Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter. The Harry Potter fandom and I I am a huge fan of the Harry Potter franchise, and I absolutely love to read fanfictions about Harry Potter. I am incredibly curious about how other people interpret the thoughts and actions of J.K. Rowling's characters. I love reading about the twists and turns writers make in their fanfictions, and I'll happily read your epic AU about Harry landing in Slytherin but not being evil because of it. Pet peeves Then again, I do have my pet peeves about certain plots, as I am sure many others do. For one, while I like/don't mind reading about Harry and Draco becoming friends, I just can't see them in a relationship together. It just doesn't work for me. It used to, until I got a bit more into the characters and less into the smut. Harry and Draco together? I'm sorry, but I don't like it. I might occasionally read one if the story is exceptionally good, but other than that, nope, sorry. Another of my personal pet peeves is Harry sucking up to Dumbledore. No, I'm not talking about viewing Dumbledore as a mentor figure, I am talking about Harry viewing Dumbledore as his personal Merlin, the All-Knower, the-one-that-can-do-no-wrong. I abhor reading about Harry following someone else their ideals blindly. I just refuse to think of my favorite character as being that brainless and stupid. Bad grammar. I know my grammar might not be the best, and I'm not saying my vocabulary is all that rich, but when a story is nearly unreadable by the lack of proper grammar/spelling, or by the lack of capital letters, I just can't read it. If there is the occasional grammar/spelling error, I'm not one of those to whine about it. I'll happily read the story if I like it, even if there are some errors, but if a story is riddled with them, sorry, but I'll likely stop reading. Good Voldemort. God I hate this guy. No, I'm not talking about stories where Voldemort's side actually has good ideals, I am talking about stories in which Voldemort suddenly becomes all goodie little two-shoes like. Face it, he's not. He has a short temper, he dislikes muggles, he hates Dumbledore. Voldemort isn't just going to just be like “Oh. Em. Djaaaayy! How could I ever, like, hate those cute muggles and muggleborns?! I must cuddle them all!” Yuck. Give him good ideals, I like that. It would make more sense, seeing how so many families have joined the man willingly. Stories in which rape is described. Yes, I read some stories in which Harry's relatives were despicable wastes of human flesh, were his uncle did unspeakable things to an innocent boy. But please, for Merlin's sake, I do not need to read a full, detail riddled description of such a despicable act! Please, mention it in passing only. Don't tell me how one dead-man-walking rapes another. Or dead-woman-walking for that matter. Characters Albus Dumbledore: Oh, how I dislike thee. You, mister, should not be in a school teaching children. Leaving a child on the doorstep in the middle of November wasn't enough for you, was it? I might have been able to forgive you for that, but not checking on said child after that? You were the one that abandoned him to a loveless home, the least you could do is check on your ward. Which you didn't. Then, you sent Hagrid to pick him up. Don't get me wrong, I love that man, but he isn't really the best choice to introduce Harry to a whole new world. Maybe you should have sent Flitwick or McGonagall, they could have introduced him properly. Also, Albus, what is wrong with you that you leave an ancient artifact behind such poor defenses? Three first years got through! No, one being the, apparently, brightest witch of her age doesn't matter. Three eleven year old children got through you traps! The fact that one could get past the traps was your first mistake. Fluffy: falls asleep when you play music. Now, that could be a fairly good defense...if Hagrid didn't tell everyone and their dog about his cute little puppies. Devil's Snare: first year material. They should have taken Neville along, would have made that much easier. Instead, the only really scary (though actually more funny) thing was Hermione's lapse into muggle-ism. Flying Key Room: why was the correct key in the room? Why were there brooms in the room? Honestly, this is looking more like a puzzle contest then a corridor of deadly traps. Oh well. Chess Room: This one could be fairly interesting if the last room didn't make it so bloody worthless. You left bloody brooms in the last room! Everyone could just pick them up and use them to fly over the chessboard without activating it. Sure, if the one that entered the room was crap at chess, he might have been in a tight spot, but then again, a wizarding chessboard resets after a game, the pieces restore themselves. So one would just have to keep on playing until the won once. Redundant room. Troll: Now this could have been a challenge to any student. If they didn't faint from the smell first, that is. Most people won't go head-on with a troll, unless your name is either Ronald Weasley or Harry Potter, but that doesn't make it impossible. Well, congratulations, a fairly nice room. Too bad the troll was knocked