Ok, this is my 1st time doing a profile like this, so don't expect updates to be very good for a while. Another thing is, i'm in high school now, so don't expect me to do regular updates on anything for a while. Also, expect a lot of copy and pastes, i'm kind of into those things. Ok, now that that is out of the way, this can start becoming a real profile.

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Hair: Brunette

Eyes: Hazel green

Hobbies: Card games, video games, going online(which should be pretty obvious), reading(mostly manga, and mysteries), watching stuff(mostly anime, comedies, and murder shows), drawing, singing, writing(would I be publishing on this site if I didn't like to write?)... Actually, I'm not very picky when it comes to hobbies.

Alter Egos(yes, I have multiple.) and their friends(yes, I have more than just alter egos in my head, probably should mentioned that when I 1st made my profile, gomen _')

Tiffany

Age: 13

Gender: Female

Hair: Pink with green bangs

Eyes: Green

Hobbies: Hanging out with her friends, playing video games, going online, reading, watching stuff, drawing, writing, dancing, sports, singing, martial arts, card games, fortune telling, reading about ancient history, etc.(yeah, she's a lot like me in terms of not being picky about hobbies\sweatdrops\)

Bio: Tiffany came to be in my mind about a year ago, when I was talking with my parents, and the conversation of gaurdian angels came up. She has been possessed by both a demon, and a angel since she was 10 years old. Whenever it's daylight, she's the teen of every parent's dreams, but by nighttime, when the angel possessing her is asleep, the demon comes out, plaguing her with nightmares and visions as she sleeps, and her saying and doing things that she doesn't mean to do or say. She's constantly struggling to, not only keep her angel and demon in check, but also deal with a secret government organization that scouts out people like her, and trains them to become emotionless things made to kill. Fortunately, Ryo and Rex are always looking out for her, and making sure that she stays safe.

Melody

Age: 14

Gender: Female

Hair: Black

Eyes: Amythest

Hobbies: Caring for sick or injured animals, making tea, finding uniquely beautiful outfits, and picketing for fashion designers to stop using real fur, and start using faux fur(yeah, she's cool like that)

Bio: Melody is an old alter ego of mine, having originally been developed as a character for a game I play with my sister. Melody is a childhood friend of Judai Yuki, along with Yuki Sohma, and Yagura-san(Judai from Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, Yuki from Fruits Basket, and Yagura from Naruto aka the guy who broke Lee's leg in the anime). She's very much like a sister to all 3 of them, constantly annoying even Judai with her choice of nicknames, favorite quotes, major sweet tooth, and constantly keeping the 3 of them on their toes, however, she is very sweet and protective of her "brothers", and is always trying her best to keep them from getting kidnapped by the government(doesn't matter where you live, these 3 are going to be wanted by your government). She is also like a mother to my other alter egos.

Sakura

Age: ?

Gender: Female

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Dark chocolate brown

Hobbies: Eating healthy foods, finding new recipes for healthy foods, trying to get her boyfriend to eat healthy foods, exercising, cleaning, organizing, and watching musicals(It's a wonder her boyfriend stays with her)

Bio: Sakura was created with Tiffany. She is the angel that inhabits her body. She and the demon within Tiffany are lovers, and are hoping to gain their own bodies one day, and become immortal humans. Sakura was named that because it was cherry blossom season in Japan when God created her. At this point, the only things I can say about her are that she's a healthy, in shape, neat freak with a twinkie fetish.

Daisuke

Age: ?

Gender: Male

Hair: Jet Black

Eyes: Calm ocean blue

Hobbies: Eating junk food, finding new places to get junk food, hiding junk food from his girlfriend, being lazy, and watching TV(cool ain't he?:))

Bio: Daisuke was created with Sakura, and Tiffany. He is the demon that resides within Tiffany. Although laid back in attitude and appearence, he is not to be taken lightly. Not much else to say about him other then he's the polar opposite of his girlfriend.(Jesus, why does he stay with that women? All she does is nag, nag, nag.)

Rex

Age: 15

Gender: Male

Hair: What he didn't shave off is black

Eyes: Obsidian

Hobbies: Hanging out with friends, drinking fresca(why fresca, no one knows), and playing basketball(dorky yet cool, right?)

