Hawkelf
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 07-28-03, id: 427303
Author has written 3 stories for X-Men: The Movie, and Lord of the Rings.

...what do you want?

Why are you reading this?

Fine then. Be that way. Keep reading. See if I care.

Anyway... Hello, I'm Hawkelf. Isn't this just fun? Yeah. I didn't think so. Now for a nice little question/answer session because I'm feeling vindictive and sarcastic. Go me.

Q: Why are you called Hawkelf?
A: Good question. Have another.

Q: What's your real name?
A: Nunya.

Q: How old are you?
A: Somewhere between born and worm food.

Q: Can I be your friend?
A: Why would you want to?

Q: Liek lol y r u so meen all the time! lol!11!
A: ...I'm sarcastic, cynical, have zip social skills, and believe in antipathy toward idiots. Deal with it.

Q: Can I call you insert odd name here?
A: Lessee... No. It's Hawkelf or HE, unless you know me from elsewhere.

Q: Why don't you write stories?
A: I do. Just not very often. And I don't usually let people read them at all. So why would I post them here?

Q: Where do you live?
A: Nunya City, Nunya

Q: Why don't you like people?
A: That's my business, not yours.

Q: What's wrong with you?
A: Why do you want to know?

Q: Are we done here?
A: Yes, I believe we are.

