraderie, then friendship. Lastly, they became lovers. But in Zootopia, "Anyone can be Anything". If this is true... then who says a fox and bunny cannot become mates?
Zootopia - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 113 - Words: 687,544 - Reviews: 4632 - Favs: 2,243 - Follows: 2,392 - Updated: 8/26 - Published: 3/11/2016 - Judy H., Nick W., Chief Bogo
Metro City Zombie War by ladyspock7 reviews
Story idea inspired by Ramendobe of tumblr. Metro City is overrun by zombies, quarantined, and abandoned by the authorities. Roxanne brings a group of survivors to Megamind's Evil Lair, the only safe place left. To get them in, she's willing to bargain. What she discovers will change her perception forever. Some chapters may be rated M, for disturbing imagery.
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 122,472 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 320 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 7/23 - Published: 11/5/2015 - [Megamind, Roxanne R.] Minion
Reparation by FireStorm1991 reviews
Bulma and her teenaged son meet Vegeta Kurobushi, president of Ouji Corp., by chance as the man returned to his roots to face his past. As he faces his own demons, he realizes Bulma has just as many as he and wonders how this mysterious woman learned to handle her tragic and complicated past. If she could face it without closure, he certainly can too, right?
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 67 - Words: 429,222 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 6/7 - Published: 7/7/2016 - [Bulma, Vegeta] [Trunks, Mai]
From the Desk of the Chief by labmeister reviews
Every officer in the precinct has to do it. It's just the rules. Chief Bogo appreciates the rules. Unfortunately, two officers seem to be doing their best to make the experience as excruciating as possible for him. Follow the Chief as he reads the case reports submitted by Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde. Comedy ensues. Also hypertension for Chief Bogo. But mostly comedy.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 51,170 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 244 - Updated: 5/18 - Published: 10/6/2016 - Judy H., Nick W., Chief Bogo
Amongst Uncertainty by Starfang's Secrets reviews
Set between Chapter 42 of Embrace It and the Epilogue, this sequel follows Jack Savage and Skye Frost as they head back to Periton to deal with the leak that cost the lives of an officer and a civilian. Along the way, they discover their attraction for each other, and that this incident goes deeper than just a leak... SavageSkye OC-Heavy
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,377 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 3/29 - Published: 10/12/2018
Love or Law? by WindSongEnchantment reviews
What would happen if Shang found out that Mulan was a girl before the battle in the mountains? Would he follow the law and reveal her for who she truly is or would he allow her to continue her training as a soldier and hope that she makes it through the war undiscovered? Will he listen to honor or to his heart?
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 53,294 - Reviews: 660 - Favs: 770 - Follows: 1,029 - Updated: 3/21 - Published: 11/20/2014
Best Kept Secret by MoonStarDutchess reviews
What if Roy and Riza were secretly married through the entire series? This story tells you that. Mixes manga, anime, and original content. Royai - Note: Earlier chapters undergoing a rewrite and content edit (No plot change).
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 145 - Words: 517,128 - Reviews: 3831 - Favs: 1,799 - Follows: 1,603 - Updated: 3/8 - Published: 6/4/2006 - [Riza H., Roy M.]
Butterflies and Hurricanes by froglady15 reviews
Sequel to Endlessly. After the death of Frieza, birth of Trunks, and their bond stronger than ever Vegeta and Bulma are faced with the challenge of what to do next. With new and unknown threats on the horizon seeking to tear them apart, can they face it all together and strengthen their union or will it cause it to crumble? Full summary inside.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 490,257 - Reviews: 700 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 2/28 - Published: 12/5/2013 - Bulma, Vegeta
Receiver of Many by Kata Chthonia reviews
The story of Hades and Persephone... "Who are you?" "This is your dream, remember? Tell me who I am..." he said, absently coiling a tendril of her long hair around a finger. She narrowed her eyes at him. "If this is my dream, oneiroi, then answer my question. Who are you?" The voice of a natural ruler, he thought. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I am your lord husband."
Greek Mythology - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,784 - Reviews: 876 - Favs: 1,076 - Follows: 786 - Updated: 1/9 - Published: 12/13/2012 - [Hades, Persephone] - Complete
What if? Collaboration by Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps reviews
What if...Judy and Nick were hitmammals for Mr Big? What if...the Night Howler case had never happened. What if...Nick and Judy ended up in jail for crashing that train? On a routine patrol, Nick and Judy get to find out just what might happen in those situations, as a machine in Fitwik's Arcade lets them examine the, What if's? in life. Created by 45 authors/artists and counting.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 160 - Words: 683,356 - Reviews: 1485 - Favs: 418 - Follows: 461 - Updated: 1/3 - Published: 7/1/2017 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
Boys Like You by coat wreck reviews
He's the poster boy for the delinquents, and she's the valedictorian for her year. They end up in calculus together, and the rest is history. /high school AU
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 83,813 - Reviews: 964 - Favs: 1,446 - Follows: 1,618 - Updated: 11/22/2018 - Published: 4/6/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
Don't You Remember? by Nehkles reviews
Nick Wilde finally has everything he could ever want. A nice partner, the perfect roommate, and an incredible girlfriend; all in the form of one Judy Hopps. But things can change in an instant. The next thing she knows, Judy finds herself in a hospital bed with a splitting headache and her mind in a fog, not to mention having this weird fox-cop insist that he's her partner.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,102 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 603 - Updated: 10/22/2018 - Published: 8/19/2016 - [Judy H., Nick W.]
Rewritten Fate by LiGhTdARk-GiRlz reviews
Kouka was in chaos, things had turned horrible and Yona failed to save it. The once great empire had turned into ruins, destroyed to the ground... just like Yona's heart. In the brink of her death, she wished to have another chance, to do it over again... And another chance was what she got. Timetravel!Fic, slight AU, RnR, please!
Akatsuki no Yona/暁のヨナ - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 48,076 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 314 - Follows: 396 - Updated: 10/21/2018 - Published: 8/10/2015 - [Yona, Hak] Soo-won, Four Dragon Warriors
The King's Bride by tiger7210 reviews
For centuries, it has been tradition among the Gerudo for the newly crowned King to capture a maiden to be his wife. When his father dies, Link sets his eyes on the Princess of Hyrule, who's completely unwilling to comply. Will he convince her to be the Gerudo King's Bride, or will he realize he's bitten off more than he can chew? Zelink AU.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 410 - Reviews: 1066 - Favs: 541 - Follows: 483 - Updated: 10/17/2018 - Published: 12/2/2013 - Link, Zelda, Ganondorf - Complete
What They've Needed All Along by Watcher of the Hearts reviews
What if things had gone differently the night that Megamind's Bernard disguise was blown?
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 84,329 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 10/12/2018 - Published: 9/28/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R. - Complete
Embrace It by Starfang's Secrets reviews
Finally on the right side of the law, Nick keeps his savage condition from those around him, especially Judy. However, when a new criminal picks up where Bellewether stopped with the savage attacks, Nick learns that maybe being savage wasn't something to fear, but rather something to embrace in order to protect, not only innocents, but those he loves. Sequel to Primal Instincts.JxN
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 43 - Words: 295,862 - Reviews: 1836 - Favs: 1,177 - Follows: 1,126 - Updated: 10/12/2018 - Published: 7/3/2016 - [Judy H., Nick W.] Chief Bogo, OC - Complete
Fleeting Chances by xSuiren reviews
When Yona finds herself stranded in the past, she decides to make the most of her unconventional situation… while evading Hak's suspicions and Soo-Won's concern. Time Travel fic.
Akatsuki no Yona/暁のヨナ - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 34,989 - Reviews: 596 - Favs: 1,526 - Follows: 1,914 - Updated: 9/30/2018 - Published: 5/25/2015 - Yona, Hak
The Blood Stained Thread by Rainfox88 reviews
Yato's feelings for Hiyori intensifies far past what he ever imagined after she gives him his own shrine. Hiyori sees childish clinginess but what she doesn't realize is that Yato's love for her is bringing his old nature of possessiveness and desire to the surface. And this is only the beginning. Post Bishamon arc, pre-Underworld arc. YatoxHiyori. Under revision/rewriting!
Noragami/ノラガミ - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,722 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 454 - Follows: 598 - Updated: 8/24/2018 - Published: 11/29/2015 - [Hiyori I., Yato] [Vaisravana V./Bishamonten, Kazuma]
Persephone by sunflowerb reviews
She was meant to be the price for peace; her life in exchange for the Dragon Master's mercy. Her captor wasn't supposed to be a ghost from her past, and she wasn't supposed to become his ally...or his lover. And when news spreads of a blonde-haired girl at the Dragon Master's side, there will be repercussions for dragons and Vikings alike. AU. hiccstrid. multichap
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 238,787 - Reviews: 3558 - Favs: 5,440 - Follows: 5,361 - Updated: 7/29/2018 - Published: 10/6/2014 - [Astrid, Hiccup] Stoick, Toothless - Complete
Therapy by PuddinFreakyStyle reviews
"We're both trapped in this nut-house, Harleen. Only difference is, you're on the payroll." An act of kindness towards Arkham's most notorious inmate sparks a downward spiral which will send Harleen Quinzel's life spinning out of control. But in games of love and madness, how far can you go before you break? An in-depth take on Harley's origin story, with mature themes.
Suicide Squad - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 104,938 - Reviews: 1178 - Favs: 926 - Follows: 858 - Updated: 7/22/2018 - Published: 5/14/2016 - [Harley Quinn, The Joker] Bruce Wayne/Batman, OC - Complete
And All That Jazz by WANMWAD reviews
The year is 1927. Prohibition is in full swing and notorious gangster Mr. Big is behind bars for tax evasion. When his rivals start turning up dead, it seems his gang may still be bootlegging. Desperate to prove herself and put an end to the violence, rookie agent Judy Hopps pulls Nicholas Wilde out of the Witness Protection Program. Can she trust the fox who put Mr. Big away?
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 251,508 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 5/13/2018 - Published: 6/11/2017 - Judy H., Nick W., Gazelle, Mr. Big - Complete
Hatchlings by Ita-chan18 reviews
Yona and Hak married, and inherited the throne from Soo-Won, who then spent the time traveling. Yun and the Dragons stayed behind with Yona. Their adventures are over, and it is time for a new adventure: parenthood. One shots featuring the children of everyone. Current prompt: In which Jae-Ha has to face his mortality when a new dragon warrior is born.
Akatsuki no Yona/暁のヨナ - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 86,264 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 5/1/2018 - Published: 12/9/2015 - Jae-Ha/Green Dragon, OC
Love and Loyalty - Royai Romance Fictions by MoonStarDutchess reviews
A collection of various romantic royai oneshots.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,851 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 4/25/2018 - Published: 10/10/2015 - [Riza H., Roy M.] - Complete
The Redemption of Nicholas Wilde by Nitemage256 reviews
Bellwether is in custody and the Night Howlers case has been solved. Nick has spent twenty years building up barriers to keep everyone from seeing the real fox, but what's a fox to do when a certain bunny can see right through those barriers and has set her sights squarely on him? Drama/Action/Suspense and plenty of Wilde-Hopps shipping.
Zootopia - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 135,166 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 533 - Follows: 685 - Updated: 2/27/2018 - Published: 9/3/2016 - Judy H., Nick W., Chief Bogo, Finnick
The Fox and the Rabbit by ShippingMammals reviews
Taking place after the events in the Movie, starting directly after the Gazelle concert, the building feelings they both have to each other come to a head and take an unexpected turn. While mostly a slice of life as Judy and Nick find out more about each other, and try to figure out their relationship, loose ends from the missing mammals case will eventually emerge.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 204,358 - Reviews: 827 - Favs: 1,646 - Follows: 2,013 - Updated: 2/13/2018 - Published: 3/10/2016 - Judy H., Nick W., B. Clawhauser, Chief Bogo
Time in Collision by M-Angel 05 reviews
In a freak of nature accident Yona and company end up in the far past. Separated when they arrive, Yona is found by a group of men that strangely seem familiar to her soul. Things quickly fall into place when Yona meets the man with red hair like her own. Once the group finds each other they must find a way back home before something bad occurs.