Bio: Rex was created with Tiffany, Sakura, and Daisuke. He's sweet, shy, and considerate, but don't upset his friends, cause it will be the last thing you do(along with hitting on Tiffany). He's big, tall, and hot.(I hope you girls like him)

Ryo

Age: 13(even though he doesn't look it)

Hair: Silver

Eyes: Steely gray blue

Hobbies: Hanging out with friends, drinking hot chocolate, and trying to become taller(he is REALLY short)

Bio: Ryo was created the same time as Tiffany, Sakura, Daisuke, and Rex. What more can I say other then he's a big mouthed little brat with a crush on Tiffany, and a chocolate fetish.

Luna

Age: 325 (young for an elf, ancient to us.)

Hair: Black (as midnight of the new moon)

Eyes: Mahogony

Hobbies: Solving riddles, defeating evil ancient profocies, shopping for clothes, and attempting to be a normal teenager(as normal as you can be with pointy ears anyways)

Bio: Luna is a fairly new alter ego of mine. Her mother is an elf, and her father is human. While her father tries to pull her away from her elvin heritage, her mother tries to pull her towards it, and become the Overseer of her clan. Luna goes to a normal high school, and wears normal teenage clothes. But as part of a deal her parents made, she is still to become the Overseer of her clan when she graduates from college. Luna however, not wanting to become the clan Overseer, has decided to drop out of college, since the agreement was AFTER she graduated from college. She's a sweet girl who drives her folks batty, and that's all there is to it.:)

Name: Alexander

Age: beats me, he's been around a LOOONG time XD(he's gonna kill me for this)

Hair: or should I say fur? He's a dog furry dude with white fur(usually)

Eyes: He switches between amethyst and obsidian

Hobbies: He likes going to raves, and adventuring

Bio: Alexander is my gaurdian. He's been my gaurdian since I was first born(as in, past lives exist). He can be a pissy little twit, but I know he cares. He was born in the Sound Village 3000 years after the whole incident with Konahagakure. He doesn't like the guy I used to have a crush on because, apparently, the guy wanted to give him a wedgie in one life because Alexander yelled at me. I can't remember him, and I haven't seen him in years. I haven't been able to remember him since I turned 10 years old, and it makes me sad, but sometimes I hear him, and he'll speak through one of my friends sometimes, so, I guess it's all good(He's probably gonna kill me now for writing this, XD!... 0.0).

Name: Carionthes

Age: 18

Hair: Blonde with green streaks

Eyes: Blood red

Hobbies: Preforming exorcisms, reading, and hanging out with his friends.

Bio: Carionthes was 11 years old when his mother died. His father, having gone insane soon after, attempted to murder his son. When Carionthes wouldn't let him, he started to abuse him. Carionthes only took the abuse for 2 days before running off to the city to escape his father's clutches. Years later, a demon killed his best friend, Crouton, and forced him and his friends to watch as he did. A year after that he become a successful exorcist, continued to get an education due to his friends' pleas, and attempted to make peace with his father, which ended in Crouton's soul saving him from more abuse, or even death, that he might've faced at the hands of his mentally and emotionally unstable father.

Name: Aurora

Age: I'd say about 18-20

Hair: Short, jet black

Eyes: Gray like lead

Hobbies: If I knew I'd tell you

Bio: Nothing much I can tell you other then I thought her up awhile ago, and forgot about her for awhile.

Name: Chibi

Age: 16(though she doesn't look it)

Hair: Black and blue, the blue parts are died, and are normally put in pigtails, or a small braid or something ike that

Eyes: Black

Hobbies: Trying new styles for hair, make up, and clothing, gazing at herself in the mirror, and(reluctantly)argueing about her height

Bio: Chibi was named so due to the fact that she was born premature, and was tiny for a newborn. She's always been short for her age. She's a freaking midget for corn's sake!XD

Name: Yarayna

Age: 13

Hair: Red with the tips died green

Eyes: Sky blue

Hobbies: Summonings(a game where you draw out demons, spirits, the occasional god, etc., and, after having some yourself to tempt them out further, giving the offerings to them and pitting them against other supernatural beings. The offerings can be something as unhealthy for you as alchohol, to something as good for you as fruits, to many other things, and it is for the sake of the players, or sorcerers as they're called, that if they have a license stating they play the game, even a minor can purchase cigarettes and alchohol, but only use it as means of playing the game), traveling, school work(if you're a sorcerer, up until high school, if you're traveling, a school cannot deny you an education unless they expelled you, so sorcerers tend to change schools alot), video games, anime/manga, reading, and just being her

