Lessons Learned from Twilight:

1. Space heaters can be useful.

I wish I had one. (TEAM JACOB)

2. The future is not set in stone.

Really? I thought is was set in the swimming pool.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

Well...obviously. We are human. We need to eat.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

Except for guns, rifles, global warming...need I go on?

5. True love knows no boundaries.

Ooookay...and just what are the boundaries again?

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

No...not really...just Bella.

7. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

That is so wrong. Not all people have soul mates and most people die before they reach 100 years old.

10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

True...true...

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

Uhhh...never heard that one before...but...sure...

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

No...really?

13. Family is about more than just blood.

I think there is something wrong with the way that sentence is put together.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

If I had to write a 1000 word essay, I don't think there is any point in writing more...

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

Yes. My hair just flies straight up when I get angry.

16. "Vegetarian" has many different meanings.

Hmm...really? I only can think of one and it is eating vegetables.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

I don't think monsters are even human.

18. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

Okay...so you hear bad news. Accept it. Don't be another Edward.

19. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

Uhh...if you hear voices in your head...you might not be crazy but there is definitely something wrong with you.

20. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

I thought love meant that you liked someone more than as a friend.

21. Cold hands equal to a warm heart.

I don't really get that.

22. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

Well...one thing for sure if I don't breathe, I die from lack of oxygen.

23. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

No way. The masochistic lions should eat the stupid lambs.

24. Romeo was an idiot.

Yes he was, but Shakespeare was brilliant.

25. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

Correction: Extreme sports can be fatal (for Bella anyway) and should not be attempted alone unless you have someone to save your butt.

If you have ever said ‘cross over to the dark side. We have cookies!’ to someone you know, copy this into your profile

Come to the dark side . . . WE HAVE COOKIES!

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

Tired of living and scared of dying

Scared to remember, terrified to forget

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

Some of my favourite quotes and stuff from TLO:

"...Maybe he was messaging his friends on uglyface.com." -Percy

"When he spotted me, he got so excited he fell out of his tree." -Percy

"A half-blood of the eldest dogs..." "Er, Percy? It is gods not dogs." -Percy and Annabeth

"I warned you, daughter. This scoundrel Hades is no good. You could've married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers, but noooo. You had to go eat the pomegranate." -Demeter

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Time for copying and pasting!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

Copy and Paste this on your profile:

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree
The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN:

You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.

You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.

You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.

You know which pages the good parts are on.

You suddenly hate thunderstorms.

You start hearing Perachel in every song you hear. (Or something else:Percabeth. 8D) (I hear Percabeth)

You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.

You start figuring out who your godly parent is. (I am a child of Athena.)

You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.

You have a plan to get out of school early on May 5th so you can buy The Last Olympian, read it, and still have time to do your homework.

You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.

You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.

You start spelling character names out of your spelling words.

You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.

Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.

You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.

You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.

The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”

On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.

You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.

You dream about PJO every night. (Yes)

You curse a god/goddess a lot (I say 'Oh My gods' and 'What the Hades a lot')

You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room

You know PJO better then most sane people

You have links to every great PJO site

You add things to the list every day

You know what you would do if you were Percy

You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not (NO! STAY NORMAL!)

At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future (I keep re-reading The Last Olympian)

You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work (I would, but I don't have a Golden Drachma :C)

For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Myth-O-Magic cards and they understood

Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'

You are trying to learn Greek

You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.

Every language you know is some form of Ancient greek.

You shriek everytime you see a guy with black hair and green eyes(Lol, one time I was in the subway, and this dude with black hair and green eyes came in and I just kept staring at him. Like, "OMG IT'S PERCY!")

You have an instant crush on Nico! (He's my favorite character. 8D)

You just have to research more about greek mythology.

You call up the Camp Half Blood number in LT. (I did that...it said the number was disconnected. xDDD)

Your want to learn Latin

You copy/paste this onto your profile

About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over

You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your friends have as well or are going to

You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO

Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree

A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor (One of them that see if you are crazy and try and help you), because you are so obsessed

You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them

You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god. goddess.

You plan on one day going to the empire state building and ask for the 600th floor. (my sis says she'll drive me there.)

You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list

You have done at least 15 (Or more) of the above things

30 Good Reasons why GIRLS are always the BEST

1. We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. Its possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We have ways of getting what we want easily.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We have style.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. There's the saying "Ladies first."

Other stuff...

If you like pretzels, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If you know someone that should get hit by a bus Copy and paste this to your profile

If you've reread Twilight over 4 times...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy/paste this into your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a mirror...copy/paste this into your profile.

If every locker you have ever had/have hates you and wouldn't/doesn't open up for you...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile..

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you think Bella is out of her mind for considering Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever not known where you were when there was a sign right next to you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into the men's toilets instead of the ladies or vice versa, paste this onto your profile.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.

If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turky-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that her life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If one of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile.

If you like Subway, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you've read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse over four times, copy this onto your profile

If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile

If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this onto your profile

If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

My night in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid a--.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (Hee hee, Twilight...)

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts. (What were you supposed to do? Throw them at the people sitting near you?)

On a child's Superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly. (I blame the parents for that one)

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

Ten things to see before you die

1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.

3. Homer say something intelligent.

4. Taxes disappear.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Micheal Jackson being stalked by children.

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, etc.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner.

10. The reaction of the teen population if Abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

It only makes sense...

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. What if she went there, and did that, and he killed him and she killed him! Ah! I need a pencil and paper!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sug ar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth. (Yup, all summer doing this!)

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. (Yes, took up all the space!)

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. (Sometimes...)

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. (Whaaat?)

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. (Duh!)

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (Brand new laptop, the old one had broken buttons :p)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You zone out even with other people.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. (It drives my mom crazy!)

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You're profile is REALLY long.

Your computer runs out of memory. (Yes, I had to delete a bunch of stuff!)

You can't stop writing! (My dad thinks writing is dumb, what I replied got my laptop taken away, and no paper!)

Your parents take away your computer, and you almost die. Literally.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Put this on your profile if you're an author! :D