Akatsuki no Yona/暁のヨナ - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 48,519 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 1/29/2018 - Published: 12/10/2017 - [Yona, King Hiryuu] Hak, Four Dragon Warriors - Complete
Useless When Wet: Royai Comedy Stories by MoonStarDutchess reviews
This is a collection of Royai comedy oneshots.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,755 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/18/2018 - Published: 9/26/2015 - [Riza H., Roy M.] - Complete
Zootopia: Firewatch by Bluelighthouse reviews
After dealing with some hard times in the city Nick takes a summer job as a fire watcher in a national park outside of Zootopia. Trying to get away from it all and find solitude Nick instead finds another fire watcher named Judy. Who is she? Will he risk letting someone he cant even see in? Keep your eyes open Nick, there is smoke on the horizon!
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 116,608 - Reviews: 591 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 545 - Updated: 1/7/2018 - Published: 1/3/2017 - Complete
You're Everything I Want (And Nothing I Can Keep) by QueenoftheWilderwest reviews
"Prove it. Bring her along this weekend, and prove it to everyone." After a little white lie, Hiccup has to do something drastic to avoid embarrassing himself at a family reunion. Lost for any other ideas, Hiccup asks his best friend to pretend to be his girlfriend, just for a day. What could possibly go wrong? [Fake Dating AU]
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 81,352 - Reviews: 682 - Favs: 815 - Follows: 745 - Updated: 12/31/2017 - Published: 7/22/2016 - [Hiccup, Astrid] - Complete
Prejudice Dies Hard by Reverend Archangel reviews
Four years have passed since the Night Howlers ordeal. As such, much has occurred for Officers Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps; both who have grown used to coping with the habitual routine of upholding the law. But, things are far from perfect for these partners as they struggle with societies prejudices, all along with a secret that could tear both them and the 1st Precinct apart.
Zootopia - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 252,317 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 726 - Follows: 952 - Updated: 12/15/2017 - Published: 3/12/2016 - [Judy H., Nick W.]
Paranoia by FireStorm1991 reviews
When Vegeta and Kakarot are sent to Earth to eradicate all life, they are met with an already purged planet and one survivor, a young girl who seems traumatized by recent events. Deciding to return home, they bring the girl and learn of a new enemy as well as facing their tyrannous king.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 30 - Words: 107,361 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 12/6/2017 - Published: 2/16/2012 - [Bulma, Vegeta]
Finding the Way to Forever by Destinies Entwined reviews
Spoilers through Chapter 58. With everything they have been through, the struggle between what they want and what is right is evident. Hiyori's been reflecting on what it means to be tied by the red string of fate. Yato can't live without her in his life, yet needs to protect her. How does a vagrant minor god grant the wish of "forever"? Rated for future chapters.
Noragami/ノラガミ - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 35,331 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 11/17/2017 - Published: 1/24/2016 - [Yato, Hiyori I.]
The Blacksmith's Apprentice by harrypanther reviews
AU. Hiccup never took the shot on that fateful night-and the war continued. Three years later, Berk is beset by dragon raids and hostile tribes while the boy who should have saved the island is merely the assistant in the forge. With only Astrid as his friend, fate gives Hiccup one more chance to end the war and become the hero he was meant to be. Hiccstrid.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 42 - Words: 199,480 - Reviews: 1082 - Favs: 1,106 - Follows: 882 - Updated: 11/10/2017 - Published: 4/2/2017 - Astrid, Hiccup, Stoick, Toothless - Complete
WildeHopps Week: Something More by Starfang's Secrets reviews
Caught in her own lie, Judy asks Nick to pretend to be her boyfriend while her parents are in town. Secretly harboring romantic feelings for the doe, Nick agrees to it. Collaboration with ADeadMissionary for WildeHopps Week!
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,778 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 11/5/2017 - Published: 10/30/2017 - [Judy H., Nick W.] - Complete
incorruptible by hiyoris-scarf reviews
"You've been a surprise from the start, little human girl. You've accomplished for a long time what most humans cannot, and straddled the divide between our world and your own. Perhaps you will shock us all again."
Noragami/ノラガミ - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 54,220 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 10/20/2017 - Published: 2/1/2016 - [Yato, Hiyori I.] Yukine, Vaisravana V./Bishamonten - Complete
Dusted (A Zootopia Story) by DrekkDeina reviews
Six months into their partnership and a year since the Nighthowlers incident, Judy and Nick are pulled into a convoluted plan involving a shadowy villain with cryptic words and motives. They must also come to grips with a discovery of both their feelings towards one another and past events come to light. All of this starting with Nick becoming exposed to modified Nighthowler toxin.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 28 - Words: 163,239 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 414 - Follows: 486 - Updated: 10/7/2017 - Published: 2/11/2017 - [Judy H., Nick W.] B. Clawhauser, Chief Bogo
Dragon Ball Z: A Good Man by SwanofWar reviews
Book 1: In the months since Majiin Buu's defeat, peace has been restored to the planet Earth and our heroes have returned to their families to enjoy the fruits of their labor. But an unexpected threat lurks in the depths of space, a fleet called The Justice, headed by six lawmen, with a mission of capturing members of Lord Frieza's regime, and Prince Vegeta is next on their list...
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Crime - Chapters: 75 - Words: 424,207 - Reviews: 1186 - Favs: 540 - Follows: 553 - Updated: 10/1/2017 - Published: 12/5/2013 - Goku, Bulma, Trunks, Vegeta - Complete
Sweeten the Bitter Dregs by Vathara reviews
Getting out of Kongokaku alive took everything they had. Hunters, refugees, survivors; and there was that little matter of torches back in Kongokaku... Now what?
Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress/甲鉄城のカバネリ - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 47,743 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 39 - Published: 9/26/2017 - Mumei, Ikoma, Ayame Y., Kurusu - Complete
In and Out of Love by AngloFalcon reviews
A chronicle of the deepening love between Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps. From first dates and meeting the parents to police corruption and a dark threat hunting from the shadows. Events both jeopardize their friendship and draw them closer. Prejudice and promises. Loyalty and confrontations. In Zootopia, no one says you can't dream dangerously. The dream they share takes two.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 204,324 - Reviews: 954 - Favs: 855 - Follows: 1,070 - Updated: 9/25/2017 - Published: 4/12/2016 - [Nick W., Judy H.]
The Masks We Wear by TB584 reviews
Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps find themselves poised for their greatest challenge yet: romance and discovering what a relationship truly is. After all, love is complicated, especially between predator and prey. Shameless Judy X Nick pairing
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 87,274 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 874 - Follows: 1,207 - Updated: 9/15/2017 - Published: 3/22/2016 - Judy H., Nick W.
A Mark of Insanity by thequeenofpeace14 reviews
Doctor Harleen Quinzel never expected her soulmate to end up being her first ever patient at Arkham Asylum, The Joker. But the soulmate identifying tattoos never lie. A Joker/Harley fic with a Soulmate twist. AU. Sexual themes, violence. M rate soon.
Suicide Squad - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 70,416 - Reviews: 564 - Favs: 711 - Follows: 879 - Updated: 9/11/2017 - Published: 8/27/2016 - [Harley Quinn, The Joker]
Personally, I'd Rather Lick Sand by orchidvines reviews
Lizzy is feisty and spirited. Darcy, not so much.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,904 - Reviews: 1096 - Favs: 1,469 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 9/4/2017 - Published: 11/15/2008 - Complete
Two Left Feet by Starfang's Secrets reviews
The ZPD Charity Gala is just a month away, and, as the first rabbit officer, Judy Hopps is required to attended. There's just one, teeny tiny problem: she can't dance. Not wanting to make a fool of herself, she seeks professional help. With a fox as a teacher, how will things end for her? AU WildeHopps
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,983 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 8/28/2017 - Published: 8/27/2017 - [Judy H., Nick W.] - Complete
A Bunny CAN Go Savage by Fox in the hen house reviews
What if Nick had never saved those blueberries? What if Bellweather had the real serum? And what if an injured bunny risked it all for her friend? Can their friendship merely survive the strain or will it strengthen them even more? (Rated M for future stuff)
Zootopia - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 46 - Words: 419,735 - Reviews: 1479 - Favs: 1,133 - Follows: 1,062 - Updated: 8/27/2017 - Published: 12/1/2016 - [Judy H., Nick W.] Finnick, OC - Complete
Still Crazy by MelShep reviews
It's been six months. In six months Harley Quinn's life has turned upside down. Nothing is as it was, and slowly she tries to put the pieces back together. But nothing in Harley's world is simple. Not when she has Him watching her every move. Will the King and Queen of Gotham find themselves reunited? Or will Harley have to find a way to survive on her own?
Suicide Squad - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 80,345 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 8/27/2017 - Published: 5/7/2017 - Harley Quinn, The Joker, Bruce Wayne/Batman
Fox On The Run by Johnsoneer reviews
Nick has vanished, and for some reason the ZBI are after him. One thing that is clear is that Nick has been keeping many secrets from his partner. Judy has a choice: to help him or help bring him in. Either way, she needs to catch him first.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 111,512 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 8/27/2017 - Published: 2/26/2017 - Judy H., Nick W., OC, Jack Savage - Complete
Stars by TMBrown reviews
Nick and Judy write e-mails back and forth as Nick struggles to adapt to the world of being a ZPD Academy trainee, and Judy tries to tackle her next case with a temporary unhelpful partner.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 19 - Words: 19,613 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 510 - Follows: 370 - Updated: 7/26/2017 - Published: 4/2/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
Sparks Fly, Tires Skid by orchidvines reviews
Elizabeth and Darcy meet at the scene of a car crash. They do not politely exchange insurance information. Modern AU. Completed.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,499 - Reviews: 1664 - Favs: 2,442 - Follows: 1,106 - Updated: 7/21/2017 - Published: 11/16/2010 - Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy - Complete
Always my Sly Bunny, Always my Dumb Fox by Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps reviews
Judy and Nick are nigh inseparable, and have become standard bearers for peace between predator and prey in Zootopia. Though with a high profile in the ZPD, they have become high profile targets themselves. If the evil that looms in the dark recesses of the city manages to tear their relationship apart, will the rest of Zootopia crumble with it? Coverart by Ziegelzeig & Zl0tty
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 324,537 - Reviews: 1796 - Favs: 1,237 - Follows: 1,290 - Updated: 6/4/2017 - Published: 4/9/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
Apologies by Erasmusmaus reviews
An alternate universe wherein Nick Wilde decides to head to Bunnyburrows in order to find Judy Hopps nearly three months after the press conference.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 49,709 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 437 - Follows: 547 - Updated: 5/24/2017 - Published: 6/11/2016 - [Judy H., Nick W.] Chief Bogo, Bonnie H.
Bunny and the Fox by CartoonNerd12 reviews
A Beauty and the Beast AU. This is basically what would have happen if Nick never betrayed Mr. Big and before Judy went to the academy.
Zootopia - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,610 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 5/20/2017 - Published: 5/7/2016 - [Nick W., Judy H.] Mr. Big, Fru Fru - Complete
Crazy in love by MelShep reviews
Harleen Quinzel is trying to prove herself as a doctor of psychiatry, in a corrupt asylum full of liars, thieves, and thugs (not to mention the patients). The only thing keeping her going is the strange relationship building between her and one of her more fascinating patients. But what does the Joker want with her? (A twisted love story: more romance, less abuse, than comics.)