Bio: Yarayna's name was originally spelled Yaraina when I first created her. the reason for the change in spelling was that the japanese pronunciation would have been incorrect due to the way it was spelled, so I changed it. Yarayna is a very sweet n' sour kinda girl, but that's just who she is, so you can think of as a sour patch kid I guess. She's extremely stubborn, but kind. She'll laugh at your pain, but ask if your okay. She's a sorcerer(as stated in the extremely long explanaition about her hobbie), so she does tend to get a few bumps and bruises on occation. She always carries her back pack around, since she has everything she needs. She's the adopted older sister of Judai/Jaden Yuki from Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, yet he's the one normally fussing over her. That's about it.

Fav couples(from anything really) and three or more people together(What? you didn't see that coming?)

(Naruto)

Sasuke x Naruto

Kakashi x Sasuke

Sasuke x Gaara

Kakashi x Iruka

Iruka x Naruto

Lee x Gaara(it's sweet)

Neji x Gaara

Gaara x Deidara

Itachi x Deidara

Tobi x Deidara

Pain x Konan(Yahiko Pain x Konan, not Nagato, or any of the other bodies Nagato controlled)

Itachi x Sasuke

Itachi x Kisame

Kisame x Zetsu

Sasuke x Deidara

Sasuke x Pain(once again, Yahiko Pain!)

Ranmaru x Karashi(filler episodes, best left unexplained)

Ranmaru x Inari(I think any one who's read and/or watched Naruto knows who Inari is)

Ranmaru x Hikaru x Inari(my imagination makes them sweet, naive little teenagers at 15 years old, and i think they'd be sweet together)

Raiga x Karashi(filler couple :D)

Kiba x Shikamaru

Kiba x Neji

Sasuke x Neji

Sasuke x Hinata

Hinata x Sakura

Sakura x Ino

Temari x Ino

Temari x Tenten

Temari x Hinata

Temari x Hinata x Tenten

Sasuke x Tayuya

Kabuto x Orochimaru

Kabuto x Sasuke

Naruto x Kakashi

(FMA(FullMetal Alchemist))

Ed x Al

Ed x Envy

Ed x Roy

Roy x Hawkeye

Hawkeye x Scar

Ed x Winry

Al x Roy

Ed x Hughes

Hughes x Roy

Hughes x Grace(what do you expect? they're married and cute together)

Ed x Russel

Havoc x Fuery(they'd be sooo sweet together!:D)

Lust x Gluttony(no one loves Lust more then Gluttony)

Ed x Scar(thanks to a role play between me and I friend which I will post as a fanfiction when it's done)

(Prince of Tennis)

Ryoma x Kunimitsu

Shusuke x Kunimitsu

Kaidoh x Sadaharu

Ryoma x Momoshiro

Oishi x Eiji

Ryoma x Yuta(such a shame no one has written stories for them, maybe I'll do one one of these days)

Ryoma x Shusuke

Ryoma x Hajime(St. Rudolph manager. I don't like him much, but I imagine Ryoma leaving the jerk for Yuta)

Ryoma x Kaidoh

Ryoma x Sadaharu(okay, to any one who's curious, I imagine Ryoma going out with these guys, but ending up with Yuta)

Eiji x Shusuke

Oishi x Taka(ahh, good ol' Taka from Seishun, who doesn't like him?)

(Death Note)

L x Light

Matt x Light

Matt x Mello

Mello x Near

L x Near

Aizawa x Matsuda(who here thinks this is a cute couple other then me, show of hands?)

Aizawa x Ukita(this couple appeared almost immediatly after Ukita's death in the anime in my mind. Any objections? I thought not.)