out when our Trio got there. I wanted to see Hermione knock the Troll silly. Potion Riddles: Why were the correct potions even there? Why weren't they all poisons? Why was there even a parchment to solve the riddle? For that matter, why were there even potions? Why no just make the fire spring up without giving you a way out? Honestly. Stone Room: Quirrelmort makes this room interesting. The mirror, does not. Sure, it has an incredibly interesting application in hiding the stone, but why the hell is the stone even in here? Set up the traps, lead Quirrelmort into a deadly trap, but don't leave the bloody prize in there! Keep it in your office, or better yet, let the Flamels keep it. They defended it for years without fail, did they not? And that was just first year. To keep it short: Second year: One second year figured out it was a Basilisk. The school wasn't evacuated when the first people got petrified. You hired a bloody idiot, quite possibly without doing a proper background check on the pompous fool first. You sent Harry back to his relatives after a short compliment of his deeds. Sure, ignore that he was just bitten by a Basilisk, killed it, destroyed a hologram of Riddle and nearly died. For that matter, ignore that Ginny had just been possessed for a couple of times in the last year. How do dark artifacts even get into the school? Third year: Hmm, not too much here actually. Well, except for leaving Harry at the Dursleys again, not doing anything to help free Sirius Black, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, and giving a bloody 13 year old a device to alter space and time. Yay for time paradoxes! Fourth year: The bloody tournament is just one giant fuck-up. I don't understand why you let it happen Dumbledore, and I don't understand why it wasn't canceled. Wait, it's a magically binding contract? Well, that's fine, because Harry didn't put his name in it. Which means, that if he hadn't competed, Crouch Jr. would have lost his magic, not Harry. Giant bloody fuck-up, that tournament was. Great bloody idea. Fifth year: Nice protection at the Dursleys. Yes, Dumbledore wasn't the one to sent the Dementors, but for a place Harry was supposedly the safest, he wasn't very safe. His next mistake is ignoring Harry completely. While yes, I can slightly understand his reasoning of not wanting Voldemort to know his plans, he should have at least explained his reasoning. His next mistake is turning up too bloody late at the ministry. The rest of the Order was there already, but where was Dumbledore? Oh, right, just in time to save the day. The prophecy at the end was a nice touch though, but I liked Harry blowing up his office more. Sixth year: You...you...TRAIN HIM! Memories are fine and all, but show them to Harry in a few days, not spaced out over the year. Then move on to fucking combat magic! Do you want Harry to survive or not?! Love is going to save him, love? Yes, he loves his friends, but fuck me if Harry ended Voldemort with a hug, a kiss, or the spell Lovus Totallus. Give him the tools to survive, Dumbledore. Don't give him the tools that'll make him walk to his death willingly. Which he did. Seventh year: There is only one thing I need to say here, and I think that Great Greasy Bastard Bat said it the best: “You raised him like a pig for slaughter.” Dumbledore is too much of a manipulator for me to like him. He thinks he can get away with everything. Well, if I ever get around to posting a non-stupid story, he bloody well won't. Severus Snape I'm not quite sure how one can be a bigger bully than him. He's a hypocrite and a douchebag, and I would happily drown him myself. Or let Harry do it. Or Neville. They both deserve the chance to. No, in my eyes, Snape hasn't a good bone in him. First of, he's a marked Death Eater. Now, let's believe for a minute that I actually believe that Snape turned good. Yippie, we have a spy! (The Light side actually needs one as well, if they want to start being useful for once). Now, I'm not sure what we could do with this spy. Hmmm...yes, we shall let him teach Potions! Brilliant idea! (Could be a brilliant idea, because he is a brilliant Potion's Master). We'll also make him Head of the House of Slytherin so that he can watch and/or guide the children of Death Eaters. (Now we're getting somewhere, Light-side.) This is a good idea...in theory. When we put it to the test...not so much of a bright idea. Blatant favoritism everywhere. Oh! Your potion looks good, you mangy Gryffindor? I'll let my Slytherins smash it, before grinning and taking points from your house! Wait, you dare to breath in my presence? 10 points from Gryffindor! But professor, the Slytherins are breathing as well! POTTER! 