Now go away.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Between the Dog and the Wolf by AmZ reviews
A month after the barricades fall, Valjean finds himself in the middle of a mystery and discovers just little he knows about his erstwhile pursuer. Not quite AU, but events of the Brick are not central to the plot. Part of the 'You Know Nothing of Javert' series. Feuilleton; edited up to chapter 27.
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 65 - Words: 91,459 - Reviews: 522 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 4/5/2013 - Published: 3/28/2004 - Valjean, Javert, Claquesous, Montparnasse - Complete
Little Conversations by Hawk Clowd reviews
The apple never falls far from the tree...
Gravitation - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,842 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 11/9/2004 - Tatsuha U., Eiri Y.
No day should start without coffee by Tempting Sweet Poison reviews
I can deal with stupid Cajun joining the X-men. I can deal with my new job. I can even deal with the government taking over the school. It's the complete failure to buy more coffee that will be the death of me.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 84,153 - Reviews: 974 - Favs: 388 - Follows: 363 - Updated: 12/18/2008 - Published: 6/26/2005 - Rogue/Anna Marie, Gambit/Remy L.
Acceptance by enb2004 reviews
Snape mentors Harry. No slash! Snape rescues Harry from the Dursley's, only meaning to save the boy. But when they become emotionally attached, they find themselves in a constantly changing world, where acceptance and love are the only means to survival. Rewriting with LoveSnilyAlways.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 78 - Words: 92,531 - Reviews: 1351 - Favs: 842 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 2/11/2008 - Published: 3/25/2004 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Tears, Blood and Fluff Bunnies by MeeLee reviews
[COMPLETE] My KakaIru entries for the 55Themes LJ community. Some side pairings. ['Where the Heart Is' – Kakashi, Iruka, and the ties that bind them to their village and to each other.]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 39,387 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 9/15/2007 - Published: 6/22/2006 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete
Lamentations of a Starry Eyed Twit by She's a Star reviews
Auriga Sinistra's not so eventful diary filled with sarcasm, self pity, and assorted proclamations of loathing for a certain Potions professor . . .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 106,501 - Reviews: 3109 - Favs: 1,427 - Follows: 678 - Updated: 8/4/2007 - Published: 2/2/2003 - A. Sinistra, Severus S.
More Things Than Are Dreamt Of by teethlikedog reviews
If this is reality, why are things so strange? [post series, Torchwood crossover]
Life on Mars - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,486 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/24/2007 - Complete
Troubling New Developments by SicTransitGloria reviews
Kakashi takes a moment to wrap his mind around equating Ino’s chest with enemy shinobi while Asuma begins beating his head against the table and groaning about how he didn’t sign up for this. Rated for language and the general horror that is puberty
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,149 - Reviews: 631 - Favs: 4,416 - Follows: 684 - Published: 4/8/2007 - Kakashi H., Asuma S. - Complete
Ringspell, Wolfcall by Gemini14 reviews
Elfquest AU/LotR Crossover. When Cutter and Skywise come into unknown territory, they come upon an adventure and new allies that were unlooked for. Can they help each other through this crisis? Or will their world fall into darkness? R/R Please!
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & ElfQuest - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,727 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/14/2007 - Published: 3/14/2003
Forget Me Not by Charlotte Donahue reviews
Those who are left must come back.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,735 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2006 - Remus L. - Complete
Pure Gospel by willywonka3435 reviews
HouseWilson friendship. A sunny day, a red car, a drive home, a realization. Also, by the way, a oneshot.
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 840 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/9/2006 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Thicker Than Water by Beaubier reviews
Completed! Aurora and Northstar, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch, the Brotherhood, the XMen, the Acolytes. Alliances are tested, ties are cut, and siblings find out if blood really is thicker than water. Third in a series, but could stand alone.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 235,721 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/27/2006 - Published: 2/15/2004 - Quicksilver/Pietro M., Scarlet Witch/Wanda M. - Complete
Nemo My Name Forever More by Starlit tears reviews
Hermione has cast off her name and, in her mind no longer exists. She visits Draco in Azkaban. Set to the song Nemo by Nightwish. Real quick read so please read and review!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,311 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/21/2006 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Never Ending Cycle by moderndaycinderella reviews
He always messed up and they always fought. This time was worse, but, as always, count on Potter to save the day.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,991 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/21/2006 - Draco M. - Complete
As the Seventh Month Dies by TheGoldenSeraphim reviews
The date of Harry Potter's birth was a day of both intense joy and deepest sorrow.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 665 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/21/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
After X3 by Victorian Beauty reviews
Oh, Scott, there you are. Maybe we should have... looked for you or something.
X-Men - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/25/2006 - Complete
Cameron and the Mutants by Rodlox reviews
A House and XMen crossover. Written before seeing the 3rd XMen movie set after the episode where House steals the lunch of a newly divorced Wilson.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,353 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 5/28/2006 - Published: 5/27/2006 - A. Cameron, G. House
The Devils Are Here by napoleonbean reviews
House recieves an unexpected visitor. Crossover with Good Omens.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,006 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/28/2006 - G. House - Complete
Wind Age, Wolf Age by Doneril reviews
Two men meet in a train station in the south of England.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 849 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/1/2006 - Fenrir G., Remus L. - Complete
Cable Troubles by ravingbeauty reviews
Oneshot Hermione is having knitting troubles when a tall, dark Slytherin comes to pester her.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,279 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/27/2005 - Hermione G., Blaise Z. - Complete
Burning the Osenko by Hawk Clowd reviews
The prospect of depending on someone else is almost as bad as going it alone.
Gravitation - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,957 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Published: 7/14/2005 - Tatsuha U. - Complete
You are never alone by Tempting Sweet Poison reviews
