![]() Author has written 2 stories for Knight Rider, and Alex Rider. Some information about myself... Name: wouldn't you like to know... Stalker! Age: You should never ask a lady her age. Gender: FEMALE Boys are like slinkys, useless, but really fun to watch fall down the stairs! I don't care if there's plenty more fish in the sea...I WANTED THAT ONE!! (FUNNY!!) "Bad luck is bending over to pick up a four-leaf clover and being infected by poison ivy." Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door." Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message. When life gives you lemons, squirt life in the eye and run like hell. Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. Today is a beautiful day. Now watch some idiot screw it up. Today I was in the library and I got bored, so I picked up the Bible and started reading it. Some random guy walked up to me, pointed to the book and said, " The main character dies..." Then he walked away. 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote, but refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "It's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5. When people say while watching a film, "Did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor! 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'New and Improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8. When people say "Life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here?? There's always that special someone... that you want to be hit by a truck. Today, I found a sticker on some bananas that said "Guilt Free Snacking". I then put the sticker on My BOWL of ice cream. If I'm gonna live like I'm dying then I'm gonna need a walker and nice retirement home. When its cold enough to see your breath, I always make sure i breath out of my nose. It makes me feel like a DRAGON Silence is Golden... but Duct tape is Silver... MY FUTURE IS SO BRIGHT, I NEED SHADES! "Even after Monday and Tuesday, the calendar says W T F..." Those who say words can never hurt you have never gotten a dictionary thrown at them. Never Go To Bed Angry... Stay Awake and Plot Your Revenge... Come to the dark side, we have cookies! It is so creepy that the word bed actually looks like one. Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery? Astronomers were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "uh oh." The orthopaedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, and had fastened the seatbelt around it to stop it falling over. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office." The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, man," he said, "but I think it's too late!" To My Loving Wife: (Title of story) A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error. In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife From: Your Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived! I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. (P.S. Sure is hot down here!) Shelly Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand... What WAS the best thing before sliced bread? Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel." My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. I'm not random, I just think quicker than you do. I'm enjoying every minute of it. Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. An apple a day keeps the doctor away; but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit. I smile because I have no idea what's going on. Parents spend the first part of your life teaching us to walk and talk and the rest telling us to shut up and sit down. Keep smiling... it makes people wonder what you're up to. Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies? I don't get mad; I get even: From TheBrightestNight's story Forget Me Never, Chapter two. Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God...Yes there are many people in the world. But God walks beside you always. I'm a Christian and Proud! You don't have to be one either to believe in God! A poem about Child Abuse My name is Lucifer I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is Lucifer I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me Now i roam the underworld, to help those in need. I may seem evil, but i'm not. And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all i ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile. If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile. MESSAGE We love them for a million reasons, no paper does it justice. It is a thing of not the mind but the heart. A feeling. Only felt. This chain started in 2002. It is a chain love letter. In an hour you are supposed to repost this. Now here comes the fun part. You then say the name of the person you love or like, then the person will say "I love you" or "would you go out with me." NO JOKE!! NOW THE COSENQUENCES!! The consequences are: If you break this chain letter, you will have bad luck with future relationships. If you don't, you will be a happy camper. Congratulations! ! You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and LUCKIEST chain letter ever written on the internet. Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (within the hour) post it with the title Message 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (Don’t cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: Youare conservativeand aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you Love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down. 3. If you’re initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you Fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but The memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life Changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your Soul mate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do Anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person. 9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday - (that sucks, I have to wait 8 months!) |
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