20 points for your cheek! I bet that if one of his students was a Vampire, Snape would take points for not breathing. I know that if I had that moron as a teacher, I would walk out of the classroom. I'm not going to listen to a teacher that so obviously bullies his students, and picks favorites to the extreme. Every professor does it a bit (well, not too sure about Flitwick though, he's just awesome), but this is just...wrong. Now, imagine Dumbledore popping up magically behind you. “My dear boy, I trust professor Snape absolutely, so you should as well. Now shut up, and let your mind get raped by my resident Death Eater reject project.” In the way that Dumbledore, and some other professors, defend Snape, you'd start thinking they agree with the way Snape treats his students. Or are, at the very least, willfully ignorant. Don't tell me that in all those years not one student complained about an abusive teacher? Honestly, not even wizards are that ignorant to non-acceptable teacher-student ethics. I hope. I can honestly say that there are only a couple of things that I like about Snape. His snark and...ehm...the way he crashed through the window in that half-duel with McGonagall in the seventh movie. Very pretty exit, I'll give him that. Harry Potter I AM BLIND TO YOUR MISTAKES! BLIND! No, seriously. Harry is my god. I love him and all his teenage angst (though not always), and he can do no wrong in my eyes (except the GinnyDisaster Version 2.3 and Cho-Gate). Sure, I know that he is not perfect, not my a long shot, but he is by far my favorite. Yes, it's cliché that I like the main character of the Harry Potter novels the best, but I can't help it. He's an amazing character, and I can still change him in so many ways without completely changing his base. Not that I won't also change his base, 'cause fanfiction allows for such things, but the thought is there at least. Now, I'm not saying Harry is the smartest (let's be honest, he is not), but he is pretty awesome. He defeated a Basilisk at age 12 (ignore the fact that he shouldn't have had to), drove off hundreds of Dementors with a difficult charm when he was 13 (again, he shouldn't have had to), competed in the Tri-Wizard tournament (any and all blame for this go to Barty Crouch Jr. and Dumbledore. And Fudge. Because fudge Fudge), almost Crucio-d Bellatrix (why is it almost?!), saw what a whiny Death-Eater Draco was in sixth year (why did Snape come in time to save Draco from the Sectumsempra?), and defeated Voldemort! I can continue to wax poetry about wittle Hawwy, but I guess I won't. I'm not one of those persons that won't listen to others pointing out Harry's bad sides, I'll just willfully ignore them while acknowledging that others see Harry in a different way. I just won't read many stories without Harry in it in some way. Harry's awesome! Hermione Granger My thoughts are a bit mixed on this one. While I definitely agree with those people that say that Harry should've ended up with her instead of Ginny, that doesn't mean that she's my favorite female character. That goes to Luna Lovegood. Hermione is smart, damn smart, however to say that she's the “smartest witch of her generation” is a bit too much. Especially as this was a trend started when she was only eleven. Lets admit it, when she was eleven, what did she know about the intricacies of the Wizarding world? Did she know half the things a fifth year Ravenclaw did? Hermione has a lot of book smarts, yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean she is world-smart. Saying the answer in the form of a book-quote is something different from an answer in the form of your own words, with your own thoughts behind it. Stop your blind trust in authorities and books, and accept that sometimes books can be wrong. Don't bite someone's head of for having a different opinion about a certain theory behind a spell. Yes, the book you read may have said otherwise, but that doesn't mean there can't be more behind it! I agree that she mellowed out in the later books, and she turned into pretty much a bad-ass witch, but I will probably never be her biggest fan. Ronald Weasley Human waste-bin. He eats more than I do when I'm in a chocolaty mood, and that's saying something. No chocolate bar is too big for me at such a moment. But I digress. I'll say that in the first book, I liked Ron. Not necessarily his hate for Slytherins (I don't condone hating 1/4th of the school because of the House they are sorted into), but I liked him. He is sort of witty at moments, he has some nice lines, and his chess-skill is near epic proportions. That said, stand beside your best friend, dude! Don't you even dare to look at Harry side-ways for him being a parslemouth!...Oh...well, he did it anyways. Not cool. But I can overlook that. In the end, he did go down the Chamber of Secrets with Harry. Most likely because his sister was down there, but Ron did go down instead of waiting for Lockhart/Harry to rescue her. He gets brownie points for that. However, fourth year, that is when all my like for Ron went through the shit-hole, down the drain and in a black hole, never to be seen again. You don't abandon your best-bloody-friend! You stand by him when his name gets pulled out of the Goblet, you believe him when he tells you he doesn't want to be in the tournament, and you stand next to him through all the bullying Harry went through that year! Take a leaf out of Hermione's book and grow a bloody brain. If Ron didn't know by now that Harry didn't want his fame, he's a lousy friend. I dislike you Ron, and I don't think I will ever like you. I admire those that can write an awesome Ron, and damn yes will I read an awesome Ron story, but I can't write it, and