Suicide Squad - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 114,886 - Reviews: 435 - Favs: 533 - Follows: 392 - Updated: 4/25/2017 - Published: 11/13/2016 - Harley Quinn, The Joker, Bruce Wayne/Batman - Complete
Integrity, Trust, and Bravery by Keftense reviews
Night Howler has resurfaced with a dark connection to the ZPD. Nick Wilde questions what it means to be an officer as Judy is hospitalized from an assassination attempt. Hot on the trail of the drug, Nick finds unlikely allies in the reptilian citizens of the Canals District and together they find it leading to a reckoning within the ZPD, and it will start with weapon's fire.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 16 - Words: 62,143 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 4/5/2017 - Published: 12/15/2016 - Judy H., Nick W., Chief Bogo, Mr. Big - Complete
Remember Me by AnotherSentimentalFool reviews
NOT ABANDONED! Please see profile for update on story (6/14/18). How would the events of Pride and Prejudice be altered if Fitzwilliam Darcy had the foreknowledge that Elizabeth Bennet was his future wife and perfect match? AU/Regency
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 44 - Words: 268,214 - Reviews: 3576 - Favs: 1,987 - Follows: 3,222 - Updated: 4/4/2017 - Published: 4/7/2015 - [Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy] Jane, Col. Fitzwilliam
Zootopia 2 Learning Curve by Irual reviews
Are they rookie cops? Yes, yes they are. Will that stop them? No, no it won't. Judy and Nick may have solved the biggest criminal conspiracy to hit Zootopia in decades, but that doesn't mean they know the ins and outs of the ZPD they have to learn like every other officer, by having trainers and making mistakes. What's so hard about that? Apparently, quite a bit. [Nick X Judy]
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 100,640 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 1/18/2017 - Published: 4/4/2016 - Judy H., Nick W.
To Live Again by niteryde reviews
After Buu's defeat, Vegeta finds that his third shot at life just might be his best yet.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 84,676 - Reviews: 906 - Favs: 1,138 - Follows: 1,125 - Updated: 1/16/2017 - Published: 2/4/2012 - [Bulma, Vegeta] Trunks, Bra
Laugh Like You Love Me: Mad(ly in) Love by NeverBeenNormal1701 reviews
Another Joker and Harleen Arkham origin story. When the movie just doesn't go into the relationship the way you wished it would, you just have to try to do it yourself. Harleen heads to Arkham, meets the Joker and well...we know the rest.
Suicide Squad - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 38,278 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 1/13/2017 - Published: 10/31/2016 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
The Fox In Bunny Burrows by DukePony reviews
About 2 years after the Night-Howlers case, Nick and Judy have been dating for... 2 years. However, After accidentally proposing to Judy, Nick must endure meeting her family for the first time at Stu and Bonnie's 25'th wedding anniversary. How will the carrot farmers take the fact that their little bunny is dating a fox, let alone marrying one? Rated T for "adult themes"/jokes
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,213 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 397 - Follows: 341 - Updated: 12/18/2016 - Published: 4/15/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
Of Stars, Steam, and Pride by LadyVegeets reviews
Bulma learns that the last man in the galaxy she wants to be with, is the one man she can't be without. (Find here: Pride and Prejudice in SPACE and with Steampunk themes. Where Vegeta is Mr.Darcy, and Bulma is Elizabeth Bennet. Winner of the Prince and Heiress 2016 literature challenge.) [Cover art by Rutbisbe]
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 36,616 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 11/25/2016 - Published: 10/26/2016 - [Vegeta, Bulma] [Goku, Chi-Chi] - Complete
My Nobody by PizzaAngel99 reviews
"They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I'm the one who falls in love." My take on Joker and Harley's first meeting, and everything beyond. (Suicide Squad) "Anything you say can and will be held agaisnt you. So only say my name."
Suicide Squad - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,594 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 566 - Follows: 711 - Updated: 11/23/2016 - Published: 7/30/2016 - Harley Quinn, The Joker
One Hundred Kisses by Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps reviews
"How about a wager. If you don't like me after one hundred surprise kisses, then I have to do whatever you want me to do for a day. But if you do like me," the fox grinned. "Then you have to wear something for me. We have a deal?" Judy looked at Nick's outstretched paw. This would be the easiest bet she ever made. "Deal." Cover art by charliebarkinq on tumblr
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 100 - Words: 194,893 - Reviews: 3630 - Favs: 1,980 - Follows: 1,805 - Updated: 11/23/2016 - Published: 5/14/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
One Hundred Percent by Kulkum reviews
Nick Wilde has lost three years of his life after being injured in the line of duty. Desperately trying to remember, he wonders why everyone around him seems to be hiding something... Future fic
Zootopia - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 28,915 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 612 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 11/19/2016 - Published: 9/26/2016 - Judy H., Nick W., B. Clawhauser, Finnick - Complete
The Pursuit by Lagarde reviews
The Pursuit picks up where Zootopia left off, moving forward with the growing friendship between Nick and Judy, as well as their next case. This story does contain some violence and mature themes, though most are later in the story. Expect some drama along the way, as this story is NOT short and will twist and turn over its course.
Zootopia - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 138,063 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 300 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 11/10/2016 - Published: 9/29/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
Season's Change by Sombereyes reviews
Direct sequel to "Keeper of His Heart", Livius continues to have troubles with his waging emotions and profound desires. Meanwhile, Nike struggles to find her own confidence as this strange, almost taboo romance, continues to be complicated in more ways than one.
Soredemo Sekai wa Utsukushii - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 40,135 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 10/14/2016 - Published: 8/6/2014 - [Livius, Nike R.] - Complete
Ode to Carrots by CarnelianFox reviews
While Judy and Nick are on patrol, Judy spots Nick writing something on a yellow piece of paper. When she finally reads it, her relationship with Nick changes forever. When Nick's mother gets kidnapped shortly after, can Judy keep Nick from spiraling into turmoil as his past rears its ugly head?
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 23 - Words: 40,199 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 368 - Follows: 389 - Updated: 9/11/2016 - Published: 3/19/2016 - [Judy H., Nick W.] [Finnick, OC] - Complete
In the Shadows by niteryde reviews
Someone has neither forgotten nor forgiven the terror the Saiyan prince once inflicted across the universe, so long ago. And now that Vegeta has a family of his own, it's the perfect time to return the favor...
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 17 - Words: 121,682 - Reviews: 1142 - Favs: 820 - Follows: 812 - Updated: 8/29/2016 - Published: 2/20/2011 - [Bulma, Vegeta] Trunks, Bra
Weddings, Lifemates and Love by Queequegg reviews
A year after Nick joined the force, Nick and Judy have built the perfect life: roommates, partners and best friends, the two are practically inseparable. But while attending a coworker's wedding, Nick manages to spill a little more information than he had ever intended to share.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 32,176 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 557 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 8/20/2016 - Published: 4/2/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
The Funnies? or Boxes? Diaries by ktrk5 reviews
What to expect when your expecting Funnies? or Boxes? Nick & Judy Wilde are in for a wilde ride.
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 26,214 - Reviews: 449 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 621 - Updated: 8/18/2016 - Published: 3/5/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
The Road Trip by NeonJackal214 reviews
To celebrate Nick's graduation from the Police Academy, Nick and Judy decide to go on a road trip to try to visit a remote and beautiful part of the mountains. Judy wants to convince Nick to confront his past, and Nick... well, Nick has some other things he needs to confront. What could possibly go wrong?
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,884 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 8/15/2016 - Published: 6/12/2016 - Judy H., Nick W., OC
The Good Cop and the Bad Cop - Zootopia by Joltthejolteon reviews
When an out-of-the-blue gift from the super-famous Gazelle sends Nick and Judy to the Bunny Burrow for a week, romance can't help but blossom. However, there's an urgent case waiting for them when they return, and it's one of the darkest Zootopia has ever faced. Can they keep themselves together, assuming they keep their lives? Zootopia - Nick x Judy
Zootopia - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 45,522 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 471 - Updated: 8/12/2016 - Published: 3/12/2016 - Complete
DECLARACIONES by Sherrice Adjani reviews
ONE-SHOT. En este mundo de caos lo que menos importa es la condición social. Kuruso regresa al tren después de su caía. Ayame le confiesa sus sentimientos, esperando que el samurai pueda corresponderlos.
Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress/甲鉄城のカバネリ - Rated: K - Spanish - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,598 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/10/2016
A Life Revealed by PyreFerret reviews
Nick has recently joined the police force and his new life is beginning. Judy is the revered bunny cop who saved the city and proved those in Zootopia can really be anything. The two start solving cases together, dealing with the changes in the city, hoping things stay the same between them. However, things aren't as they seem in this city, and new stories are about to be told...
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 63 - Words: 198,693 - Reviews: 469 - Favs: 387 - Follows: 444 - Updated: 7/9/2016 - Published: 4/1/2016 - Judy H., Nick W.
Dysfunctional Ties by FireStorm1991 reviews
Kakarot and Bulma are siblings, separated at a young age when their parents go through a divorce. They are reunited in college, but Bulma is not very responsive to her brother and refuses to talk to him. The only one she opens up to is his best friend.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 45 - Words: 174,823 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 7/3/2016 - Published: 2/29/2012 - [Bulma, Vegeta] - Complete
Worlds Apart by FoxStang reviews
In an alternate, parallel universe to the Zootopia of the film, Judy Hopps never left her hometown to become a police officer. Meanwhile, Officer Nicholas P. Wilde of ZPD Precinct One is dispatched to a little farming community called Bunnyburrow...
Zootopia - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 32,106 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 296 - Follows: 416 - Updated: 6/18/2016 - Published: 3/27/2016 - Judy H., Nick W.
The Zootopian Dream by heat3000 reviews
Two years after the Night Howler Incident, the city of Zootopia is in decline. Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps become snarled in controversy when a minor, open-and-shut crime sets in motion a chain of events far larger than anyone in the city can imagine. Now, the duo is racing to piece together who is committing these crimes - can they be stopped before the duo becomes the next target?
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 86,327 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 6/13/2016 - Published: 3/31/2016 - Judy H., Nick W., B. Clawhauser, Chief Bogo
When the First Love Ends by Taiyou no Yume reviews
When Usui and her broke up four years ago, Misaki was convinced she was never going to see him again. But, fate had something different in store for them and suddenly she finds Usui in front of her again. He looks almost the same as she remembered. Except now he's down on one knee with a diamond ring in his hand.
Maid Sama! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 48,892 - Reviews: 391 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 6/8/2016 - Published: 6/14/2015 - [T. Usui, Misaki A.] - Complete
Dragon's Creed by livvi695 reviews
Toothless rescued Hiccup during the final exam and evaded capture by leaving with Hiccup. Berk acts as if Hiccup never existed,except Astrid who cant forget that magical flight. But what happens when Hiccup unexpectedly comes back with some new friends and some big differences.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 76,842 - Reviews: 665 - Favs: 1,087 - Follows: 999 - Updated: 5/20/2016 - Published: 11/8/2010 - [Astrid, Hiccup] - Complete
CQC by Blenderguy15 reviews
(One-Shot) Judy challenges Nick to a friendly sparring contest. What could go wrong?
Zootopia - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,585 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 34 - Published: 5/13/2016 - [Judy H., Nick W.] - Complete
In the Event of an Emergency by Bearmauls reviews
Before Nick can start his first day on the streets of Zootopia, helping to make the world a better place, there are some important papers he needs to sign at the station. If only Judy would help him get all the information filled in… One-shot, hints of JudyxNick.
Zootopia - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,359 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 53 - Published: 5/6/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
Hot Fuzz by MalKontent reviews
Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde are the hardest-working mammals in all of the ZPD precincts, and it's been noticed. The pair are forced to take a break, reassigned to a countryside town where there hasn't been a serious crime reported in over twenty years. Who knows how they'll deal with this change in pace, and is there more to the sleepy town than it seems? - Cover by Littleivy25
Zootopia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 15 - Words: 58,613 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 4/28/2016 - Published: 4/2/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
The Fact that we're a Couple by Strangershadow reviews
"Usui, you idiot!"- a common phrase used in Misaki and Usui's relationship. Be it in the zoo, at home, dinner with the parents, school, cafe-they're always fighting, yet still couldn't be happier with each other. Light, fluffy one-shots.
