alexandra277
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Joined 09-17-09, id: 2086696, Profile Updated: 09-26-09

Man and Women Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account." Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

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What the heart needs by MyTwiDreams reviews
Bella is a frustrated, overweight housewife who doesn't expect anything exciting to happen in her dull life, until she meets the lively, pixie-like sister of her husband. Bellice/AH - COMPLETED
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 110 - Words: 274,481 - Reviews: 2319 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 341 - Updated: 12/20/2014 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Drive Me Wild by DETaylor reviews
History Professor Edward has been pining away for his sweet, smart, beautiful student. When she lets her inner vixen out to play, will he be able to resist?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 18,539 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 12/22/2011 - Published: 2/5/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Into the Night by FinickyB reviews
He has her nights.
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,873 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/6/2011 - River Song/Melody P. III, 11th Doctor - Complete
First Night by seriously.preoccupied reviews
Ten II/Rose. Their life together after they are left at Bad Wolf Bay by Donna and the 10th Doctor, beginning with the first night.
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,000 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 6/25/2011 - Published: 11/30/2010 - 10th Doctor Duplicate, Rose T. - Complete
Managing Emmett by IcantBEEhave reviews
Bella Swan owns her own sports management firm. She has been in love with her star client for years, will do anything for him and give him anything he wants. What happens when he wants her? For the Me and Mr. McCarty contest!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,632 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 42 - Published: 6/14/2011 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Merry Textmas by DH78 reviews
Bella is forced to tackle the crowds on Black Friday with her best friend, Angela. Can a random text message from a wrong number change the course of her day and her life? Banter galore! AH. VOTER'S CHOICE WINNER for the Naughty & Nice Holiday Contest!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 33,038 - Reviews: 973 - Favs: 2,864 - Follows: 1,129 - Updated: 4/2/2011 - Published: 11/18/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Supermodel by julesames reviews
Bella is a supermodel. And she's shooting a magazine spread for Calvin Klein. With Edward. Topless.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,426 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 363 - Follows: 66 - Published: 1/14/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sensory Overload by Bronzehyperion reviews
Bella spends Halloween at an old mansion, finding herself oddly attracted to one or two of its inhabitants. But not everything is what it seems. All Human, well...sort of. One-shot for the Countdown to Halloween II One Haunted Halloween.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,476 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 33 - Published: 11/8/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Games by TheRestfulHour reviews
Bella Develops a Crush on Emmett and comes to a situation where she cant hide anymore. Edward and the rest go to visit a freindly coven of theres, and a certain someone's left behind. I suck at summaries! one-shot. Em/B. R&R. hope ya like ;
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,941 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 22 - Published: 10/17/2010 - Bella, Emmett - Complete