Maths - Get a calculator
English - I'm speaking it
History - They're all dead
Geography - Book a holiday
PE - Walk to the cab
French - Never gonna go to France so why learn the language?
RE - Read the bible
Cooking - Make some soup
DT - Get an interior designer
ICT - Go on facebook
Music - Stick on a CD
Drama - Get drunk and high
Art - Draw a cock on your face