Maid Sama! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 62,775 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 339 - Follows: 299 - Updated: 4/25/2016 - Published: 4/23/2011 - T. Usui, Misaki A.
the plunge by sunny-bear reviews
Judy's life is nothing like a romance novel.
Zootopia - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,309 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 537 - Follows: 144 - Published: 3/15/2016 - Judy H., Nick W. - Complete
The Dark Duke by okieday17 reviews
When Vegeta, a 19th Century British Duke, comes to take away the American Heiress' Bulma Briefs brother, he never expected to feel such passion for the infuriating woman. Historical romance, DBZ characters. Rated M for later chapters
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 48 - Words: 372,074 - Reviews: 797 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 1/30/2016 - Published: 6/29/2011 - Bulma, Vegeta
Perfect Bride by An Unknown Foreign Beauty reviews
AU. After the accident at the matchmaker's. Mulan is married off to Shang to save her family from disgrace. After a horrible misunderstanding Shang joins the war and Mulan returns to her father's home to join the army in her father's place. When Shang begins to develop feelings for the newest boy in his troop, then he finds out he is actually the wife he left behind...
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 48,967 - Reviews: 572 - Favs: 1,036 - Follows: 826 - Updated: 12/11/2015 - Published: 11/1/2014 - Mulan, Shang, Fa Zhou, The Emperor - Complete
Play Dead by lezlarr reviews
All-human A/U. Vegeta, a mercenary, is given the task of killing heiress Bulma Briefs. But what are the consequences when the hit goes awry? M for language, violence, and adult themes.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 61,493 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 11/14/2015 - Published: 7/6/2012 - Vegeta, Bulma
Road to Somewhere by Lady Librarian reviews
What began as a child's story has now become an international bestseller. After 10 years of defeinding what really happened, Chihiro stops believing. Until she takes a road to somewhere and learns some things can't be forgotten. Book 1 of the Kamikakushi Saga.
Spirited Away - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 302,475 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 128 - Published: 11/13/2015 - Chihiro O., Kohaku N., Rin, OC - Complete
The Path of Water by Arlia'Devi reviews
Volume Two. In this sequel, Chihiro and Haku face new adversaries while living in the Imperial Palace. Haku, now Lord of the Eastern Lands, must juggle his responsibilities as trouble brews in the west, all the while trying to stay by Chihiro's side. Chihiro, a human living among spirit nobles, finds she has her own problems to deal with.
Spirited Away - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 53 - Words: 215,448 - Reviews: 1135 - Favs: 515 - Follows: 538 - Updated: 10/28/2015 - Published: 12/12/2012 - Chihiro O., Kohaku N.
Fateful by TheGoldenPlume reviews
#19. He had everything in the tips of his fingers; or so he thought until he get to meet her. Now, more than ever, Usui Takumi wanted nothing more but to possess that amber-eyed woman who, literally speaking, came crashing into his word like a falling star. But can a love so untimely and not destined turn into something... fateful?
Maid Sama! - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 275,525 - Reviews: 726 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 9/9/2015 - Published: 3/9/2014 - Misaki A., T. Usui - Complete
Changing of the ways by Lumpyness reviews
Set immediately after the events of Reconciliation, this tale concludes my three-part variation on the original How to Train Your Dragon plot. Please read The Traitor and then Reconciliation before viewing this story, otherwise nothing will make sense. Rated T just in case - I personally don't have a view on age censorship, so I can't really be too cautious here.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 42,916 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 9/7/2015 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Hiccup, Astrid - Complete
Holidays Are Heavy by MoonStarDutchess reviews
Since she was a child, Riza felt haunted during the holidays, but with help from the people who love her, she learns to recover and realizes holidays aren't always heavy. Royai
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,600 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 7/24/2015 - Published: 2/24/2015 - [Riza H., Roy M.] - Complete
Fate Favors the Fearless by Freyjadour reviews
AU Zelink: "I will protect you for as long as I have too. I will run where you need to run, I will hide wherever you need to hide, and I will fight anyone you need to fight. I swear on these words and if I break them, may Death drag me down himself."
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 239,503 - Reviews: 647 - Favs: 587 - Follows: 585 - Updated: 6/25/2015 - Published: 4/4/2008 - Link, Zelda
Of Chivalry and Napping Knights by L.C. Li reviews
He hadn't been planning on entering the tournament until one of the snooty princes issued a challenge for Yona's hand. What a nuisance. — Hak:Yona, in another timeline.
Akatsuki no Yona/暁のヨナ - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,780 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 743 - Follows: 131 - Published: 5/15/2015 - Yona, Hak - Complete
Divine Reborn by Muse of Fanfiction reviews
Melindia Hagne always wondered if there was more to her life than just being a simple florist with a secret passion for everything Greek mythology, yet she does not know why. But the appearance of a mysterious yet so familiar stranger began to change everything. Who was he to her? What exactly had her mother done in the past? Why does it seem like everything was not what it seemed?
Greek Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 63 - Words: 231,925 - Reviews: 578 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 3/17/2015 - Published: 9/30/2013 - [Hades, Persephone]
Hotel Transylvania! by Stone-Man85 reviews
The Five-Steak Hotel, owned and visited by the greatest monsters in the world... is about to have the one guest they wished didn't have coming over: A pair of Humans.
Hotel Transylvania - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 68,322 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 3/12/2015 - Published: 9/30/2012 - Jonathan/Jonny/Jonny-stein, Mavis
And it happened on a Christmas night by DragonRyuuji reviews
[FINISHED]"Ryuuji!" The girl cried, her feet cold and hurting from running on the pavement. It was all over. Suddenly, a gentle voice appeared behind her. "I'm right here." The boy said. Picks up from episode 19, but stretches over a long period of time eventually. Ryuuji never goes to the christmas party, and it changes his and Taiga's lives forever.
Toradora! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 88,914 - Reviews: 342 - Favs: 511 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 2/20/2015 - Published: 4/25/2012 - Complete
Shang by AJ Garcia reviews
We know Mulan's side of the story, but what about mine? I had to train a band of hooligans before almost getting shot in battle! Oh, and let's not forget how I almost drowned in a wave of snow. But, I must say that nothing could top with the weak, tiny, punk that seemed to always, always bring trouble. You know who I am talking about. I should have sent him home sooner...
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 28,487 - Reviews: 431 - Favs: 523 - Follows: 523 - Updated: 1/23/2015 - Published: 4/18/2013 - Mulan, Shang - Complete
Towards the Setting Sun by aleaiactaest93 reviews
Five months after the Hun invasion Shang appears at the Fa Family home. He is to head an army going west, and has an important message for Mulan. What will happen? A tale of hardship and the love that blooms in the midst of battle. R&R! Disclaimer inside!
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 89,914 - Reviews: 541 - Favs: 486 - Follows: 661 - Updated: 1/8/2015 - Published: 12/13/2009 - Mulan, Shang
Journey to Evil Queen by LadyStina reviews
premovie-AU. Everything is going wrong for Roxanne and she decides to find Megamind and enlist his help. She may have found more than she bargained for. But maybe, just maybe, she found everything that she needs.
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 65,386 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 214 - Updated: 11/21/2014 - Published: 4/5/2014 - Megamind, Roxanne R.
Becoming Lífþrasir by Midoriko-sama reviews
People often wondered what kept Hiccup going during those early years. When that single, most-treasured thing is taken from him, there is little left to keep him on Berk. The day Stoick returns, and the day before the best recruit is finally chosen, Hiccup leaves Berk; little knowing that he would one day return under ... strange circumstances. H/A, R/F, rated for violence.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 121,591 - Reviews: 1056 - Favs: 4,138 - Follows: 1,626 - Updated: 8/14/2014 - Published: 1/24/2014 - [Hiccup, Astrid] Stoick - Complete
Bundle of Joy by escalus01 reviews
All actions, no matter how necessary have consequences. Some consequences are life-threatening, others are just as challenging but in a different way.
Fate/stay night - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,751 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 359 - Updated: 7/12/2014 - Published: 12/23/2011 - Rin T., Shirō E.
WRITING IN WATER Book 1: The Waterbender's Scroll by greeneyes117 reviews
The GAang's adventures from Katara's pov. Her REAL diary - the one she didn't want anyone to see. Her thoughts, and the growing complexities of her feelings throughout. Canon-compliant within interpretative limits. COMPLETE
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 97 - Words: 674,110 - Reviews: 680 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 6/18/2014 - Published: 8/3/2012 - [Aang, Katara] unknown 9 - Complete
Dark Days by Swamp Dragon Princess reviews
In an apocalyptic Hyrule, where Zelda has been missing for months following her research on a deadly zombie virus that threatens to wipe out the kingdom, leaving Link to care for their young son whilst leading a rag-tag band of survivors. In the midst of his despair, two mercenaries show up offering hope and a solution to our hero. AU, multi-genre, many characters and plot twists.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,956 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/24/2014 - Published: 7/9/2013 - Link, Zelda, Dark Link, Telma
Vaster Than Empires by Ayezur reviews
AU. Early summer, 1601. The Western Army is defeated; the country stands, uneasy, under the hand of the Tokugawa. Kaoru Kamiya, whose family was on the losing side, has been sold into marriage for the sake of peace. Her new husband is a legend, a demon bound in human form, marked by his blood-lust and his bright red hair. However, legends have a way of being not exactly... true.
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 170,908 - Reviews: 850 - Favs: 1,843 - Follows: 983 - Updated: 5/8/2014 - Published: 2/20/2013 - [Kaoru, Kenshin] - Complete
Silver Pages by 1heartgirl reviews
Second installment of the Books of Gold Series. Evy is gone and jack is lost. The young Spirit Maya has no clue to who she really was, and now she wonders lost, little does she know that she has what Jack needs to save him. (Yes the image to this story was drawn by me. Its is my OC in this story)
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,262 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 4/28/2014 - Published: 1/17/2013 - Jack Frost
The Overlord's Lady by joanhello reviews
What if Megamind really tried to rule the city instead of just messing around with it? An AU that starts with Bernard not being there at the museum. Warnings: sexytimes, cuss words, violence, gore.
Megamind - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 83,801 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 44 - Published: 3/28/2014 - Megamind, Roxanne R., Minion, Hal S./Tighten - Complete
The Expert by joanhello reviews
When Megamind, disguised as Bernard the "expert on all things Megamind", is dating Roxanne, he has the chance to tell her things about himself and pass them off as the results of Bernard's research. Here's a snippet of conversation from one of those dates.
Megamind - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 963 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/20/2014 - Megamind, Roxanne R. - Complete
What Adventures Will Come Next by Watcher of the Hearts reviews
The sequel to What They've Needed All Along. What happens when there's a wedding to plan, the city is constantly calling for the assistance of the hero every moment of the day, and there's a creepy new stranger hanging around?
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,937 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/22/2014 - Published: 5/6/2012 - Megamind, Roxanne R.
The Story of Us by Watcher of the Hearts reviews
Set in the What They've Needed All Along universe.. a collection of one-shots from before, after and maybe even during the story.
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 40,605 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/14/2014 - Published: 3/27/2012
Endlessly by froglady15 reviews
AU. Earth is destroyed and Bulma is sold as a slave trying to find a way out. She happens to catch Vegeta's eye by chance and it goes from there. Under the rouse of being his slave, Vegeta brings her back with him. Being that he's a Prince and she his Slave they aren't supposed to be together but can they find a way? Not your typical slave fic.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 48 - Words: 385,010 - Reviews: 772 - Favs: 506 - Follows: 290 - Updated: 1/2/2014 - Published: 9/3/2012 - [Bulma, Vegeta] Goku, Frieza - Complete
Invictus by Ayezur reviews
AU. In the eleventh year of the Meiji, 1878, Japan still practices chattel slavery. The Tokugawa shogunate still reigns from Edo castle, backed by the infamous Kanryu family and their merchant empire. And Kaoru Kamiya finds an abandoned slave hiding under the docks as she's walking home...
