Pat McKraken
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Joined 12-01-14, id: 6318521, Profile Updated: 12-01-14

Yo! Fat Amy in da house! So you wanna know about me?? Ok, ladies and gents...lesbi-honest, here's the low down from down under!

I'm the only Mermaid Dancing Instructor in Tasmania with Teeth. I can match pitch. I like making people Feel The Fat Amy Force I love to finish off cheesecake Burritos fuel my hate fire and make me feel like I've been shot. I'm living the dream. I still can't believe they let my sexy fat ass in. Bumper makes my panties drop. He's loves to watch my floor work. Some of my besties are twig bitches but they all have fat hearts. They've been here the whole time. I can't believe there aren't any back-up dancers! I can wrestle crocodiles and dingoes simultaneously. Don't sign me up for cardio! Vertical running is da bomb. I once did Fiddler On The Roof with some Aboriginals. It was really Jewish. Crushed it!! I drank the blood of the sisters that came before me. Having Bumper's number got me in Treble. I had sexual relations with a Treblemaker and my vocal chords are still safe from wolves. I dress for comfort. I love turdburgers in Treble hoodies. The old Bellas kept it tight. *cough* Slut! Sometimes I have the feeling I can do crystal meth, but then I think, mmm... better not. I wear a Jewish ponytail...reserved in the front, party in the back. I once pitch-slapped Bumper so hard, his man-boobs are concaved. Aubrey really does have man hands. Pump n' Dump is my personal motto. I once gave two deaf guys my number. I don't have herpes. Songs about sex make me want to see Hoopastank in concert. There's never a good enough reason to use the word penetrate. Give me a sharp weapon and I'll put it up someone's butt. Have you been ever been sprayed by a hose? I like melting Cabbage Patch Kids. This is cool but I think I'm running out of gas.

Whomp, there it is! Don't believe me?? Try me!!! But excuse me bitch, you don't need to shout.

Follow me on Twitter @PatMcKraken

Divorce Papers by HHer-PitchSlap-HOA reviews
One fight led up to Beca throwing divorce papers at Jesse's feet and a wedding ring at his head. Jeca. One-shot. Rated T for language and mention of pregnancy.
Pitch Perfect - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 629 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/20/2014 - Beca M., Jesse - Complete