they won't make me change my opinion of Ron. I suspect that I could write a 'good friend to Harry'-Ron if I completely rewrote their years at Hogwarts, otherwise it'd be a hard task. Luna Lovegood Needs more screen time. Need mooooore screen time! Harry Potter needs more Luna Lovegood. Luna Lovegood is awesome, and Nargles are awesome and Wrackspurts are awesome and everyone should search for Crumple-Horned Snorcacks because Luna. Is. Awesome! Can you tell I like Luna? Well, I like her. And Harry and Luna should do smooch-smooch. I like Luna's eccentricities, and I love her Creatures. It's so easy to make her seem like a Seer or a clairvoyant, but even without doing that, she's awesome. And if she and Harry don't do smooch-smooch, they should be brother and sister. For where Harry is my favorite guy of the books, Luna is my favorite girl by a large margin. Fred and George Weasley Fred never died. I'm so far in denial, I believe that is the truth. Fred is not dead. Damnit, he can't be dead! Without Fred, they aren't The Weasley Twins, The Great Two, Gryffindors Personal Point Demolishers. The Weasley Twins are no more without Fred, and that's something that is not allowed. So; Fred isn't dead. And that's that. I adore the twins. They're funny, handsome, and should have a bigger role in all the books. Yes, let them replace Ron, that'd be awesome. Would fudge up the Golden Trio name, but I don't care! I'll agree that some of their pranks can go too far (transforming Ron's teddy in a spider, burning a hole in Ron's tongue with Acid Pops), but they mellowed out in their later years. Umbitch not withstanding. Ginny Weasley I'm looking through the books, but I can't find it. I just can't find it. Where is the intricate character development? Where is the deep interaction between Harry and Ginny where they form a believable love interest in between each other? The love between Harry and Ginny seems just so forced to me. As if J.K. Rowling thought “Zut! Harry needs to end up with a family! Ehhh...eenie meenie miney mo...Ginny Weasley it is!”. Just...no. If there was more of the pairing actually interacting in the series, I might like/approve of them more, but as it is, she's only Ron's little sister. Hermione would have been far more believable to be a love interest of Harry, but she's dumped with mister Brainless. On that note, Ginny isn't given much of a brain either. She seems more like a fangirl with a fair amount of magical power and a fearsome Bat-Bogey hex, but other than that? Not much of an interaction between Ginny and Hary. I say nay to the pairing, and I won't read it either. Quotes "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." - Groucho Marx "I stand by this man [President George W. Bush]. I stand by this man, because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things, things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world." - Stephen Colbert "I contend that snark, as an attitude, as a tone, can be good when defined as 'a behavior that is a wonderfully witty combination of sarcasm and cynicism.' It sounds nice, right? Kinda cool. Kinda hip, sorta boring . . . but nice. But when it's defined as 'snotty and/or arrogant' . . . yeah, way more fun." - Lawrence Dorfman “Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes — 'Cuppa tea, cuppa tea... almost got shagged... cuppa tea'?” - Spike (BtVS) “If the apocalypse comes...beep me!” - BtVS (I think) “How can I deal with annoying persons in a way that utterly crushes them witohut tarnishing my carefully developed reputation or extending my already lengthy prison sentence?” - Lady Arabella Snark “How devastated I am to say that I will not be present at your petite soiree on June 10th. Unfortunately, the exceptionally weak drinks you ordinarily serve at these occasions are not sufficient to dull my senses to your boyfriend's futile efforts to grope me in the hallway.” - Lady Arabella Snark “This “who’s on top” banter continues until one wrestler (who has slyly gone to hide behind a chair) leaps upon his rival with an animal cry. The pair then proceeds to create a series of tableaux that appear to be from the Kama Sutra, Vatsyayana’s ancient Indian textbook of carnal satisfaction. Occasionally, the tension is broken by a wrestler who picks up a large object, such as a table, to throw on the other’s head, as if suddenly disgusted by his forbidden love.” - Lady Arabella Snark “Lindworms are a sign of a healthy ecosystem,” I said, straightening. “Now let’s get out of here before the healthy ecosystem eats us.” - Seanan McGuire “Where would he go?” Liam asked as he led them through the hallways, looking for a back exit. “You’ve missed a lot of things. But mostly I think you’ve missed several opportunities to leave. Let me assist you to the door so that you won’t miss this next one.” - Victoria Laurie “Like most people raised on American movies, I have poor access to my emotions, but can banter like a motherfucker.” - Josh Bazell “When words come out of your mouth, do your ears just block all incoming sound waves?” - Amethyst Marie Shattered World Giant facepalm. Ignore this piece of Dragon dung, it ashames me. |
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