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 145,344 - Reviews: 530 - Favs: 669 - Follows: 386 - Updated: 12/28/2013 - Published: 2/20/2013 - [Sanosuke, Megumi] Kaoru, Kenshin - Complete
Acheronta Movebo by tiger7210 reviews
I fought through a parasite-infested tree, a deadly cave, the belly of a whale, and countless temples.I killed the King of Thieves and saved this land. But when it was all said and done, I was sent back in time by the woman who asked me to do it. This time Hyrule will fall as it has before.But it won't be at the hands of Ganondorf. I saved this kingdom, and I will destroy it again.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 41 - Words: 108,137 - Reviews: 763 - Favs: 369 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 12/4/2013 - Published: 6/9/2012 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Don't Be Scared by Delightness reviews
"I'm not scared", though his actions betrayed him as his palms grew sweaty and his body started to shake. "Are you sure? You could always stop." "Positive", he murmured, then she lean closer to his neck, he could feel her hot breath blow against him making his body shake more then she bit into his neck. Hotel Transylvania Mavis&Johnny
Hotel Transylvania - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,704 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 11/10/2013 - Published: 10/12/2012 - Mavis, Jonathan/Jonny/Jonny-stein
Abducted by An Unknown Foreign Beauty reviews
AU. Rapunzel was not kidnapped by Gothel & grew up as a princess. Her boring royal life is changed when she is abducted by legendary Flynn Rider. She is angry with him at first but soon things change. She falls in love. But she has to return to her royal home where an arranged marriage waits. Still she waits for him to stop by her window and say, "Rapunzel, let down your hair."
Tangled - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 29 - Words: 91,868 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 11/9/2013 - Published: 9/27/2012 - Rapunzel, Flynn R. - Complete
Overheard by Babsy1221 reviews
What if Mr. Darcy had discovered Elizabeth's opinion of him long before the proposal at Rosings? And how would an honest conversation have affected the story?
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 55,332 - Reviews: 425 - Favs: 1,620 - Follows: 583 - Updated: 9/6/2013 - Published: 6/4/2013 - Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy - Complete
The Closed Circle by hmmingbird reviews
In which Lieutenant Hawkeye drives Colonel Mustang to distraction, and he decides he's had quite enough cold showers.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,888 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 541 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 8/7/2013 - Published: 7/23/2013 - Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
Bad To Be Good by Dragon's Lover1 reviews
-AU- Roxanne is engaged to Metro Man. But one day, after Megamind nabs her for yet another plot, he's shocked to discover just how badly the "hero" has been treating her. Now it's time for the villain to save his damsel from the hero. -T for abuse-
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 69,226 - Reviews: 409 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 8/3/2013 - Published: 3/21/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R.
The Myth of Hades and Persephone by Juliette Louise reviews
Persephone has one chance to live, and it lies with...the God of the Dead?
Greek Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 23,013 - Reviews: 656 - Favs: 828 - Follows: 498 - Updated: 7/18/2013 - Published: 10/18/2004 - Hades, Persephone - Complete
It's All About Family by InKsPoT1941 reviews
FINAL CHAPTER IS UP - IT ALL ENDS HERE, FOLKS. Hades tries to reconnect with Persephone in modern-day New York 4,000 years after the battle on Mount Olympus. Of course, things aren't going to be that simple, and after 4,000 years of waiting, there's a whole other set of issues Hades has to deal with than just Demeter. Namely, war.
Greek Mythology - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 44 - Words: 164,068 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 7/10/2013 - Published: 12/2/2012 - Hades, Persephone
How I Met Your Mother by Damonisbae reviews
Trunks asking his father just how he met his mother..and Vegeta remembering it. This happens back in Namek where more things transpire than just trying to get the dragon balls, between Bulma and Vegeta. This is how Bulma broke the tough exterior of the Prince of Saiyans as well as Vegeta remembering his dreaded past,something he wants to forget.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 31,358 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 7/5/2013 - Published: 9/24/2011 - Bulma, Vegeta
The Path of Water by Arlia'Devi reviews
Volume One: Historical scholar Chihiro Ogino stumbles into the Spirit World a decade later to discover alot has changed: Haku's the powerful head of the bathhouse. Allured by the charm of the Spirit World, Chihiro makes a deal with Haku to study under his care for 6 months. The two fall in love, but in a world as alluring as it is dangerous, will the path of water always be smooth?
Spirited Away - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 253,151 - Reviews: 1218 - Favs: 1,006 - Follows: 580 - Updated: 7/1/2013 - Published: 11/20/2011 - Chihiro O., Kohaku N. - Complete
How Do You Love Someone? by Wrayth-Pariah reviews
Jack had been alone until he became a Guardian. But he hadn't realized there were others like him. Invisible, and a bit closed off to the world. And a particular mischievous Immortal who guarded Autumn, holds the key to opening those hearts closed in fear. But Fey isn't sure of herself and her own locked heart.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 31,510 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 6/6/2013 - Published: 11/28/2012 - Jack Frost - Complete
Captivated by Frecklehead reviews
Just another retelling of the Hades and Persephone tale. (COMPLETE)
Greek Mythology - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 48 - Words: 107,780 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 525 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 6/2/2013 - Published: 6/10/2011 - Hades, Persephone - Complete
Marriage of Power by Lolidragon97 reviews
Countess Ayuzawa has been widowed and now the family land is at stake. In order to provide for the good of the people, she sends her oldest daughter, Lady Misaki to wed the powerful Duke, Usui Takumi. Misaki had always dreamed of marrying her childhood friend Lord Hinata but is shocked when her mother announces an arranged marriage. How could she wed and love a complete stranger?
Maid Sama! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 71,577 - Reviews: 1095 - Favs: 791 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 5/31/2013 - Published: 4/10/2013 - Misaki A., T. Usui, Hinata S. - Complete
Broken Down Universe by dragonbabezee reviews
How far would you go to get your family back if you lost them in one stupid moment? Fight foes? Fight the universe? Fight back against time? Fight the very gods? A Mirai timeline/post GT AU. Contains time travel, twists, sci-fi, romance and action! Rated M.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 45 - Words: 229,549 - Reviews: 595 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 5/30/2013 - Published: 1/27/2013 - Bulma, Vegeta - Complete
Touch by NoxWillow reviews
Jack has lived 300 hundred years in isolation, until the day he meets a girl who can finally see him. But why does she have the ability to 'see' and why does it mean she must help the Guardians defeat Pitch? Will Jack finally know what it feels like to be loved and accepted by others or push them away in the process? Jack/OC
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 44,954 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 5/13/2013 - Published: 11/25/2012 - Jack Frost
New Life by Lolidragon97 reviews
Usui has been banished from his family and is reunited with Misaki. They decide to run away together and pursue a fresh start in Japan. They are throwing away everything to be together. To start with nothing but love is the ultimate chance...or test?
Maid Sama! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 44,421 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 4/9/2013 - Published: 3/6/2013 - Misaki A., T. Usui - Complete
A Gentle Touch by CeeCee-chi reviews
A sigh escaped his lips as he unconsciously ran his fingers down her arm. He noticed her shiver and quickly retracted his hand, missing the blush that crept over her cheeks. "Sorry, I know I'm cold." Mother Nature didn't say anything. She couldn't very well tell him that she had actually liked the contact.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 35,132 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 4/6/2013 - Published: 11/28/2012 - Jack Frost, OC
The heart of a knight by cabellosdefuego reviews
Bulma has the heart of an adventurer and builds the ultimate masterpiece to prove it: an armor that no human or alien has ever seen before. Vegeta is the only one who understands the fire burning inside of her and decides to train her, discovering that this little human female was much bolder than he ever thought.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,686 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 3/21/2013 - Published: 11/5/2012 - Vegeta, Bulma
Aspects of Human-Saiyan Bonding by Dark Hope Assassin reviews
Most of her friends thought her crazy for having 'hooked up' with Vegeta, of all people. They thought her insane for caring enough for the man to have his child, to start a family with him. People thought their relationship was disjointed and out of sync because the two of them were so different. People were wrong about them. And these are the reasons why.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,591 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 3/9/2013 - Published: 1/13/2013 - Bulma, Vegeta
Dead by eseiprahs1 reviews
Zombies have taken over. With Metro City now in ruins and zombies lurking about, the ones left have to find a way to survive. In this new dangerous world, people have to learn to put their differences aside and work together. This is a world in which the Megamind movie never happened. Rating may go up to M.
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 19 - Words: 47,521 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 2/24/2013 - Published: 7/21/2012 - Megamind, Roxanne R.
Cloudy Hope by Qille reviews
Darker version of movie. Flint is a cripple, Sam has a brother, and it all changes from there. Takes place before, during, and after the movie. Rated T for some dark/sad parts. Possible Brent/OC, maybe a tiny bit of Tim/OC. Some RIB situations.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 53,647 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/2/2013 - Published: 2/24/2011
Books of Gold by 1heartgirl reviews
When did you stop believing?, One girl had never stopped, living and breathing the stories her mother once told. She now reads them to her brother every night, But one night she finally learns that stories can be true and not everyone has a happy ending. Jack/OC sorry for bad summary D: Second story up "Silver Pages"
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 26,348 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 1/17/2013 - Published: 11/13/2012 - Jack Frost - Complete
If I Can't Love Her by Margot-Eve reviews
AU, based on Beauty & the Beast. Roxanne is a young reporter. While looking for material, she meets Megamind, an alien with a secret. She has only three months to discover that secret and maybe something more than she could ask for.
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 19,410 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 1/6/2013 - Published: 8/19/2011 - Roxanne R., Megamind
The Struggle Of Yin and Yang by Bao Li Na reviews
Mulan and Shang decide to take a big step that will change their lives. However, they still confront each other...Will they ever find balance? CHAPTER 16 UP! Title itself gives summary away...will the truth be out at last?
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 42,395 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 1/3/2013 - Published: 9/21/2003 - Mulan, Shang
Complicated Simplicity by OrangeAfterglow reviews
Their story was a simple one. The battle between the Hero and the Villain. The Villain lost, the Hero won and the good guy always got the Girl. Their story is about to become complicated. Another "What if Metroman didnt quit?" A/U now rated M!
Megamind - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 126,763 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 1/2/2013 - Published: 11/28/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R. - Complete
Memory of Love by KatherineLace reviews
3 years of her waiting for him had finally paid off when they were on the second year of university. But things didn't go well when she saw the woman behind him. What will she do? And can she handle it?
Maid Sama! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 42,067 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 258 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 12/31/2012 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Misaki A., T. Usui - Complete
Snow and Can openers by MakeTheWorldUnusual reviews
I just discovered that Santa is Russian, The Easter bunny hates being called a kangaroo (Even though he looks like one), the Tooth fairy is a large humming bird and Jack Frost is a hottie that can make fantastic snowballs. Awesome right? Yah, and I just fell in love with the winter spirit. Jack/OC DISCONTINUED
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,496 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/28/2012 - Published: 12/1/2012 - Jack Frost - Complete
Blood Orange by MissKeith reviews
Hotel Transylvania. Mavis experiences the world with her zing Jonathan, but nothing quite as overwhelming as her feelings for him...and his sweet sweet human blood. She calls him her blood orange, the forbidden fruit she cannot bite.
