passionatevampirehide bio
 Author has written 4 stories for Twilight. Hey fellow fanfiction-ers... For those who have read my stories (and yes I pity you), I'm sorry to say that I probably will not be updating. Why? Well, I wrote those stories two years ago and my style has greatly changed. As well, even though the public is all "into" the Twilight phase, I'm not really. Way too much attention has been paid, and the movie was...well basically horrible. I know you all looovveeee Pattison, but really? That was not his best work. And their first kiss? BELLA WAS IN HER UNDERWEAR. Last time I checked, she doesnt get horny till Eclipse. Clears throat Right then. (So funny that I own the movie...) IF I do update, I'll write it here and you'll probably receive an email. Please don't keep your hopes up...I have massive essays due at school and all my creative energy goes there. ~Passion~ PS: Edward's still my dream man. Shhhh... |
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Edward Vs the Toddler by Butterscotch82 reviews
Ch.1: Edward faces his toughest--or at least, his most annoying--adversary yet, in the form of a two-year-old. Post Twilight . Ch. 2: Find out how Edward and Bella handle Nessie when she takes on some of Eddie's less charming traits. Post Breaking Dawn .
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,960 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 598 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 7/7/2018 - Published: 6/28/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Wow! Is That Really Bella? by Gabriels-girl5035 reviews
Edward never returned in New Moon, Now 70 years later he’s engaged. When the family goes to Barcelona on vacation Edward may be in for a HUGE surprise!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,491 - Reviews: 855 - Favs: 589 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 1/17/2012 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2145 - Favs: 3,595 - Follows: 1,673 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Just a Human Game by faeryespell reviews
Bella knows that Rosalie’s human life was unwillingly cut short, so she suggests they play only the most human game there is: the Game of Life. It starts out fun, until the Cullens begin to take it a little too seriously... and let secrets unfold.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 35,084 - Reviews: 504 - Favs: 378 - Follows: 453 - Updated: 1/7/2009 - Published: 12/10/2007
Clinging To Humanity by Niek reviews
I was suddenly pulled away from the panicky thoughts, as an explosion ricocheted through my chest. I screamed, and screamed again. The venom had reached my heart. It was inevitable now. I was going to get what I wanted. -I'd love your reviews & opinions :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 28 - Words: 70,265 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 11/22/2008 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Bella, Edward
Torture by Insanity's Partner reviews
She teasingly ran her finger up and down the side of her arm, as if she was shy. The mental image probably wouldn't have been so torturous if she wasn't naked....and on the other side of a locked door that I couldn't get through.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,163 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 5/31/2007 - Complete
Jesus is a Vampire! by Lilith Apocalypta reviews
Emmett finds religion.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 267 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/31/2008 - Complete
FailSafe Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen by mradrz4evr reviews
Ever wondered how exactly to irk the infallible Edward? Well, Team Jacob enterprises proudly presents, the best of the best ways to bring this vampire down!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 368 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/4/2008
Trippy Bella by EdwardIsMyLover reviews
Mike drugs Bella at a party, but the Cullens rescue her. This is a night at the Cullens with an undertheinfluence Bella as they try to keep her out of anything lifethreatening. How will they fare?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,660 - Reviews: 628 - Favs: 546 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 1/14/2008 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1739 - Favs: 3,172 - Follows: 670 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
Inappropriate Attire by Ylfcwen reviews
Oneshot. Bella has an unusual gift. How will Edward use it to his own advantage?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,937 - Reviews: 765 - Favs: 622 - Follows: 145 - Published: 8/25/2006
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Revenge reviews
Emmett gets revenge on Edward for breaking all of his new TVs.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 575 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/15/2007
Bella's on FM frequency reviews
Bella's mind is no longer on AM frequency. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,175 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 11/14/2007 - Published: 9/14/2007
Roberto reviews
Oneshot. Bella has a plan. And hot? Roberto is in on it! Plz R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,245 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/10/2007 - Complete
Vampire Perfume reviews
Bella brings perfume over to the Cullens's house. Maybe their strong sense of smell isn't a good thing! R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,733 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 9/15/2007 - Published: 9/10/2007