Matsuda x BB(don't ask how this one happened, it just did)

L x BB

BB x A

(Bleach)

Ichigo x Rukia

Ichigo x Orihime

Ichigo x Hichigo

Ichigo x Grimmjow

Ichigo x Ishida

Ichigo x Chad

Chad x Ishida

Ulquiorra x Orihime

Ulquiorra x Grimmjow

Ichigo x Grimmjow x Ulquiorra

Ichigo x Hichigo x Grimmjow

Ichigo x Hichigo x Ishida

Renji x Ichigo

Renji x Rukia

Ichigo x Hiyori

Shinji x Karin

Chad x Karin

Shinji x Hiyori

Rose x Love

Tatsuki x Ichigo

Tatsuki x Orihime

Rukia x Orihime

Tatsuki x Rukia x Orihime

(Yu-Gi-Oh!/GX/5d's)

(original couples/threesomes 1st)

Yami Yugi/Atemu x Yugi(when Atemu is considered to be Yami Yugi. When he's not this couple turns into a threesome)

Yami Yugi x Seto

Ryou x Bakura

Ryou x Bakura x Akefia(I know, Akefia is EvilBakura's Egyptian name, but I like this threesome)

Marik x Malik

Marik/Malik x Bakura

Yami x Bakura x Malik(I'v seen mix ups with this one, so let me clarify; EvilMarik is known as Malik, not Marik)

Joey x Seto

Mai x Tea

(now for GX couples / threesomes)

Judai/Jaden x Johan/Jesse

Judai/Jaden x Syrus/Shou

Judai/Jaden x Johan/Jesse x Shou/Syrus

Judai/Jaden x Chazz/Manjiome

Chazz/Manjiome x Syrus/Shou

Zane/Ryo x Syrus/Shou

Zane/Ryo x Aster/Edo

Zane/Ryo x Atticus(don't know his Japanese name, so I just put his English name)

Zane/Ryo x Edo/Aster x Atticus

Judai/Jaden x Rei/Blaire

Rei/Blaire x Alexis/Asuka

Tyrano x Syrus(watch the anime if you don't know who Tyrano Hasselberry is)

Tyrano x Axel(same goes for if you don't know who Axel Brody is)

Haou/Evil/DarkJaden/Evil/DarkJudai x Jehu/Evil/DarkJesse

Chazz/Manjiome x Bastion Misawa

Bastion Misawa x Jaden/Judai

Jaden/Judai x Prof. Banner(I learned about him from my Yu-Gi-Oh! GX video game)

Prof. Banner x Nurse Fontaine

(5d's now:))

Yusei x Jack

Jack x Crow

Yusei x Crow

Yusei x Kalin/Kiryu

Yusei x Jack x Crow x Kalin/Kiryu

Jack x Carly

Yusei x Aki

Jack x Mina

Mina x Trudge

Nurvin x Blitz

Blitz x Blister

Blister x Aki

Luna x Yusei(I imagine her legal at that point)

Luna x Rally

Leo x Rally

Blister x Yusei

Tanner x Crow(don't ask how this one came up)

Misty x Carly(I don't know much about that Misty chick, I just think she'd be cute with Carly)

(and now, pairings/threesomes with combinations from all three)

Aster/Edo x Rally(I think, if Rally turned legal and met Aster, they'd be cute together)

Yusei x Yugi x Judai/Jaden

Jesse x Yusei

Joey x Jesse(I think these two could get along well:))

Alexis/Asuka x Mai

Syrus/Shou x Rally(at 1st my sis and I thought Rally was a girl, but even after we figured out Rally was a boy, I still thought Rally and Syrus looked cute together)

(Artemis Fowl)

Artemis x Holly

Holly x Foaly(I've liked this one since I first got into the series, so don't ask)

(Crossover pairings I like now, if they seem like crack pairings you probably shouldn't ask.)

Sasuke x Judai/Jaden

Artemis x BB(This came to be after reading a DN-AF crossover fic)

(that's all for now, I'll update this soon hopefully)

Now for copy and pastes, and random crap.

If you've watched Yugioh Abridged by Little Kuriboh, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you laugh at stupid random jokes, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Duke Devlin's theme song plays every time he walks, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Seto secretly reads Puppyshipping, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're a Bakura fangirl, copy this to your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy this into your profile.

If you believe the government should make Levees, not war, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever gone into a laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this onto your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you say or do a totally random thing, like, "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself ( I find that I'm a very tough opponent.). So if you're crazy copy this onto your profile.

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "Eraser Bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just to help you cry. if you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing their ass off.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Put this into your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile.

If you are a obsessed Spiritshipping fan, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever run into a door copy this onto your profile.