Hotel Transylvania - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,512 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 12/28/2012 - Published: 10/7/2012
Behind The Mask by MelodianSkyz reviews
My name is Calla, and I did something wrong. Apparently hitting a guardian with your chemistry book can get you into a lot of trouble. "Hey! What's your name?" He asked me as he leaned closer to me and I did what any sane person would do in this situation. Hit him with my chemistry book. And then run away screaming obscenities. There goes my chances of normality. Peachy... Jack/OC
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,734 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 12/28/2012 - Published: 12/1/2012 - Jack Frost
The Genius In The Slave Quarters by moviefan-92 reviews
Bulma is an astronaut, until she lands on planet Vegeta and becomes a slave. With the prince as her master, she adapts to her life as a slave, using her intelligence to help the saiyans beat the tyrant Frieza while fighting her growing feelings for the saiyan prince and his seduction. COMPLETE
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 156,629 - Reviews: 1046 - Favs: 550 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 12/10/2012 - Published: 1/7/2011 - [Bulma, Vegeta] Gohan, Tarble - Complete
The Naughty List by Prince-Frost reviews
With the fight against Pitch taking its toll on the Guardians, North looks to an old acquaintance, a spirit rightly named Halloween, for help. Jack/OC. "When I said you hold record on naughty list? Ehh, I lied. She holds top place."
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,867 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 12/8/2012 - Published: 12/6/2012 - Jack Frost
Blue by Karli M. Roberts reviews
"It's apart of every Guardian's journey to find their Other Half, their soulmate," he told me, "and now, Jack, it is your turn." Jack/OC
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,169 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 12/2/2012 - Published: 12/1/2012 - Jack Frost
A New Queen, an Old King, and His Curse by InKsPoT1941 reviews
A re-telling of the myth of spring. The gods aren't perfect, Cronus is rising,the Fates are having trouble with their jobs, and on top of it all, Hades gets cursed to be in eternal agony. There's drama, intrigue, unrequited feelings, violence, and plenty grammar mistakes/ typos. Please enjoy; R & R. Rated T for now.
Greek Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 45,797 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 12/2/2012 - Published: 5/19/2012 - Hades, Persephone - Complete
Rise of the Guardians by Tai Ling the Snow Leopard reviews
This is my version of ROTG. It's basically the movie but with my OC as an extra and a few twists. I hope ya enjoy! Rated K but could be T for mild language.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,983 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 11/30/2012 - Published: 11/20/2012 - Jack Frost
The Lady Lubode by Chivalrous Gypsy reviews
After rummaging through her dad's drawers once again, Mavis and Jonathon discover something they never would have expected. Almost every vampires was once a human, and the story of Mavis's mother was definitely one that neither of them would have expected. Rated T for violence and some not-so-strong language.
Hotel Transylvania - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,526 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 11/16/2012 - Published: 11/9/2012 - Dracula, Martha
Without A Voice by LunarSinner reviews
A/U: Bulma has been in a terrible accident causing her to have a broken body and a loss of memories. She can't talk and Vegeta tries to help out as much as he can. It hurts him to know that she doesn't remember him. As her fiance' and her best friend.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,187 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 11/4/2012 - Published: 8/7/2012 - Bulma, Vegeta
Bright as Night by Allendra reviews
Zelink AU - Unfinished business in the past comes to haunt the present, a princess trains to be a Sheikah in the Rebellion, and Link finds himself caught in a struggle amongst agents of evil - each wanting to use him for their own purposes. A tale of forgiveness, redemption, love, and inner darkness that proves the absence of war is not the same as peace. Strongly rated T.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 254,165 - Reviews: 754 - Favs: 374 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 11/4/2012 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Link, Zelda - Complete
The Thrill of the Hunt by SkywardDiamond reviews
In apocalyptic Hyrule, Zelda must venture off alone, leaving behind everyone she knows and loves who has fallen victim to a deadly, maddening illness. Aided by a sacred gilded book she must search for those immune to the ravaging disease while solving the mystery behind it, before she, herself, is hunted down. Set in OoT world. First-person Zelda.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,919 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 10/29/2012 - Published: 5/31/2012 - Link, Zelda
The Choice by reens reviews
Before leading the Viking warriors on a blind mission to Helheim's Gate, Stoick takes desperate measures to secure his son's future. Forcing Hiccup into marriage might be just the thing. Cover image courtesy of IvanGriscenko on deviantart.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 30 - Words: 52,995 - Reviews: 663 - Favs: 2,730 - Follows: 897 - Updated: 10/7/2012 - Published: 9/19/2012 - Hiccup, Astrid - Complete
Hades & Persephone by LadyEbony84 reviews
"The Rape of Persephone" in Greek is actually named "The Abduction of Persephone". An abduction sometimes can be consentual. Myths in time get twisted losing their names and meaning. This is my attempt to retell the most popular love story in greek mythology.
Greek Mythology - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 51,964 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 806 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 9/20/2012 - Published: 5/21/2012 - Hades, Persephone - Complete
Pale Blue Shadows by DreamFlight reviews
Megamind's first kill was entirely by accident… and so was Miss Ritchie's. AU, Dark!fic
Megamind - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 91,349 - Reviews: 437 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 8/3/2012 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R. - Complete
Rain on the Just by N.L. Rummi reviews
Post-film. A former villain and a former hero each try to adapt to the new destinies they've chosen. It's not always easy...especially when a new danger threatens to blow everything apart. - COMPLETE
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 121,124 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 303 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 7/27/2012 - Published: 5/29/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R. - Complete
Filigree by Hunger4Righteousness reviews
The 'Frequent Kidnapping Card' and Megamind's personal weapon - Roxanne wants to know what they have in common and why they deviate from his usual style. She ends up learning more about him, and herself, than she ever expected. (revised 12/15)
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 41 - Words: 217,675 - Reviews: 922 - Favs: 420 - Follows: 289 - Updated: 7/24/2012 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R.
Grow Together by Miss Scarlett 05 reviews
Pre-epilogue Mockingjay. How Katniss and Peeta slowly pick up the pieces and begin again. My version of a fourth book for the Hunger Games series. Secret toastings, lots of plotting, crass drunk Haymitch and even a cake scene.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 23 - Words: 93,243 - Reviews: 1881 - Favs: 4,023 - Follows: 1,632 - Updated: 3/11/2012 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
Avatar: The Fire War Renaissance by BlackRose108 reviews
This story is Complete-In a post-war story, after the Fire Lord's defeat, our heroes strive to keep peace after the war and deal with all the new changes that lie ahead for them and their world. CANON SHIPS Kataang, Maiko, Sukka, Toph x OC
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 70 - Words: 348,229 - Reviews: 1089 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 3/2/2012 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Aang, Katara - Complete
Terminal Twilight by Zelda-Fanatic121 reviews
'This threat has been on the side lines for a long time. It watched as Link grew more powerful, and it saw when he was finally strong enough to rid this realm of Ganondorf. It knows what to expect and just like the Hero has come a long way, it has, too.'
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 121,047 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 2/6/2012 - Published: 8/23/2011 - Link, Zelda - Complete
The Real Treasure in Life by Whisperwings reviews
Alexandra was never happier than she was at the Benboe Inn, but the night the pirates attacked changed everything. Now, she is about to join her best friend Jim on an adventure larger than she ever could have imagined.
Treasure Planet - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 96,760 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 334 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 1/19/2012 - Published: 8/10/2007 - Complete
Homeless Boy by LPphreek reviews
AU. Vegeta crash landed on Earth when he was eleven and stayed with the Briefs for months. After his return to Frieza, his stay has a lasting impact on the entire course of their lives. When they are reunited, the past continues shaping their future.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 73 - Words: 492,986 - Reviews: 2500 - Favs: 957 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 9/5/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Bulma, Vegeta - Complete
Stakes and Leather by cgaussie01 reviews
In a world of vampires and werewolves, Roxanne is shown the other side of Metro City when she is saved by a blue alien who slays vampires for a living. There's action, comedy, romance, and family values dotted throughout. I do hope you enjoy the story.
Megamind - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 124,751 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/13/2011 - Published: 5/24/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R. - Complete
Chambermaid by R.H. Vargas reviews
After the Butler Cafe injury, Misa must nurse Usui back to health in the way only she can. *LIME/LEMON
Maid Sama! - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,801 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 454 - Updated: 7/27/2011 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Misaki A., T. Usui
Temptress by Scarlet-Frost reviews
Roxanne gets tired of waiting for Megamind to notice her feelings and during his next trap decides to take matters into her own hands. Rated M changed to M for a few smutty scenes later on.
Megamind - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 20 - Words: 80,158 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 4/23/2011 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Megamind, Roxanne R. - Complete
Silence of the Sound by ForeverSam reviews
She left to protect him — and herself. Even five years later it seemed like the best choice for everyone involved. But Riza should have known better. Fate has a funny way of making things work — no matter how hard one tries to run away —Royai—
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 55,219 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 417 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 4/9/2011 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Roy M., Riza H. - Complete
Demon by lossehelin reviews
Kaoru had been told her actions were honorable, as her sacrifice to the demon would save many lives. What did their lives mean to her? Only the freedom in the death she was promised would bring her peace.
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 106,030 - Reviews: 1077 - Favs: 1,091 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 4/9/2011 - Published: 11/16/2009 - [Kaoru, Battousai] - Complete
When In Rome by Determamfidd reviews
Three months after the events of 'Talking In Her Sleep', Hiccup and Astrid have settled into their married life. Until a Viking convocation tears Hiccup away, and sends them all on a frantic chase around the known world...
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 144,895 - Reviews: 728 - Favs: 1,337 - Follows: 388 - Updated: 4/3/2011 - Published: 3/9/2011 - Hiccup, Astrid - Complete
Rediscovering Honor by LPphreek reviews
Trunks' journey from the future altered the events of the present, leading to Vegeta becoming super saiyan much earlier. An AU where one change leads to a new reality where Vegeta discovers what it means to be a saiyan of honor.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 63 - Words: 414,435 - Reviews: 1517 - Favs: 716 - Follows: 290 - Updated: 3/25/2011 - Published: 12/25/2010 - Vegeta, Bulma - Complete
Make A Wish by aria710 reviews
AU. What if Bulma does get her original wish for the perfect boyfriend? But what if this wish sends her to one of Frieza's space stations or , more specifically, the Saiyan Prince's quarters? Be careful what you wish for.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 55,674 - Reviews: 680 - Favs: 684 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 2/19/2011 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Bulma, Vegeta - Complete
Talking in Her Sleep by Determamfidd reviews
Hiccup's been away for six months. When he finally comes home, he's... well, maybe Astrid and Ruffnut shouldn't be blamed for their reactions. And they're not the only ones...
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 39,744 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 2,858 - Follows: 826 - Updated: 2/18/2011 - Published: 2/8/2011 - Hiccup, Astrid - Complete
Duty Versus Love by Light-Eco-Sage reviews
:COMPLETE: For the Avatar, choice is merely an illusion. Now Aang must face the ultimate choice a second time: between love and his duty to the world. Rated: Mature. Romance/sexuality. Canon pairings. Kataang, Maiko, George, The Doph
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 51 - Words: 140,305 - Reviews: 858 - Favs: 680 - Follows: 300 - Updated: 1/28/2011 - Published: 9/22/2009 - [Aang, Katara] unknown 9 - Complete
Breathe by Knitchick reviews
Based on the 2005 movie. What would have happened if instead of walking away in anger, they had just taken a breath and closed the scant distance between them during the proposal scene in the rain? A story about forgiveness and overcoming the obstacles of family, friends, society and their own pride and prejudices to find their happy ending. Fluff. Some characters are slightly OOC.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 96,406 - Reviews: 707 - Favs: 2,285 - Follows: 744 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/19/2010 - Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy - Complete
Sibling Rivalry by Darke Angelus reviews
Tarble's unexpected appearance brings back terrible memories and hidden resentments that Vegeta is forced to relive all over again. Can he and his brother ever make their peace? COMPLETE
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 68,721 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 1/11/2011 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Vegeta, Tarble - Complete
The Legend of Zelda: The Island of Rebirth by Infernal Flame Zero reviews
When Link, a cold and merciless mercenary is betrayed by his employer he sets off on a quest to find a special island that is said to hold a special power. Shipwrecked on the island he meets a young girl who shows him a softer side of himself. Link/Zelda
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 89,101 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 10/4/2010 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Link, Zelda - Complete
A Walk in the Dark by Gamegirl27 reviews
He wasn't always the Pumpkin King. In fact, he wasn't always dead. He had a life, friends, a family... What happened to him...?
