Age: 12

Gender: gurl

Weight: 120 pounds

Height: about five feet

Name: call me Rai!

10 Things To Do In Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Smart is sexy.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Perfect men are only fictional.

Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Bacon and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Fun things to do on an elevator: Try them today, kids!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22)WHEN you get inside jump on everyone there.

I found these on someone's profile and thought they really funny. If you thought they were funny and started laughing while reading them like I did, copy and paste them into your profile.

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos!
..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On T-Rat (Military food):

Its not for Human Consumption, Animals and Military Use only... (Umnn yeah... isn't military also human)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)