![]() If you use Bing as a search engine just so you can go "BIIIING" in that really weird voice every time you press "search", copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. 97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper about to jump. If you're one of the 2% who would sit there eating popcorn screaming "DO A FLIP!" then copy and paste this on your profile. If your one of the 1% that would push him off, paste this into your profile too. If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this to your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?" If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!( I LOVE doing this!) If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If your still reading this then copy and paste this onto your profile Put this on your page 96% of teenagers would sob if Justin Beiber was about to jump off a building. Post this on your profile if you're the 4% who'd be at the bottom, eating popcorn and chanting "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!"
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" If you could read that put it in your profile! A Nerd's List of Things to Do 1.) Write alien vs predator: The Musical. 2.) Develop the ability to talk to vegetables. (Brocotongue!) 3.) Learn how to "billow" like Severus Snape. 4.) Make action figure of yourself. 5.) Prove to the world that gay sparkly vampires are even more pathetic than they believe. 6.) Enrage obsessed fan girls. 7.) Scream out random endings when walking out of the movie theater. (I can't believe it! Optimus killed Sam and ran off with Megatron!) 8.) Teach fox's how to skydive. 9.) Create first ever pizza laser. 10.) Have own theme music. 11.) Find the penny at the bottom of the razor blade and and salt-filled jar. 12.) Discover why Dora the Explorer's parents let her explore the world all by herself. 13.) Sing made-up lyrics to Christmas Carols. During the summer. 14.) Read Shakespeare. You know, like in Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet fights that lion, and Romeo destroys the giant space station, and they all go to Burger King...yeah, I don't really know my Shakespeare stuff that well. 15.) Also prove to the children how Santa sits on the throne of lies. 16.) If this isn't enough, scream "I GOT CAKE MIX!" all the time. (Nemesis.) 17.) Warn younger children that if they aren't good this Christmas, Santa's little Dementors will come and suck all of their happiness away. Run from livid parents. 18.) Use security cameras as mirrors to pick your nose. 19.) Run around with a Force FX lightsaber, claiming you are a Jedi that must slay the evils of the world. Then attack anyone wearing Hannah Montana apparel. 20.) Develop sense of irony. 21.) Don't die yet. 22.) Conquer the world with flying fox's. 23.) Teach fox's how to skydive, then start an airshow. 24.) Build a city...then destroy it with multicoulered dinosaurs! 25.) Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're an insane authoress/author, too! Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' If you think Orochimaru is what you get when Michael Jackson and Voldemort have unprotected sex, C&P this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this to your profile. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three Random crap that seems funny!! Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to. Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes. Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is. Be yourself. That's crazy enough. You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail. Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place. They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" i don't think you'd kill many people. (Unless you're Deidara. And have explosives.) Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is. I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves. The trouble with real life is that there is no background music I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything. Forecast for tonight: darkness If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do? I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die. Hell is full of musical amateurs There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line I'm not random I just have many thoughts I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes -sticks hand in electric box- CHIDORI!! If you had a life you would stop talking about mine We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction! Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking The below statement is true The above statement is false Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over. Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner. People are like slinkies. Basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down stairs In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop! Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later. God must love stupid people...he made so many There is no great genius without a mixture of madness When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me. Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor. PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah! Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway. I have a dream and in it, something eats you. Its sad your own mom dresses you like that. Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful. Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?! I called Sasuke gay and he hit me with his purse. I met Nicole Richie!! No wait, that might've been a twig... Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll. If idiots could fly this place would be an airport. I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret! Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1? You should always proofread what you write in case you any words. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you. I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again. By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday Hi! I'm human. What're you? Have you considered suing your brain for non-support? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass! Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege. If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide! I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it! Wherever there is life there is love I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident Sometimes all we need are each other Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy. Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you. Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks? One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars. When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know. I wanted to send you something SEXY... but the mail man told me to get out of the mail box... When you call us BITCHES we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID! Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CEILING!? Am I pissing you off-fa-fa? We are the people our parents warned us about! If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug? Some people are like slinkies... they're really good for nothing! But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs! ( ) I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty! I love this RETARD I call my BEST FRIEND!! I didn't hit you... I simply high-fived your face! Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell? If I had half a mind..I would still be smarter than you!! Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water! All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege. MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men! Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that. Come to the dark side. We have cookies. In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place. I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly. In the play Hamlet, Hamlet says to be or not to be that is the question. What I wanna know is... whats the answer? The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures." Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!" Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done. |
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