Nightmare Before Christmas - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Fantasy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 75,242 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 8/17/2010 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Complete
Ying and Yang: Sequel to Making Men by PeaceRoseG'ladheon reviews
Entire second movie in Shang's point of view. Trying to maintain the Shang from the first movie!
Mulan - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 21,789 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/28/2010 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Complete
His Message To Her by bluelily3 reviews
Just a simple one-shot from Vegeta to Bulma. These are the words that he would never say to her. Some of my older work
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 248 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/6/2010 - Vegeta, Bulma - Complete
Making Men by PeaceRoseG'ladheon reviews
This is the entire first movie in Shang's point of view. I might continue this to an in-between for the first and second movies.
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 24,120 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 5/1/2010 - Published: 3/26/2010 - Complete
A Love Story by Allendra reviews
Post OOT Zelink. A young Link moves into the castle with Zelda, thus starting a friendship that grows into more as the years pass. They'll face pirates, old enemies returned for vengeance, and a prince intent on Hyrule's throne. But their biggest battle is the fact that Zelda is royal and Link is not. Rated T for violence, torture, and sensuality.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 45 - Words: 125,836 - Reviews: 852 - Favs: 562 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 4/29/2010 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Link, Zelda, Impa - Complete
Soldier by FearandLoathingXIX reviews
In which Mulan fights, grows, and bruises far too easily: all a part of her journey to manhood. Sort of. Set during the training period of the 'Be a Man' musical number.
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 42,827 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 817 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 4/6/2010 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Complete
A Rush of Blackbirds (Formerly--Speak Not Against the Sun) by 4giveMeJane reviews
Not being able to breath the air at Longbourn after Mr. Collins' longwinded and insincere proposal, Elizabeth heads for the woods where she runs into an injured Mr. Darcy.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 77,019 - Reviews: 1206 - Favs: 4,204 - Follows: 869 - Updated: 4/4/2010 - Published: 2/22/2010 - Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, Mr. Bingley, Jane - Complete
The New Kid by AnAccountThatIsNotUsed reviews
Alternate Universe. At age 16, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable have never met, until now. Kim has been up to her usual world saving business, but what has Ron been doing? Something that Kim probably won't like.
Kim Possible - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 85,761 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 3/26/2010 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Ron S., Kim P. - Complete
The Path Ahead by Liselle129 reviews
Aang and the others have some decisions to make after the eclipse. Now a rewrite of the second half of the third season. Ch 46: Epilogue. The story is complete.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 151,027 - Reviews: 519 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 2/26/2010 - Published: 12/10/2007 - Katara, Aang - Complete
You, Me and the Bourgeoisie by orchidvines reviews
Will Darcy had absolutely everything. Until the accident. In a glimpse of what could have been, he wakes up beside Lizzy Bennet, the artist he was supposed to dump ten years ago. The fork in his path. Still, what the hell happened to his Armani suits?
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 50,053 - Reviews: 1023 - Favs: 1,152 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 2/7/2010 - Published: 6/17/2009 - Complete
While You Were Away by bluelily3 reviews
Bulma is already three months pregnant with Vegeta's son, but he has left her behind. Hurt and confused, she turns to an old friend for comfort. That old friend is Yamcha...
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,671 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/6/2010 - Published: 1/20/2010 - [Bulma, Vegeta] - Complete
Midnight by bluelily3 reviews
Bulma wakes up from a bad dream and goes downstairs to find Trunks there. He also had an unpleasant dream, and he is worried about his father. The two of them discuss Vegeta in the middle of the night.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,238 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Bulma, Trunks, Vegeta - Complete
Bulma Rants About Vegeta by bluelily3 reviews
Bulma decides to put down in words all the things she has learned about her prince over the years. Bulma's POV
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,776 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/20/2010 - [Bulma, Vegeta] - Complete
Reasons to Hate You by thecoldest raindrops are tears reviews
Mulan gives 10 reasons for why she hates Shang, but at the same time, a reason why she can't help but love him all the same. Starting off with Reason 10 going all the way to the NUMBER ONE REASON
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,249 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 8/23/2009
She Walks in Beauty by one mourning dove reviews
A Hades and Persephone story.
Greek Mythology - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 74,303 - Reviews: 490 - Favs: 559 - Follows: 325 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 7/27/2006 - Hades, Persephone - Complete
The Madness of Two by Lexwing reviews
*From Harley's POV* A Sequel to "The Ballad of Harley Quinn." Harley tells Poison Ivy about life with the Joker. A tale in twelve parts.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 41,517 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 6/12/2009 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
An Unfinished Story by thecoldest raindrops are tears reviews
So what ever happened after they left to QuiGong? The movie fails to say. How did Shang find out about Mushu? In this story, the HARD WAY. Read more to find out the story after the sequel. This story is from Shang's point of view unlike the sequel.
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 26,468 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 5/18/2009 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Complete
Dreams of Goodbye by dragongoddess13 reviews
She deserved so much better then me and yet there she was always by my side. bulma/vegeta
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,050 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/20/2009 - Bulma, Vegeta - Complete
To Break a Mind by EmperorJoker09 reviews
Joker and Harley. It's truly quite simple to break a mind, especially when you have such a willing participant. Read how Joker uses his own dark tricks to snap Harley's already brittle mind. Setting: Arkham Asylum Dark/Angst/Romance
Batman - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 56,925 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 4/4/2009 - Published: 12/13/2008 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
The Quest by Angel of Mystery-145 reviews
1871- It was all either of them ever wanted, to share in a life abundant with their music & love. She only hoped their chosen quest would not become their dying finale." E/C *some fantasy* strong sexual situations - based on 2004 movie
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 27 - Words: 104,416 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 3/29/2009 - Published: 1/27/2006 - Erik, Christine - Complete
Clowns Only Love Once by PumpkinMuffin reviews
It was just a way out of Arkham. It was just a way to make millions. But, as it happened, the plan changed. Money has lost all its earthly charm. She was a distraction...his creation became an addiction. He made her laugh...her patient became the doctor.
Batman - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 50,718 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 11/26/2008 - Published: 8/16/2008 - The Joker, Harley Quinn
Leap of Faith by Araeph reviews
Thanks to Shan Yu's devastation, China is weak and prone to internal strife. Mulan has faced war before, but not so close to home. To triumph this time, she must rally the people who know her...but have never seen her succeed. Complete, with epilogue!
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 112,381 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 10/13/2008 - Published: 11/2/2006 - Complete
The Ten Commandments of Writing Zelda Fiction by Davin Sunrider reviews
Obey them, lest ye be consider'd a n00b.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 892 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 32 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Complete
The Ballad of Harley Quinn COMPLETE by Lexwing reviews
Going crazy might be the shortest trip I've even taken. *From Harley's POV*
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,092 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 9/11/2008 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
JxHQ: Arkham Asylum: Tainted Love by princessebee reviews
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: Beautiful, smart, ambitious. But she never counted on The Joker. An all new and different take on the seduction and manipulation which led to her going insane and becoming Harley Quinn. Over 200,000 hits! Thanks all! COMPLETE!
Batman - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 77,749 - Reviews: 631 - Favs: 864 - Follows: 287 - Updated: 8/9/2008 - Published: 4/17/2008 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Little One by Ravyn reviews
After a bargain for her freedom goes awry, Kaoru finds herself bound to her cousin's husband. She is taken to his country to save her life. However, an old danger awaits... BK
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 118,766 - Reviews: 1844 - Favs: 1,755 - Follows: 675 - Updated: 8/8/2008 - Published: 1/22/2006 - [Kenshin, Kaoru] - Complete
Zelda: A Fairytale by Sakurelle reviews
Zelda is a princess in hiding, although she does not know it. Instead, she lives as a common slave, befriending a cursed wolfman named Link, while Ganondorf seeks the power of the long forgotten Triforce mark she bears on her right hand. AU LinkxZelda
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 27 - Words: 67,347 - Reviews: 690 - Favs: 520 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 6/30/2008 - Published: 9/1/2007 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Out of Time by SiriusFan13 reviews
COMPLETE! During a trip to Kyoto with his friends, Himura Kenshin winds up in deep water... thirteen years in the past. How will Kenshin deal with the Revolution again? And how will his friends deal with Battousai, who has traded places with him? R&R!
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 110,937 - Reviews: 1334 - Favs: 1,396 - Follows: 306 - Updated: 3/3/2008 - Published: 11/28/2004 - Kenshin, Battousai - Complete
Lab Monkey by Tempestt reviews
AU VB Bulma has captured Vegeta before he has a chance to escape Earth. She now has him imprisioned in her lab. What will the beautiful scientist do with the deadly prince?
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 162,182 - Reviews: 1281 - Favs: 1,292 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 2/11/2008 - Published: 5/13/2004 - Bulma, Vegeta - Complete
Apotheosis by Miskcat reviews
Roy Mustang discovers that destroying the huge transmutation circle in the buried city beneath Central will be much more difficult than anticipated, with drastic consequences.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 85,932 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 341 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 10/28/2007 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Roy M., Riza H. - Complete
The Mystical Ocarina by Sakurelle reviews
Zelda's eighteenth birthday is quickly approaching and she still hasn't found a suitor. Will three wishes be enough to turn her love, a forest boy named Link, into a worthy prince? LinkxZelda
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 60,466 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/24/2007 - Published: 8/1/2005 - Link, Zelda - Complete
A Family Affair by crosseyedbutterfly reviews
Roy's returned to Central permanently after the events of Shambala, but life isn't quite like it used to be and Riza's about to be saddled with a responsability she never thought she would have. CHAPTER 16 UP. Fini!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 127,352 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 8/12/2007 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
Childhood Impressions by Lady Susan reviews
The final chapter! Lizzy and Darcy meet as children...cementing a deep friendship that will carry them through the years.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 51,945 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 678 - Follows: 210 - Updated: 7/22/2007 - Published: 8/11/2005 - Complete
Chance by Lyxie reviews
I'd figured you'd probably moved on… married some rich prince, forgotten that a goat herder from Ordon had ever loved you, had ever existed.' Zelink, postTP, UNMARKED SPOILERS!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 47,982 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 750 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 7/6/2007 - Published: 6/25/2007 - [Link, Zelda] - Complete
Grocery Store by Aryanne reviews
It seemed like all the appealing ones were taken these days. Or gay. [KK]
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,659 - Reviews: 649 - Favs: 746 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 6/10/2007 - Published: 2/6/2007 - Kaoru, Kenshin - Complete
Spirited Away 2: Return to the Spirit World by moviefan-92 reviews
It's been 12 long years since Chihiro has been to the spirit world, and she wishes she never left. After all this time, she finally finds her way back. But what will it take for her to stay? I'm bad at summaries. COMPLETE
Spirited Away - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 99,914 - Reviews: 6141 - Favs: 3,987 - Follows: 1,444 - Updated: 5/16/2007 - Published: 11/28/2006 - [Chihiro O., Kohaku N.] Zeniba, Kaonashi - Complete
Of Ballet and Bullets by Serenanna reviews
Part 4 of an ongoing series. All it took was one shot to put alot of things into perspective. No pieces of automail, skirts, guns, tuxedoes, or ballet dancers were harmed in the production of this piece of . . . well . . . EdxWinry, RoyxRiza, Lemon.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 134,132 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 5/12/2007 - Published: 7/6/2006 - Roy M., Riza H.