Rogue is crying in a park when she is chanced upon by a stranger. Romy Oneshot, rather fluffy.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,935 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 13 - Published: 6/24/2005 - Complete
The Seven Deadly Sins by Digital Tempest reviews
Sequel to Unrequited. Bobby is dumped on Valentine’s Day and spends VDay with a fellow teammate, partaking in the seven deadly sins. Mostly tongueincheek. Giftfic. Slash. 10x100. Oneshot. Complete.
X-Men - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,259 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/11/2005 - Complete
Waiting For Five O'Clock by Akuma no Tsubasa reviews
In honor of the National Day of Silence, an X-Men one-shot. Probably actually rated high, except for those who disagree with the ideology represented. Also, two coarse words. Homo- and bisexual characters depicted. Northstar and Iceman on the Day of S
X-Men - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,781 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 7 - Published: 4/13/2005 - Complete
Friday Night by smuttykitty reviews
Get down! Some X-men drink beer and familiarize a little (not that way, dirty minded persons). Northstar, Wolverine, Iceman, and some others. Swears, drinking, off-color topics.
X-Men - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,805 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/28/2005
Playing House by Hawk Clowd reviews
One weekend. Two lovers. Three little problems. EirixShuichi
Gravitation - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,406 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/27/2005 - Published: 9/6/2004 - Complete
A Little Bit of Nothing by ASGT and Kat Maximoff reviews
ames Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Most people thought that their friendship - however odd it was - would last forever. Most people were wrong. tearjerker
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,095 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/13/2005
Early Flight by smuttykitty reviews
Walter visits Northstar in the aftermath of Deadly Earnest. Swears, adult themes. Not slash.
X-Men - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,098 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/6/2005
Of Elves and elves by Fey Halfkin reviews
[ON HOLD, see Author's Note] EQ meets LotR, from the very confused viewpoint of a Mirkwood Warrior. They heard wolf howls and knew something strange was out there...
ElfQuest - Rated: K - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,555 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/25/2005 - Published: 10/9/2003
Bittersweet Sundae by Eileen Blazer reviews
New recruits Remy and Jean Paul bond over ice cream and (maybe) impossible love.
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,573 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/9/2005
AlphaOmega by Sar-kaz-m reviews
COMPLETE! VanHelsing-X-Men crossover. Slash. Gabriel Van Helsing - Knight of the Holy Order, Hunter, Holy Man. Immortal? Mutant? COMPLETE!
Crossover - X-Men: The Movie & Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,346 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/6/2004 - Published: 8/3/2004 - Logan/Wolverine, Carl - Complete
This Must Be Love by Rivulet027 reviews
Response to a challenge. Bobby wants to get JeanPaul to the Halloween dance, JeanPaul has other ideas. IcemanNorthstar slash.
X-Men - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,923 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/31/2004 - Robert D./Iceman, Jean-Paul B./Northstar - Complete
Name by Homie-G-Phones reviews
He's screaming again, his roommate says. [ToddNeil, 100 words] [new chapter added]
Dead Poets Society - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 375 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/30/2004 - Published: 9/29/2004
Diaries of a Dungeon Dwelling Moron by Gedia Kacela reviews
The true-life occurances of one Severus S. Snape, sure to bewitch your mind and ensnare your senses.... er, perhaps not. Filled with bitterness, discoveries, and plenty of spite towards the starry-eyed Astrology professor.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,960 - Reviews: 577 - Favs: 569 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 7/12/2004 - Published: 2/3/2003 - Severus S.
A book of gold by Armelle-Madeline reviews
The questions one asks when confronted with the 'laws' of God, and a book designed to comfort, yet destroys so many
Bible - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 334 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/11/2004
In Darkness and in Doubt by Estel Star-Kindler reviews
Just an exploration of the states of mind of Lord Elrond and his sons, as word reaches Rivendell of Celebrian's capture, and the twins set out to save their mother from the jaws of death... No flames please.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,847 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 12/14/2003 - Published: 11/29/2003 - Elrond, Legolas - Complete
Promises by L.M. Griffin reviews
A good five generations after CotBP, Jack's been using the curse to live forever... and has a bit of trouble convincing the youngest Turner to help. (Crossover? Oyesh.)
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,026 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/7/2003
Acts Of Piracy by L.M. Griffin reviews
Two months after 'Men Of Our Word', Norrington has Jack on the brain and a new pirate threat to deal with. When the two collide, Norrington must think quickly if he wants to catch his prey. However, Jack has different ideas...(Slash-y. Turn back if you do
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 39,440 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 28 - Published: 10/25/2003
Hang The Code by llemun reviews
Why did the Black Pearl come back for Jack?
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 559 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 17 - Published: 10/13/2003
Never My Soul by Kahva reviews
COMPLETE. Non-slash. A companion piece to Shatter Me Not. Aragorn faces temptation during the Quest.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,347 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/6/2003 - Aragorn - Complete
Men Of Our Word by L.M. Griffin reviews
(RE-Beta'ed for Fans!) Norrington faces off with a party, socialite stalkers, and the dread annoying pirate Sparrow. However, as Fate often sees to, things do NOT happen as he plans. (JackNorrington)
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21,854 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/9/2003
You at the Barricade by M. the Inspector reviews
After the barricade falls, and Javert climbs over to check for Valjean's body... he finds it. Please RR!
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/5/2003 - Javert, Valjean
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Noldo on the Roof reviews
Fiddler on the Roof songs done Lord of the Rings style. Book verse.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,822 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/5/2006 - Published: 7/28/2004
Ode To Nightcrawler reviews
A poem about Nightcrawler
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/12/2003
Sad Clown reviews
A Nightcrawler POV, before he joins the X-men. During a circus performance, Kurt questions why he looks the way he does, and the opinions of others. Later he finds out why.
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,890 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/28/2003