If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile and add your name. AlukaKaiserin (i love my fox...), rubyqueen808 (give me a break, i've had Little Kitty since I was born!)Johan's Lover43v3r (I always hug my bunny plushy) Animehime20 (My stuffed seal I've had since I was 1) serina-phantom (My seal XD) Kaoru Tezuka (Most might not think he's cute, but I love my Itachi plushie I got for xmas, and I'm not even a fangirl)

If you're a Johan Andersen fangirl and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a Judai Yuki fangirl and proud of it, copy this to your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you want to be a character on an anime show, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name and the show you want to be a character on.Lina(Lee-chan) (Yu-Gi-Oh! GX) Animehime20 (Yugioh GX) Kaoru Tezuka (Naruto, each of the Yu-Gi-Oh!s, Pokemon, the list goes on and on)

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line (HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny)

You know you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname(or my space)

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen,Angelz on Edge, HermioneGranger1993, ;-) Bellanes, -Aikio-Hatate-,crimson angel3579,moyashi the 14th,luvingrandomness, heartofhate1014, solarkittygirl, Kaoru Tezuka

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
picking someone up off their feet = "That they love them fully and would do anything for them"

If you enjoy watching people run around like idiots then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you prefer that people be themselves, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you absolutely HATE IT when a person acts snobby, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever been smacked for some of the DUMBEST YET FUNNIEST reasons, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are a yaoi fangirl/fanboy, paste this into your profile!

Please read

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

THERE IS A CALIFORNIA LAW THAT STATES:
"IF ANYONE TRIES TO MOLEST BUTTERFLIES, THEY WILL RECEIVE A 500 DOLLAR FINE."
-THIS IS TRUE!!-
SPREAD THE WORD!! COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

(I have the ones that apply to me in bold)

I'm SKINNY so I MUST be anorexic

I'm EMO so I MUST cut my wrists

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun

I'm BLONDE so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat

I'm ASIAN so I MUST be sexy

I'm JEWISH so I MUST be greedy

I'm GAY so I MUST have AIDS

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST have a sex tape

I'm ARAB so I MUST be a terrorist

I SPEAK MY MIND so I MUST be a bitch

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER so I WILL go to hell

I'm a CHIRSTIAN so I MUST think gay people should go to hell

I'm RELIGIOUS so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world

I don't have a RELIGION so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I'm REPUBLICAN so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I'm DEMOCRAT so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I'm LIBERAL so I MUST be gay

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS so I MUST be crazy

I'm a GUY so I MUST only want to get into your pants

I'm IRISH so I MUST have a bad drinking problem

I'm INDIAN so I MUST own a convenient store

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage

I'm a CHEERLEADER so I MUST be a whore

I'm a DANCER so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot so I MUST be a slut

I'm a PUNK so I MUST do drugs

I'm RICH so I MUST be a conceited snob

I WEAR BLACK so I MUST be goth or Emo

I'm a WHITE GIRL so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend

I'm CUBAN so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars

I'm NOT A VIRGIN so I MUST be easy

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore

I'm a TEENAGE MOM so I MUST be an irresponsible slut

I LIKE VAMPIRES so I MUST be a Gothic freak

I'm POLISH so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN do I MUST have a "big one"

I'm EGYPTIAN so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm PRETTY so I MUST not be a virgin

I HAVE STRAIGHT A's so I MUST have no social life

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS so I MUST be looking for attention

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention

I'm INTO THEATER AND ART so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VEGETARIAN so I MUST be a crazy political activist

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be fucking them all

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS so I MUST be a player

I have BIG BOOBS so I MUST be a hoe

I'm COLOMBIAN so I MUST be a drug dealer

I WEAR WHAT I WANT so I MUST be a poser

I'm RUSSIAN so I MUST be cool and that's how Russian's roll

I'm GERMAN so I MUST be a Naz

I hang out with GAYS so I MUST be gay too

I'm BRAZILIAN so I MUST have a big butt

I'm PUERTO RICAN so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN so I MUST like llamas

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST be violent

I'm a FEMALE GAMER so I MUST be ugly... or crazy

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool aid

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH so I MUST be fat

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly

I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a nerd that does homework 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals

I like to bounce between some styles, and even though they're similar, it means I MUST be a POSER