She Plays a Broken Lyre by Serene-Moon-Princess reviews
Zelda and Link like each other, but neither knows. At an upcoming party, they finally muster up the courage to tell the other. One thing leads to another, and they find themselves where they never thought they'd be. Too bad things can't stay peaceful.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 52,962 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 4/16/2007 - Published: 6/22/2006 - Zelda, Link - Complete
The Perfect Gift by Serenanna reviews
On Valentine's Day, finding the perfect gift for that special woman in your life should not be this hard, really. No roses or wrenches were harmed in the production of this piece of fluff . . . well . . . Royai, EdxWin, OneShot.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,528 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/14/2007 - Roy M., Riza H. - Complete
30 Kisses: Mulan and Shang by lightbird reviews
For LJ's 30 Kisses Challenge. 30 moments in the life of Mulan and Shang, some cute and fluffy, some more serious. Last theme up. [COMPLETE]
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 27,185 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 335 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 1/22/2007 - Published: 5/30/2006 - Complete
The Ballad of Li by lightbird reviews
China is under the rule of a new Emperor, whose brutal and excessive rule has brought about famine and suffering throughout the country. Mulan & Shang meet again for the first time in 3 years, fighting on opposite sides. What will happen?
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 66,592 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 1/21/2007 - Published: 11/9/2005
Embarrassed Meeting by foreverlight reviews
Roy's calls an emergency meeting that ends with Riza in his arms
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 138,641 - Reviews: 819 - Favs: 506 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 1/15/2007 - Published: 8/16/2005 - Roy M., Riza H.
Only in Hyrule by CrazygurlMadness reviews
I don't know whether or not I'll become queen, I'm running against a tyrant, every single one of my friends is nuts, and all I want to do is jump my hot blonde publicist's bones. I, Zelda Harkinian, am royally screwed. AU Zelink. 2007 UFO Awards Winner
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 130,308 - Reviews: 1079 - Favs: 1,037 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 1/14/2007 - Published: 9/6/2006 - [Link, Zelda] - Complete
A Year And A Day by mrsmish reviews
Darcy leaves for the Continent after his illfated proposal to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, but a happy family event reunites them a year later
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 78,364 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 1,207 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 10/27/2006 - Published: 5/27/2006 - Complete
Privateer by CrazygurlMadness reviews
"I knew I ought to have forced her to leave with her aunt to the south. But she refused. Of course, of late I finally figured out why. She ought to have been wed a long time ago, before the idea of having a male friend would come along." AU, Zelink.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,635 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 5/6/2006 - Published: 3/9/2006 - [Link, Zelda] - Complete
Beyond the Indigo Veil by Lady Librarian reviews
The War in Ingary may have stopped, for the moment, but an ancient peril emerges from the Dark. Join the cast of Howl's Moving Castle as they go beyond the promise of “happily ever after” in Part I of the Wallmaker Saga.
Howl's Moving Castle - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 52,875 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/8/2006 - Published: 3/11/2006 - Complete
Hakama Dake by Indygodusk reviews
During a heat wave, Kaoru finds herself alone, frustrated, and extremely hot. Defeated by Kenshin's friendly behavior, she gives up on his love. But she refuses to lose to the sun. Clothes start to fly, but no one's there to see, right? KBK
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 80,527 - Reviews: 1284 - Favs: 1,565 - Follows: 421 - Updated: 3/28/2006 - Published: 5/8/2005 - Kaoru, Kenshin - Complete
Nothing, Yet Everything by Nightsailer reviews
A baby was born for the sake of lust. Vows were exchanged for the sake of duty. The kiss was shared for the sake of honor. Two people merged for the sake of emptiness. One woman cried for the sake of love. One proud Saiyan knelt for the sake of her.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 63,824 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 3/16/2006 - Published: 9/4/2005 - Vegeta, Bulma - Complete
Crimson Stain by Ravyn reviews
Haunted by a past that chases her every footstep, Kaoru finds refuge with the friendship of a certain man. When her past strikes back he will do anything to protect her. Even drawing her into the shadows of his world.
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 41,634 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 12/17/2005 - Published: 10/26/2005 - [Battousai, Kaoru] - Complete
Nacho Boy and the Dragon Lady by MrDrP reviews
Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, both 30 years old, have never met. Until now. Can a bitter Type A scientist and a goofy Bueno Nacho restaurant manager find happiness together? [COMPLETE]
Kim Possible - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 48,053 - Reviews: 453 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 11/25/2005 - Published: 9/30/2005 - Kim P., Ron S. - Complete
Forgotten Heroine by lightbird reviews
[AU] Complete, but being reworked under a new title as I wasn't happy with the way it turned out. [COMPLETE]
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 28,418 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 10/24/2005 - Published: 6/27/2005 - Complete
The Betrothed by lightbird reviews
[AU] Mulan returned home after the war, her secret undiscovered, now preparing to marry the man that she was betrothed to as a child, who turns out to be Shang. Things get complicated when they're both summoned for a new mission. [COMPLETE]
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 47,781 - Reviews: 415 - Favs: 1,386 - Follows: 294 - Updated: 10/18/2005 - Published: 9/3/2005 - Complete
The Emperor's Pendant by MiniEllie reviews
Mulan's back in the army, Chien-Po's ill, Shang's in love but is too shy to admit it, Yao's betrothed, Ling makes a discovery and out there, a big bunch of Huns are coming to get them...
Mulan - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 104,725 - Reviews: 364 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 9/1/2005 - Published: 9/4/2004
So What Happens Now? by Silver Storm Dragon reviews
[COMPLETED, hurrah!] From You Fight Good onwards, an alternative version of events...Shang decides to escort Mulan home, having decided that he should actually do something about his feelings...
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,128 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 239 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 8/22/2005 - Published: 5/22/2005 - Complete
Clear by RamaFan reviews
After six years apart Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable are reunited in a chance encounter. What happend, and what will happen?
Kim Possible - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 39,267 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 7/9/2005 - Published: 6/10/2005 - [Kim P., Ron S.] Shego - Complete
Ordinary Girl by Trillian42 reviews
Just a short little story of Kim and Ron hooking up after a mission. A quiet night between two friends becomes something more... My first story so be nice! Ya, I'm a KR shipper. See continuation in Ordinary Girl II: Devotion and Fidelity.
Kim Possible - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,420 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/9/2005 - Published: 5/18/2005
The Magnolia Tree by Mii-chan1 reviews
[Complete]The death of Shang's father and his new responsibility as General have made him a hardened man. Emotions are forms of weakness. He's no longer the kind Shang we knew. Will Mulan be able to get the old Shang back or is the new Shang here to stay?
Mulan - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 29,744 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/8/2005 - Published: 5/26/2004 - Complete
Forever by xiao chan reviews
[FINISHED] Takes place after Shang lets go of Mulan in Mulan II. Shang gets amnesia and Mulan has plans to become queen. What will happen when they unexpectedly meet years later?
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,229 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/4/2005 - Published: 2/8/2005 - Complete
Stand Up and Walk Forward by Saturn Stars reviews
So Ed finally knows... How will he react? How will Winry react? Can the strong beond between them help them overcome this obstacle in life? Or will it finally tear the lovers apart[EdWinry]
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 121,339 - Reviews: 1275 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 5/1/2005 - Published: 2/1/2005 - Edward E., Winry R.
The Slumbering Princess of Hyrule by Miss Maudlin reviews
AU This is the tale of Sleeping Beauty Zelda style! Princess Zelda is fated to prick her finger and fall into an unwakeable sleep upon her 18th birthday. Sent to the Kokiri Forest in hiding, she soon meets the boy who will change her life forever...
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 33,020 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 1/24/2005 - Published: 5/15/2004 - Link, Zelda
Times that Taint by Aenigmatic reviews
[FINALLY COMPLETED] AU: Mulan returns home, injured, identity still concealed after the avalanche battle with the Huns. What happens 5 years after? A tale of people tainted by harsh times and broken dreams.
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 21,750 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/13/2004 - Published: 7/26/2003 - Complete
The Black Sail before Troy by danger-natnat reviews
BriseisAchilles. Briseis was captured by the Greeks,and Achilles,the cold-hearted warrior,found himself attracted by this priestess. One gains when he loses,this is the way life is. The couple had gained much, yet they lost so much in their love. complete
Troy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 59,386 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 9/12/2004 - Published: 7/11/2004 - Complete
The Curse of the Bond by Kichi reviews
Very AU, Bulma and Vegeta must escape Namek together after the wish went awry. NOTE: ch 16 and 17 are up! (hears crickets and isn't surprised) Umm. I wasn't going to post it here... So I changed my mind! Don't be mad! Be happy it's finally complete!
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 81,257 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 3/1/2004 - Published: 3/25/2003 - Vegeta, Bulma - Complete
You're WHAT? by Lady Ebony reviews
BV How is Vegeta going to take the news that he is going to be a father...again? Take a glimpse into the Vegeta-Briefs home to find out what happened during the ten years after Majin Buu's defeat. COMPLETE
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 83,826 - Reviews: 727 - Favs: 505 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 2/16/2004 - Published: 7/6/2003 - Bulma, Vegeta - Complete
Porcelain Warrior by Bao Li Na reviews
Another war breaks out. Shang and Mulan meet again after a long time, together they will face new challenges and restore peace.They find the time to face and deal their own feelings
Mulan - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 37,279 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/4/2003 - Published: 5/26/2002 - Complete
Legend of Zelda: The Return by Rose Zemlya reviews
Takes place after OoT with the assumption that Link lost all of his memories of the events in the game when Zelda sent him back in time. COMPLETE
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 42 - Words: 232,633 - Reviews: 1590 - Favs: 2,342 - Follows: 516 - Updated: 10/31/2003 - Published: 7/7/2001 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Blue Moon by JouChan13 reviews
AU. After three years with Kenshin, Kaoru takes the worst blow of all. Feeling desperate and lost she looks to the heavens to help her. She makes a wish on that night, while looking up at the eerie moon. Never thinking it could come true. Batt/Kao
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 87,921 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/14/2003 - Published: 6/17/2003 - Kenshin, Kaoru
Ward by LavenderGoddessV reviews
A/U, B/V. Vegeta, the chivalrous Saiya-jin king, takes the young princess Bulma as his ward to protect her from the harsh treatment of her father. Will this arrangement blossom into something more intimate? Or will a foe from Vegeta’s past get in the wa
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 35 - Words: 146,578 - Reviews: 1828 - Favs: 458 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 8/2/2003 - Published: 4/8/2002 - Bulma, Vegeta
How To Make A Really Bad Dragon Ball Z Fanfic by Ryomi reviews
*MORE ADDED* Tired of reading bad fic after bad fic? Now you can write your own! Just follow this step-by-step guide to the worst of the fanfictional world and you'll be writing so poorly you'll be proud!
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,024 - Reviews: 522 - Favs: 590 - Follows: 52 - Published: 7/23/2001 - Bulma, Vegeta
The Way of Water (I) & The Long Spell of Rain (2) by Lian-hua reviews
This is the nice, fixed version, some small changes, some additions, different ending on the first part. . Overall, a big long mess of romance and intrigue. Enjoy.
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 82,242 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/26/2001 - Published: 4/11/2001
My Magnolia by Lian-hua reviews
A different Mulan sequel. There's political trouble going on and Mulan must make a sacrifce, but what about Li Shang? Is he going to stand for it?
Mulan - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,065 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/20/2001 - Published: 2/15/2001
Blooming In Adversity by Lian-hua reviews
The Huns are still in China, Mulan gets called to the battlefied, her life is on the line, as well as the safety of the Empire, and she's trapped alone with her buff Captain. Whatever will they do! And they said Kraft was the cheesiest :)
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 31,564 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/19/2001 - Published: 8/12/2000
l__________________l by empty2 reviews
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Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,195 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 35 - Published: 7/29/2000