ApprenticeFour
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Joined 10-07-12, id: 4296494, Profile Updated: 11-17-12

Things that make you feel smart. Go ahead, feel smart.

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Whoops! Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

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The Stranger Within by HunterofArtemis32 reviews
We used to be best friends before one summer night changed everything. He changed drastically; he wasn't the person I knew. He betrayed me, he turned his back when I needed him most. So you're probably wondering why I'm standing in front of a gang leader, who he happened to be. Oh, that's right; I'm in love with him. [COMPLETED]
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 77,175 - Reviews: 1439 - Favs: 1,070 - Follows: 656 - Updated: 9/2/2017 - Published: 12/19/2011 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
If I Could Fly by jlgrant reviews
Time heals, but the heart does not forget. A bond forged in shadow strives for life in the light. ExC story. Complete.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 157,194 - Reviews: 559 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 11/25/2014 - Published: 10/24/2008 - Erik, Christine - Complete
Perlia: Battle of the Labyrinth by Annabeth Chase-Jackson14 reviews
sequel to His Possibilities. Read along for Perlia adventures from the Battle of the Labyrinth. If Annabeth was a huntress instead, Thalia&Percy got together, two most powerful halfbloods as a couple fighting the Great Prophecy they both have ahead of them
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 54,987 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 7/18/2014 - Published: 4/24/2012 - Thalia G., Percy J.
Secretly by edka88 reviews
Christmas is approaching, and Christine takes one last attempt to call forth her silent Angel.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,348 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/23/2013 - Christine, Erik - Complete
All paths lead to you by pegasus-fics reviews
After her husband's death, Christine is forced to leave France and heads to London. What happens when Christine meets a man she thought long dead? Erik/Christine Rating changed to 'M', please read author's note in chapter 17!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 129,523 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 398 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 9/29/2013 - Published: 9/29/2011 - Erik, Christine - Complete
Dear Bianca by Empty Thoughts reviews
Nico writes letters, but none will ever reach their recipient.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,751 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/16/2012 - Nico A., Bianca A. - Complete
Reflections of the Soul (A Halloween novella) by Angel of Mystery-145 reviews
A cursed mirror; two lovers separated through time - a chilling story of the extremes one will go to, to be with the one they love. Modern day/some historical... An E/C PotO suspense/mystery/drama with romance- revised 11/08 with M rating - 2004 movie/some Kay
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 34,054 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 11/1/2006 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Christine, Erik - Complete