I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe Jesus wuz a brotha

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE AND HAVE BLACK FRIENDS so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil

I'm HISPANIC so I MUST be dirty

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE so I MUST be a loser

I'm OVERWEIGHT so I MUST have problems with self control

I'm PREPPY so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie and Hollister

I'm on a DANCE team so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm YOUNG so I MUST be naive

I'm RICH so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN so I MUST have hopped the border

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY so I MUST be a spoiled brat

I'm BLACK so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot

I'm an ASIAN GUY so I MUST have a small penis

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER so I MUST be gay

I'm a PREP so I MUST be rich

I don't LIKE THE SUN so I MUST be albino

I have a lot of FRIENDS so I MUST love to drink and party

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy so I MUST be Emo

I couldn't hurt a FLY so I MUST be a pussy

I support GAY RIGHTS so I MUST fit in with everyone

I HANG OUT with teenage drinkers and smokers so I MUST smoke and drink too

I have ARTISTIC TALENT so I MUST think little of those who don't

I have a DIFFERENT sense of humor so I MUST be crazy

I tell people OFF so I MUST be an over-controlling bitch

I'm DEFENSIVE so I MUST be an over-controlling bitch

I wear TIGHT CLOTHES so I MUST be a whore

I'm a NUDIST so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs

I read COMICS so I MUST be a loser

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I'm GOTH so I MUST be a satanist

I like to DANCE so I MUST want to show off my body and screw everyone in the club

I'm a CROSSDRESSER so I MUST be a homosexual

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak

I'm a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker

I WATCH/READ PORN so I MUST be perverted

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak

I'm AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed, and arrogant

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm a YOUNG WRITER so I MUST be Emo

I'm CANADIAN so I MUST talk with a funny accent

I'm a GUY so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend

I'm CANADIAN so I MUST love hockey and beavers

I'm DISABLED so I MUST be on Welfare

I laugh at MYSELF so I MUST have low self-esteem

I'm a FEMINIST so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and want to castrate every man on earth

I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST have a stereotype

I WEAR a big sun hat when I go outside so I MUST be stupid

I like BLOOD so I MUST be a vampire

I'm ALBINO so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and a murderer

I'm ENGLISH so I MUST speak with either a cockney or posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth

I'm WHITE so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on this planet: past, present, and future

I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST steal, lie, and cheat

I don't like YAOI or YURI so I MUST be a homophobe

I'm not the most POPULAR person in school so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue

I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE so I MUST be against abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall, blond, blue-eyed lesbian

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every girl I see

I like CARTOONS so I MUST be irresponsible

I like READING so I MUST be a loner

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be wrong or misguided

I'm WICCAN so I MUST be a Satanist

I DISAGREE with my government so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm a WITCH so I MUST be an old hag and fly around on a broomstick

I love YAOI so I MUST be gay

I'm a PERSON so I MUST be labeled

I DON'T CURSE so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME, and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be white

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS so I MUST be a pedantic bastard

I'm GOTHIC so I MUST be mean

I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid

I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos

I go on the INTERNET so I MUST have no social life

I go to RENFAIRS so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I'm GAY so I MUST be after every straight guy around

I don't want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be a lesbian

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting

I love MARCHING BAND so I MUST be a friendless freak

I DRINK and SMOKE so I MUST have no life

I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST have no clue

If you think stereotypes stupid, pointless, untrue ways of seperating people into different catagories just so that we can have meaningless, childish arguments about who's better then who, and stupid reasons for seperating people by physical, and/or personal preferences, then copy and paste this into your profile.

I copy and pasted this next part, so it's not mine. Sorry, I should've mentioned this sooner. _'

An inside look on what determines the popularity of a story:

Here's a new little section on my profile. I've noticed lately that many stories aren't getting the credit they deserve, and by that, I mean their number of reviews are lower than they should be, as well as the number of people reading their stories are in the minority. I know that a lot of us write for our own personal reasons but, hey, who doesn't like some positive feedback? So, this is my section on what attracts readers to a story.

1. Summary: Nothing is as important to a reader than a summary. It's the first thing that attracts readers' attention. If you have something in your summary that says 'Crap Summary' than it will turn a lot of people off. Also if your summary reads "Summary inside," then I can guarentee that half of readers aren't going to take the time to click on the story. You want your summary to be brief and consise, something that leaves the reader wanting to learn more.

2. Pairings: This is another big one. When readers' don't know who the story is about, then a lot of people just keep going. It is critical to put in your summary at least the main pairing. Whether you write 'Puzzleshipping,' 'YxYY' 'YuugixAtem' or just mention both their names somewhere in the summary, they all inform the reader about what couple they can expect to read about in the story. I, for example, would click on a story that said 'Two people's journey through love. Puzzleshipping.' as opposed to 'Two people's journey through love,' and that's it. It's all about giving people what they want, so clarify the pairings in your summary.

3. Rating: So, I don't know if many people have realized this, but if you publish your story and the rating is 'M' then it will not appear under the 'new stories' section. Same goes for the 'updated stories' too. And as you all know, that's how most of us see what new and updated stories are out there. So, here's my suggestion: unless your story has a sex scene or extremely graphic violence scene in the first chapter, then set the rating to 'T' because when the time comes, you can always raise it to 'M'. Having the rating of 'T' allows your story to be listed under the 'new and updated stories' section, thus giving readers the opportunnity to see it. Because, if your story starts out with a rating of 'M', the only way that someone can find it is through reccomendation or if a reader uses the search method, which the majority of us don't.

4. OCs (Own Character): This is important for some authors to understand. No one (and by that I mean the majority of reader's) likes OCs. Why? Because reader's don't like reading about someone who doesn't have anything to do with the characters originally in the fandom that they're reading about. Very few readers can bond with OCs and if they see that you have an OC paired with one of the characters in their fandom (For example, YuugixOC) then you can bet that 80 percent of readers will look the other way. So, unless necessay, stray away from OCs.

Anyways, these are just a few tips for both new and old authors to ensure that readers don't turn away from your story before they've even gotten a chance to read what you have to offer.

I must say this now, or I will never remember to do this: I have decided that I will delete any and all stories I've lost interest in if they are multi-chap, so that readers won't put a story on their alerts they think might be contined that never will be. It is my duty as an author not to fool my readers into thinking that I'm going to continue a story that I know I will never finish. Now, with all this being said, random crap, and stories shall be posted after this from here on out. Thankies.:)

Once again I disrupt the randomness for important news, if you know me in real life you probably already know this, I've been officially diagnosed with OCD, so if I seem a little off to you that's part of the reason why. Well, hopefully randomness interuptions won't occur any more, bye!:D

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(We don't get fake fake bacon. We get real fake bacon.)

On an American Flag:
Made in China
(Wow America)

At Funplex:
Paintless Paintball
(So it's...ball?)

Next to a kid's place:
Adult Movies
(Real smart)

In a Parking Lot:
Do not park in the parking lot.
(That's okay, the streets are empty.)

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Do you have a map? Because I am lost in your eyes.
Woman: The only map I've got for you leads straight off a cliff.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

and:
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

Work vs Prison

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

So why is it, again, that we work?

John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn't help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was.

She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious.

She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye.

Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, "I can see your wheels turning Mom and I know what you're thinking. Rest assured Judy and I are strictly roommates."

A few days later, Judy went to John and said, "You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can't seem to find it. You don't think she would have taken it, do you?"

"I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure," replied John.

John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter: "Dear Mom, While I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'didn't' take a gravy ladle, the fact remains that ever since you were here for dinner one has been missing. Love, Your son."

Several days later, John received a reply from his mother which read: "Dear John, While I am not saying you 'do' sleep with Judy, and I'm not saying you 'don't' sleep with her, the fact remains that she would have found the gravy ladle by now if she were sleeping in her own bed. Love, Mom."

Two Dead Boys
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
go ask the blind man, he saw it too

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile:

My name is sarah I am but three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls I press myself Against the wall.
I try and hide From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now I'm start to cry.
He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door.
He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! Copy this if you believe it needs to end

Try and read this.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

Controversial issues:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnautural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Leaglalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaivor. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has leagal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is still illeagal.
5) Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britiny Spears' 55- hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviosly gay parents will only raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supporeted by religion. In theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are inposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
9) Children can never suceed without a male and female romodel at home. That's why society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of soceity; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, service-economy, or longer life span...
Repost this if you believe in leagalizing gay marraige.